When we eventually get this Christmas tree, it will be so coated with paper chains and popcorn strings that there will be no room left on it for ornaments. Sherlock's been making the chains out of anything and everything he can find, from construction paper to magazines to pictures of different insects he's printed off the internet...and added glitter to. Glitter on everything.
There's unintentional glitter on the popcorn too. Maybe it'll keep the dogs away from it when they come home. It can't taste good. We had some trouble with the popcorn strings initially. I'd never made them before, and they're very easy to accidentally pull off the thread...or not accidentally, although Sherlock did mostly stick (in some cases literally) to the stuff in the bowl, since it had butter and salt added.
Also I almost set the kitchen on fire making it in the first place. But only almost.
There's unintentional glitter on the popcorn too. Maybe it'll keep the dogs away from it when they come home. It can't taste good. We had some trouble with the popcorn strings initially. I'd never made them before, and they're very easy to accidentally pull off the thread...or not accidentally, although Sherlock did mostly stick (in some cases literally) to the stuff in the bowl, since it had butter and salt added.
Also I almost set the kitchen on fire making it in the first place. But only almost.
135 comments:
We'll have to check the dogs aren't part unicorn, because unicorns like glitter...
You will tell me if I smell tonight, right? We're all used to it now...and all paranoid.
I promise to tell you if you smell. And I feel strongly that you should shower before eating even if you don't.
I still don't think unicorns eat glitter though.
Course they do, a bit.
I strongly feel I should shower before being near anyone or eating.
So glad I don't have to get the tube though. No one would appreciate a pongy pony.
You'd have a nice clear space around you though.
Sherlock wants to know if you're bringing him anything from the flat. He lives in hope.
Almost doesn't count unless you're playing horseshoes.
Sherlock is unquenchably optimistic (if that's the right word). :)
Leaving. Had a shower at the yard, but it wasn't exactly warm. Remembered the name of the place enough to order food? 'it'll be the greying bloke who smells of death collecting it'.
Sherlock, it's a crime scene, so no. And even when it isn't, it's not my stuff to take, sorry kiddo.
Oh, right--I meant to say, you don't have to put all the paper chains on the tree. They look good on walls and around mirrors and so forth, all over the house...just not in the kitchen, or anywhere where there's a way for them to catch fire.
Aren't you grateful to me for pointing that out? :D
RR - they will be everywhere.
L - they're expecting you, and I'm sure you don't smell of death. Much.
That will be very festive. :)
We used to make paper chains for Sukkoth, and they always melted and ran at the first rain. Indoors will be much better.
Surely the scent of curry will overpower any traces of dead things, Lestrade!
What do unicorns eat if they don't eat glitter?
I think we decided on blueberry jam. And possibly peas.
Lemons. If there's one thing that will remove foul stench it's lemons. The acid in them removes the fatty oil that clings to your skin, and it will give you a nice, healthy glow!
Don't ask how I know such things. I'm just very thankful that I do!
...
Peas?
Everyone likes peas.
Indubitably. But the color seems wrong for unicorns.
Yeah, RR. Give peas a chance.
Omg, the captcha was pessa. So close, captcha.
*groan*
i bet it's sparkly jam.
Do I smell?
There's a lingering...something in your hair, but only when I've got my nose right in it. Otherwise, you're fine.
don't dig too deep, there's probably a dead rat in it or something
Are you done, or do you have to go back tomorrow?
Not even partly done.
I won't go all the time, leave SOCO and some others there, but I'd like to be there for the first sweep, really.
(Don't bring home a dead rat in your hair, or Sherlock will want to dissect it.)
Poor man. That's a terrible way to live.
I...hmmm.
It's a terribly sad way for him to have died, absolutely.
But it might not have been quite so bad while he was alive--and he might have been quite happy, with his menagerie, and with whatever other interests he might have had.
Yeah, he did choose it, Danger. I mean, I know he may not have been entirely sound of mind, but by all accounts he was healthy, happy, friendly. His family say they've tried for years to help him have a clear out, but he was just a hoarder.
Obviously all that leading more to us thinking there was foul play - everyone says he was healthier than most blokes his age, and suddenly he disappears and we can't quite work out why he's died.
He's probably worth a few million - with assets, even more. The family think some very valuable things are missing from the flat, but it's so hard to tell until we clear it more.
Everyone likes peas.
Well, mushy peas, maybe.
mushy sparkly peas?
You found a dead cat in his flat! I'm having a hard time seeing how anyone could really be happy and healthy in those conditions.
I know, I know, I wouldn't have been happy - obviously - but...well, I've only got anecdotal evidence, but everyone said he seemed happy. And the reason we can't say for sure about it being murder was that he may have died just from something in there getting out of hand.
The cat...yeah. I think he must just have lost track of it...he did have a lot.
I don't know.
Was the cat dead longer than he was? Maybe the same thing killed them both.
I'm no expert in cat-death, but because it was under stuff, either it died before, or someone didn't spot it and covered it up when they were moving things. It's gone off to autopsy, anyway.
It didn't just lie down and die, anyway, someone/thing was there after, and not just other animals knocking things over onto it.
mushy sparkly peas?
Hmm. I generally prefer food of the non-sparkling variety; but do unicorns like mushy peas? (My phone's autocorrect does not; it keeps correcting them to bushy peas. Which would a whole nother thing entirely).
John - people are strange.
Is Molly going to autopsy the cat?
I think unicorns would.
bushy peas...hmm. The other day, right when I was really not in the mood, my phone 'corrected' 'bloody hell' to 'bloodthirsty jellyfish' - which whilst a great curse, didn't quite get across the message I wanted.
No, Sherlock. A vet is going to sort out the cat. Molly's speciality is people. I'm sure she could do a good job on the cat, but it's better to leave everyone to do the things they're best at.
People are indeed strange. Still, I'm glad he wasn't as miserable as I was imagining. I think I'd go mad living like that.
Are there vets who only do autopsies like Molly does them for people?
Errr...don't think so, Sherlock. I don't really know. The vet doing it is a specialist in small animals, he works with the police quite often.
Can I watch him do it if the cat doesn't have any relatives who would mind?
I don't think so, Sherlock. Sorry.
i imagine he'll do it tomorrow while you're at school, sorry shortstuff
(You really asked very nicely, Sherlock. I bet they really wanted to be able to say yes.)
Yeah, you were very polite, Sherlock.
Maybe you could make Molly a nice Christmas card sometime and we could visit her to give it to her? I bet she'd like that.
I'll make one with bones!
err...what sort of bones? And not tonight, it's almost bedtime.
All sorts.
Okay can I have a story?
so much for me having a bath...
you can.
And I'm not entirely sure bones are a good idea. Couldn't you do her a nice drawing? She does have to deal with body parts all day long.
I don't know what these are made of but I bet Sherlock would like to make them...
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_cqmTifkfjD4/TMljlLC-NsI/AAAAAAAAD50/ygCbLt7vpPA/s1600/Spider-Bites_Article.jpg
(alas the post with them in says nothing of the ingredients. Licorice legs I assume, but not sure what else)
She likes them! Why would she do that as her job if she didn't like them? I was only going to draw the bones anyway, because I can't get good ones except the ones from that fish were pretty good, I bet she would like those.
I investigate murders for my job, doesn't mean I want someone to give me a dead body as a Christmas gift!
Drawing bones would be very...nice. Maybe you could make them festive. (as if we could stop you making them glittery).
Can we make her spiders too?
I'll ask her her feelings about spiders first.
I bet Sherlock is right--Molly might well like it if he drew bones on her card. She'd probably like people bones more than fish bones, because then she'd know which bones they were. (She might not know which bones were which from the fish.)
And maybe some Christmas-y trimmings around the bones.
(Bones and spiders both might be a bit crowded for one card.)
she likes cats. She's got one. She was more worried about the cats today than about the bloke who died, I think... (Only kidding, Molls.)
Not spiders on the card, chocolate spiders from Rider's comment.
Did you know that there's glitter you can eat?
What happens to the cats that aren't dead? Will the man's family adopt them?
We can make some sort of chocolate spiders, I'm sure. But let me check she's not scared of them or something first.
I did know there's glitter you can eat. You can eat gold, too, if you buy thin gold leaf.
And the RSPCA have the cats at the moment, then I expect they'll try to get other people to adopt them.
Think of it this way--how many people do you suppose she knows who honestly think she has one of the coolest jobs in the world?
Chocolate spiders are a lovely gift, Sherlock, but for that it would be good if Lestrade finds out how she feels about spiders first. Just in case.
I did not know there was edible glitter. That would make amazing cake decoration!
I know a worrying amount about glitter these days.
I'll quiz her thoroughly about her animal likes and dislikes (and hope she doesn't think I'm awkwardly trying to chat her up)
Can we put gold on the spiders too??? If she likes them. But who would be scared of chocolate spiders? That's stupid.
It's times like this that I'm exceedingly grateful for my lack of cooking skills.
Maybe, Sherlock. And some people are scared of all spiders - even pictures or anything.
It's bedtime, come on.
Danger, with your steady hands from all that suturing and you knowledge of anatomy and stuff, you'll be chief doctor in charge of leg and eye application.
Even if she's not scared of chocolate spiders, Sherlock, she might not like them as well as something else if she's afraid of live spiders.
I can probably manage legs and eyes.
(Just watched L lead Sherlock upstairs by the hand, Sherlock starting to yawn and still asking him questions about chocolate spiders... I feel incredibly lucky right now.)
That's a very sweet image, John. You're such a lovely family, it's a pleasure to "know" you all through your blogs and get to share in those little moments.
Think we're all lucky.
I've just got to extricate myself from here without waking him.
That little picture totally melted my heart.
Pip - I'm pretty happy to know all of you as well.
Right, Danger. Your vote.
Go to bed.
I'll shower before bed.
I'll have a bath before bed.
You can wash me in the shower before bed ;)
...The internet can imagine whatever it wants - I know it will anyway.... (but it probably won't imagine how I smell...)
You don't smell that bad! Nevertheless, I'll go for the third option. Just to make sure you get clean behind the ears, etc.
Aww, that's so lovely.
And you mean we don't all get a vote?
etc., eh? Don't know if I've got the energy for that ;)
You can vote, Nameless, but Danger get's the final say.
Ha. Well, we'll see, won't we?
c'mon then, you young pup.
Sarah want you back anytime soon?
Just the mornings on Thursday and Friday. Then probably not while Mycroft's home.
Mmm, you're clearly fantastic and wonderful.
Come and give me mouth to mouth, see if you can massage life into (parts of) me.
Fun with Christmas decorations, huh? My lady and I put up a little tree and fairy lights yesterday evening. We don't have any ornaments here, so it's topped with a three-headed dragon handpuppet and decorated with small soft toys (including an abominable snowman in a chainmail shirt), chains from my jewelry-making supplies, paper snowflakes, and little yarn hats. No paper chains and no popcorn or we'd have no hope of keeping the puppy off it.
Good morning to them as is awake!
(I should be asleep but that's not happening just yet. :))
That sounds lovely, H. Savinien.
Hope you're getting some rest now, RR.
I'm off to the House Of Fun again...
Don't envy you at all. Hoping all goes well regarding a certain piece of paper.
Thanks, very kind of you. I'm simultaneously trying not to think about it while realising it is all I'm thinking about.
The stench of death will no doubt put it out of my mind!
Lestrade - good luck with the paperwork today; and with case.
John - I hope the popcorn survives the day :-) Is Sherlock excited about Mycroft coming home for the Christmas holidays?
Lestrade is it true what you see on tv and in movies about putting vaporub on your lips to help cope with smells?
I've never made popcorn chains john maybe ill try that this year. And find the Christmas stuff in the boxes. I'm so pleased.Sarah asked you back again. Are you settling into work okay?
Good luck with everything today, L. It'll finally all be done and over with and finished.
(On actual post topic - why is it I'm always so late to the party? Sigh. Paper chains and chocolate spiders and glitter peas sound like such fun!)
Some of my team use all different methods to help with smells. To be honest, I've been doing it so long it doesn't bother me much. Sometimes I chew really strong gum. It's worse now i've stopped smoking and got a sense of smell back!
Nameless- thanks. The form is burning a hole in my pocket, so to speak. Can't wait to hand it in. 2pm....and the final step is taken.
I don't know if I should wish you luck or cheers or what, but I'll be thinking of you at 2:00 (your time)--it's a landmark moment, that's for sure.
Hope you don't turn up more dead cats, and do find something helpful in the Fun House...
2pm is very anticlimactic. Just handing over a form and paying the court. Then they'll post out the final order when they get to processing it - should be a week to two weeks.
No cats yet. Some things in the kitchen cupboard wich went out of date before Mycroft was alive....
It may be anticlimactic but it's still a big step and worthy of note.
I hope the cupboard contents were petrified rather than decayed...in an odd way it sounds just a bit like an archaeological dig. (At least no one has hit themselves in the head with a pickaxe--that happened to one of the volunteers on one of my brother's digs. ! )
Wait - John, I just saw that you wrote you almost set the kitchen on fire making the popcorn. What, did you try to go old school and do it on the stove, or did the micro take a beating? (er, a smoking?)
I honestly don't think there's much worse by way of burned food smell than burned popcorn. And in thie office, we get a whiff of it almost every day.
You're right, Mazarin, he didn't say! I just assumed you'd made popcorn in a large pot, John, the way we used to pre-microwave, but that was in my head.
It tastes so much better that way, though. I don't know that I'd have the heart to string REAL popcorn...
Wait, you cooked the popcorn?! I thought you were stringing the colonels!
It was the pre microwave sort. I thought Sherlock would like watching it pop.And he did. Of course he was even more excited about the almost-fire.
We could have timed it better, and the smell of burnt popcorn could have eclipsed the smell of dead things.
I didn't even know you could microwave it...old school, me.
DW - do you often string colonels? How does one go about that?
Maz - do people in your office eat it a lot? Or do you work near a popcorn factory? Or...
And morning, lovely boyfriend o' mine. Afternoon, even.
Hello. How's everyone else on you team dealing with the smell of death?
I meant kernels. Stringing up colonels would earn me a nice long vacation at Ft Leavenworth turning big rocks into smaller rocks. Don't know where my head's at, sorry.
DW - Don't deny that you like the idea!
SH
Hahahaha! Colonels! Classic Freudian slip there, DW.
Yeah, for whatever reason, people in my office eat a lot of micro popcorn in the afternoon, and there's always some dolt that forgets that the microwave here is stupidly testy, and will take your popocorn from barely popped to black and smoking in less than a minute. And they wonder why they get such dirty looks when they take off for a loo break while it's cooking.
Some offices in the US have banned micro popcorn pretty much for that reason. I'm almost on board with them.
RR - get the "natural" micro popcorn, then butter and salt it yourself. MUCH BETTER than the yellow...whatever that is, that's on ordinary micro popcorn. Mmmm. Now I want some. Probably because I havne't had breakfast yet. Or coffee. Three hours awake without it is pushing my limits before the headaches set in.
DW - that wasn't on purpose? I'm stunned! And stringing up colonels is often tempting, but I'd think stringing up kernels would be pretty difficult.
You're not making me hungry.
RR happily the food was the sort of stuff that doesn't go off. Tins and dried stuff, mainly.
SH, there might be one or two yes, but I plead the Fifth.
Stunned, John?
I can't believe you can eat at all after being in that house, Lestrade.
L - I could bring you some buttered colonels...
Mazarin, I don't need better-tasting snack food, I need reasons to avoid snack food!
You know, Lestrade, if those tins are old enough they might be worth something as collectibles. (It must be so, I saw it on Antiques Roadshow! "Older than Mycroft" isn't antique enough, however.)
Don't want you buttering up any colonels, thanks Danger. I'm seriously not hungry. If I get back to the office any time I'll eat, don't fret.
RR - there's nothing interesting like that that weve found yet. Some other very valuable stuff though. Someone from Arts and Antiques is now helping, too.
And...I'm just a court decision and a postman away from the end of my marriage, now. Which is...i don't really know. Good. Odd.
I don't imagine the Art and Antiques expert is at all accustomed to the surroundings...
You aren't required to feel anything specific, Lestrade. It's a Good Thing, though.
don't fret.
Just this once, I won't. Not sure I'd want to eat after that either.
Are you okay? I mean, with the dissolution and the oddness, not the smell of death. Is there anything I can do? I know it must be strange.
Bittersweet, Lestrade? It can't be an easy thing. Even *if* you managed to land the cutest Doc on five continents.
My autocorrect keeps trying to change cutest to firearm. I don't understand why.
"Even though," not "even if.". I didn't mean to imply doubt. Sorry. I'll just quit while I'm behind.
Im ok, Danger. Thanks. Just do what you always do - make me feel like the Luckiest bloke alive when I get home each night.
DW - that's how I read it anyway, don't worry :) and firearm....well, he's dangerous and liable to go off in your hand when squeezed in the right places!
Oh, John, Sherlock mentioned something about playing his violin for school this morning - he was very vague. Can you ask Mrs T? If he's playing for a Christmas concert or show I'd like to be there if possible.
Almost there now, I'll ask.
I love you.
Thanks. Love you too.just found a painting here that the a&a DS reckons is worth about 100,000 quid. Madness.
*falls off desk chair*
The question is, is it sill worth 100,000 quid if it smells like death and decay?
*still
That's just what I was thinking, Anonymous.
Oh, sure--a good restorer shouldn't have too much trouble taking care of that.
Well, just think about how many works of art in museums are grave goods...
It might not even be what he thinks it is. We shall send it to an expert.
Little bit of Fabreeze should clear that right up, I'm sure.
I said that to him... the sense of humour is not strong in this one.
Apparently this bloke made his money in dealing stuff like this, so not too surprising we found it. There's other stuff too, buried in amongst crap.
I'm running out of extra strong mints.
*shudders at idea of Fabreeze touching a work of art*
I've read eucalyptus oil on the upper lip works wonders.
Wow.
I've heard stories sort of like this before - there was one recently about a man who'd lived simply in some teeny little house, never married or had children, seemed very alone. And when he died, he'd left like $20 million that no one had any idea he had to the local children's home, as he himself had been an orphan as a kid.
Oddly enough, RR, I don't have any eucalyptus about my person :)
Mazarin - yeah, I talked to his son, who said he was really well off. Clearly something happened to make him want to start hoarding stuff and it went downhill from there... you can tell this place was really nice before it was full of crap though.
If you had a handy minion, you send send him out to buy some eucalyptus!
My sister's father-in-law (he just passed away last week) was a hoarder--my brother-in-law has been trying to clear out his house for over 2 years, since they moved him out because he could no longer care for himself, and has barely made a dent. They don't know what caused it either.
I'm out of there for another day now, anyway.
The smell really doesn't bother me much. Been doing this job for long enough that you get over it. Few people who've been in and out have been a bit green around the gills though.
Loverly.
(Bet it would be fun to have minions, though. :))
From what I've seen, from watching odd American TV shows like "Hoarders" or "Clean House," there's usually a traumatic event in the person's life - their mom or dad dies, their child, they're evicted from somewhere, something like that, that causes them to transfer the love they had for the person or place to things. It literally feels like someone died when they throw something away. It's a definite mental condition that needs serious therapy to get through. The stuff makes them feel secure, and take away that...well. It's not a good feeling for them.
Yeah. We don't know what happened to him. His family don't, either.
Do, however, know he was poisoned. Tox screen is back. Just need to work out if it was deliberate now, and if he did it or someone else did.
It's really, really hard to figure out what causes something like that, even if you live with the person. And there are all sorts of theories.
I guess cause of death is a step forward, but it sure doesn't sound like it's answered many questions for you...
Oh, almost forgot--what was the story with Sherlock playing violin for school?
(I see that you aren't getting a whole lot of help from us in long-johns poll, Lestrade.)
RR - I'll be posting about that shortly. It's a bit of a mess.
Par for the course. :)
RR - you mean Febreze isn't an approved method of deniffing precious artwork? :-p Also, I believe the poll on Lestrade's blog is telling him to buy both :-)
Both is a very valid option. I do need more than one pair!
At the moment, clearly, both it is. :)
You know, membership to the London Library would be a lovely Christmas present for Mycroft and Sherlock, if they don't have it already.
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