On Tuesday, I went to see Dr E. It was mainly getting reacquainted, or perhaps I should acquainted for the first time, given how resistant I was to actually telling her anything before. I'm not terribly keen on it now, but I've realised that there are worse things.
She asked what I wanted to get out of it. I said a lot of things, but what I came to in the end was that it would be good to be able to initiate difficult talks with L without making him feel like it's solely for his benefit, which I think I do. Maybe not intentionally, or at least not with conscious intention, but it's still not good. So. There's that to start with.
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| From here: "This tractography image was made to help the neurosurgeon to choose the right approach for his neurosurgical planning. The surgery was at risk of damaging the visual field, as well as damaging complex sensory and visuospatial functions such as orientation in space, perception and motor functions." |
Rumi
translated by Coleman Barks
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
43 comments:
That image of the brain is stunning--for something so horrifying in meaning (that is a large tumor there, or it seems so to my untutored eye) is it quite beautiful.
And I love that poem--
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
Oh, to be able to see sorrow or loss in that way. It's a good thought to hold onto.
(I hope having a specific goal like that helps make your sessions with Dr. E productive and helpful to you.)
I hope she can help, and that you can get what you want out of seeing her.
Just remember I fell in love with all of you - the perfection and the flaws, the good and the bad, and if it doesn't work out, or you want to wait and find someone else to talk to, or anything like that, I will still love you, and I really won't mind.
I just want you to be happy with what happens, that's all.
Thank you, love. That is really good to hear.
brains are amazing and yet very very annoying things ;-)
Good luck with Dr E John, I can't think of something I would like to do less than go and talk to someone about stuff so I'm really impressed that you've gone and done it :-)
Have a lovely evening.
AnonyBob - yeah, me too. And cheers. Sherlock wants cheese...
I can't think of something I would like to do less
Neither could I, before. Things change.
L - cheese in a specific meal, or just a hunk of cheese to gnaw on?
I just got a text saying 'I want cheese'.
Could be anything then...limburger maybe.
Well, cheese does tend to improve foodstuffs! (Maybe not limberger, though. I don't think it goes with everything, exactly. :D)
GOOD cheese.
Right... we'll have something cheesy. See what you'd like, tell me if there's things we need. Check with John first, to see if it's a reasonable thing to cook tonight.
Something newwwww and exciting!
How about a strode? Goats cheese, mushrooms, pancetta, something green...
Yes, that! Are you coming home now?
...strudel, not strode.
Yeah, coming home.
You been good?
I'm always good! I thought a strudel had apples and things. Can I sit on your bike again when you get here? I sat on John's and I still wasn't big enough but I think yours is smaller.
I hope the sessions work out for you, John. It took me about 5 years to start seeing someone, so I think you're doing pretty good, lol.
I hope you all have a good dinner and a relaxing night!
It'll be savoury strudel.
I don't think mine is smaller, but yeah, come down With Shoes! Do not run out here in your socks! You are nearly big enough.
We'll go back to the off road place soon, so you can try it out for real, wearing all the gear. See how you manage, ok?
I have shoes! And yes we should go back tomorrow!
Thank you for the poem. A timely reminder to be accepting of my whole self, even the 'icky' parts.
Savory strudel, I'd never thought of that. Sounds delish.
Sherlock is now sitting on my bike, wearing my helmet - although I doubt he can see anything.
And making vroom noises.
That image gives me smiles. :)
And a savory strudel sounds yummy!
He essentially has to cling to the tank to reach the bars, lying on his belly on it.
(John makes vroom noises too. I won't tell you when ;) )
He's cutting wind drag!
(I won't ask. :D)
(John makes vroom noises too. I won't tell you when ;) )
I hope he doesn't twist the throttle too much, harm can come to a young lad like that!
No comment...
I've taught him to be smooth and easy.... so no worries there.
And we're not going to the bike place tomorrow. I have to work, and anyway, we need to book it, and take Mycroft.
Don't work next weekend then because that's when he comes home.
Okay, I won't. Remind me, eh?
I will remind you a lot.
Is it really time for Mycroft's home visit? time is flying by it will be christmas hols in no time :-)
Do make sure you keep reminding him, Sherlock :P
I'm off on Sunday, if you want to plan something.
We haven't been swimming for a while.
Swimming and then bats and then mango eggs!
Bed, you!
What about bats?
I can't do mango eggs without a few special things. We can do them next weekend with Mycroft?
I am innnnn bed.
I want to see bats. Is there somewhere we can go to see them where they live that isn't the zoo?
Okay then biscuits instead.
Go to sleeeeeeeeep.
I don't know, we'll find out.
Biscuits it is.
Okayyyyyy.
Bats are pretty cool. I had a lecture all about them today; we learned about the common bats in the UK and their calls, and also how you can 'detect' them and figure out where they like to go and forage. The bat conservation trust have a lot of information on their website that you might find interesting, and there are also local 'bat groups' you can join, and go on walks to try and spot them.
http://www.bats.org.uk/
I hope Sherlock's fast asleep now gentlemen and that you've had a lovely evening together :-)
A savory strudel sounds fantastic. And I hope you can find some bats soon. Have you run across this picture of a baby bat yet?
John, I can't decide whether I like the image or the poem better in this post. I'll probably think longer about the poem though. And I'm glad you and Dr E have something to talk about now!
Good night
rsf
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