The mostly mobile one has been chasing Sherlock around the sofa for over ten minutes. Neither of them are tired of it yet. Amazing. The baby is trying to eat L's mobile, his keys, his fingers, anything within range, basically.
I imagine we should take them to the park soon if we're going to. And then I really don't, but it seems to be going well so far. It's mostly just keeping one away from electrical outlets and changing nappies. Any suggestions?
I imagine we should take them to the park soon if we're going to. And then I really don't, but it seems to be going well so far. It's mostly just keeping one away from electrical outlets and changing nappies. Any suggestions?
80 comments:
He's just teething. We had a wooden spoon to chew as kids. I remember it always tasted of bolognaise sauce.
You going to drive the pushchair to the park? I fear for other pavement users if Sherlock does. He can barely see over the top of it.
I will, yeah. He can help. Or ask them repeatedly why they can't walk yet. Again.
want to start a book on how many people will stare at us and try to work out what on earth our familial connections are? It's enough with our two...these two as well throw a whole new question into people's minds, undoubtedly.
On the contrary, I think it'll answer question for a lot the mums I see regularly at the park. Instead of wondering why I'm staying at home while my wife works, they'll come up with a whole new set of at least partially wrong assumptions. Sometimes I really wish I could read minds.
They'll certainly think you've got terrible taste in women!
Bagsy a go on the swings. Why are parks so much better now than when we were kids?
*eyeroll* Always fun to have that creeping sensation of people silently making assumptions/judgements about you, isn't it? Wish people would mind their own business.
Enjoy the day, though, and toddlers are pretty easy. Just let them lead you a bit to what they're interested in - probably dirt, so if there's a sandpit at the park you're golden. Also, toddlers love water play, so fill the kitchen or bathroom sink with water, give them some plastic cups and bowls and put towels on the floor! And babies - well, a little peek a boo and a spoon/pot combo (you know, to make noise with) never goes amiss!
Well, what do you expect if you don't shave...
Advanced swing building technology? At least it's not all concrete underfoot so when you jump off the swing at the top of it's arc you don't crack your ankles. Not that I've done that recently.
Mazarin - dirt, right. And I've just realised I'm not the one who'll be washing their clothes later!
I hate shaving.
And yeah, no concrete, more fun stuff, massive climbing frames, slides...our playground was two concrete sewer pipes on the grass and concrete blocks to climb on.
You sure you haven't jumped from a swing recently? I've never asked what you get up to down in the park...
Maybe once or twice. I mainly just watch since Sherlock decided he didn't need me to catch him at the bottom of the slide anymore.
Will you catch me?
Not while I'm holding the baby. I think I'd need both hands for you.
Think I'd crush you.
Right...experiment time. Do babies like swings? (Yes, this is a transparent attempt to give myself reason to have a go on a swing, whilst holding a baby as an excuse.)
(Sherlock is frowning. The toddler 'isn't playing properly', because he's more interested in the piles of leaves under the climbing frame than the frame itself.)
Have fun with that. I'll definitely be taking a picture.
fun is exactly what I intend to have all day, but especially here.
I found a bug! A really big one!
Bigger than the baby?
No but it's really long! Are there bugs bigger than the baby? Can I have one as a pet?
I don't think there are, no.
I have a very wet and chewed shirt collar, courtesy of this little fellow. He is cute though. Got his Mum's smile - obviously she has more teeth.
How long should I leave Danger on the roundabout before telling him it's time to go home...?
We shouldn't go home, we should get ice cream. Can I take the bug with us?
I'm fairly sure anywhere we can sit and have ice cream will have a 'no bugs' policy in place. Besides, you might be taking the bug away from its home and family. Put it back where you found it.
Fiiiine. Can babies have ice cream? If they can't, can I have his?
You should wait for Danger to be ready to go home, otherwise he will stamp his little feet and refuse to move.
Sherlock, I've no idea if they can, but he won't. We've got him a bottle and some fruity stuff (I think)...it's a jar of stuff, anyway. And you can't have his because he won't have any if we don't buy it, which we won't.
SH - I'm hoping I can distract him with ice cream, to avoid that sort of tantrum.
All right, all right. We're done on the roundabout. I better get sprinkles on my ice cream though.
Maybe promise Danger a nice lolly to lick later?
You can supervise all ice-cream eating, and spoon feed me whilst I attempt to get SmallFry here to drink some milk and eat some yummy...stuff.
Have you been secretly looking after babies, or does it all just come back to you when you get handed one? You make it look very easy.
Damn. My cover is blown. My desk drawers, filing cabinets, intray, outray - all stuffed with babies. I'm amazed you haven't noticed before.
I don't know - instinct? Spent the first 15 years of my life with babies around the place. Then Nicky's two...
Well, I didn't notice you were Robocop either, so obviously my observation skills could use some work.
(PS Roger Federer is about to win his match. I hope.)
Hang on - Federicorn is only a few miles away in the Dome...and you spent the say with me, herding cats - I mean kids? Damn, it must be love!
Must be. :)
Ha.
They are both lovely kids. And very well behaved. Even though my ear is currently this one's favourite toy. So glad I don't wear earrings now.
They are much less trouble than I thought they might be, I admit.
So you've both survived? Sounds like you've all had a great day!
We're on our way over to you now.
Thanks, all three of you. And anyone else who helped.
Maybe promise Danger a nice lolly to lick later?
Maybe instead of "enabler" I should have said "instagator!" :D Sheesh, DW, you're almost as bad as Lestrade!
What do you mean 'almost as bad as'? I'm innocent!
Defender of justice, player of peekaboo, innocence personified.
Sal - not 100% sure we want to give them back! We might keep them...
No! We want to give them back. You can have them back now.
Pretty sure L wants to keep the baby, despite the drool on his ear.
I don't think you should keep him he takes up loads of time and is boring and you have to carry him EVERYWHERE and I can't sit in his shoulders when he's got the baby. give it back.
...I think we've hit Sherlock's limit for sharing then?
and he is sort of right. We would never have time. But we could babysit again, right?
Happy to.
It's kind of nice to give them back too, though. With yesterday's run and today's pursuits...I'm knackered. And a bit achey from carrying SmallFry around.
You were very good with him though. With both of them.
So were you.
A natural.
Even Sherlock did well.
Heh. Up to a point, yes.
Think he has more empathy with Mycroft now?
No, I think if you asked him he'd say he's much better than a baby and can talk and doesn't wear nappies so it's not the same at all.
Sounds like you guys had a good day?
Hah, probably.
I think I'm glad that baby questions eclipsed any sex questions!
Nameless - yeah, it was fun.
I'm simultaneously disappointed and relieved that you haven't been inundated with question for your column.
Nameless - yeah, pretty great really.
Simultaneously? And they say men can't multi-task.
There's still time! I'll just answer any that are too risque Anon.
So, looking forward to work this week? Do you finish in time to pick up Sherlock, or is Mrs H doing that?
I don't know. Sort of.
Yeah, drop him off and pick him up. It's only nine to three. I wouldn't feel right about doing it otherwise.
...If you're answering them, everyone will still know it's you, so how will doing it anon help?
I can deny everything.
Anyway, it could be anyone! Nothing could be proven.
You'll be brilliant, you know? Anything I can do to help, just say. Make you a packed lunch, flask of coffee, send you motivational text messages? Book an appointment in the middle of the day to give you a cuddle?
Can I stop by after I pick up Sherlock if you're not busy?
Lestrade, it sounds like you're actively soliciting sex questions...
John, Lestrade's right, you'll be brilliant :-)
Of course you can! You don't need to ask.
Well, I mean, check I'm around, but apart from that.
Nameless, I don't know what you mean...innocent, remember?
Innocent. Uh.huh...
I'm trying to decide how to phrase a question about condiments/food. And the one about numbers of issued invitations. And descriptions of.the various ways beds break. And, of.course, the standard "big spoon or little spoon" question. I'm guessing little spoon since pouch stealing is difficult.the other way...
DW - there's nothing indecent happening with marmite around here. Or jam.
DW - Pouch appropriating only happens on the sofa, really. I don't tend to keep my pouches on in bed. So that's more about sprawling than spooning.
Danger - watching you eat jam is fairly indecent.
There's more to food than Marmite and jam, Doc.
You can count that as two separate questions, then. One for sprawling, one for spooning.
I second DW's "Uh Huh". And am slightly disappointed, because I was thinking about asking a question on that very subject. Shame.
John - I'm not sure I believe you about the jam...
I would never lie about jam.
Which subject, Nameless? And I've answered you other question on my new blog post.
Danger - you'd lie about in jam though. Sticky.
Slander. Libel. One of those. I never would.
written is libel. Spoken is slander. SO if I say it out loud, it could be both...
Oh, except it's the truth, so it's neither!
Ha, too late, you've admitted it.
Would never stand up n court. They'd just have to sit an open jar of jam on the bench and they'd see you turn into a Jampire and let me go, without a stain on my character (but possibly covered in jam, if I didn't move fast enough.)
I'd take offense, but I'm too busy laughing at 'jampire'.
Lestrade - your innocence. And any loss thereof that you might be willing to admit to (but only as part of the Lestallion's Upstanding Column of Love Q&A, of course; I'd never ask such a personal question otherwise).
Told you babysitting would be fun! (At least mostly. :))
I don't think you should keep him
Sherlock, I have a bunch of nieces and nephews, and I always enjoyed playing with them and even babysitting them. But I was also always happy to give them back at the end of the day (or evening). And people tried to make me feel guilty about it, and I DID feel guilty about it, but that's the truth anyway. Babies and children ARE a lot of work.
But then, I don't have children of my own. And my siblings--and my friends with children, and my parents, too, all tell me that having children is worth the work and then some, and I believe them. (They don't say it's not a lot of work, though. :))
Not commenting on jam.
And Sherlock may well come back to the sex questons, now that the babysitting is done, for now at least. ...
So, Lestallion...
What are your thoughts on Prince Albert piercings?
Oh, also! Did you ever think of having John do your nipples ones if you decide to get them done? Or do you think a professional piercer is the way to go?
God, I hadn't seen either of these questions - Prince Albert's, no thank you! I don't...well, I don't really see the point. I mean...well, that. And seems like it might be...uncomfortable and slightly risky, in some scenarios!
And professional piercer, definitely. No offence to Danger, who is entirely free to help with aftercare, but I'd rather have a pro, definitely. Don't want it going wrong.
Oh good. I'm very relieved to hear that.
Well, now I just had to look "Prince Albert" up, and...it's quite an education I'm getting here.
And clearly, L, it is your fault.
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