in the electric dusk

Here, have a small frog. The pond at Sherlock's school is full of them, in varying sizes from about half the size of this one to two or three times his size. Or her size. I have no idea how to tell male frogs from female frogs.

canal ride

We took a bike ride today (bicycles, not motorbikes). We went to the canal, which was a pretty long ride for Sherlock, maybe the longest he's done. You can tell he's getting bigger and stronger though. He wasn't nearly as exhausted as we had feared/hoped. It was a beautiful day and a beautiful place:

We bought sandwiches and things and eat in the grass by the water. It was strange not to have Mycroft and the dogs with us. I missed him a lot today. He would've had a good time. And, obviously, the dogs would've loved it. They also probably would have jumped in the water and then shaken it off all over us, which I didn't mind missing.

Also, Sherlock would like to remind you, me, L, Mycroft, Mrs Hudson, and the world at large that his birthday is coming up. 

honeymoon

Mycroft is back at school on Tuesday, Sherlock shortly thereafter. We've been talking about the honeymoon a bit, with Sherlock ruling out places that are too nice and interesting for us to go without him. I was thinking about trying to see the aurora borealis, but, apart from it being a fairly long way if we want to ride the bikes, I think Sherlock and Mycroft both might be a bit cranky if we went to see those without them.

It is a good year for it though, apparently. I read that it peaks on an 11 year cycle, and the peak is either this year or last year, depending on which article you read. September and March are supposed to be the best times. You can stay in a glass igloo if you want to:

Anyhow, more realistically, L mentioned Prague last night, and I was looking at Lugano, in the Switzerland, which seems like a nice place, but there are about a thousand other places that would be good too, I'm sure - if anyone has suggestions, let us know?

Editing in this pic of Sherlock's cake - it's delicious :)

tiny frog

Or possibly toad. We found it on our walk today. Sherlock was delighted, but seems to have got over the urgent need to take every bit of wildlife we find home with him, which is a relief. He still asked, but didn't seem too disappointed when we said no. 

Back to normal tomorrow. Maybe then I'll be able to sort out the day in my head. Right now, it's still a sort of happy haze.

tomorrow

Well. We're getting married tomorrow.

The dogs are washed. Our suits are set out. Family is trickling into town. Murray probably has the rings. It's all beginning to seem almost real...

L's going out tonight with Sherlock. I'm going out with Nicky. Mycroft and Carla have some undisclosed plans. It will be a busy night. Just as well. Maybe it'll keep me from being too nervous/excited/unable to think of anything else. I hope I'm not too boring tonight, Nicky. ;) 

days in the sun

All of us went to visit Steve's grave today. We stopped for flowers on the way there. Sherlock usually has a multitude of opinions on picking out flowers, but this time sulked as far away from us as he could get without actually leaving the shop.

It was the same when we got to the cemetery. He doesn't like the idea that Lestrade and Steve might've ended up together and that, therefore, the four of us...wouldn't. It's understandable. I won't say I didn't feel a little odd being there myself. Simultaneously sorry I'll never meet him, because he meant so much to L, combined with the knowledge that if he were alive, my chances of meeting him through L would be slim to nonexistent.

Sherlock actually wanted me to pick him up, which he hardly ever does anymore. I managed it for about two minutes, and I can still feel it in my bad shoulder, even thought I wasn't using that arm. Might have to be the last time, but I always say that, don't I? And then he got down to kick the heads off dandelions.

two good things

1. Murray won - barely, he was two sets down against Verdasco of all people, not that he's bad, just that he hasn't historically be this good at Wimbledon. Anyhow, Murray's through the semis.

2. Our rings arrived today! I waited (again, barely) until L got home to open the parcel, even with Sherlock circling it like a shark eyeing an unwary swimmer with a bleeding head wound. He doesn't like unopened parcels, even when he knows for a fact that they have nothing exciting inside, and of course this one had something very exciting inside. Mycroft was very helpful in distracting him, although I caught him eyeing the box too. We were all pleased when L got home.

They look amazing. Well. They look pretty plain, I suppose, compared to some. But I love them, and of course it's impossible to see them objectively. I see them for what they mean rather than what they are, and yeah...amazing. 

rings

Last night, we bought wedding bands. I'm not sure which version that's linking to, but we got the platinum ones. I really like them - nice and simple. And the thing I like best about them is that we've actually bought them and they're on their way here. It makes it seem more real - even more so than picking the place, somehow, for me at least.

Mycroft approves. Sherlock thinks they should be more sparkly, but then he reconsidered, because we both have to wear gloves for work a lot, and sparkly things might rip the gloves. Very practical.

Today was lovely. Really peaceful. Nice long walk, lunch in the park, more than usually successful attempts to distract L from the paperwork he knows is piling up while he's away...

And here is some amazing origami:

pretty much just pictures

I'm sure I had things to say, but then it got late and I should be in bed already... Here are some pictures of the blueberry bush and its pot:

The rocks at the bottom are to help drainage. 

And here's the actual blueberry bush. It's a kind that grows pink blueberries. Sherlock was entranced by the idea, and it sounds like it'll look nice in winter - yellow stems. 

And...I've been thinking about this for quite a while and I suppose I'll just say it and hope it comes out right. I never really understood before why people whose partners or spouses were hurting them wouldn't just...leave. I mean, I understood intellectually that there could be practical or financial reasons, but I never understood emotionally why someone would choose to stay if they didn't have to. 

Maybe that's a failure of imagination on my part, because it took having my life and heart so thoroughly entwined with L's to realise exactly how horribly wrenching it could be leave someone you love, or even used to love, or still want to love. And that sounds like I'm...comparing him to Bryan or something, which is awful and not what I mean at all and why I hesitated to try to say this. I suppose I just mean...you can't stop loving someone like flipping a switch, and the visceral realisation of that has made me see things differently. I suspect it's fairly obvious to people who aren't me, but I've led quite a solitary life up to now, emotionally speaking. Anyway. That's all. Good night. 

hungry like the wolf

I've been ordered upstairs to bed while L prepares something for tomorrow morning, so I'll just take this opportunity to say briefly how wonderful he is and how much I love him. And how...constantly amazed I am at my good fortune.

And I'll also post this, just in case Sherlock needs something else to occupy himself with in the morning, or more to the point, in case Mycroft and Anthea need help occupying him. The youtube channel belongs to someone who works at a natural history museum in Montana and this is the first in a series of videos in which they acquire a wolf that was hit by a car and prepare it for...display, presumably, but I haven't watched that far yet.

All this one has is a dead wolf, but the subsequent episodes are more graphic, so proceed with caution. Eventually, I believe, there will be flesh-eating beetles involved. You're welcome, Sherlock.

barbican

We went to the Barbican conservatory today. It was much nicer in there than it was outside. Parts of it looked like the aftermath of an apocalypse...in some more temperate country than ours.

Zombies not included, although Sherlock hid in the foliage and groaned for a while in an attempt to convince us otherwise. 

Orchids. I can't remember what kind, but they're lovely, aren't they? Made a nice change from the grey brown outside. 

Speaking of outside... 

You can picture Sherlock tearing around this very cold lake, right on the edge, despite being repeatedly told not to. I don't think even he wanted to fall in today though. Tiny bits of snow, vicious wind. Hard to believe it's almost April. 

Mycroft's guessed where L's taking us all for my birthday. He says it's obvious, given what Lestrade's said about it. I think he must mean obvious if you're a genius...or possibly obvious if you're a teenage genius, since Sherlock hasn't got it either and it's driving him mad. If he does get it, I'll be the only one in the dark, but that's all right. I'm not generally that fond of surprises, but I like all of L's, so I can wait. Probably. 

I'm so glad L's home this week. And not just because his cough still sounds like a seal. Or an asthmatic swan. Or some other animal that needs medical attention. It's nice to have him around during the day. 

late night tea

We're both unable to sleep at the same time for once. Makes a nice change, having company. Except for knowing we'll both be tired tomorrow instead of just one of us. I was asleep for a bit at least, dreaming about being in a helicopter, going over endless dry dirt, no rivers, no trees, no people or animals. Just dirt and dust and empty trucks stopped dead in the middle of dirt roads. I think I'd rather be awake.

L's doing paperwork and had half a folder spread out over my leg so when I woke up I caused a small paper avalanche. Left him to clean it up while I made tea. So now we're awake in the middle of the night with tea which is, in my opinion, better than without, and with chocolate biscuits, autopsy reports, and crime scene photos. Sherlock would love it.

Sometimes life produces moments that are so unexpectedly nice that I find them almost shocking. I'd never have thought, before I met L, that insomnia and paperwork - even someone else's - could be combine into anything better than mild irritation. But, shared with him (and tea), it turns into something different. Contentment maybe. That's a good word.

I'm still not used to it. Maybe I never will be.