Sunday, September 30, 2012

arrogance, guilt, and squid

Lestrade is cooking squid. Probably will have cooked squid by the time I finish this. I admit I'm slightly dubious about the prospect of barely cooked squid, but I trust him. Apparently you either have to cook it a long time or barely at all. It gets rubbery otherwise. Having had a fair amount of rubbery squid, I believe it.

I've said before that I don't think I could do what Lestrade does, i.e. go out every day into what is essentially a war zone and come home at the end of it and somehow make the transition back to being a relatively normal human being. Transition has never been particularly easy for me. It's always got to be one thing or the other, all the way or not at all.

I think that's why I found a lot of the work at Sarah's surgery a bit...well, boring. I suppose there's no way to say that without sounding like an arrogant arsehole, but any nurse (especially Murray) will tell you that all doctors are arrogant arseholes, so maybe I am. It wasn't the sort of work I went into medicine for, at any rate. And I know I shouldn't feel that way, but knowing that doesn't help. Just adds guilt to the mix.

When L brought up the possibility of working as an FME (forensic medical examiner for anyone who missed that before), I think, despite having a fair idea of how hard it would be, I knew that second that I'd do it if I possibly could. I've looked into A&E work before, but it just won't fit with Sherlock's schedule. A lot of times I'm the only one who can guarantee I'll make it to his school functions, and I don't want that to change.  This seems like it'll be a bit more flexible. Mrs Holmes is back this week, so I can talk to her about it. Just the prospect of it is a relief in a lot of ways. I didn't realise how much the lack of occupation was weighing on me. 

98 comments:

Greg Lestrade said...

Glad I only count as 'relatively normal' ;) Although around here I'd have to ask relative to what?

I can see why working at the surgery isn't your sort of thing. Just like being custody sarge or working the front desk (used to be) in a police station. All essential work, but not something I'd want to do, because I want to be out on the street on the front line.

pandabob said...

There seems to be an outbreak of the A word in your household!!

The job sounds brilliant, I really hope it can all be fitted together and that you can get some of the 'excitement' of medicine into your life while still being able to do all you want for the boys :-)

John H. D. Watson said...

L - relative to Sherlock?

Anonybob - not the entire household, just in me. Sometimes nothing else will do.

REReader said...

I really hope that the scheduling is flexible enough to make it work, because it sounds like it would really be a good fit for you, John. And Sherlock would have a second source of crime-based bedtime stories!

pandabob said...

I refer you Greg's blog September 12th ;-)

It's a good word in the right context that's for sure :-)

Sherlock said...

I want to see an elephant.

REReader said...

(For the record? It's not arrogant to know what you're good at. It's IMPORTANT to know what you're good at.)

REReader said...

Why an elephant, Sherlock?

John H. D. Watson said...

At the zoo? We're not going to Africa any time soon.

Anonymous said...

Do you need to see an elephant up close or can you just look for a zoo webcam that might do?

And do you want to seen an African elephant or an Asian elephant?

rsf

Sherlock said...

Just an elephant I've never seen one. I hoped they might have one where we went in Ireland and they didn't and I'd like to see one now.

John H. D. Watson said...

We can go to the zoo after school one day this week if you want to?

REReader said...

That's a good reason! I imagine a zoo in your general vicinity should have some elephants.

pandabob said...

I love your love of animals Sherlock, my short one wants to see a tiger but I've no idea where I could take her to see one!

The zoo sounds like a lovely trip for you and John :-)

Sherlock said...

Yeah! We should go definitely when?

Anonymous said...

Elephants are really quite interesting to watch. I think you'll have fun when you go to see one in person. Did you know that some elephants like to paint pictures?

rsf

John H. D. Watson said...

Wednesday?

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah!

Greg Lestrade said...

...as excited as I would be if I were going to the zoo, that was actually Sherlock.

John H. D. Watson said...

Heh. Are you off at all this week? You could come to the zoo with us...

Anonymous said...

Pandabob, what you want is the South lakes wild animal park: http://www.wildanimalpark.co.uk/

They are very big on tigers there and also like the place that Sherlock went for his birthday a lot of the animals are wandering pretty loose. It's where I saw the gibbon family.

John, I think that REReader has it right, it is important to be as honest about things you're good at as it is things that you find difficult.

Lancs. Anon

Greg Lestrade said...

I should be. Sorry, I know I've been slipping back to working 5 days again, and not taking time off for you and the boys. I'll try and work it out to get a few weekdays off this week.

John H. D. Watson said...

It's all right, I know you've had a lot to catch up on. If you want to come along, we'll wait to set a day for it.

REReader said...

A trip to the zoo is a nice thing to have to look forward to--enjoy!

And before I disappear for a couple of days--tonight is the beginning of Sukkot! There's no particular food associated with it, so have a video: http://youtu.be/oXx5Wp3GcSE

Greg Lestrade said...

That'd be nice. I'll work out a schedule tomorrow.

pandabob said...

Thanks Lancs I'll have a look.

I hope you can arrange things to get to the zoo altogether gentlemen :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Wow, just noticed Europe won the Ryder cup. I'm not a golf fan, but they were 10-6 down this morning, and have come back to 13.5-14.5 to win. That's some turnaround.

Desert Wanderer said...

Europe won? God, that means everyone at work is going to be unbearable. The boss has caught the golf bug which means everyone and their fish is going to be coming in to talk about it. Maybe I can charge admission...

Doc, good luck with the FME. It sounds like something to keep your mind engaged as well as just your hands, which is always a plus.

Greg Lestrade said...

DW - may you get through the day without too many annoying golf-nuts.

I'll be putting up with certain members of my dept. acting as if they won it themselves...

Anon Without A Name said...

John - echoing comments about it not being arrogance. It's important not just to know what you're good at, but also what works for you (not always the same thing).

I can understand the reservations that both you and Lestrade have, and I think it's a good sign that you're both very aware of the issues before you start; especially since having both of you dealing with some very difficult situations means both of you putting in extra effort to keep home life for the boys as unaffected as possible. I have no doubt at all that you're both more than capable of that.

I hope that between you, Mrs H and the Met, you're able to sort something out that works for all of you.

Have a good week all; and enjoy the elephants :-)

Small Hobbit said...

The nursing side of the family inform me that all doctors are indeed arrogant arses, so it's nothing personal. Although knowing what you are better suited to is a sensible way forward. Some doctors are happy with being GPs, whereas we all know that you are Danger Doc, the all action medical man.

Hope you all have a good week. If there are any spare elephants I have a few people they could sit on for me.

Anonymous said...

Did they tell elephant jokes over there, Lestrade? Because I am having a great deal of trouble resisting temptation here...

rsf

Greg Lestrade said...

Elephant jokes... Not specifically, I don't think...

Danger, I can get Thursday and Friday off, I think, barring anything happening that causes a panic.

You about at the moment? I feel like crap.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm sorry, love. In what way like crap?

Thursday and Friday should be good.

Greg Lestrade said...

Headache. Bit shaky feeling. Bit sweaty. Which sounds really attractive.

John H. D. Watson said...

That doesn't sound like fun. Do you want me to stop by? And did you take something for your head?

decaffeinated anon said...

Sounds like caffeine withdrawal kicking in. Having gone through the same thing recently I'd recommend strong painkillers and an early night! Hope you feel better soon.

Desert Wanderer said...

Actually ended up not going in today, Lestrade, so I've avoided the golf nuts. :). Hope you're feeling better soon. <3

Greg Lestrade said...

Took a couple of ibuprofen off Sal. Bit busy, but of you're passing i wouldn't say no. Although It's a bit late now, I guess.

Decaff anon - I drink normal coffee in the mornings though, so had a couple of mugs before I felt like this. I only go decaff in the afternoon.

DW - hope you're okay if you're not at work?

John H. D. Watson said...

I'll have Sherlock with me if I come now, or I can drop him at home with Mrs Hudson first if you're not up to that level of volume?

I feel like golf fanatics should be an oxymoron or something.

Decaff anon said...

Hm, those did sound like classic withdrawal symptoms, but perhaps I'm projecting a bit! Probably best to consult your doctor ;-)

Desert Wanderer said...

Waiting for my father to get out of surgery, Lestrade. Nothing serious.

Hope the ibuprofen helps. If not, I hear cuddles with doctors are clinically proven to improve heath by a factor of six billion.

John H. D. Watson said...

DW - best wishes to you and your family. I hope it all goes smoothly and he recovers quickly.

Greg Lestrade said...

Decaff anon - yeah, classic symptoms of withdrawal and overdose, but I don't think I have either.

Doc, dont worry, I'll try to get away early.

DW - hope he's okay and has a smooth recovery.

Sherlock said...

Why can't you have Wednesday off or sooner I want to go to the zoooooooo.

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm sorry, kiddo, but people have other commitments and court and things. We'll go Thursday, okay?

John H. D. Watson said...

Any chance you could leave a little early? You really did look slightly gray. Below the hair line, I mean. I can make dinner.

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, just wrapping up now. I'll bring the rest home.

Feeling better after second dose of pills. Want anything?

John H. D. Watson said...

No, we've got everything I think. And blackberry tart for dessert.

pandabob said...

I'm glad you're heading home Greg :-)

Its good to hear you feel better and hope you feel back to normal ASAP

Greg Lestrade said...

Thanks AnonyBob, feeling lots better. Don't know what was up with me.

Of course, that all could change again if John's cooking ;)

John H. D. Watson said...

Apparently the tart's all right. Sherlock snuck a bit when I want looking.

Greg Lestrade said...

Well he's being a super sleuth now, looking at some of the CCTV from when I think those photos were taken on my laptop. He's taking it very seriously, and s grumpy he can't have a police radio to call in requests for information.

John H. D. Watson said...

I hope he sees something.

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, be nice. But I have looked through it all... still, it's the longest he's been still for for a while. Although not quiet. He's very critical of what people get up to, minding their own business on the street...

John H. D. Watson said...

If it's anything like what I hear on the way home from school, I can imagine. And if you can pry him away from it, dinner's ready.

Sherlock said...

I can eat and look!

John H. D. Watson said...

You can, but you may not. No computers at dinner. Come on. You can finish afterward.

Sherlock said...

If I miss the most important bit of evidence because you made me break my concentration when I had a whole spare hand from mouse clicking for holding my fork then it'll be all your fault! Mrs N says it's important to concentrate. What's for dinner?

John H. D. Watson said...

I have every faith in your ability to concentrate after dinner. It's that beef and broccoli thing with coconut rice. Doesn't exactly go with blackberry tart, but at least I know I haven't messed it up.

Greg Lestrade said...

You haven't messed it up, and Sherlock's deemed it good enough to give up his crime-fighting and do some hunger-fighting :)

John H. D. Watson said...

Excellent. You all better now? You look better.

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah. Dunno what was up with me.

Want to watch the Red Bull X fighters later? I don't think Sherlock should watch it, unless London's A&E units want extra work.

For those of you who haven't seen it before:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DXK17CE5fc

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah, all right. Looks impressive and slightly terrifying!

Sherlock said...

If I can't look at the computer while I'm eating you two shouldn't be allowed to post comments either! And I want to see that!

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm sure John will punish me later, Sherlock.

And we'll watch it first, and then if we think it's okay, you can see some. No arguments. Arguments guarantee you won't be allowed to see it.

Danger - looks like my dream job as a teenager. If it had existed back then we could've met much earlier, when you treated my broken, mashed up body.

Anonymous said...

Sherlock, I'm glad you're having a chance to look at the CCTV pictures before you go to the zoo. That way if you see someone who looks familiar, you can take a picture with them in it somewhere and then go back and check the CCTV against the picture for evidence.

I'm also glad you stopped to eat, though, because for things that take good concentration, multi-tasking doesn't really work. They've even shown it's true with brain scans and things.

rsf

Small Hobbit said...

I have to admit that there are a number of times when I have fed my laptop as well as myself when I've been eating and looking at stuff.

DW - possibly a bit late now, but hope all goes well for your father.

Sherlock said...

I'm looking again now!

Desert Wanderer said...

Everything turned out well, he's just come out. Thanks for the well wishes, guys.

RSF, I wouldn't have thought of using the zoo as a cover to take pictures of bad guys. Are you actually James Bond?!

Sherlock, what kinds of things are you noticing about people in the pictures? Have you found any trends?

Ttid said...

Good luck with that Sherlock. Don't forget to enjoy the animals at the zoo though not just be a kiddy-copper.

pandabob said...

I'm glad you're getting to help Sherlock I know you've really wanted to :-)


I hope you still feel well even after dinner Greg ;-)

Have a lovely rest of evening.

Sherlock said...

Lestrade took away his laptop and put it on top of the kitchen cupboard where even John can't reach because he says I have to go to bed but it's more important to find the criminal and I don't want to go to bed!

pandabob said...

tired eyes don't see as much as well slept eyes Sherlock.

Sleep well and re focus tomorrow :-)

(you're a bit young for short jokes at the doc's expense you know! ;-) )

John H. D. Watson said...

Unfortunately, that is actually true. But I can see L's pushed it so far back he won't be able to retrieve it without climbing on the countertop, which should be interesting first thing in the morning.

Greg Lestrade said...

Happily, though, you and 'first thing in the morning' have long been strangers, so I can retrieve it in peace.

Unless Sherlock waits for it to be in my grasp, shoots me with a quickly-fashioned bow-and-arrow and grabs it from my hand as I fall...

But I hope that would wake you up. (Me hitting the floor, or Sherlock's squeals of glee.)

John H. D. Watson said...

I'll get up early to observe the drama and patch up the wounded. You want to watch that motorcycle thing now?

Greg Lestrade said...

Believe it when I see it, sleepy.

Yeah, definitely. Getting ready to try some tricks out when we go back to the off-road bike place :)

John H. D. Watson said...

...I will observe the drama and patch up the wounded...

Greg Lestrade said...

Mmmm...when I was younger I could do some of this stuff. Sort of. With smaller jumps, because we made them ourselves. But still, the spirit was the same!

Small Hobbit said...

As presumably were the bruises?

Greg Lestrade said...

Some of the bruises had bruises...

Glad to say retrieving my laptop led to no injury or near death. And John failed to get out of bed to witness it.

pandabob said...

It sounds like you've found the perfect hiding place for your secret sweet stash ;-)

Hows the day treating you? I hope its going ok :-)

Desert Wanderer said...

I was thinking about the difference between arrogance and confidence today. Arrogance is thinking you're better than someone else at something. Confidence is thinking you're better than yourself. That is, one is an internal valuation of your strengths (and weaknesses) and the other is a valuation of someone else's.

I don't know if that makes sense, let alone helps, but I thought I'd throw it out there for discussion.

Greg Lestrade said...

Good way of putting it, DW.

My day is okay, thanks Anony. Can't help but think about that poor family who's little girl has been abducted. just can't imagine what we'd do if anything happened to either of the boys. It's a horrific situation.

How's all your days going?

Anonymous said...

I started a new job yesterday, as a receptionist in a small surgery. I'm loving it so far! I hope everyone else is doing well, and that your day continues to be good L. DW, I hope your dad is all right.

John, I hope that things are able to be worked out for the FME. I think you would be really good at it, and even if it would be difficult at times, I think you would enjoy it as well.

Sherlock, I hope you're enjoying school. Are you going to keep watching video when you get home?

Mycroft, I hope school is going well.

Greg Lestrade said...

Congrats on the new job, Piplover. Hope it continues to be enjoyable.

Anon Without A Name said...

Congrats on the new job, Pip :-)

DW - glad to hear your Dad came through his surgery OK, hope he recovers smoothly and swiftly.

Lestrade - that family must be going through hell :-(

Also, Jimmy Saville, WTF?

Ttid said...

I'm sure no one can imagine losing there kids until it happens, Greg

Small Hobbit said...

Yes, Pip, congratulations and glad it's going well.

It's a horrific situation, it's hard to imagine just what the family are going through.

I spent the afternoon doing fire warden training. My annual chance to play with fire extinguishers.

Desert Wanderer said...

Congrats, Pip!

I just found out I'm to be my boss's chauffeur up to DC for three days. The worst part is that having him in the car means strict adherence to the speed limit. :(

Errr, not that I usually speed, mind you...

pandabob said...

Congrats pip :-) glad its going well for you.

I was certainly happy to have my little girl back with me after school Greg its a horrible thing for anyone to go through!

DW glad all is well :-)

I hope everyone has a nice relaxing evening

Greg Lestrade said...

Ttid - no, which is probably lucky, or we'd never let them out of our sight.

DW - No, I bet you only break the limit once per journey...

Hope it's not too terrible. Try to get him playing Yellow Car.

AnonyBob - it certainly is. I've worked on too many cases like this one. I hope this has a happier ending than many.

pandabob said...

How's the evening gents? Hope its relaxing :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, fairly. Sherlock took over my computer for more crime fighting (and general complaint about stupid people.) I cooked. Called Mycroft to see how he was (fine) and had a bath (John scrubbed my back).

pandabob said...

Sounds almost perfect. I'm glad you've all had time to relax :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, doesn't feel like it happens often!

Sherlock is grumpy he hasn't found the bad guy or gal yet.

pandabob said...

He really wants to help and I hope at some point he manages to do something that gives him that useful feeling :-)

Have a good rest me evening I'm about to commence a late night road trip! ;-)

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