LESTRADE, WILL YOU PLEASE ANSWER YOUR PHONE? OR THE FIFTEEN TEXTS I'VE SENT YOU?
Because I've got a fun game for you. You'll enjoy it. It's called Guess Who's Got Your Warrant Card, and I'll give you a hint to start out with: it's not you.
Oh, and he's short, dark-haired, and enjoys waking people up at 5am to demand pancakes. And he just tried to arrest someone on our way to school.
Because I've got a fun game for you. You'll enjoy it. It's called Guess Who's Got Your Warrant Card, and I'll give you a hint to start out with: it's not you.
Oh, and he's short, dark-haired, and enjoys waking people up at 5am to demand pancakes. And he just tried to arrest someone on our way to school.
49 comments:
Sherlock making arrests with Lestrade's swiped warrant card. That might be the cutest thing imaginable.
Heh, looks like you might be in for the beginning of a long line of swiping IDs for the better good. This gives me an opportunity to ask: what is a warrant card anyway?
I'm also curious what Sherlock was trying to arrest someone for.
Paging Dr Danger - hard to answer phone when being shouted at for about an hour straight regarding lack of warrant card during attempted arrest of suspect. I assumed I'd lost it or been pickpocketed - by a criminal, not a five yr old. (and now you're not answering your phone. You haven't been thrown in jail for posession of a stolan warrant card/impersonating a police officer, have you? maybe I should ring around your local nicks.)
Where are you? Can I pick it up? He hasn't glued a picture of himself in it or anything, has he?? And dare I ask what crime he tried to arrest someone for??
Sorry, its been a complicated morning. Could you possibly come to his school to pick it up? ...and talk to this nice constable who I'm sure is only trying to do his job?
Sorry, sorry, got caught up in a complete shitstorm regarding solicitors and rules. Yes, I'll do both. Sorry my last answer was so grumpy. See you soon. Hope you didn't have anythig important to do today. And that the constable is being nice.
I'm sure Sherlock's antics aren't half as adorable to you two having to live through them, but all I can say to this is awwwwww. You've got a burgeoning detective on your hands by the sound of it.
I'm also curious to know what he tried to arrest someone for. Onceyour coronary is over I hope you'll share the details. :)
He is not being nice, and if he thinks he's waltzing into Sherlock's classroom, scaring the children, and very possibly getting Sherlock expelled, he has got another thing coming. Several other things. I only wanted him to get the damn thing back to you!
Oh for... Is Sherlock ok? Did you get the bloke's shoulder number or name? I will rip him a new one.
I'll talk to the teacher - Sherlock wont be expelled, promise. I'm sure he didn't mean to do anything wrong.
Sorry, I may have overreacted there. I know he only wanted to talk to Sherlock - or at least I assume he wasn't going to clap him in irons and haul him off - and probably it wouldn't be a horrible idea for a normal kid, but Sherlock's position at this school is so tenuous, and he's only just getting used to these people, and I really don't want him to have to start all over again.
By which I mean you probably shouldn't rip him a new one, even though I really want you to. But yes, I did get his name.
Dear everyone who is not Lestrade,
Sorry, I'm not ignoring you. I'll tell you all about it later, or Lestrade will. That might be better. He'll probably be calmer about it.
xoxo,
JDW
Calmer? Right now I feel a very long way from calm.
what did I say about big brother instinct last night?
My hero. :)
Better than me, at least. I think at one point I threatened to call his mum. The PC's mum, not Sherlock's, although I imagine that would've been more effective.
I just spoke to him. At one point i think HE wanted to call his mum.
And I might be expelled, never mind Sherlock
Uh oh. Are you really in trouble over this? I could come and talk to people? Threaten to call their mums?
I almost feel sorry for the constable; I'm sure he came out of it wanting his mummy.
Hope Sherlock and you both are all right, and that no mums need to be called and no one is expelled from anything!
No, I'll be fine. Their DCI wants the money for the locker out of my wages, and I'll be here forever tonight trying to catch up on everything I should have been doing today. And my typing isn't fast at the best of times, let alone one handed. But no long term harm done. Just tell Sherlock to call me or 999 next time someone needs arresting.
How much would it embarrass you if I came down to to look at your hand? Say on a scale of 1 to 10.
I refuse to answer on the grounds you don't tell me which end of the scale is which.
Then I'm coming anyway.
I seriously have to get some work done today or I will be in trouble. And shouldn't you be making sure the 2 are okay and leaving the 0.5 to suffer for his not very clever actions?
...you may possibly have a point.
Not your fault. I understand the wall punching impulse. Think I was mostly looking for a way to put off the talk I know I've got to have with Sherlock. He's all right, but he needs to understand that this is not okay.
Try not to make him hate me? I know you will, but...
And I'm not sure, but I might have somehow, in my rush to get out of there, agreed to do something at his school. Talk to the kids or something. Make them all like coppers again after their scare this morning. I don't even know what I agreed to, if I'm honest. Help?
I mean I know you'll try, not I know you'll make him hate me. Sorry, it's late, my brain's failing and my hand hurts. Done cold cloth on my knuckles and taken Ibuprofen - anything else I should do?
Sorry I took your card, I didn't know it only works for policemen.
Thanks, Sherlock. Just please don't take anything from my pockets again. Sometimes there's dangerous things in there, and I'd hate for you to get hurt.
And if you see someone who needs arresting again, just tell John, or your teacher, or another responsible adult, okay?
See you tomorrow night, I hope. Maybe we could make that fudge if I'm there in time?
xx
Oh gosh! D: Wow, what a day. I hope you're all doing better now, and that Sherlock's learnt that he shouldn't try to arrest someone until he's at least 1.70M tall. D:
L - Sherlock said, and I quote, "YES FUDGE AND STORIES." Although, does the night shift mean no fudge? (If so, don't worry about it - he'll survive.)
About your hand, ice would be good if it's still swollen, as I imagine it is. It wouldn't hurt to get it X-rayed and make sure nothing's broken. If you come by tomorrow I'll take a look at it.
Night shift's next week. I should finish about 1900 tomorrow. I'll try and get out on the dot so there's time to fudge-making before bed. Try and explain fudge can't be eaten when it's made though...I do not want to fight with him over a pan of boiling fudge.
X-rays, experience tells me, are pointless. They just say there's nothing they can do about it regardless what it shows. If it's not better by tomorrow night you'll have to be mine and Sherlock's sous-chef though. Haven't got any ice, but had half a bag of peas on it for a bit when I got home. Aches a lot. No more than I deserve though.
Dear God, your journal's gone all 'day of the triffids'. And either I've had more scotch than I thought or I can't read half of your text.
I bet Mycroft can make that doodle I did of you the background. You wait til I see him.
Elizabeth - it was cute, I admit. But I still wish he hadn't done it.
lawless and X - warrant card would be a badge in the US. He tried to arrest this awful kid (I say kid, probably 16 - 18, definitely not Sherlock's age) for throwing stones at a dog. I'd be proud if it wasn't for the stealing...
Lupe - Ha! Quite right. I'll tell him so.
Can you still not read it? It looks all right to me...
They just say there's nothing they can do about it regardless what it shows.
Maybe, but we still like to know these things. As long as I get a look at it tomorrow though, I won't insist. I can definitely chop things, and Mycroft says he'll help too. There will be no fighting over the fudge, promise.
Also, you say Day of the Triffids like that's a bad thing.
I'm really glad that Sherlock tried to use the warrant card for great justice.
And the fudge really only requires two actions: measuring and stirring (you will be stirring for a long time - let those five-year-old biceps take on some of that work!). Good luck!
Thanks. :) We'll put the kids to work then, except for the very hot parts.
(I'm glad too. That's the bright spot in all of this.)
I know I'm probably entirely too late to the party, but for faster, less messy fudge, you can always try this one:
Ingredients:
1/2 pound Velveeta cheese, sliced
1 cup butter
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup chopped nuts, pecans, walnuts (optional)
2 (16-ounce) boxes confectioners' sugar (I think it's called icing sugar overseas?)
1/2 cup cocoa powder
Directions
Spray lightly the bottom of a 9 by 2-inch square pan with a nonstick spray.
In a saucepan over medium heat, melt the cheese and butter together, stirring constantly until smooth. Remove from heat and add the vanilla and nuts.
In a large bowl sift together the sugar and cocoa. Pour the cheese mixture into the sugar and cocoa mixture and stir until completely mixed. The candy will be very stiff.
Using your hands, remove candy from bowl and press evenly and firmly into pan. Because of the amount of butter in this recipe, pat the top of the candy with a paper towel to remove the excess oil. Place pan in freezer until candy is firm, about 30 minutes to an hour.
It sounds horrible until you try it and then it makes an incredibly smooth, soft fudge. Wonderful stuff.
Good luck with Sherlock and Lestrade's hand!
Tinkerty-tonk,
Bronwyn
And that should read 9x12 inch pan. Curse my fat fingers.
Tinkerty-tonk,
Bronwyn
Danger, hand still fat. Last two knuckles. Sally will no doubt make itetter with one of her icy stares which clearly say 'IDIOT'. She's good at giving me those.
Bronwyn, what on earth is Velveeta cheese? Danger, you've served with Americans, right? Do you know? And you're right, it does sound horrible...
Oh, and the paper just reminded me, it's pancake day! We have to have pancakes. Lemon and brown sugar on mine. Jam on yours?
'It better' that's meant to say. Hand clearly still useless for typing. Am just glad I chose a left handed jab, not a right handed punch, or I'd really be in trouble.
I do not give out icy stares. But you are an idiot, Sir. Even if I would probably have done the same thing, if it were my 'little brother'. If you want an Icy Stare you should go ear the DCI, I think he's got it in for you today.
Velveeta is a smooth orange substance, supposedly cheese like in nature. I think really it's made from plastic. I'm sorry, Bronwyn, I'm not sure I can bring myself to put it in fudge.
L - You can still move all your fingers, right?
That sounds...alarming and horrible. No offence Bronwyn.
Danger - i could. But I'm choosing not to, largely because of pain. Better than it was though. Just fat, and kinda...yeah, painful. Dr Sally diagnosed cracked knuckles. And threatened to sellotape the fingers together. Having punched a few things in my time, I conceed the first knuckle may possibly be cracked, the second one's just swollen in sympathy though. And I'm not letting her near me with office supplies. If anything needs to be taped to anything you can do it tonight. She's not renowned for her bedside manner. The team voted her off being first aider last year, owing to her apparent enjoyment of our pain.
It's highly alarming, although not as alarming as Cheez Whiz.
Just as long as you can. I don't recommend wiggling them about or anything, but I think the sellotape would be overkill. Of the things you could've chosen to punch - wall, locker, his face - you probably picked the right one.
That velveeta cheese sounds like the stuff Kraft slices are made out of. Is it the same thing?
Google informs me that Kraft makes Velveeta, so I suspect they are the same, yes.
Mmm, you missed out the all important fourth option 'nothing'.
Leaving on time is looking good - hope I'm not speaking too soon! Any ingredients you require?? And you better have a decent pan for flipping these things...
We've got all we need. Just bring yourself. As for flipping I think my plan is, as usual, to make a huge mess.
Lord, no, Velveeta's not cheese. It's a processed cheese food. Which really just means it's a salty fat that's stable at room temperature. It's not even cheese-flavored honestly. Just orange and very salty.
My students and I have put it to a variety of uses for which the manufacturer never intended it and it's practically tasteless. Once you get over the mental hurdle.
I'm good at that. Mental hurdling, I mean. I'm informed reliably that people shouldn't think like I do. Oh well. Your loss on the fudge, but enjoy your real fudge anyway!
Tinkerty-tonk,
Bronwyn
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