"Show us everything you've got," Lestrade said to the jam woman. "John here loves...jam. Can't get enough...jam. I swear I could feed him jam all. Night. Long. And he'd never complain."
"Oh, men. They're all like that, aren't they? Spreading it on thick when it suits them, leaving you dry when it doesn't."
I'm not completely sure what she meant by that, but it did bring up several vivid mental images, as I'm sure it does for you. At that point I seriously considered just walking away and pretending I didn't know him. And then there was the sausage man. I'm fairly sure I can't quote what either of them said without breaking some sort of law, or at the very least having to explain things to the boys that I don't want to explain.
(We've already had a talk about Things It's Not a Good Idea to Google, thanks to Lestrade's comment on my post yesterday. I'm fairly sure I can trust Mycroft to leave it alone, but Sherlock just wants to know everything. About everything. All the time. Things were much simpler when I was their age. I don't know about better, but definitely simpler. I suppose we were the last generation to subscribe to National Geographic for the, ahem, photos.)
But he blames me for the cheese man, and it was not my fault. All I said was that I wanted a hard one! Which is a perfectly reasonable thing to say about cheese. And he had a lot of hard ones. Cheeses. I thought I'd let him pick, that's all. And I did not look at him in any particular way, and there was absolutely no call for Lestrade to say what he did about the holes in the Swiss cheese. None. But I think it was mostly due to jealousy (why? baffling), so I'll let him off this time.
18 comments:
How did the talk go, Danger? "John, what Lestrade said..."
"Don't Google it."
"I haven't told you what it was yet!"
"If Lestrade said it, don't Google it."
And is that a new tag? I hope you mean 'old man' as in 'loving partner', not as in 'pensioner'?
You were definitely not innocent during the cheese conversation.
It *might* have been accidental. I found myself saying yesterday, "I like them shiny and slippery and pointy". Talking about knitting needles, but that's not what S thought as he walked past...
J
Help. Send a rescue squad. Have been summoned to a meeting on a Friday afternoon. May go stir crazy.
It's about dealing with the press regarding the new figures out about prison sentences for carrying a knife.
I don't even begin to understand why I have to be there. Think I'm being stitched up. Mycroft, get on the case, break me outta here!
And I haven't had any lunch yet!
I could probably do something with the building sprinkler system, but John said hacking other people's buildings was impolite?
Ah, food innuendo FTW. XD
Oh, food innuendo . So much fun when everyone else is getting embarrassed. :P
L - please note tag change.
And when you say 'we'll be having a talk'...am I included in that 'we'? I'm slightly scared.
No, the talk you and I will be having is an entirely different one, on the subject of intellectual vs emotional maturity - I am actually talking about theirs, not yours. And you are going to listen to the whole thing. I will use cuffs if necessary.
Mycroft - hacking government systems is especially impolite. Please don't, regardless of Lestrade's reply.
J - ha! It's not our fault at all really. People just take things out of context.
lawless and sylv - ONLY FUN WHEN YOU ARE NOT THE TARGET.
Unfortunately, people get more opportunities to take things out of context than is normal, around me. For example (on squeaking, upon being startled by a cleaner with a feather duster): "It was all big and pink, and sudden!"
Hahaha! I'm sure it was, too!
How can you threaten that sort of talk and introduce the cuffs into the same conversation??
Mycroft, you should listen to Danger on this one. Don't hack the yard. They won't be pleased, and I somehow doubt your mother would be either.
Just leaving the yard, after nearly the most tedious meeting in history, and there was no point in me being there.
I'm almost scared to tell you how my morning went. I have a feeling Danger won't enjoy the story as much as Sherlock...
And I did note the tag change. Much better!
...What happened? Are you all right?
If I told you here, I'd have nothing to blog about! I've written it down. I shall make myself scarce and hide somewhere with the dogs until you promise me you won't kill me.
I am, as *always*, FINE.
There are so many ways to disrupt meetings and retrieve wayward companions that involve no hacking at all. The majority of my childhood is composed of such incidences.
Though, come to think of it, my parents utterly failed to approve of my creativity in most cases. Such a pity because most of them were such FUN.
Tinkerty-tonk!
Bronwyn
But how many of them still worked when you were at home and the intended rescuee was several miles away? This seemed the easiest solution. And they should really work on their security.
I find an abrupt delivery of 47 triple meat pizzas without explanation to be an excellent interruption. Or perhaps the sudden arrival of a singing telegram. Or really anything delivered by a man dressed in a bunny or gorilla suit. The advantage being that these people take themselves to the location in question and generally create quite a stir.
It's awesome.
Tinkerty-tonk,
Bronwyn
Post a Comment