For anyone who didn't see it in the comments, Bryan was arrested on a drugs charge today...and called L for help. Help was obviously not forthcoming. I don't even know what he thought Greg could do.
Anyhow. Sherlock's blisteringly angry about it and thinks Bryan should be boiled in oil at the very least. Getting him to settle down for bed was basically impossible, and he sat between us on the sofa until he drifted off around eleven.
L took him upstairs and then we talked for a while. I'm also angry. Obviously. Trying not to suggest he should be boiled in oil or anything similar. It wouldn't help, and Sherlock doesn't need the encouragement.
We went to bed. I'm reading Some Buried Caesar again and read some of it to L. Possibly not the book for him as it put him right to sleep. Although, really, it was midnight by then, and he hadn't had the easiest day, so.
And I'm still awake. Shoulder hurts, leg hurts, brain hurts. Oh, and I worked today. Got one call where a fourteen year old kid had been arrested for attacking his grandmother. So there's that as well.
I don't know if writing this down has helped or not. Going to read some more I think.
Anyhow. Sherlock's blisteringly angry about it and thinks Bryan should be boiled in oil at the very least. Getting him to settle down for bed was basically impossible, and he sat between us on the sofa until he drifted off around eleven.
L took him upstairs and then we talked for a while. I'm also angry. Obviously. Trying not to suggest he should be boiled in oil or anything similar. It wouldn't help, and Sherlock doesn't need the encouragement.
We went to bed. I'm reading Some Buried Caesar again and read some of it to L. Possibly not the book for him as it put him right to sleep. Although, really, it was midnight by then, and he hadn't had the easiest day, so.
And I'm still awake. Shoulder hurts, leg hurts, brain hurts. Oh, and I worked today. Got one call where a fourteen year old kid had been arrested for attacking his grandmother. So there's that as well.
I don't know if writing this down has helped or not. Going to read some more I think.
95 comments:
no boiling oil, no.
Could give you a shoulder rub. Might be a bit of sleeping floppy shoulder rub though. May fall back asleep halfway through.
yeah, okay. I'll be there in a minute. I love you.
I'm usually awake, staring at the ceiling, when I'm upset. This time I can't get enough of sleep. My foot hurts, leaving me wondering if I need more surgery or if it's all in my head.
All this is by way of saying that I sympathize.
love you too. I mean it when I say I'm so lucky to find you.
I really don't know if I could be as understanding when shit like this happens. Thank you.
Becca - I hope you're doing all right. You have my sympathies as well.
L - nothing to be understanding about. It's not as if you did anything. Things just happen sometimes.
John - I'm ... not entirely all right. But this too will pass, I'm told. So I tread water, waiting it out. And I'll see my surgeon in a few weeks, so I can get an objective opinion on my foot.
Hope this passes for you as well, and you can get some sleep.
I managed to miss all this today. I hope you guys are asleep now. I know the feeling of wanting something to be over but not sure if it is. It sucks.
I hope your pain goes away, Becca.
Something I say to myself so often I should get it tattooed:
All shall be well,
And all shall be well,
And all manner of things shall be well.
Ella
Wishing sleep, and good sleep at that, for everyone. Or as untroubled a wakefulness as is possible.
(Ella: Julian of Norwich, right?)
fA
fA--yep. I've seen alternate wordings, but that one's my favorite.
Ella
Ella, I love that quote. I need to remember it more often.
John, is that the Rex Stout book or is there another one by the same name?
I hope you guys are able to get some restful sleep, and that things look, if not brighter, at least more manageable, in the morning.
I hope it was Rex Stout. Archie is a great distraction.
And if Sherlock is still indignant in the morning it may be an opportunity to present the notion of hubris to him. Self-confidence is all very well and good, but when it becomes arrogance and the conviction that one is immune to the laws of physics and biology as well as the laws of the land, well, the obvious example has presented itself.
I hope you all have a much better day tomorrow.
I hope you were all able to get some sleep, and the morning has things looking a bit brighter.
I'm really sorry this has happened to disturb everybody. It's in no way your fault, Greg, so don't be feeling bad about it. I can understand your anger though, John. The nerve of B expecting Greg to sort out his problems as if he had any right to even talk to him after everything he's done. You just need to remember that you are the two that got lucky by finding each other and by being happy together and he's the one who is left with nothing. Plus it's lovely that Sherlock is so supportive of you both, though maybe you could edge him away from the oil part. ;)
I hope you both managed some sleep and that Sherlock managed to make it until normal wake up and was ok this morning :-)
Good luck with today, hopefully it'll be less eventful than yesterday ;-)
Got a bit of sleep. And examined the ceiling a lot.
I know it's not my fault...but it feels like it. You know, his presence in their lives, i wish I could parcel that bit of me off, never let it touch them.
Anyway, Now in the shit state of waiting for something to happen which might never happen anyway, which is ridiculous, and I just need to get on with stuff and stop dwelling on it.
I'm glad you got some sleep Greg even if not quite enough.
The way you feel about the situation with Bryan is completely understandable and I don't think there is anyone who could change how you feel about it because feelings don't work like that but they do get taken over by rational sense eventually so I'm told ;-)
You wouldn't be where you are now if you hadn't taken every one of the steps that led to you being here but I fully understand where you're coming from with the parcelling that bit off thing. :-)
Anyway, Now in the shit state of waiting for something to happen which might never happen anyway
We should make tshirts. Anyway, I hear that state has a big desert in it where you can leave people behind who insist on following you around.
I second anonybobs assertion that every decision you ever made is what brought you to this place that you are now. I know it feels like your fault, but John made his decisions too. And Bry made his. This particular situation is no ones fault but his.
Does feeling like it's your fault give you the side effect of feeling like you then have some measure of control over it? I know for me, feeling like I'm not in control of a situation is worse than feeling like I'm to blame for it.
Ella
Hope the day has produced a sufficient distraction from your thoughts, without being too dire, L.
And you're right it's not your fault that someone as self-centred as that looks around for someone to get him out of the mess and you happen to be the person he thinks of. Not that it's always easy to keep that in mind.
I don't feel in control at all. I think between lack of sleep and thinking about it I'm slowly entering some sort of slightly weird stats where it's sort of making me laugh, it's so ridiculous.
I'd love to talk to him. Well, actually, I'd like him to stand there in silence while I spoke and he listened and give him no opportunity to respond at all. But it won't happen.
There's always stuff that comes along when you are with someone else. My ex stalked me, made death threats against me and hubs. I felt awful for that, for bringing that fear into his world.
And he said he'd rather have me, even with scary stalker ex, than not have SSE and not have me either. And that SSE was always going to be a thing, no matter if I was with hubs or not, and it was better we went through it together and had each other's backs, than going through it alone.
It's good you can see how ridiculous the situation is, though. Would like to see his face when you laugh at him. I wonder if that wouldn't be the best revenge of all.
L, I don't know if this would work for you, so feel free to totally ignore...I have a friend who, when especially frustrated or furious or hurt, sits down (or paces around) and writes long and (according to her) eloquent letters to the person she needs to blast. She puts them in properly addressed envelopes, even stamps them, and then rips them up. Most of the time she says that's enough. As I said, I don't know if that would work for you or not--me, I get more worked up instead of calming down--but she swears by it; she says seeing it in black and white validates her feelings, and knowing no one else will see it means she can be as irrational as she likes. But everyone works differently. Anyway, I apologize if that's stupid to bring up.
How are you doing today, John? I hope you managed some sleep, too. (I always find Wolfe and Archie to be good company!)
It doesn't feel that way, I know, but what I read here is not so much about how Bryan is threatening to impinge on the lives you have built together, but how effectively you all come together to live your lives and make sure his drama is shut out of them.
I work with many younger people, a lot of whom are struggling this week to find the right Valentine's gesture to express or (they hope) secure love & desire. I have heard nothing that expresses love as well as your last evening - just sitting and talking with each other and Sherlock, being read to sleep with Nero & Archie, offering a shoulder rub for aches and pains. It's like a fucking fortress of solidarity and love and affection. There's more romance in one of those things than in all the Valentine's plans I've heard put together.
Hope the inside of everyone's head smooths out and tonight is better.
formerlyAnon
Yeah, what she said!
Yeah, I definitely can't begin to explain how much better I feel knowing John - and the boys - are here with me, with that offer of unconditional support. It's amazing.
((((Greg)))) and also ((((Ella)))) and ((((Becca)))) and ((((Kestrel))))
what's the saying, living well is the best revenge? Going on to have such a healthy, happy relationship/family is the proof that you have put B behind you. He can try to yank your chain and wind you up, but you have such a strong center now, he's not going to really pull you off course any more. He's no more than an ugly billboard you can drive right by, and don't even have to look at, you have your family with you and you're on the road to good places together.
S
Very true.
And you lot all helped, too. At the start, suddenly going from thinking I was pretty worthless, to finding John and the boys....it took me a while, to believe they'd really want to keep me around, you know? All being so...well, clever, educated etc. But everyone here - and John and the boys - made me realise I needed to believe what I was seeing, and stop letting my worries eat away at me and just...live life, I suppose. Stop sabotaging myself, however much that gave me control, it was a stupid thing to do :)
Anyway, I'm off home.
It was a human thing to do! But you are very needed and loved, all of you. :)
Have a nice evening!
I have received my exam results.
John, Lestrade, I hope you can both come to speak to my teachers on Thursday? Mummy is coming along, but I would like you both to be there too, if it's possible.
I also saw this. It made me think of Sherlock.
ha, nice.
We will, of course, do our very best to be there. I'll make sure I leave work early ;)
Kestrel - the Rex Stout book, yes.
Mycroft - yes, of course! Happy to come.
Thank you both.
Bend them (the school & educational system in general) to your will, Mycroft.
Diplomatically, of course.
fA
Really looking forward to having you home, Mycroft.
You'll join me in a camelatte, right? Sherlock says he wants to have some - so he can try some of mine.
I'm trying to get some rest days all in a bunch to spend with you all.
That'll be brilliant if you can get a whole bunch of days off together, Greg. You'll be able to enjoy Brighton and then time back in London with your family too. Nothing better to remind you how loved you are and how much you all mean to each other.
I'm assuming you're not including John in the camelatte testing is because he's already tasted plenty during his rustling days. ;)
wow, that's a lot of dough to be tossing out, even before it rose over night. At least they were trying to compost it!
am now looking up what a camelatte is... oh, yes, the camel milk thing. that's neat, that it's a fundraiser for Farm Africa.
S
Thanks, Mycroft! Timely, since my middle daughter just did a science fair experiment involving yeast. She enjoyed the picture!
Oh, you guys, all of you, there's so much love here. I'm always amazed by the family you have created together, all of you. It's something I aspire to.
On a cheery note, I just want to say that the BBC commentary for slopestyle was the highlight of my weekend. Some of the best sports coverage I've ever heard, they were so excited on Saturday that they were reminding each other to breathe and on Sunday they were cheerful and bubbly and they broke into SONG at one point during the women's slopestyle final and they kept coming up with hilarious analogies for how nervous and excited they were. It was such a delight to watch and hear and I fell in love with the sport as well.
AftSO
Hope all of you in the North are hunkering down for the storms. And anyone in flooded areas is doing okay. Amazing how bad it's getting, with no signs of a let up.
Joolz - not including Danger because he's refused to join the tasting session! Must be sick of all those camels :)
yeah, I'm supposed to get 4-8 inches on Thursday, and 3-7 more Thursday night! where are we going to put it all? Still, I suppose it's better than flooding... we have to move it, but it more or less stays where it's put. I live on the highish edge of floodplain, haven't quite been flooded yet, but if the dike to the north of my street is ever let go, at some point the river would probably change course and wipe out my street and the next one over, and create another oxbow. So I always vote for the money to repair the dike any time it comes up!
S
Some places here are flooded up to the roof now. And no end to the rain in sight. It's hammering down now. And hurricane force winds due in some areas as well!
Yikes! Stay safe, everyone in the affected areas! (We've got another storm moving in here on the East Coast--snow, rain, cold, coastal flooding, the lot. It's a bad winter all round.)
I take it you are happy with your exam results, Mycroft? Best of luck getting what you want out of your meeting!
Yes, Weather with a capital W is all over. My friends and family in the southeast U.S. are worrying about falling trees and getting ready to lose power for 3-4 days. Ice storms of up to 2 days are predicted, and once the power lines are down it takes time to restore, even if the ice has all melted again.
fA
Yeah, the southern states are horribly vulnerable to ice- and snowstorms, they have no infrastructure for them. No snowplows, no salt reserves, and their power systems aren't built for it. (Although most of the northeast isn't built for that last either--Manhattan is the only place where all power lines are underground.) I hope your family and friends stay safe, fA.
Just feels like it's never going to stop. And it's not like we're suffering here, just wet. Unlike people who've been flooded out for over 6 weeks now.
And hope you're tucked up in art club, John ;). Do tell me what you make!
We're making masks, apparently.
Oooh, what sort? Is it a good moment to mention that I think you'd look good as a red panda? Or a camel, so you fit in when rustling them...
They're blank, and we're decorating them with whatever (not red pandas...), but she said they might do ones cast from the kids' faces at some point, which would be interesting.
So far, Sherlock is planning a lot of blood and glitter on his.
Blood AND glitter? There's a combination you don't see every day...
Whats yours like? I'd go for glitter. Big eyelashes. Jewels. Fabulous darling!! Sad I'm not there.
It's sort of...porcupiney. Wooden sticks sticking out of it and some stripes and things. I'll send you a picture.
John--you're passing up a chance to make a mask that matches your sparkly unicorn jacket? Shame. :)
Ella
It's hard to believe, I know...
He's telling you it doesn't match his jacket. I've seen the photos - it is a lovely sparkly mask. Bit of denim, neon glow effect, sparkles etc ;)
I did not do quite as well in my exams as I would have liked. But as John and Lestrade have said, it shows me where my efforts must be concentrated now.
John, I do like the idea of my brother in a full face cast. Please ask if it can be arranged for when I am at home. The silence will be wonderful.
That is an important value of testing, indeed, and it redounds to your credit that you understand that.
Mycroft--I apologize if this was said and I missed it, but were these schools exams, or mocks, or standardized tests like the a-levels?
Ella
They were my mock GCSEs. So they don't count for anything, in the long run.
I was freezing cold when I got home, having been out half the day and then ridden back.
Sherlock told John to make me tea and headed off...returned with his fnug, and he clambered onto me, wrapped us both up, and told me he was rescuing me by sharing body warmth! He's a fantastic kid.
Mycroft, you're an amazing young man, and I have no doubt you'll find those few extra marks by the exam time. Do tell us if we can help at all :)
Mycroft, I am glad your mocks will be of value to you in your preparation. Sometimes such exercises seem like a waste of a lot of time, and it's frustrating.
fA
(Good for Sherlock!)
I came across a poem that I thought some of you might like if you don't know it. It's long for a comment but I'll excerpt the beginning and end. Googling the author and title will bring the full text up on at least two websites as of today. Apologies if this seems like hijacking these comments, but I do think it's worth sharing.
My Optimism by Shao Yanxiang
I'm an adult
My optimism is adult too
My optimism doesn't smile all the time
It has rolled in the mud
It's been struck on an anvil
It burst out into sparks under the hammer
It burned in a bonfire that almost went out
For a while people scornfully called it dead ash
[over half of poem omitted]
Adult optimism
Isn't always sweet
Sometimes its face is bathed in tears
I once heard it choking back sobs
But it woke out of its grief
Caught my hand
Comforted my heart
Propped my head in both hands
And tried gently to console me
With a tune that only parents would use with a child
Hello old friend inseparable as body and shadow
My long-suffering weather-beaten optimism
fA
I like that. I'll google the rest when I get a chance. Thank you for sharing it.
Good for you, Sherlock!
That's a lovely poem, fA.
Thanks, fA. I'll read it when John googles it. Or maybe let him read it to me, he's got a lovely voice.
You're welcome. It's been a long time since I came across a poem that I liked so much instantly, and I've been almost forcing it on people all day.
I like reading to people, and being read to (when it's the right reader) so recruiting John to read it to you sounds lovely.
fA
Can't believe we threw away another chance for points!
Bother Sherlock and John look very fine in their masks. Although John looks more alive than Sherlock ;)
um, both...I can't even blame autocorrect. :(
I hope everyone is okay out there. All of you in the UK, between hurricane force winds and the flooding, and everyone in America with the freezing weather, and you Australians with your heatwave. It does seem like the weather is winning.
It's terrible down this way, with so many people being flooded out. You just can't believe where all the rain is coming from.
Orio, if you need to talk, you know where I am.
Cheers, Nicks.
You're such a considerate boy, Sherlock. I wish my boys were old enough to still snuggle with me. Congrats on the exams, Mycroft. I'm sure things will work out in the end. Hope everyone is staying dry and safe and warm. I'm up in Minnesota and I think we're creeping up to almost 50 days of below zero weather (Fahrenheit)! Today actually started off at 18F above zero, probably should have put some shorts and sandals on! ~EchoOfMe
I'm sorry your exam results weren't quite what you hoped for Mycroft, I'm sure your continued hard work will pay off when it really matters though :-)
Good luck everyone in dealing with whichever kind of weather you face this morning, its wet, windy and very cold here and I really wish it was half term already and we could hide in the house all day ;-)
Is your half term next week too? You'll have your hands full! Hope the weather allows some excursions for energetic kids.
yep half term next week :-D
We're off on holiday with the grandparents so for one whole week adults won't be out numbered by kids ;-)
I hope your day is going as planned :-)
Right, I've bought a bottle of pink Cava and we're making cards at Brownies tonight - is there anything else I need to do?
Speaking from experience, you'll probably want several showers to get the glitter out of your hair post-card-making.
Nah, embrace the glitter! Just spend the next few days leaving a wake of glitter behind you.
It's what I do ;)
Hope you are making full use of this rare dry weather, Sherlock! But be kind to John, too ;)
Danger, I might have to meet you at Mycroft's school. Got a meeting that might run over...
All right. How's it going?
Yeah, good, will be leaving any minute.
The bastard actually called me today. Tried his old tricks. I lost it. I told him exactly what I thought of him and told him it wouldn't work anymore. Feel actually quite good. He hung up. Guess that's what getting ten years of pent up rage does to him.
I can't believe he called you - what on earth goes through his head?
Glad you had a chance to give him a piece of your mind though.
Go you Greg :-D. Ten years is a long time to wait to tell him what you think of him but I'm glad you got the chance :-)
I hope Mycroft's parents evening is unsurprising.
Feel actually quite good.
Excellent! I hope it got through to him at least a bit, and he will now know to stay far, far away.
Have a good time "shepping nachas"* at Mycroft's meeting!
(*Yiddish for deriving pride and joy, generally from the accomplishments of someone else. See here if you doubt! :))
You should have heard him, John. There was officers here hiding under their desks, barely anyone sees the boss lose his temper, and I bet none of us can think of someone who deserved to be on the other end of it more. He told that bastard exactly where he could stuff his threats or whatever he was saying.
Good! I wish I'd heard it.
Thank you SO MUCH Sally for sharing. The [nosy] Internet (or at least this representative thereof) is getting enormous vicarious satisfaction from imagining that dressing down.
fA
It wasn't quite that dramatic.
I just thought...you know, there's lots I've never said, and he just needs to know that I've got support, I've got help, I'm not going to crumble because I've been given back my self belief by the people around me. So...well, I said that. But with a lot more swearing.
"With a lot more swearing" seems absolutely appropriate. As does the rest of it--actually, that seems quite restrained, and he should count himself lucky!
STILL rolling around in slightly vindictive and definitely happy vicarious pleasure that you got to say your say and he had to hear it (even if he dismissed it all immediately like the idiot he is), however you want to downplay the cinematic drama of Sally's retelling.
fA
So.. some domesticated Silver Foxes fight back eh?
http://www.prooffreader.com/2014/01/the-irony-of-soviet-silver-fox.html
That is just brilliant, Greg, well done for giving him what for. It must have been so satisfying to finally get the chance to have your say. I'm glad you told him how much support you have so he knows that he can no longer make you feel bad and he knows that you have so much more than he does.
Hope your meeting is going well at school. I'm sure you will only move upwards and onwards from here, Mycroft, and you will do excellently when the actual GCSE's roll round. Is Sherlock with you too or did you leave him with Mrs H.
As suspected, Mycroft's teachers have all said what a lovely young man he is. Hard working, pleasant, helpful, interested in his work, and generally a good example to all.
So obviously taking after John ;)
Well, that's just full of win!
woo hoo, *fist pump* you go Greg! :) And, what fA said too. yeah! Leaving him behind and not looking back.
And kudos to Mycroft as well, glad to hear a good report even if it's not a big surprise. ;)
in other news, we have probably something like 7-8" of snow here, it's hard to tell with how much it's blowing around. Some places have been cleared entirely by the wind, other places piled up a lot more. I managed to put in about a half day in the studio in between bouts of shoveling. Now I'm going to have a hot cuppa, and make a big pot of something for dinner, some chicken and cauliflower curry I think, enough to make leftovers for a few days.
S
Congratulations to you and Mycroft both! It sounds like a day to be celebrated.
And I'm sure Sherlock has the glitter to celebrate with.
rsf
Post a Comment