For L's entertainment, more Greg the Florist. He won't talk about the case he's working on at all, so it must be pretty bad. Hope this manages to cheer him up a bit...
As they walked up the road, towards Greg's flat, above the shop, Greg turned to John. "So, before you gave in to your life long urge to be a florist, what did you fill your time doing?"
"I repaired farm machinery."
"What, really? Threshers and--"
"Combine harvesters, yes, don't sing the song."
Greg eyed him.
"Had to stop when I got stabbed with a pitchfork by an angry farmer who didn't want to pay his bill. I was lucky to walk again at all," John said, with an almost completely straight face.
"You're lying. I don't believe you've even seen a thresher in real life."
John grinned. "You wound me. No, okay, I was a pastry chef. The leg was a horrible dessert trolley accident. One in a million chance."
"You're not going to tell me at all, are you?"
"MotoGT race bike driver."
"You'll claim to be James Bond next."
"Nah. Pussy Galore isn't really my style. Though I was an underwear model for a while."
Greg groaned and rolled his eyes. "John."
"More Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, me."
"Clearly." Greg frowned. "It wasn't anything illegal, was it?"
"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."
"John!"
"I played tennis at Wimbledon."
"Oh, come on!"
"No, that one's actually true. Only in the qualifying rounds though, and only as a junior. It was ages ago. Lost horribly in my first match and ran away to Australia to live a squalid and sordid life as a cattle rustler."
There was something in his tone that made Greg frown and lean closer. "You're shitting me. You are, right?"
"Yeah." John shrugged. "I herded sheep, actually. Slightly squalid maybe, but not at all sordid."
As they walked up the road, towards Greg's flat, above the shop, Greg turned to John. "So, before you gave in to your life long urge to be a florist, what did you fill your time doing?"
"I repaired farm machinery."
"What, really? Threshers and--"
"Combine harvesters, yes, don't sing the song."
Greg eyed him.
"Had to stop when I got stabbed with a pitchfork by an angry farmer who didn't want to pay his bill. I was lucky to walk again at all," John said, with an almost completely straight face.
"You're lying. I don't believe you've even seen a thresher in real life."
John grinned. "You wound me. No, okay, I was a pastry chef. The leg was a horrible dessert trolley accident. One in a million chance."
"You're not going to tell me at all, are you?"
"MotoGT race bike driver."
"You'll claim to be James Bond next."
"Nah. Pussy Galore isn't really my style. Though I was an underwear model for a while."
Greg groaned and rolled his eyes. "John."
"More Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, me."
"Clearly." Greg frowned. "It wasn't anything illegal, was it?"
"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."
"John!"
"I played tennis at Wimbledon."
"Oh, come on!"
"No, that one's actually true. Only in the qualifying rounds though, and only as a junior. It was ages ago. Lost horribly in my first match and ran away to Australia to live a squalid and sordid life as a cattle rustler."
There was something in his tone that made Greg frown and lean closer. "You're shitting me. You are, right?"
"Yeah." John shrugged. "I herded sheep, actually. Slightly squalid maybe, but not at all sordid."
101 comments:
You forgot underwear model, John. So disappointing.
Clearly the only one in that flat who can claim with any sincerity to be a grown-up is Mycroft.
Thanks a lot, Doc. Now I'm going to have the Combine Harvester song stuck in my head all day.
I have to say I think I'm glad I'm not getting the reference to the Combine Harvester song. It can't be something I want stuck in my head.
Ha! That was great, and did cheer me up. Sorry if I'm about as fun as a wet weekend. I will try harder. And it's nothing for you to worry about so...well, don't.
KHolly - get yourself to YouTube and search for 'The Wurzels Combine Harvester'. You know you want to really.
Oh...and does that mean the ball is now in my court for the next chapter? (tennis pun, oh yes!). Also, you can't have John claim to be a sheep herder and then not make us all Shepherd's Pie.
Shh, you don't have to try harder, you're fine. Just trying to help that's all. I'll even attempt shepherd's pie if you really want me to.
Also I'm going to edit shortly to add the song, and also something about my illustrious career as an underwear model.
Innie - I've added it in, just for you. And yes you are absolutely correct about Mycroft.
DW and kholly - Added the video of the song as well, so EVERYONE can have it stuck in their head, rather than just DW and me.
You do help. All the time.
It's not really Shepherd's pie weather, is it? My office seems to be fighting with Death Valley for the hottest place on earth.
I'd like to think the 'something' is pictures....but I imagine it'll just be passing mention,, sadly??
Cheers, Danger! It might not have lasted long, but a good time was had by all, yes?
L - I haven't got pictures! I'm sure you wouldn't really want them to appear in a public blog if I did.
I've just checked and it's actually cooler in Death Valley right now than it is here. But it's supposed to get up to 45. So. By contrast, Kabul is a mere 33. Do you want us to come by for lunch? Did you eat already?
No, true. They should just go in my private collection.
I assume we've missed lunch by now? Can't believe the boys have gone this long without a feed. I'm running around like a blue arsed fly anyway.
Danger, I didn't mean to open a can of worms by asking how you cook shepherd's pie without marmite. But if it's going to hit 45 it's probably not a day any of you will be interested in any hot food. You probably would be good at rustling any sort of livestock considering you've never lost Sherlock and he seems to take a lot of corralling!
Yeah I did have to feed them, although Sherlock would like you to know he would be happy to let you buy him ice cream.
Azure - forty five in Death Valley, sorry, not here. I cant even imagine the reaction if it got that hot here, though it's hot enough today that we may be sticking to salad.
45 is no fun. The hottest it ever got where I was was 52. After about 40 or so, though, it really stops mattering and just becomes hot. That's also why we didn't mind dust storms so much--at least they blocked the sun a bit (and were great exfoliation treatments!)
Sherlock, i'll buy you ice cream another day. Sorry.
Also, after watching that vid, who's actually playing the tuba? It's clearly not the guy sitting with it on the tractor...
Greg, I hope things are going better at work.
Mycroft, I'll add my vote to those who are interested in your impressions of your schools.
Sorry I've been so quiet lately. I'll try to do better at commenting. (I've been reading, so I don't have an excuse.)
(Although the captcha is stesse.
Cranky - I'm not sure there is a 'better' in my job sometimes. Just different. It's okay though, thanks.
Desert - I assumed they were all miming. I do have a bit of a soft spot for that song, even if it's plagued my life.
He's clearly not playing that accordion either now that mention it. I feel betrayed.
L - are we running later?
Shit. We should. Don't know when i'll be home though.
We can do it late if you're not too tired. It'll be cooler then anyway.
Yeah. I'll be fine. Always fine, Danger, you know that :)
You got something to feed the boys?
I'm sure the Wurzels did play it all originally - but everyone mimed on top of the pops.
Maybe a walk at least. We'll see.
Yeah, Mrs Hudson's making something, and I'm supposed to provide salad, which I can probably do. Sherlock just asked me very earnestly if we could go and get balsamic fig vinegar for the dressing. I think you and Mycroft are having an influence.
Okay.
I'm certain you and the boys can manage salad.
Good on Sherlock. A fine choice.
How can there be four different kinds? Does the world really need that much choice in balsamic fig vinegar?
Sorry about deleting my post - I discovered I'd put the same as John, so thought I'd get rid of it. But now it says "deleted post". I blame the Wurzels (and the heat)
If the world only had what was necessary it would be a sad place.
What's Mrs H making?
True enough.
Roast chicken and potatoes and carrots - all roasted together I mean. The boys are assisting her. I'm lying about trying to plan tomorrow.
Lying about what, to who? Whom? Whichever.
Sounds nice. She's a diamond, eh?
Ha. Lying about on the sofa! Lying to the sofa possibly, although it's not really interested in my plans. Do you have any interest in Stonehenge?
She is. She's amazing.
Stonehenge...it's nearly in God's own country...well, next door. You thinking about borrowing one of Anthea's cars?
Yeah. Maybe see Avebury at the same time.
Thanks a bunch, John, you earwormed me with that bloody Combine Harvester song, and I didn't even click the link!
*mutters*
And hope you guys don't melt over the next couple of days, just saw a weather forecast that says it's going to be up around 30C in London 0_0
You're welcome. Mission accomplished. :)
We'll do our best not to melt. I feel worse for L since I think they'd probably frown on him taking breaks to go and swim.
I prefer Avebury. Really steep hills to roll/fall down.
Nameless - my office is in both a suntrap and a dead zone for air con. I think I could cook pizza on my desk.
Hopefully I can get out to bother some suspects instead.
Not immediately I hope, because I'm downstairs with your dinner.
You what? Here? I mean - at the yard?
Yep, here. Brownies too.
I'm on the way down.
Thought about trying to bribe my way in with brownies, but I decided it wouldn't end well.
It wouldn't if there detente any left for me! I'd have you arrested.
Folks - as if you didn't know - I have the best boyfriend ever, and am incredibly lucky.
Hadn't been. No idea where detente came from.
You can't possibly eat them all anyway! Well, not in one sitting. You have to share with Sally at least.
Would now be a good time to mention I haven't eaten anything but the slice of toast you saw me with this morning? I could make a decent dent in those brownies.
I had a suspicion.
Should be a copper.
We could have done this somewhere far nicer and cooler than my office.
We still could.
And I did bring my helmet etc if you're ready to go home.
Well I'm not going to make you stay whilst I work, so yeah, we can go.
And you be careful, bringing your etc. out in public.
I can get a taxi home if you want to stay?
you be careful, bringing your etc. out in public.
Not a few people were curious about my etc on the way here.
Big difference between wanting to and feeling like I should. I don't want to, believe me.
We'll go. It'll all still be here in the morning.
I'll bet they were.
Excellent, let's get out of here. You weren't joking about the heat. It's much better outside.
Okay. Least it's a short ride home. Who got the job of trying to control the boys? Will the flat still be in one piece?
Mrs Hudson, but Anthea's there if she needs backup. I expect minor chaos at the worst and almost certainly no explosions.
Some days 'almost certainly no explosions' is the best you can ask for, huh?
Absolutely.
John were there pictures of murders? Can I come next time? I'm never allowed to come to Lestrade's office.
There were no pictures of murders that I noticed. You'll have to ask Lestrade if you can visit, but I think not for a while.
But WHY? You're allowed. Everyone's mean to me just because I'm the youngest!
Some other time, Sherlock. Don't act up. I'll organise a special trip soon.
It's not because you're the youngest, but it is because you're young and it's my job to protect you. I wouldn't let Mycroft visit right now either.
Sherlock, I'd rather John hadn't come in, if it makes you feel any better.
Not that it wasn't lovely for him to bring me dinner.
Just like it'll be lovely to see you and buy you ice cream one day soon.
Tomorrow?
I don't know, Sherlock. Sorry. I'll call John when it's convenient.
I AM NOT CONVENIENT.
Never a truer word was spoke, Shortstuff.
But you should be in bed, and probably asleep.
...Heh.
Maybe not, love, but you are sleepy, and you're meant to be sleeping. Give that a shot, yeah? We'll do something fun tomorrow.
(We should get him a t-shirt that says that y/n?)
Maybe not, love, but you are sleepy, and you're meant to be sleeping. Give that a shot, yeah? We'll do something fun tomorrow.
Was that to him, or me? ;)
And yes, we should.
Ha, probably both of you. Maybe me as well.
You do look tired. Boys wearing you out? I could have sworn that should be my job. Sorry.
And I still don't know if I can get Weds off.
A bit. The weather's making my shoulder ache a little too. Well, something is. I'm choosing to blame the weather.
She said it could wait till next Tuesday or Thursday instead, but after that I think we're out of options, sorry.
Want a shoulder rub? Just tell me if I'm doing it wrong.
Stick with Weds and...I'll try and sort something out.
You're a saint, I would love one. Thanks.
All right.
You can polish my halo tomorrow.
You will tell me if I hurt, yeah?
You can polish my halo tomorrow.
How did you make that sound dirty? How?
Yeah I promise.
I didn't make it sound dirty. Your ears did.
Good. Sit there and try to relax.
doing my best
right...after all the paperwork I did today, my hands can't take any more. Hope that helped a bit?
mmm yes, you are a wonderful person thank you. bed now?
Oi, Nameless, where are you? You listening/reading??
Thank you. You're wonderful too. Bed sounds great.
(How did I do, Nameless?) ;)
ha, excellent. positive reinforcement now right? ;) i think i can manage that. if i don't fall asleep first.
You can give me a positive reinforcement IOU. Reckon we're both fairly knackered.
Relevant to Sherlock's interests, perhaps?
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geek-kids/3-7-years/e74d/
Or maybe a warning to the rest of the world?
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geek-kids/3-7-years/ab9f/
Tinkerty-tonk,
Bronwyn
How did you make that sound dirty?
Because "when correctly viewed, everything is lewd".
You are just learning to view things Lestrade says properly!
Bronwyn - that shirt is perfect.
Rider - I dunno, I still think it might just be natural talen on his part...
Nonsense. It's all you.
Come here and let me spoil you rotten, for bringing me dinner.
Well, if you insist.
I do indeed. I can be very persistent in my insistence.
Put your phone down and get over here.
Vengeance is mine, you horrible earwormer, you.
I present, The Arrogant Worms
http://www.youtube.com/watch?nomobile=1&v=TywmpMQYojs
Toodles,
Bronwyn
Lestrade - yeah, very well done indeed *round of applause* :-) I hope you both got at least a little bit of positive reinforcement :-D
Bronwyn, those t-shirts are great. "Self-rescuing princess" would suit my daughter down to the ground.
De-lurking long enough to giggle madly at the video, the florist saga, and the tee shirt...
ok back to my nice cool cave now... Ta
Welcome! Wish I had a cool cave right about now.
Two things I wanted to share, appropos of nothing currently being discussed right now.
1. I made chicken parmesean for supper this evening, just to see if I could be as cool as you, Lestrade. I could, but it was time-consuming as hell. Mad props, sir.
2. I had a dream about combine harvesters. One of them was drinking cider and flirting with the other, which was clearly a girl one, since it had a flower in its...tines or whatever. I hold the two of you responsible for mental pain and anguish.
That is all.
(Word verifier says "thrums" Stop giggling)
Desert - I only cook quick things! And I have a few willing sous-chefs. I'm not cool - just hungry!
Dreams are entirely Danger's department. Or at least, he's the man of my dreams, so I assume they are...
This lurky type dreamed about buying Marmite. My brain, it has been infected.
Bronwyn, just when I think you can't get more awesome, you go and reference The Arrogant Worms. Jesus's Brother Bob and Carrot Juice is Murder are two of my favorite songs. And The Last Saskatchewan Pirate, of course. Good ole Canadian times.
Sherlock, I'm sure there are times where you're not terribly convenient; not sure that's always something to be proud of but I love that you say it with such conviction. Just remember that when ice cream is concerned, sometimes patience and politeness pay off more.
John and Lestrade, I hope than the two of you get some well-deserved downtime soon. It sounds like you both could use it!
Mycroft, I hope you had a lovely time looking around the school the other day; I hope seeing it has made you feel more confident about going.
Bronwyn - that video was...amazing. Ha. I can't decide whether it's safe to let Sherlock watch it or not. ...Probably not, on the whole. I listened to the Last Saskatchewan Pirate one, and I like that as well.
Anon - marmite finds its way into everything apparently! I'm sorry for your pain.
X - thanks, I think this weekend should be a lot of fun.
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