Sherlock left me a comment today (while he was at school, which he knows he's not really meant to do) to inform me that he'd be going with Lestrade to his conference Thursday. I wouldn't normally pay much attention to this. Sounds like wishful thinking, right? Or Sherlock's version of wishful thinking, which is usually to announce how things are going to be and then throw a fit when someone disagrees.
This time, though, he said Mrs T (that's his teacher) told him he'd be off school Thursday and Friday. Now, if he'd said he told her he'd be off school for two days I'd still assume it was just Sherlock being Sherlock, but it's not like him to lie.
To say something like, "Mrs T didn't say I could go but I'll talk to her again tomorrow and she will then," yes, absolutely. He has a lot of confidence in his ability to make things go the way he wants them to. But he doesn't generally lie, not even to get out of trouble. If you ask him, Sherlock, did you make that incredible mess in the kitchen? he'll say, Yes, but I had to because... And then fill you in on his logic, which is often not like Earth logic at all.
So I'm suspicious. Lestrade? Care to comment? If you want to take him along, all you have to do is ask.
This time, though, he said Mrs T (that's his teacher) told him he'd be off school Thursday and Friday. Now, if he'd said he told her he'd be off school for two days I'd still assume it was just Sherlock being Sherlock, but it's not like him to lie.
To say something like, "Mrs T didn't say I could go but I'll talk to her again tomorrow and she will then," yes, absolutely. He has a lot of confidence in his ability to make things go the way he wants them to. But he doesn't generally lie, not even to get out of trouble. If you ask him, Sherlock, did you make that incredible mess in the kitchen? he'll say, Yes, but I had to because... And then fill you in on his logic, which is often not like Earth logic at all.
So I'm suspicious. Lestrade? Care to comment? If you want to take him along, all you have to do is ask.
65 comments:
I've already said I didn't say he could come. I've no idea what he's on about, unless he took the comments on here about helping me too seriously?
Anyway, after the last comment from him I'm waiting to feel social services' hand on my collar any moment. If I wasn't terrified of speaking at his school before, I sure am now.
(and I'd love you ALL to come with me, save me from boredom. But the Met probably wouldn't like it.)
Then I'm at a loss as well. Although I am enjoying the mental image of you up on stage lecturing with Sherlock as your dead body. He'd keep peeking to see the effect he was having on your audience.
You're sure this has nothing to do with anything else happening on the 31st?
If it has, I don't know about it. I might be able to leave a little late on Thursday morning, so we could have a birthday breakfast? And I could give you moral support if Sherlock is up to something.
And oddly the picture I get it me being the body and him giving the lecture.
He does, as he points out, have more experience speaking in front of people. Although if he actually does it every day I need to send Mrs T flowers or something, especially if it's on the subject of murders.
Breakfast would be lovely. I'll get bacon.
After all the press conferences, seminars, lectures, planning meetings, court appearances, case briefings and everything I've done over the years I think he's got a fair way to go, actually. But he does have plenty of confidence.
I think I need to hide from Mrs T for a while.
Get anything you want, i'll do a proper breakfast for us all. and enjoy the battle regarding Sherlock and school.
Don't worry about Mrs T, I'll explain everything tomorrow. Well. As much as it can be explained.
I don't think it counts as public speaking unless there's at least ten people involved. You might be right, but he's catching you up fast.
Will you make those omelettes?
Omelettes, yeah, no problem. Are you sure you don't want a present? Other than me making untuneful noises at you? And you haven't answered the guitar question yet. Can you wait until next week? I really haven't practiced as much as I should have.
I can wait, sure. Which guitar question? Electric or acoustic? I think I said either was fine, didn't I? If I didn't, I'm saying it now.
As for presents, you did just offer to get me a motorcycle jacket.
I haven't decided to buy the bike yet! Although if I bought you the jacket I would be forced to buy the matching bike...
Guitar question was Wednesday night guitar, or Monday when I'm back. But you've sort of answered that too.
Oh right! I'm not going senile on you, I swear. Monday's fine, or the next weekend if you want more time, I'm not bothered.
Forced. Mmhmm. Obviously. I can quite see that.
Not bothered? I'll play for your 80th, then. If you keep me that long.
Yes, forced. You'll definitely have to come for a test ride first, though. You might find out you hate it.
All right, I am slightly bothered. Let's say sometime in the next month.
I find it hard to believe I'll hate anything that involves going fast and holding onto you at the same time. Although I am still waiting to hear just how bad that accident was.
Well, I'm still here. Ergo not that bad.
Like I said, I don't really remember what actually happened. The van swerved, hit me, I went over, and naturally stuck my arm out. So they think that when I hit the deck I broke my wrist, and when my shoulder hit I did my collarbone - but that was an open fracture, hence the jacket getting a bit of blood on it, in the lining. Dry cleaners worked wonders with it.
Anyway, at some point whatever I fell in front of hit me, apparently. Had a bit of a bruised kidney, general soft tissue injuries. The first thing I knew was a bloke shouting at me to see if I was still alive, with his face pressed on the road, trying to see into my helmet - I'd ended up on my front.
The ambulance turned up, scraped me off the ground, sorted me out and after a few days I was allowed home. Bit of concussion, lots of bruises, twisted up my knee and ankle, cracked some ribs, wrist, collar bone and a bit of whiplash. I was back at work within a month or so - sitting behind a desk, obviously. Most painful bit was them getting me onto one of those spine boards.
None of it was serious, but put together I was pretty hacked off for a while, stuck at home and not able to do much. And my bike was a write off.
All right. Well. I have slightly more sympathy for your ex than I did before. Try not to do that again, okay?
I've never had an accident that was my fault. And I do try my best not to have the ones that aren't my fault, too.
You can make me extra safe by sitting behind me.
Thanks for that, it's appreciated.
Heh. So I can cushion your fall? Not sure I'd help much. On a more serious note: I'm sure the boys will want rides on this theoretical bike you'll be forced to buy. Stick to the smaller roads with them, all right? Assuming you're willing to take them, and it's completely fine if you're not.
You don't have to cushion my fall - I still just about bounce. Getting a bit brittle, I suppose, but I'll be fine.
You can cushion the bike's fall though.
If Mrs Holmes says the boys can ride pillion, if we get them helmets that fit, and if they can reach the pegs, they can ride if they'd like. Although I'd probably take them off-road, mainly. We'll let them sit on the theoretical-bike-I-may-not-buy first, see how they feel.
You, on the other hand, I could probably almost get my knee on the tarmac with, I reckon. Hahaha.
Right, tiny little helmets, check. If they'd like? I grant you, Mycroft might decline, but Sherlock? Can you imagine the nagging you're in for?
You, on the other hand, I could probably almost get my knee on the tarmac with, I reckon.
God yes. Sounds hot to me.
Good! Sounds good to me I meant. Why can't I edit comments??
You meant hot, give it up, Danger. It's fine. You can declare your motorbike kinks to the world on here, it's your blog, you can do what you like. Really. No one will mind. You fantasizing about my knees on the tarmac...nothing weird about that.
Onto a completely different subject, yes, helmets and as much gear as we can get for them. I'm really not sure Sherlock will be tall enough. Although I can sort out some higher pegs, if he's not. And Mrs Holmes' permission - probably the most important thing. Although the British Virgin Islands are nice.
(and the little word to post a comment says you're a perv.)
It does not, I don't believe you, and also shut up. :P And it's not the bike, it's you on it.
And yeah, of course, I'll definitely ask their mum, though if she were going to say no I'd probably have heard from her by now. It's ridiculous to think she employs someone just to read our blogs all the time, right?
She employs someone? I thought she just had the information injected directly into her brain?
Or it was how Mycroft earned his allowance.
Will no shut up. Not after that little Freudian slip. Leather, speed, knees, tarmac all turn you on. When combined. I really will have to drag out my jacket and see what happens to you. Just try not to drool on it.
It was just a typo! I still have photos of you from NIcky that I could post, you know.
re: Mrs H - I would believe it.
Good and hot are not typo sort of words! The letters are miles apart!
Don't worry, there are plenty of things I find hot about you, too. Have even picked out a new jacket for you on my blog comments. Not sure 'hot' is the right word, though. More 'cool'.
You know, if I can summon up the energy to move I will tickle you until you give in and show me what pictures Nicky's sent you.
Where? What jacket? I thought I was subscribed to all your blog comments.
My fingers just typed it all on their own. I disclaim all responsibility.
And I am still not ticklish. At all.
...Never mind. I've found the relevant comments and don't you dare.
Re not being ticklish - I shall be forced to find another way to have you begging for...mercy, forgiveness, or something. Fairly sure it won't be difficult.
Re jacket - it's lovely! Obviously I'd get 'Danger' written on the back, custom. You don't have to be shy with me, I love you despite the horrible flaws in your musical taste.
No one has good taste at thirteen! I grew out of it!
I suspect Mycroft will still have stunningly good taste, actually. Despite your influence. Have you seen the shirts he wears? They're nicer than mine!
And that word thingy for posting a comment just told me I was right, in Italian. Perhaos Mycroft controls it?
It's completely possible.
I'm cold, miles from anywhere I'd trust to get food from - so hungry, tired, and being rained on. Whilst looking for missing body parts. How's your day going?
Er. A bit better than yours, sorry. The boys are at school (Mycroft's very excited for his lesson today; Ms P has got a guest in, someone working in astrophysics), I have toast with marmalade and tea and something I probably shouldn't admit to watching on the telly. No it's not Robin Sparkles!
Where are you anyway? I could probably bring you lunch if that's not horribly embarrassing.
I wish I hadn't asked.
And I know you watch her on youtube. It comes up as an autofill on your laptop.
Mycroft is...he amazes me. Did you know the Latin exam he's taking is the entry exam one for Oxford uni? He's bloody 12! I mean, I know he's not going to uni yet, but being able to do the exam is...well, amazing. I think his teacher is at a loss for anything hard enough for him to do. I feel that perhaps I make him a little bit more stupid every time I speak to him.
And given I'm searching for body parts, I'm sorry, can't tell you where I am, in case anyone with a weird urge to help tries to find us. Or more accurately, tries to find bits of corpse.
I might phone you in a bit, but we're pretty busy and in a fairly inhospitable place. Not sure I'd want you walking around here on your own. And yes, I know you're ex army and capable of looking after yourself, but still...
It autofills on yours as well. That proves nothing. And I know you watch it when I'm out of the room.
He's completely amazing, yeah. I'm floored by one or both of them pretty much daily. Did you know Mycroft's looking more at Oxford than Cambridge now because you liked them in the race?
Re: your lack of lunch - fair enough I suppose. If I get to worry, you do too.
Only because I had to look it up when Harry commented.
Mycroft really shouldn't do anything based on my sporting likes. Unless he wants to sign for Arsenal.
Lunch is my own fault. My mind was on other things this morning when I left the yard, or i would have brought some.
He looks up to you is my point. So no, I don't think you're lowering his IQ with every conversation.
I don't think Arsenal's going to happen, but his skating teacher's talking about a competition next month. Care to come along?
Mmm, well we've established that young teens can have terrible tastes already today, Danger Sparkles.
I'd love to come and watch Mycroft skate, yeah!
Oh stop. I'm sure you have a whole legion of baby policemen looking up to you as well; you ought to be used to it by now.
Excellent, I'll tell him.
He does. Well, looking up or cowering in fear. You do know he's got one of the best clear up rates ever, in the history of Scotland Yard? Although he won't admit it. Might be a good detective, but he's blind to some things.
Don't you have some work to do, Sergeant? And the team has the good record, not me.
Danger, glad you didn't bring lunch now. Not after watching one of the PCs losing his. And then having to find out why.
I didn't know, but I'm not surprised. He'll say I'm biased, I'm sure, but I've seen him working and I know he's good.
L - Sorry. Hope the vomiting was due to some helpful body-part-finding related reason at least.
You are biased.
No, nothing helpful. Decomposing dog corpse (i think) wrapped in plastic. The smell was rather special. He thought it was a body part though, from the stink.
Oh, and if you can put the last comment out of your mind, don't plan dinner, i'll cook when I get there. And let the boys stay up to eat with us. (I say that as if you've ever succeeded in influencing their sleep patterns.)
I might be a bit late, once I've finished here, got home and packed etc., but i'll be there!
And this is spooky now, the word just told me to hurry in Italian.
You'd better hurry then! Maybe Mycroft really is controlling it.
Who wraps a dog corpse in plastic? Don't answer that. I can think of several possibilities and I don't want any of them confirmed. I hope your PC's feeling better.
What are we eating? Should I get anything?
Erm...how does fresh pasta with a pancetta, almond and blue cheese sauce sound? And zabaglione for after? Both tasty, but won't take too long to make.
You don't have to get anything, I've got it all sorted. You just have to be there and enjoy it.
No idea who put the dig there. It's one of those horrible backwaters that all sorts wash up in. Hence our search for bodyparts there. And it's not part of my investigation, so we'll never find out. Although we do have to keep it and send it to forensics, just in case our killer started small and got bigger...but I think the dog is a bit fresher than the body.
I think he is. It's even money if it was the corpse or the dodgy burger he ate at lunchtime that caused the vomit. Because no copper will admit to puking at a body.
Dog...dog there. bloody text.
No med student will either, but it happens to almost everyone.
Dinner sounds amazing, I can't wait!
True enough.
And you'll have to wait just a little bit longer. How many eggs have you got? With everything else I've got to cart over to yours I doubt my ability to get eggs there unscathed.
Nine. That's got to be enough, right? I know this dessert thing takes a lot.
Nine is fine. Hope Mycroft's exam isn't too early tomorrow morning. And I'll try not to leave too much booze in the zabaglione. Don't want him hungover. Although maybe I'll do one for them and one for us...
You do have excellent ideas. Are you sure about doing dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow before you leave? You might want to get some relaxing in there somewhere.
I plan to thoroughly relax tonight, once we've eaten, and I've got you into bed...
Anyway, I don't have to be up too early tomorrow, like I said. And then I've got long, boring evenings stuck in a crap hotel surrounded by people determined to get drunk on expenses. I'll relax then.
Heh. I should've seen at least the first part of that answer coming. Right.
Well I've got to make sure you remember me on those long lonely nights...
Can I just say I'm super jealous of this evening/morning of yours, even if it ends with a road trip to a long, boring conference.
Probably just a sandwich for me. ;)
Also I have to vent a sec, because I'd love your perspective on this, Lestrade- our cops get overtime when they come to court if they have the day off. As a courtesy we put them on call if we're not sure there will be a trial, so they can go do whatever. Of course if they end up not having to come down for trial, they don't get the overtime.
This veteran officer wanted me to sign a slip for him even though I put him on call and he never had to show up at all. When I (politely) told him I discussed it with my supervisor and I wasn't going to do it, he goes on this extended rant that ends with him telling me to kiss his ass and hanging up on me.
What the eff!!
Lindsay - leave your address, I'll pack some dinner up and send it to you. Of course, if you live outside London, it may not be very fresh...
As to your vent, the officer sounds like he was either already having a very bad day, or he's a total wanker. Either way, he shouldn't have taken it out on you.
Here, once you're Inspector or above you don't get paid overtime at all. And you're required to attend court whatever happens - rest days, working nights, on leave, whatever.
If it can all be planned in time they won't put you in court when you're on leave - but it does happen a lot. The forms we have to fill in require a certain degree of mind reading, and an ability to predict the future. Neither of which anyone I know has mastered.
Anyway, I'm sorry he was horrible to you. No one deserves that.
Lestrade- Given that I live in the USA I don't think either of our countries' postal services would be pleased. But I appreciate the thought. ;)
Thanks for listening to me moan. Just, sometimes...grr. Also have to say it makes it tough to go to bat for an officer in trial when he pulls these kinds of things on you.
The rule here is that unless the officer is on medical/emergency/bereavement/approved vacation, he or she is expected to be in court. If the officer is on duty we let them do their thing and only call him in if needed. But if the officer is off, he's expected to come wait around the court unless the prosecutor puts him on call. It sucks, I definitely sympathize; especially with the poor officers who just came off a midnight shift and haven't slept in ages. That's why we do on call, which isn't great but is better than sitting in court all day.
But really, if we paid every officer every time they were summonsed to court (regardless of whether they testified or even showed up) the overtime bill would probably be higher than the GDP of the entire state.
So I'm curious to know what Mrs. T said and what logic Sherlock pulled out to explain this whole going to the conference thing. You got distracted with hot guys in leather on bikes (a reasonable distraction, granted), wandered off to crime scenes and food, but we never quite got the end of the original story.
Yeah! THE INTERNET DEMANDS TO KNOW.
Yes, please let us curious folks know what the story is with Sherlock and Mrs T. I hope Sherlock isn't too disappointed about not getting to help Lestrade at his conference.
And good luck to Mycroft on his exam! I love Latin. I'm pretty rusty now, but singing in choirs has helped me retain some.
In Texas it's officially your birthday now... So happy birthday, Danger!
Thanks! You know if he actually gets me that horrible jacket, I'm holding you personally responsible, right?
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