Tuesday, July 15, 2014

cucumbers and cats


Cucumber: the first of many. There are a million flowers and quite a few tiny cucumbers as well. This is the first moderately full sized one. Sherlock picked it and did not heed any warnings from me or Mycroft about the prickles all over it. He took them personally. I've seldom seen anyone that annoyed with a plant.

Also, L sent me this...



It's a book...of newspaper articles...about cats that hate cops. I think he's trying to say something about Maf. It's a weak case, considering how often she sleeps on his shoulder while he sits on the sofa. She's cleaning the top of his ear right now, and he's poking her every few seconds before it tickles, but she's determined.

She's doing all right with the dogs - holding her own. Using them as transport and things to jump off of in order to get onto the kitchen counter or the top of the table. I'm waiting for she and the dogs to start working in concert. With her brains and their brawn, I think they could get the fridge open. Then we'll really be in trouble. 

92 comments:

Greg Lestrade said...

keep telling you, it's all part of her plan to lull us into thinking she's just a cute innocent little furball.

John H. D. Watson said...

I think it's working, in that case.

Greg Lestrade said...

She's very nearly too big to fit on my shoulder. She now slides and anchors herself into me with claws.

Just saying though, someone wrote a book about it, so it's not like I'm making all this stuff up! Cats have it in for cops.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm sure she'll make an exception for you.

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm just trying to find the sister publication 'cats love docs'.

You taking Sherlock swimming tomorrow? He seems like he may explode soon if not exposed to large quantities of water.

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah, I think so. He threatened to develop gills earlier and 'then you'll HAVE to take me'.

Anon Without A Name said...

I'm jealous of your cucumber... if you know what I mean.

Greg Lestrade said...

Oh, we do Nameless, we do ;)

Gills, eh?

Hey, I found out more about Sal's date...not Murray, but not so far off....

John H. D. Watson said...

Nameless - I think we do...

L - oh?

Greg Lestrade said...

One of the paramedics who helped me the other night.

It was clearly all worth it, if my suffering brings a touch of happiness to her love-life.

John H. D. Watson said...

Ha! Well done, Sally. Did she say how the date went?

Greg Lestrade said...

She was being quite ridiculously coy. But they're arranging another date, so it can't have been too bad!

Greg Lestrade said...

Normally, I hasten to add, I wouldn't be that interested in the private lives of my staff! But when I started seeing you she virtually had me in interrogation for details, so y'know, turnabout is fair play.

John H. D. Watson said...

What did you tell her?

Greg Lestrade said...

She probably drugged my coffee and got every detail...

She was just very astute at spotting when I bought in a bag of spare clothes, or when she casually offered to walk to the tube and I wasn't getting it...all that. So...then she' just ask loads of stuff. Some of which I answered.

John H. D. Watson said...

Heh. Well, she is a detective.

Greg Lestrade said...

Mmm...one who had no idea I'd been married to a man since she met me...and assumed you were a lovely girl :)

John H. D. Watson said...

Ha. I forgot about that part.

Greg Lestrade said...

Do we know who Sherlock's new teacher will be this time around? He certainly doesn't seem nearly as bothered by it as when he left Mrs T's class.

Is he now aware he's bled Mrs N dry of information, and is willing to throw the husk of her brain aside for a new juicy big-class brain?

John H. D. Watson said...

The new classroom has a reading loft, he tells me. I think that has a lot to do with it.

Greg Lestrade said...

In reading terms, is a loft far superior to a corner, then? I'm not expert on reading, let alone the environs it's best accomplished in.

John H. D. Watson said...

I think it's the lack of adult supervision in the loft.

Greg Lestrade said...

And they still expect the school to be standing by the time he leaves??

Look at the time...you two murderous beasties want to take me to bed?

John H. D. Watson said...

Very much, yes.

Anonymous said...

Maf is no doubt amused by this endless speculation as to her plans. Probably she is already capable of directing the dogs, but is not going to lower herself to it unless it is truly necessary.

I'd suspect your strenuously acquired and by that time habitual discretion, rather than her lack of detective skills, for not realizing John's gender till she met him, L.

And don't torture the poor woman too much. You'd been seeing each other for - weeks? a month? or more before she started in. Let her breathe a bit.

Have a good day swimming, working, or whatever it brings.

fA

Anonymous said...

"her" and "she" in the middle paragraphs above meaning Sally, not Maf, of course.

fA

pandabob said...

I'm impressed by all the things you're managing to grow on your allotment!, home grown food is so much more tasty than shop bought :-)

I hope you all have a great day, I'm off to my eldest's first violin concert this morning, she's very very nervous!

Small Hobbit said...

Hope the concert goes well AnonyBob. The first of many I hope.

pandabob said...

Thanks SH she was brilliant (I probably shouldn't say that about my own kid but for only six weeks of lessons she really was) there were lots of other kids playing as well and some of the year 6 ones were truly amazing :-)

How goes the weather down there gentlemen? It's beginning to look a bit like thunder up here!

Greg Lestrade said...

Glad it went well, Anony!

It's absolutely boiling here. I ran in, which meant I arrived as a walking pool of sweat.

pandabob said...

Running in this weather shows a commitment to training that is far above anything that could be expected of you ;-)

I hope you made use of the shower although if you didn't at least people will leave you alone today ;-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Don't worry, I was we'll showered and smelling sweet before anyone was too near me!

Kestrel337 said...

AnonyBob: I am always amazed at how fast the kids progress from such a few weeks of lessons. And also reminded that my two 'bandys' haven't touched their horns since early June and will have completely lost their lips.

Lestrade, I am also impressed by your dedication to training. I'm rebooting yet again. I'd defend myself, but it's all just excuses really.

Anonymous said...

Re: Parrot: or, as happens on the Internet, is it a hoax and not there at all? (Suspicious mind I've got.)

fA

REReader said...

Ha! Either way, fA, thanks for the EX-PARROT!

Anonymous said...

Dear lord today's gotten busy. (I needed to whine.)

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah. Sorry I'm so late, John. Hope you and Sherlock had a nice swim.

Can we just order in pizza or something?

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah, of course. Everything all right?

Greg Lestrade said...

Not the best it's ever been. You had a good day?

I should be out of here shortly.

John H. D. Watson said...

All right. Tell me about it when you get home? We'll get pizza and garlic bread.

The day wasn't bad. There was a lot of swimming. I'm exhausted and probably smell of chlorine, despite the shower. Sherlock has more energy than ten elephants still, of course.

Greg Lestrade said...

I like you whatever you smell of.

Just leaving.

My date from the other night didn't answer bail today. They're looking for him.

REReader said...

That's enough to make it a not-good day, right there. Hope your evening makes up for it, L.

"A lot of swimming" sounds like a perfect summer afternoon from where I'm standing!

Sherlock said...

I held my breath underwater forever earlier as long as a crocodile definitely.

REReader said...

My goodness, that's impressive, Sherlock! Did you have fun (even when you weren't holding your breath)?

John H. D. Watson said...

L - Oh dear. That's not good.

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah. I'm sure they'll find him. Just... yeah, well, rather it wasn't happening.

Greg Lestrade said...

(Sherlock has, obviously, told me he will track down the man and make him face justice.)

Sherlock said...

I would!

pandabob said...

i think we'd all volunteer for that search Greg!!

sorry things are not good.

Greg Lestrade said...

I know you would, kiddo.

Can we go and live here?

http://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/33606818

John H. D. Watson said...

Looks good to me.

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, me too. And cheap. Although there is a bit of work to be done on it...

John H. D. Watson said...

Just a bit. I'm sure we'd have it fixed up in no time. Great address...

Greg Lestrade said...

And we'd probably get paid some sort of service charge by the government for keeping Sherlock off mainland Britain for over half the time... until he figured out how to escape.

John H. D. Watson said...

The perfect solution. Provided they don't maroon us there and surround the place with helicopters.

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, helicopters are noisy.

I'll just go for the marooning, no added helicopters, please.

Anonymous said...

Hope the slimy low life is brought in soon. Hope the two of you get to bed sooner, it sounds like it's been a tiring day. And tomorrow starts in mere hours!

Nothing going on here but work, so let us know if you have any interesting experiences Thursday or Friday, Sherlock.

fA

Greg Lestrade said...

Well, on the positive, the bartender put in a guilty plea - although we think that might have something to do with the other guy doing a runner, if he knew his 'friend' was going to grass him up.

Sherlock was talking about sailing earlier...maybe he'd already seen that property for sale ;)

John H. D. Watson said...

Well...I hope he's as stupid as some of the other people you've arrested and that he slips up and gets caught soon.

If he grows gills, he won't need to sail.

Greg Lestrade said...

True. I think he was saying they're going to have some sort of...activities? at the end of term. Or maybe there's a choice...or maybe he wants there to be a choice. I don't know. Anyway, he said ice skating was boring and he wanted to go sailing. But I've no idea if it's an available option.

He did ask me yesterday what would happen if he jumped into the river and swam. I told him he'd make the Met very angry, especially if they had to jump in after him.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'll keep a closer eye on him when we're near the river...

Greg Lestrade said...

I'd like to think I put him off enough. But I'm probably wrong.

You can swim in it upstream. Maybe we should go sometime.

John H. D. Watson said...

That'd be nice. And there was somewhere we were going to take him swimming that he had to be eight years old for, wasn't there? I forget where though.

Greg Lestrade said...

Hampstead Heath ponds. And yeah, we should all go.

John H. D. Watson said...

That's right! Yes, we should do that.

Greg Lestrade said...

fA - the parrot, I meant to say earlier, is definitely there. Not a hoax. Just like the dead whale was at Greenwich and other things come and go from parks at will. (Especially very very expensive bits of public art.)

Becca said...

I've had a bit of an eventful last few days, unfortunately. My dad had complications from his gallbladder surgery, and had an emergency endoscopy yesterday to remove extra gallstones that were wandering around. And then, just an hour after he got home from that, he was in a lot of pain and it turned out he'd developed acute pancreatitis from the endoscopy. Off to the ER we went, and he got admitted overnight. He's back now, and in good spirits. We're having a Hobbit marathon while he rests on the couch.

So fingers crossed this is the last of the major worries from his surgery. Still wish he hadn't had to go through all this.

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm glad he's home now, Becca. I hope the rest of his recovery is peaceful and uneventful! Hope you're doing okay, too. It's very hard seeing the ones we love like that, when we can't really help.

Small Hobbit said...

Becca, that sounds much too eventful. Best wishes to you and your dad and hope he has a speedy recovery.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm glad he's home now and hope he continues to improve. Remember to take care of yourself too, all right? As L said, it's a hard situation to be in.

Becca said...

Thanks guys,

It was a tough couple of days, but I'm hopeful. And sitting on him at times to make him rest. :)

Anonymous said...

That's a nice little fixer upper you found, Lestrade. If I help you fix it up, can I live in a corner of it? I don't eat much.

I hope your dad gets better, Becca.

Ella

Anonymous said...

Whoa, Becca. Too eventful! I hope your dad is going to have a nice peaceful recovery from here on out. I'll echo John - don't forget to take care of yourself. You know - sleep, not too much time on your feet, eat decently, do your therapy exercises if you've got them. In your vast spare time. (Too much mom-nagging, but I felt compelled.)

Thanks, L. for telling me about the parrot that has ceased to be. The parrot that is no more.

fA

Greg Lestrade said...

Norman Baker showing the government is in touch with reality today....not.

pandabob said...

All that money spent on politicians education and they still end up stupider than a four year old!!

Anonymous said...

You know, I just read the article posted from the cats hate cops book, I don't think you can fault the cats' view of things if you read that!

Greg Lestrade said...

I haven't read the article. Wouldn't do to have a balanced view of things when i'm trying to prove a point ;)

Lancs. Anon said...

Well, don't, it was a really sad story :(

Greg Lestrade said...

In happier news they caught my missing date. He is now on his way to be remanded.

REReader said...

Yay! Very good news, L.

Hope your father recovers well and smoothly now, Becca. (I'm having to sit on my mom, too--she prefers scooting around trying to do everything to sitting with her foot up relaxing, the way her surgeon told her!)

pandabob said...

That's great news Greg, I hope you feel a little more relaxed now :-)

Anonymous said...

Yay for smart policing and/or stupid criminals.

Good luck to you, as well, RR, with tending your mom. I've been there! Shouldn't talk, though, I'm pretty sure I'll be just as poor a patient when my time comes around.

Back to the salt mines. Which aren't too bad but they sure are busy this week.

fA

REReader said...

fA--I'm quite sure I'll be every bit as bad myself. :)

Greg Lestrade said...

I think I might shave all my hair off again. (all within reason. I know what you're thinking.)

Meanwhile, my husband is still wearing trousers. (As opposed to shorts. Not because I'm trying to get him out ofhis clothing. Although I am.) So is Mycroft. Sherlock and I are both rocking the shorts. His are tartan. Mine are....biscuit, I shall call them.

REReader said...

Summery weather over there?

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, mid-high twenties today. Low-mid 30s tomorrow, very sticky in the city, been getting steadily warmer all week. No breeze really, so it's starting to get a bit too pollution-y too.

Hopefully there'll be an almighty storm soon.

Thoughts going out to everyone who's lost loved ones on the Malaysian plane, and the French train crash today.

REReader said...

*does some arithmetic* *gets confused* *does some more arithmetic*

Mid-30s would definitely qualify as "hot" almost anywhere. Hope it cools down for you pretty soon.

John H. D. Watson said...

It's a bit warm.

Kestrel337 said...

It took me a minute, but I think I understand now. John and Mycroft are wearing trousers. Sherlock and Lestrade are wearing shorts, and think John should be wearing shorts too.

Mycroft is probably not trying to get John out of his trousers. Don't mock me, parentheses are hard.

Kestrel337 said...

oh...Mycroft, please don't send Anthea after me. I didn't mean to offend.

*hides under dining room table*

Small Hobbit said...

Do the shorts ressemble jammy dodgers or pink wafers, L?

Greg Lestrade said...

Hobnobs, I assure you, SH ;)

Kestrel - I just can't believe anyone isn't wearing shorts! (Apart from Mycroft. I can believe that.)

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