Hello, this is Mycroft.
John and I went to this museum of surgery today. They have an operating theatre from the 1800s, with tiered standing room all around it so students could come and watch the operations. We came up this spiral staircase:
It was so narrow that if someone was going down when you were going up, one of you would have to back up. There was no room to pass. There was no railing either, just that rope. Patients came up via a hoist in the women's surgical ward. I'm surprised they didn't get more patients due to injury on those stairs.
They also had a skull made out of old surgical instruments:
Some of them must've been melted down though because I don't think they used little metal skulls in surgery. The inscription over the door is Miseratione Non Mercede, which means 'for compassion, not for reward', but there was a girl a little older than Sherlock who asked her mother if it meant 'misery, not mercy'. That would also be apt, in a way, since they didn't use anaesthetics. To be really merciful, they had to be fast, and so they probably couldn't think about the patient's comfort until it was over.
John told me a story about a man in Antarctica who removed his own appendix. He was the only doctor there, so he was the only one who knew how to do it. He had local anaesthetic, of course, because it was the 1960s and not the 1800s, but even so I think it must've hurt. He had to do it while looking in a mirror, too, so he could lie down.
We got Sherlock a life-sized plastic skull from the gift shop. It even has removable teeth.
John and I went to this museum of surgery today. They have an operating theatre from the 1800s, with tiered standing room all around it so students could come and watch the operations. We came up this spiral staircase:
It was so narrow that if someone was going down when you were going up, one of you would have to back up. There was no room to pass. There was no railing either, just that rope. Patients came up via a hoist in the women's surgical ward. I'm surprised they didn't get more patients due to injury on those stairs.
They also had a skull made out of old surgical instruments:
Some of them must've been melted down though because I don't think they used little metal skulls in surgery. The inscription over the door is Miseratione Non Mercede, which means 'for compassion, not for reward', but there was a girl a little older than Sherlock who asked her mother if it meant 'misery, not mercy'. That would also be apt, in a way, since they didn't use anaesthetics. To be really merciful, they had to be fast, and so they probably couldn't think about the patient's comfort until it was over.
John told me a story about a man in Antarctica who removed his own appendix. He was the only doctor there, so he was the only one who knew how to do it. He had local anaesthetic, of course, because it was the 1960s and not the 1800s, but even so I think it must've hurt. He had to do it while looking in a mirror, too, so he could lie down.
We got Sherlock a life-sized plastic skull from the gift shop. It even has removable teeth.
198 comments:
I'm terrified you let John in such a gift shop, Mycroft. I hope he didn't buy a souvenir surgeons saw or something...
Did you get anything? Glad you had a good time.
It sounds like you had a really good time Mycroft :-) I'm glad you're getting time to do these things with John.
I'm sure Sherlock will love the skull but I should imagine the teeth will feature in lots of places over the next few days ;-)
Anonybob
Only three of the teeth come out, so it won't be too bad I hope.
Lestrade, he almost got you Mrs Beeton's Book of Household Management. And then he almost got you a plush toy syphilis microbe.
Did you get yourself anything Mycroft?
I'm not sure which of L's possible presents would be worst but part of me wonders what he actually got if those two ideas were discarded!
No, in the end we only got the skull and then we went to Louis Patisserie and brought back cakes for everyone instead because John said he didn't need anything else to dust.
No dusting cake I guess ;-) doesn't L do the hoovering (or is that just the ceiling) so he won't even have to remove the crumbs.
Mycroft - you're a braver person than I am. Blood doesn't really bother me, but the concept of no anaesthetic is stomach-churningly horrific, and leaves me looking a bit like this.
Except without the benefit of a cushion to hide behind.
John - Nothing says 'I love you' like syphilis. You old romantic, you... ;)
Actually, Sherlock, I've just remembered you said I room up too much space last night! Maybe I won't bake.... ;)
Just waiting for this latest downpour to stop before I leave.
'room up too much space'? did your phone get wet aswell as you today? ;-)
hope you're home and being warmed and dried soon ;-)
Be careful riding back, yeah? I know you will, but I needed to say it anyway.
You have now you said it!! My bed is really small even if you were in it by yourself it would be too small!
AnonyBob - my brain, not my phone, I think!
What was I even writing last night? What does 'mwale' mean?
Danger - I will, promise. It's horrible with the spray and puddles, let line the rain itself.
Let alone, even.
Leaving now.
Sherlock, I'm just teasing. We will bake, I promise.
Hurry I want to show you my skull!
I think that "mwale" might have been "m'awake" in some universe or other :-)
Oooh, plush microbes! My sister has a plush ebola and plush common cold! They're cute :-)
It's raining here too. Well, not that it concerns me - I'm stuck at home at least until the end of the week. But now I am well enough to cook so it will be fun. :-)
Mycroft and I found these and they're not really cookies or biscuits but I would still eat them http://juniakk.blogspot.com/2011/07/maple-eggplant-cookies.html
Kate L, it does sound bad, but one of the people at the museum said that many surgeries were over in 60 seconds (mostly amputations), so at least the pain didn't last for very long.
60 seconds?! How does one do that? Have to be pretty strong and skilful I'd guessed, we sawed through some bones in dissection a few times and it took longer than a minute, definitely, and that's a) thin bones b) brittle (dead) bones and c) modern (sharp!) implements.
She didn't say how. Perhaps they used something else instead of a saw? Or perhaps it was just skill, as you said.
Maybe they just went through the joint, not the bone?
now that's sensible thinking Anon :-)
Either through the joint - or with an axe?
Mainly down to practise, I think. I was told once at medical school that 'How fast can you saw through a leg?' was not an uncommon interview question for Army surgeons back then. Even after they had anaesthetics, often there wasn't enough to go around, and faster is better in that situation.
I never want to find out how fast you can saw through a leg.
No amputations in the flat, I promise.
Yeesh. Reminds me about lectures on American Civil War medicine, and a doctor could amputate a limb from prep to finish in less than 2 minutes. In some situations there were piles of them outside the back of the surgical tent right after a battle.
*shudder*
I love that staircase - looks dangerous, but beautiful.
O_O
Mycroft, that photo of the stairs makes me dizzy--I don't think there is any way to get me up them! (Well, actually, going up would not be the problem, it would be the going down after. ;) )
John's story about the self-removed appendix made me think of Jerri Nielsen, who performed two breast biopsies on herself (also in Antarctica) and I found this site. It lists Dr. Nielsen, John's Dr. Rogozov, and 8 other self-surgeries. Just amazing.
A skull is a wonderful present! Do you just love it, Sherlock?
All I can say about a gift shop with such interesting items for sale is that some medical students had to have something to do with choosing them. .. :D
CR, John would know better than I would, but I think that axes would be out because an axe crushes before it cuts, so it would do more damage than good. And if I understand correctly, it's a lot slower and more difficult to, er, disjoint a person than to saw through bone.
(I think I may be reading the wrong kind of book, if that's the sort of thing I retain!)
I can imagine an axe doing more harm than good, but I'd have thought it was easier to joint something than go through a big bone - like a leg. Although a little bone would be easier.
I mean, it's not like the jointing would be michelin star quality, just a sharp blade through the right place :)
Danger, you can joint up a creature for Sunday lunch, while Sherlock and I make our Aubergine biscuits, to show off your knife skills, deal?
You four have the oddest list of 'not in the flat' rules ;-)
I'm sure speed was always the most important thing when there was nothing to stop the pain but given we don't know how anesthetics work even now I think it's amazing that surgeons do what they do at all.
Anonybob
Anesthetic always made me really really want to smoke when I woke up. I'd like to hope that won't be the case now...
I mean, it's not like the jointing would be michelin star quality, just a sharp blade through the right place :)
Heh. Well, IF I have it right (and I well might not!), it's that disjointing (or disarticulation--that word just jumped into my head, is that right?) takes more care so it's slower. (And speed isn't the deciding factor when surgery is done with anesthesia, after all. :))
Anesthetic always made me really really want to smoke when I woke up.
It makes me sick to my stomach. Or that might be the pain killers--or both. Either way, blech.
I'd like to hope you're not going to need anesthetic then it won't be an issue :-)
My dad was daft enough to ask an anesthetist how anesthetics worked and he was horrified when she said 'we don't know they just do' I think that is a very terrifying thought!
RR - I assumed we were still talking about how to get a limb off in 60 seconds, and Jaws said that was really fast to saw through a bone.
And yeah, I've never felt the best after anesthetic, but I definitely always wanted a cigarette.
But, well, wouldn't it take longer to go through a joint than through a bone? You can go straight through a bone, but you have to maneuver around a joint, and you can't really see what you're doing.
(And I used to be such a squeamish person... :D)
I'm allergic to anesthetic, so I hope I never have to go under. When I had the operation on my cervix, to remove cancer, they didn't give me anything. Ugh. I don't recommend it to any women out there.
I can't imagine sawing through a bone in 60 seconds! They must have been really strong and fast. Ouch.
Isn't the theory that you cut the tendons, muscles and skin and just pull the joint apart?
This has to be the weirdest thing I've thought about in a while and I think I might just feel a little bit ill!!
Well I'm trying to think if I've seen more bodies jointed than cut up any other way... not sure though.
Yeah, I was considering straight through the bone, like a modern amputation is done, saving as much as possible, but disjointing would definitely be quicker, one slice through the knee on the right angle I guess?
I asked my boyfriend his opinion and his (slightly worrying response if we weren't med/vet students) was "With a guillotine...seconds. Without? Snap the bone for efficiency".
RR - in emergency you take a big knife and go the way of the least resistance. We're talking about times when "cover it with hot tar" was appropriate after-care... (Or that was earlier? Actually I'm not so sure now...)
Piplover - I can't think of anything else to say except "ouch doesn't even come close" and here's to you never having to go through anything like that again!
I guess sadly you'd know :-(
I can't see why anyone would go for sawing bone over jointing it but up until today I've never really thought about it so it's not a well thought out argument ;-)
pandabob - the choice between loosing an arm in the shoulder or just above the elbow would totally make me indicate the saw to the ...operator and then hoping to lose consciousness pronto.
A baby I know recently lost his legs just below the knee and that means they can fit prosthetic legs and feet and he should be able to walk where as had they gone at the knee they would have struggled so yes CR now I really think about it properly I think you might be right.
AnonyBob - to be honest, apart from heads and hands, it's very rare we get bodies cut up. Even heads and hands is rare, and only if the killers want the body to be hard to identify.
Most murders are surprisingly uneventful, as far as the killing goes.
That's good to know really Greg thanks.
Ha, now I can't tell if you're being sarcastic. Sorry, I do forget how out of the ordinary murder is to other people.
This whole discussion leads me to ask...has anyone here read any of the Gideon Oliver mysteries by Aaron Elkins?
you can joint up a creature for Sunday lunch
Ha. What sort of creature did you have in mind? I'm picturing you presenting me with a whole goat now.
do I ever do sarcastic? without making it perfectly obvious anyway?
I have this strange fear, not of someone I know being murdered as such but of them being murdered in a horrible way (mad I know) but to know that it's not often that the really weird stuff happens is good to know.
(That was an officially weird thing to write i know but I really was not being sarcastic)
Sherlock wanted you to do an octopus, but I said no (and don't think they have bones anyway?)
Mycroft should choose, it's his last day with us.
AnonyBob - just checking :) And yeah, I think a lot of people think most murders are weird and done by random psychos. But that's really really rare.
Oh is Mycroft back to school next week then?
It's been good having you around Mycroft :-) I hope you sleep well tonight :-)
Greg - I really try not to think about the fact that it isn't random strangers we should actually be worried about because that really is a step to never sleeping (I get little enough sleep as it is!!)
I think they don't have bones, yeah. And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know what to do with an octopus if you gave me one.
I think they have this one bone in their body that is then given to budgies to sharpen their beaks on and get more calcium :-)
Heh, goat... Made me recall that sneaky kid chewing on your trousers, John... :-)
cuttlefish...I've never thought about it. Are they frm octopus?
And do try not to think about it, indeed. Try not to think about murders at all! I do that more than enough for all of us. Apart from Sherlock, maybe.
cuttlefish are cuttlefish not octopus.
http://www.camerasunderwater.info/gallery/Dave_K/cuttlefish/cuttlefish.jpg
Small boy thinking about murders instead of me, ah yes that's what I wish for! (that was supposed to be sarcastic ;-) )
Anonybob
AnonyBob - as soon as I typed that, and thought about how many cuttlefish I've seen in my life (lots) versus how many octopus hang around British beaches I realised I was being silly... thank you for the link.
According to wiki, cuttlefish bones are from cuttlefish, who they are of the same class (cephalopoda) as octopi, squid and nautiluses. Also according to wiki, octopi have no exo- or endoskeleton and that's why they can squeeze through tight places. So no jointing octopi for anybody :-)
And this made me laugh: "The 'cuttle' in 'cuttlefish' comes from the Old English word cudele, meaning 'cuttlefish', which may be cognate with the Old Norse koddi ('cushion', 'testicle') and the Middle Low German küdel ('pouch')."
I'd suggest jointing a spider although not much there to eat when it's done.
(a spider, not Spider. Couldn't eat Spider anyway.)
True, and also Spider doesn't have joints.
spidars are hydraulic, aren't they? I mean their legs.
seriously I've just found a paper about an experiment to prove spider leg hydraulics. I just can't believe I even looked!! my mind is dying from lack of sleep but instead of stopping it's just getting weirder!!!
at least you can still spell...
Heard a study today saying women drive the romance side of relationships... I'd say John and I were in trouble, if I didn't know different ;)
you two have more romance in your little fingers than most women could manage so the study must be rubbish ;-)
I wouldn't no romance if it hit me in the face though!!
(I have spell check ;-) )
It's all L, he taught me everything I know about romance. ;)
Bollocks!
You must be a quick learner then John because you're pretty dam good at it :-)
It's true! Well, sort of. At least he's the one who made me feel like it was all right.
you do need someone to appreciate your efforts in order to be romantic that much is true so maybe you can give him that credit but the romantic ideas you come up with are amazing and all your own :-)
Well you taught me a hell of a lot about...well, a lot of things, trust and love and other things I'd forgotten.
Not sure I knew enough about any of those to teach them before I met you.
Well maybe we just found it in one another.
Bed?
Something like that, yeah.
Morning :-) I hope everyone slept well lastnight.
Mycroft - I hope you managed an undisturbed night :-) can I ask you a question about this post? As ever you don't have to answer it I don't mind :-) did you pick the tags yourself or did John put those on?
I hope you all have good days whatever you're up to ('enjoy' the last day of your course Greg)
Anonybob
I had no idea that science didn't know how anaesthetics work! This is so weird. (in any case I'm glad they do work)
Strangely my mom does fine with general anaesthesia (except for vomiting a bit, but lots of people do), but local anaesthesia really make her sick, it gets her blood pressure very very low and it takes a while for her to recover. Which is a problem since she has to get both hands operated on soon.
The museum seems interesting, but I don't think I could have gone up and down those stairs either. I like the skull. (And I have a mono plush toy :D )
Anon from Paris
I wanted to say that, especially on the mobile site, that photo of the stairs looks very much like a spiral shell.
did you pick the tags yourself or did John put those on?
I did.
Seriously John my eyes hurt!!
I was wondering Mycroft because I liked the 'I have the best blog readers' tag and thought if you'd put that there yourself it was quite a nice thing for you to be thinking :-)
How are you doing? have you had a nice time at home?
Anonybob
Yes, it's been very nice. I don't really want to go back to school.
Do you know why you don't want to go back Mycroft or is it just a standard end of holidays blues? I got the feeling you weren't feeling brilliant about the idea :-(
It might be a daft question but is there anything we can do?
Anonybob
Ps thanks John that hurts less ;-)
I like it a lot. Encourage the sky to really be like this.
That was my thought. It worked with the snow...
It strikes me John I might just have encouraged you to break the blog background changing rule sorry :-(
apparently my other half has a model salmonella on his desk so I guess I should vote other :-)
I don't really want to go back to school.
I'm sorry, Mycroft. I had hoped this semester was turning out better than the fall, but what with your earlier observation about "Lord of the Flies", perhaps not? If that's the case...well, I can't really think of anything I can do to help, but if you come up with something, you've got it. (And you shouldn't hesitate to ask either Lestrade or John to buzz up to you for a lunch or coffee or just an hour of free time. They'll make it happen, I know.)
I like the clean blue skies of the blog background, John! (Not so crazy about the gray text background, but I'm sure I'll get used to it. :))
Yeah, I can't seem to change the comment background. I don't know why it'd be different from the post, but it's annoying.
Well, it's better than the white on black, anyway. And the rest looks all fresh and clean and springlike, so... :)
I like it John :-) a change is as good as a holiday and if you can't have a holiday you might as well make a change ;-)
Bedtime is stupid! I want to be a newt I bet they don't have bedtimes.
Newts don't get ice cream either, or rainbow dinners.
I bet no one tried to feed a newt ice cream.
And newts hibernate! I don't think you'd enjoy being out of things for months and months. O_O
John, now the whole text background is the same color, so well done--only now it's ALL gray! :D
'why are there so many songs about rainbows?'
sleep tight Sherlock if you are going to cook tomorrow you need sleep :-)
I wouldn't hibernate I'd stay awake.
You could, of course, try that. But I think animals that hibernate die if they don't get to hibernate. And they're really easy for them to be stepped on. And I'm pretty sure no one buys them skulls. It might be better not to be a newt.
Besides, I like you the way you are.
Well, you're going to hibernate right now, for at least a few hours. Come on, upstairs.
sleep Sherlock believe me when you get older it will be hard to come by so sleep now and save it up for later :-) you miss nothing but sleep deprived people talking rubbish.
(My grammar seems to have got well-scrambled in the middle there--stupid iPod Touch!--but hopefully the meaning is clear... :))
I think, Sherlock, you have to either choose between being a newt, which means living in a pond and hibernating when there's snow, or being you, which means ice cream and pizza and snow and bedtime.
He is now in bed, if not hibernating.
Sometimes I honestly think he and Mycroft should get to stay up till midnight and I should put L and I to bed around 9pm. It's clear they've got some sort of extended battery life that people over thirty lack.
It is hard, being the first to go to bed--when, most of the time, he's only one in the flat who doesn't actually want to. (Despite being the one who, physically, needs the most sleep.)
Not easy being the ones to enforce the issue, either.
Mycroft are you in bed or just wanting us to go away?
I will if you want but I've been worrying about you for a few days and I know silence falls when you go back to school and that worries me. (sorry I know it's not my place to worry but I do when it comes to those I care about)
Anonybob
John, might be a different thing with Mycroft--I seem to remember reading about a major study on teen circadian rhythms, that they are physically geared to staying up late and sleeping late.
Which has nothing to do with Sherlock's inner Energizer Bunny. :D
For some reason, I was always an early riser/sleeper as a young teen, and only since I've turned 18 I've found it literally impossible to drag myself out of bed early. To be fair, that might be because I've suddenly become the deepest sleeper around (no joke, I slept through an air raid siren), or the newly acquired thyroid problems.
John, I lovelovelove the new theme, it made my very stressed-out brain go "Awwww"
Anonybob, it's not that I want you to go away. I just don't know what to say. School isn't fun. I wasn't expecting it to be. It's not as bad as it has been in the past, and that's good, but I'd still rather be home.
Mycroft, you show more grace in doing something that you don't want to do than most adults (definitely including myself).
I still wish there were a way to improve matters, but.
I can understand that Mycroft love, I won't go away I think I ask to many questions to just disappear but I really do worry about you my dear, you remind me so much of how I felt when I was younger and I worry about you :-( I like people to be happy with what's going on in their lives and you don't strike me as feeling like that right now :-(
Most night's I'm up all hours so if you need to talk. now or once you're back at school just give me a shout :-)
Anonybob
Thank you. You're all very kind people. Maybe I will.
Whatever you're comfortable with.
(We Americans are up pretty much all night, so far as you're concerned, after all. :))
please do Mycroft. I miss you lots when you're at school so that can't be close to how John and Greg feel :-) you have two people who love you beyond measure there Mycroft :-) make the most of your weekend :-) xx
Hi Mycroft. I'm sorry you're really not enjoying being away at school (I think I would hate it; you're handling the situation far better than I would). I know that a public school education will open a great many doors for you in later life - but please do remember that there is no career path in the country in which a public school education is mandatory. especially for someone as blessed with intelligence, thoughtfulness and common sense as yourself.
I do hope you are talking things through with john and Lestrade - sometimes even just talking out a situation can help you see ways to make it easier to deal with. And of course, we're always here if you'd prefer a slightly less... immediate conversation (about anything, really).
hoping isn't my thing really !!! ;-)
Hi Mycroft, just joining with the others to say that I'm sorry school isn't fun and as Nameless says to hope that you will talk to John and Lestrade, who, if nothing else, may be able to reassure you and listen to your concerns.
sleep tight Mycroft or don't you know where I am xxx
John, I love the new background and I have to say that the grey comments background is actually one of my favorite colors, so well done :-)
I had to vote for plush common cold, so other :-) For those who can't make up their minds, have a link.
Mycroft, I get you. You'd probably learn the school stuff faster with tutors at home, but a school is a place to socialize. Even if the other kids seem to be from another planet. It's a kind of diplomacy training for everyday life(at least my granddad said this regularly; for me it was more of a lesson in fist fighting, yelling and finally learning to manipulate others). So keep your head up and train those social skills (how not to go insane; how to get others to leave you in peace; how to be friendly without agreeing to provide service of any kind; how to become one people want to be friendly to and not the one that needs to depend socially on somebody; how not to be bullied; how not to become a bully, and so on, and so on) - adult life is just the same as kids in school: you get good friends, you get acquaintances, you get indifferent people and you get slimy little suckers that try to dunk you just because. And you need to recognize them and deal with them accordingly.
Wow, I guess I'm bitter about school and society or something. Well. Okay. I think that's it about this subject :-)
Hey, anonybob, you sound down at the moment. Can I offer you a hug - if you do such things?
I'm not really qualified to offer opinions about schooling and young people. One of mine dropped out of sixth form and the other refused to go. And they're both happy now.
Do you have to go back to that school mycroft? Could you not go somewhere that meant you could stay at home
Ex boarding school anon
I could, in that no one is stopping me from doing that, but I don't believe it would be a wise choice.
The Lyrid meteor shower peaks tonight:
http://youtu.be/_kyXiiWcvnI
As long as you know that we'll support you whatever you want to do, Mycroft, and that while you're at school we'll always come and visit you whenever you want - which I know isn't the same as being at home, but I hope makes it a little easier and not as lonely as it might be.
I completely understand your reasons for staying - and the reasons you have for not enjoying it, and I always admire the maturity with which you analyse such things.
Would you come next weekend? Just for a couple of hours?
very mature thinking then Mycroft. I hope it is ok once you're back.
Ex boarding school anon
Of course. Allthree of us?
Ex boarding school anon: sometimes I really hate being mature.
Lestrade: that would be all right, too, but if it were just you and I, perhaps we could go for a ride somewhere?
Absolutely. I was just checking that's what you meant. It would be great to do that.
you know you are actually still a kid don't you Mycroft? if you want to stamp your feet and say it's not fair you are allowed, the adults then get to step in to sort things out for you and 'parent' you in was your mature self probably doesn't let them.
boarding school was not my favorite place at all but I didn't have a choice of any sort if there is any other option, it might be worth Greg, John and your mum looking at it for you.
Ex boarding school anon
Lestrade: thank you.
Ex boarding school anon: I know. And in some ways I would like to do that. But I don't want to have to say, fifteen years from now, that I dropped out of Harrow because I couldn't handle it. There are some careers in which that wouldn't matter, but I don't think mine will be one of them. So I will handle it.
Mycroft - I'm sure that you've made a logical decision, based on sound reasoning. One thing you might want to consider: in fifteen years' time, the number of people who will actually give any kind of stuff about what you did or did not do when you were thirteen are going to be very few and far between.
The other thing, and I think this is more important, is please don't frame this as you being able to handle it, or not being able to handle it. Removing oneself from an untenable situation is often the most mature, healthy, sensible (and difficult) option. It's too easy sometimes to characterise walking away as the soft option, when it's more often a very positive choice.
So when you make your decision, make a decision that works for you, but make it a positive decision, please don't make it based on the perception that the alternative would show weakness.
life will throw up many challenges in the next fifteen years Mycroft and childhood is the time you are taught how to handle situations you don't like and which ones it is best to have the courage to walk away from.
I think you know a Doc and a DI who would not recommend putting pressure on yourself to 'handle' things and would much prefer you talked about it all, a lot, even if you aren't going to take the decision to leave (not that at your age it should be your decision to make really)
I hope you've had a nice day and that you have a nice time tomorrow before you head off back.
ex boarding school anon
Removing oneself from an untenable situation is often the most mature, healthy, sensible (and difficult) option.
I can definitely agree with that, in some circumstances. However, only you can know when a situation is truly untenable, not just unpleasant, but bearable as a means to an end.
do you really believe that Greg? That a 13 year old child who is obviously unhappy, is struggling to sleep and who admits that he wishes he could be a child sometimes and have someone fix things for him is the person best placed to make the decision?
I'm not saying Mycroft isn't capable of knowing what's best for him but sadly I doubt his ability to admit it sometimes.
Anyway none of my business really and I made it through boarding school without going too mad so I guess it's not such a bad thing.
ex boarding school anon
I believe that every 13 year old is different, and I believe that Mycroft is capable of analysing the situation. Whatever decision he makes, I hope he won't feel alone though. I hope he'd talk to us and let us help make it.
But I've never been to boarding school, I never had the ambition he does, or the intelligence, so I certainly can't make a decision for him. Nor, I imagine, can John. And if Mrs Holmes thinks she can...well, he's still there, so I suppose that is her decision, in a way.
Mummy and Anthea and John and Lestrade have all done lots of things that are harder than this. It's all right. I'll be okay.
Well, other people doing or not doing things is no reason you should or shouldn't do anything, but I do understand your reasons for wanting to stay there.
Mycroft, you know what's going on at school better than anyone else does and you also know your own reserves for dealing with the situation. You are intelligent and analytical enough to consider both of these things.
Just one point though, many people of your age will be leaving fee-paying schools at the moment for entirely financial reasons. If you did decide you'd had enough I doubt that changing schools would be a deal breaker.
However, only you can know when a situation is truly untenable, not just unpleasant, but bearable as a means to an end.
Absolutely. I would just hate to think of Mycroft feeling under some obligation to make a decision for the wrong reasons.
Apologies, Mycroft, for talking about you in the third person. Also, everyone's life is different, and personally I think those kinds of "other people went through worse than this" aren't meaningful. Sadly I can guarantee you'll go through some experiences that are very tough regardless of the choices you make; you don't have to bring difficulties on yourself.
Sorry, I realise that this makes it sound like I think you should leave Harrow; I don't, necessarily. But sometimes it seems like you maybe have a habit of feeling as if you have an obligation to be the responsible one, who has to meet your own or others' expectations. I think you should make the choices that are right for you; for who you are, and who you want yourself to be, not for who you think you ought to be.
Anyway, I hope you're having a good weekend, all of you, even if the weather is being a right pain :-)
I hope you are ok and that you get everything you can from the experience and it leads to a good life (I know it will help with your career but that is only a small part of what makes a good life)
I don't know what computer access you have at school but this place always seems to be thinking about you so keep in touch.
I didn't mean to sound like I was accusing you of something Greg sorry if it came across that way.
Ex boarding school anon
Keep your head up, Mycroft. Remember, palma non sine pulvere.
(I originally had a comment about highly-desired carbon allotropes, the first law of thermodynamics, and pressure, but I thought you'd appreciate the Latin more. :) )
Okay, now I have this tendency to get into a talk about whether 13-years-old person is supposed to be a child, an uncontrolable teenager or an young adult...
I can't speak for Mycroft, as I don't live with him in the same household and I've never met him in person, though I am glad I know him virtually (cheers, Mycroft!).
Each society also has their own expectances of people based on their age.
Based on my own experiences (my own life, observing my classmates and then my little sister who is 10 years younger than me) I would believe that an average 13-years-old is capable of saying "I can endure this" or "Get me out of here NOW". After all between "yay, school!" and "I'm being hazed and I think I'm getting damaged here" is a biiiiiig scale of possibilities.
Also, I get your point, ex boarding school anon, what you wrote here: That a 13 year old child who is obviously unhappy, is struggling to sleep and who admits that he wishes he could be a child sometimes and have someone fix things for him is the person best placed to make the decision? I guess you wrote this with the best intentions possible, but honestly - we can't make any assumptions based on internet comments. We simply don't have enough data, we don't know why Mycroft compares his school to The Lord of Flies, what's exactly going on in there, we don't even know what his bad dreams are about.
I think that 13 years old is old enough to make decisions about one's own future - as long as that decision is informed and the 13-years-old in question communicated with somebody about the pros and cons.
That said, Mycroft, I am also one of those who doesn't accept "XY had it worse and managed" as a valid reason. That's a justification, and not even a good one. I'd even say it's a social manipulation tool, basic level, pretty crass. I wonder who tried to use it on you.
And I hope that you know that asking for an advice is not equal to burdening somebody with your own problems, especially when those people are close to you and care about you. Also, please keep in mind that circumstances change and with more knowledge available your personal viewpoint may change as well. It is necessary to often review any decisions in the light of the new facts constantly, keep the ones that still hold their value, discard those that lose meaning and change those that need a simple adjustment...
Mycroft, there is a value to sticking something out and following through on a commitment you have made, definitely. But there's also a value to knowing and acting on what is best for you as an individual. In this case, you are the only one who's in a position to judge what that value will actually be and if it's worth it. So please think it through and make the choice that you will be happiest with both now and in twenty years' time. That will make the people who love you happy too.
And it really doesn't matter what other people have or have not been through or done. Because you've done things that they haven't done - like hold your family together before John came along, like hold yourself to very high standards.
Long story short: you're wonderful and we want you to have as good a life as you deserve.
I didn't think people would be this concerned or I wouldn't have mentioned it. I am all right, and I have talked about it with John, a lot this week especially, and with Lestrade. That other people have done difficult things isn't important to me because I feel I have to emulate them, but because I can. I hope that's clearer.
DW: thank you. I do appreciate it, and the sentiment behind your alternate comment.
Mycroft - thanks for explaining :-) Yes, it's clearer.
Mycroft - We're a bunch of fussy Mother Hens, don't you know? (Speaking as someone who is only about a decade older than you are... *coughs*)
It's good that you're talking with John and Lestrade, and I think we forget that you have Anthea there with you at school as well. Grannted, her role is to protect your physical safety, but I'm sure she keeps an eye out for you in other ways.
I don't know how the boarding school system works at all, but is there a housemaster who might be open to an honest conversation over a cup of tea every once in a while? Or a teacher that you particularly like and trust? It might help to have a mentor figure to talk to, in addition to Greg and John. For me, the takeaway from Lord of the Flies was that there *was* no outside authority and if that's the problem, then it's time to speak with your mother.
Anyway, I hope the jostling dies down soon, and you find trustworthy friends among your peers. If you ever need us to fuss, you know how to find us. ;)
~A from NW
Mycroft, you are wise beyond your years, but I have to say, it's also a great pleasure to be with you when you're enjoying being a child. In Edwardian times, at 13 you would have been considered a man. I think it's an advance in our society that we no longer think that.
As for difficult things... I think everyone gets through difficult times, and hopefully can then look back and decide which times were worth it and which weren't, and then use those experiences wisely. But sadly no one else can live through those times for you.
Mycroft, I just wanted to say that I admire you greatly. You are a very smart, capable young man, who has been faced with many challenges people twice and thrice your age will never have to contemplate.
We all of us, to a point, have to deal with things that make us uncomfortable and unhappy with. Lestrade's training the past few weeks is small example of this. Each of us have to decide for ourselves where the point is when we have to say "no more."
I think you're very brave for sticking it out at school. I can't imagine how hard it is, and how unhappy it can be. I also think you're doing it for reasons which are very valid for you.
But also remember that there is no failure. There are only diversions on the paths we walk. If the situation becomes too much, then there is no shame attached to walking away or saying, "wait." Sometimes retreating and regrouping is the only way to proceed.
You know yourself better than anyone. You know your situation better than anyone. If you think you can continue one, and it's not a horrible, dreadful thought, than I think you should follow your heart. Follow your heart, and you won't ever be lead astray.
Good luck to you, Mycroft, and know that we're all here for you when you need us. If that's just to vent, then we understand. Take care of yourself!
My favourite quote is from Hamlet "This above all: to thine own self be true."
I can't offer any advice, but to say I admire your tenacity, Mycroft, but remember - you now have people you can really rely on if you need it, and some times a tactical redirection yields better results. Best of luck.
Coming back late to the party...
I didn't think people would be this concerned or I wouldn't have mentioned it.
Please don't ever feel you have to censor yourself for fear of our reactions--I'm sure everyone here would rather feel a bit sheepish for overreacting than have you not share anything you'd like to discuss for fear of worrying us!
I do want to say that I have full faith in your ability to know when enough is enough--you have in the past, and I trust you will continue to do so. And as I said above, I admire the grace with which you handle yourself and the more difficult aspects of life.
I confess I am pleased and relieved to hear that you have discussed your concerns about school with John and Lestrade--not because I doubt your good sense, but because I get the feeling that you are more used to trying to handle things on your own, and I can't help feeling that most situations benefit from a trusted outside eye.
(And of course, as I hardly need say, this is not a decision writ in stone. I don't know about you, but for me, knowing that it is possible to make another decision if things change is always a comforting thought.)
Anyway, as several of us have said, we're always here if you feel like talking, even if it's just as a distraction or diversion--whatever you are comfortable with.
Just popping my head in to add another idea to the toolkit.
In my household, we have this rule we try to follow: know where your line is, before someone or something crosses it. Imagine your line in the sand in front of you, about your relationship with a person, your relationship with a workplace or school or organization, your relationship with anything, really. What sort of problem, or change, or behavior, or dispute would be over your line from okay to not okay?
Then, start thinking about what your response might be, if a situation comes very close to, or steps over your line. If you're not sure, that's okay, but think about the possibilities, before you need them. Will you attempt to negotiate with the person or people involved, will you contact a trusted authority figure at work or school for help, will you start looking for another place to work or be educated? I have some lines in mind, for my own workplace, about things that would cause me to actively look for work elsewhere, who I would talk to about particular types of problems, etc. I feel a little better with the everyday ups and downs of my work, because I sort of know what what I would do in these scenarios, and while I'm not _expecting_ any of them to happen soon, I'm also thinking ahead about who to talk to and where to look for help, if I have to. Doing this about my job is also helping me to figure out what I want to do next, if I need to move, or if I decide I want to move.
I also have a "things I would totally change jobs for" list, but I haven't gotten very far with that one.
Sometimes, you may realize that you would consider _moving_ your line. That can be helpful, when you want to maintain certain boundaries in a relationship, but you also know that if the other person asked to renegotiate those lines, you'd consider what they had to say. On the other hand, if we keep moving our line on what's acceptable in a relationship and the other person keeps on stepping over that line, well, that's unhealthy for us. But if you haven't thought in advance about what is unacceptable, sometimes a person can really sneak up on you.
This probably sounds horribly muddled and abstract, but it's the way we talk about negotiating boundaries at my house. It has also helped me to do less "yeah sure i'm okay with that... no no wait wait NO I'M NOT," which is a particularly upsetting fault of mine that makes me a difficult person to be with, sometimes. As I've started thinking ahead about "so what do I want, and where are my lines?" I've become easier to get along with too.
Anyway, all of the above discussion has made me realize how happy I am to have this technique. It helps me sort the little ups and downs from the big problems.
Please don't ever feel you have to censor yourself for fear of our reactions--I'm sure everyone here would rather feel a bit sheepish for overreacting than have you not share anything you'd like to discuss for fear of worrying us!
I can't speak for Mycroft, obviously, and I'm not really sure what I'm going to say is relevant to what's been discussed here, but I think it's completely normal to censor yourself because of other people's reactions.
I certainly do it a lot on here - perhaps less than I used to, but still a lot. Some things it helps to share, but you still need to pick and choose who to share with. Some reactions to some things I've said on my blog have been ... I don't know how to say it. Unhelpful doesn't cover it. And I'm fully aware they haven't been meant that way, but something once said cannot be unsaid.
I am really sorry for opening this can of worms Mycroft I really didn't mean to. sorry
CR - what I meant by what I said was that when you aren't sleeping as well as you'd like and you feel a bit rubbish sometimes it's hard to see the best way forward and you might need more help than normal.
Having obviously upset a few people I'm going to say bye bye and go back to lurking (I am really sorry Mycroft and Greg)
ex boarding school anon
Ex boarding school Anon - you really don't need to go back to lurking - I mean, if you don't want to.
I was a bit upset - but not at what you said, more at the thought that some of you out there could think we were allowing Mycroft to grow up an unhappy boy whilst we stood and did nothing about it. (Although I can entirely see how you could think that, too.)
But I think you also said things that needed to be said, and which we weren't in a position to say, because we've never been to boarding school, we don't know what it's like. And because sometimes it's easy to not confront hard decisions head on, but rather to let things remain as they are.
So...well, certainly don't feel you're unwelcome, or must lurk if you don't want to. The great thing about these blogs is that everyone comes to them with different experiences and points of view, and I think we all learn from each other.
Actually, if I'm honest, I was probably more upset by the thought that Mycroft really was that unhappy, but we had chosen not to notice/he had chosen not to let us notice.
Afterall, the last time I had anything to do with raising children I was just a kid myself, and as far as I'm aware, John never really has, so as far as inexperienced people go, we're about as bad as it gets. And just have to hope that the amount we care picks up the slack in our experience.
I never thought that for a second Greg, and I can't see how you could see how we might. I've never seen a family more supportive of all its members.
Kids are unhappy sometimes just because they are but I did find the 'sometimes I really hate being mature' really sad because we've all been through the 'I'm grown up and can do this all by myself' stage of life and eventually come to realise that that's rubbish and the people around you are what makes you strong enough to get through anything!
The odd special treat, impromptu visit and even, weird as it might seem with the technology we now have, a hand written letter that arrives by surprise and can be carried everywhere all provide memories of those at home and as I understand it you all do those things already.
ex boarding school anon (who might lurk and might not)
ex boarding school anon: Please don't feel badly. That wasn't my intention. I hope you will continue to comment here.
Lestrade: I don't know how unhappy 'that unhappy' is, but I'm probably not. As I said, it's not as bad as the first boarding school I attended.
L--I didn't mean the comment about self-censoring like that. It's only sensible and reasonable and correct to take care with what one says on a public forum where all the world can read and respond--that's why I said "whatever you're comfortable with". I just meant that Mycroft shouldn't take the responsibilty for our feelings on his shoulders or try to protect us. It's quite enough to look out for himself (and family and loved ones), he doesn't need to worry about protecting us, too. I'm sorry I wasn't clear.
If I've been one of those saying things that "unhelpful" doesn't begin to cover, I am deeply sorry and apologize. I know that doesn't help, as you said, and I know I can be a bit tone-deaf about what will hurt people, and if it would be better if I go away, I will, because causing harm is the very last thing I want to do.
If you're ok with it mycroft I might well stick around but I'll try and remember that when I ask a question I should be careful how I word it and that in order to answer it you've got to be prepared to tell the world!
Are you up to much today before heading off? I hope you're having a good day.
Ex boarding school anon
Honestly, I don't know how unhappy 'that unhappy' is either. I don't know how anyone knows.
But if I had a magic formula for working it out I wouldn't have ended up in half the situations I have in my life.
I think a thirteen year old boy shouldn't be unhappy most of the time and since he's at school much more than at home when he's happy I really hope Mycroft finds way to be a little more happy there.
I went to a boarding school for a year in another country and I loved it but I was older and had a lot of fun with friends. I did miss home desperately but I think, for me, the only way to enjoy being away from a loving home is to have a good support of friends.
Mycroft, I really wish you find someone you could consider a friend, it usually makes a world of difference.
experience doesn't make good parents Greg (I never really know what word to use when I'm talking to you or John because you do all the important things parents do but your not really, if there's a word you use please correct me)
The love and care you have for both boys is evident in everything and there is no way anyone could come to the conclusion that you wouldn't do everything you could to make them both as happy as possible.
Happy and unhappy are short term things sometimes and unhappiness can be dealt with in time and what looked hard can become a great experience. :-)
I hope this is all just end of holiday blues for all of you and that once Mycroft gets back to school the worries don't look so big :-)
Anonybob
Honestly, I don't know how unhappy 'that unhappy' is either. I don't know how anyone knows.
Unfortunately, I think that's a sort of retrospective thing. As in "Why the hell did I ever let myself (stay/be treated like that/endure that/etc.)?!"
At least it's been true for the times in my life when I didn't leave and should've.
Now, raising children is one thing I do have experience with! And it sounds to me L, that you and the Doc are doing a pretty good job of it. As with everything in life, there are times you're going to look back and think you should have done things differently. But it seems to me that Mycroft and Sherlock are thriving under your care.
DW - exactly. Hindsight is the easy bit.
AnonyBob - I never know what to call us either! I mean, guardians, sort of? But it's up to the boys if they want to call us a certain thing, really.
Sherlock has given Mycroft some aubergine biscuits to take back to school. He's...speechless ;)
"Speechless" sounds like an exactly correct response. (How do they taste?)
L, I would call you a family.
Oh, and that was a very nice thing to do, Sherlock!
(Sorry if I'm all upside down and backwards--my eyes are swollen almost completely shut and it's really very had to do anything correctly when you can barely see!)
bloody wonderful men would be my choice but it doesn't really fit the context ;-)
family I would agree RR but some families have parents, some have guardians, some have aunties and uncles and some have docs and DIs. I wouldn't want the boys to think I'd forgotten they had parents so guardians is probably a good word to use :-)
Are aubergine biscuits nice? It's a lovely thoughtful thing to do Sherlock :-)
Anonybob
Anony--There's a Yiddish/Hebrew word "mishpacha" and means anyone related by blood or marriage, however tenuous the connection, and can include close friends, if they, too, are part of the family "network." If someone asks Sherlock or Mycroft who John or Lestrade is, I think it would be a fine answer for them to say "mishpacha"--or in English, family. :)
(Just so there's no misunderstanding--I'm not saying the connection is tenuous, I'm saying that connection by love is as or more important as connection by birth or law.)
Sacred Oak Anon - this visualization is recommended in many areas and it's a great advice. I first encountered it when reading a book about riding motorcycles. There was a whole chapter dedicated to visualization as a tool to curb panic when an accident is about to happen or happens because you don't have to create some totally new solution in a stressful situation but simply chose one you've already thought about and go through the routine steps. Just like a fire drill. It has helped me many times since - not on bike but in life generally, so I agree it's a valuable tool to basically any area of life. Also, one of the people I admire once said "A disaster is something one is not prepared for." - As long as you can imagine a situation and what would you do, you raise your own ability to deal with it.
Dammit! Chose a bad account to comment, had to hit the Back button and the comment is lost... So again:
Ex boarding school anon - I hope I didn't upset you and that you don't feel you have to go back to lurking because of me. I understand that I sometimes come across very forcefully without even intending to. Also, as comments have no tone inflection or body language, I might have misunderstood something you wrote. I was more concerned about an implication (intentional or not) that Mycroft would not be able to make up his own mind. Again, I might have misunderstood. If so, my apologies.
L - I think you and John are doing fine. To be perfect is practically impossible, so...
RR - aww, allergy sucks! No eye-drops are helping?
And on a completely unrelated note: any way to tell if a bone is fractured and not dislocated without going to the doc and under the X-rays? On Friday 13th I dislocated my stupid finger with the cyst in it and it hurts... funnily. Without any swelling or so. The problem? It takes 8 weeks to get a scheduled appointment with my orthopedist (I got one about a week before this happened - it's on June 18th) and I am not that comfortable with going to another doctor with it...
CR--I am using prescription eyedrops, AND OTC eyedrops, AND a prescription nasal spray, AND Benadryl, AND Allegra, AND Zyrtec, all in addition to allergy shots. (Every single thing has been authorized or ordered by a doctor who knew I was taking all the others!)
And my left eye is still almost completely swollen shut. (The right is slightly better now--I'm peeking through that one to type.)
And you should probably have that finger looked at by a medical professional. They generally just splint a finger to the nearby fingers, but if it's not immobilized in the proper position, and it is broken, it could heal crooked. Which can end up being quite painful. If you call your orthopedist and say you think you have a broken finger, wouldn't they squeeze you in? (Yes, I've had a broken finger--two, actually, hairline fractures. They did hurt "funny" and they didn't swell up. Also, one of the kids in my bunk when I was day camp counselor fell on her hand and said her finger hurt, and I had assumed it wasn't broken because there was no swelling, but it was broken all the same.)
RR - WOW! That's... amazing amount of stuff! Have you tried cold compress? My allergy reacts positively to cold things, like cold drinks, ice cream or sucking ice cubes, cold water on my face... Maybe cool two teaspoons in the fridge (NOT the freezer!) and let them sit on your eyes for a while?
I will call her tomorrow - but I don't know when she'll manage to squeeze me in. It's the one official military hospital that handles civilians as well, some of the best doctors in the country, but they are seriously overworked, underpaid and most of them have their consulting hours only once a week, so it's really really hard to get there unannounced - even with an appointment the usual time a patient spends waiting in front of the ordination is two hours and more... :-(
Thanks for the suggestion--I actually just finished using a cold compress, with no visible results.
Good luck with the doctor, I hope they get you in there without a ridiculous wait.
CR - Mycroft and Greg say they are ok with me sticking around so I might for a bit, in the nicest possible way to say this I was more concerned I'd upset them than you (not that I don't care if I upset other people but I hope you know what I mean)
Having been 13 and not wanted to return to school after holidays but having no choice at all about it I know that I would have found the decision, if it had been avaliable to me, very difficult. I did say I didn't doubt Mycroft's ability to make the decision just that it's hard to admit what you want sometimes when you don't know how it will be taken by others.
Hope your finger is better soon.
ex boarding school anon
RR - I commiserate.
Ex boarding school anon - got it :-) And thanks for the well wishes. It will either get better or it will go away. Literally.
I think this seems like a Sunday everyone needs some cuddles, so in the absence of microbes, I offer the following:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwbVQetLqfM
That is all. <3
CR - hope you can get the finger sorted (or it stops feeling weird). Only times I've definitely broken fingers they've been patched up before I knew much about anything, and were the least of my concerns. Other times I've never found out if they were broken or not, but been lucky enough that they've healed well enough not to bother me.
Aubergine biscuits... haven't been as popular as other biscuits have been.
DW - <3
Lestrade - what exactly are aubergine biscuits? Because slices of aubergine griddled sound nommy, but I can imagine that normal biscuits made with aubergine would be a bit odd.
Can't win them all I guess! Weren't they just baked Aubergine really? you need lots of sugar and butter to make good biscuits ;-)
Anonybob
DW - that was very cute.
Sorry about the lack of complete success on the biscuit experiment--but if you knew how they'd come out it would just be baking and not an experiment! I hope you all had fun trying, anyway. :)
Aw, cuddly critters, DW!
I told you, SH. Sweetness and light, like a marshmallow! Or maybe a stained-glass version of a marshmallow? Or a cloud (that floats on high o'er vales and hills). :D
I wonder... If you can make bread!turtles (http://tinyurl.com/72mrord), can you make marshmallow!badgers? Maybe marshmallow and licorice? As our resident bakers, what do you think Lestrade and Sherlock?
DW - would that make us a clump of golden daffodils?
I like the idea of marshmallow!badgers.
Well, we're certainly not shrinking violets. ;)
In fact, I don't recall hearing much about shrinking anything around here. Mostly things just swell temporarily.
Marshmallows swell if you put 'em in the microwave. I know people who arm their marshmallow peeps with toothpicks and then put them in the microwave to watch them "joust" as they heat up.
Well, Sherlock insisted we make 'real' aubergine biscuits...as in, normal biscuits with added aubergine, and some nutmeg (in an attempt to make them taste of...something.)
Even he didn't eat them as fast as he normally eats biscuits.
We also made some savoury ones with parmesan, which were better.
And the rest of the aubergines he'd insisted on buying went for tempura.
That's not a recipe any of us will be asking for then ;-)
tempura aubergines do sound quite nice though :-)
We also made some savoury ones with parmesan, which were better.
That actually sounds like they might be pretty good--in my opinion, eggplant really needs cheese. Or frying. Or both. (I love the color, not so much the insides.) :)
Did the the "real" biscuits have the silver decorations?
Mmm, the savoury biscuits and the tempura both sound delicious. I'm a sucker for vegetable tempura (there's a restaurant near here that serves a rather good wasabi mayonnaise dip with their veg tempura, which works really well).
SH, DW - I'm not convinced I'm a flower of any description. I think I'm more of a root vegetable; perhaps a turnip?
Daffodils, violets...as long as we're going there, my Chinese name means "peony"!
(The name I got when I got black sash, that is, not a translation of my birth name. :))
Nameless, we are all flowers and have something to show, rather than being hidden underground. If I say you strike me as a pansy, could this lot not put the wrong connotation on it. I mean you have a bright happy face and you can choose which colour you wish to be.
I've always thought that eggplant by itself doesn't have taste, something like mozarella... Ah well, you don't really experiment unless you have some flops. And I just have to think about which batch of biscuits did Sherlock give to Mycroft to take to school...
Flowers... Can't help you there :-)
you have a bright happy face and you can choose which colour you wish to be.
I like that, SH. Brilliant!
Hi Mycroft, no idea if you will ever look at this but if your school is anything like mine was you will, by now, have done all the firsts of the new term, first dinner, first sleep, first breakfast, first lessons, first conversation with someone you probably wouldn't chose to talk to, first conversation with that friend you thought might have forgotten you while you were both on holiday and many more besides and I just wanted to say that I always found that to be the hardest bit over and I hope you do aswell :-)
I don't want to open up any more conversation on the subject I just wanted to wish you well.
ex boarding school anon
SH - that is... honestly the first time anyone has ever compared me to a pansy :-)
Doc, did you see this yet? The complete and actual rules for Yellow Car:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nq8KrAx26mM
Enjoy!
That's GREAT, DW!
Surely, it Brilliant!!! DW?
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