Wednesday, August 21, 2013

murray and lestrade

Well. Murray went up to surprise Lestrade at his conference. There was champagne and there were Homer Simpson boxer shorts, apparently. Later, Murray got himself handcuffed to the bar. That was after he got them kicked out the jacuzzi.

The evening appears to have been a success. Although I don't like to think of the state of L's head in the morning.

I called Murray cheeseface in the comments and promised to explain. It's a short story. He once loudly announced to a bar that fromage was better than fucking. He meant frottage...although he did not stand by his statement when questioned later. There were speculations about what sort of bedroom activity would involve cheese, and he got a new nickname. It's probably best not to think about it too hard.

Right. Going to try sleep again. 

73 comments:

Olli said...

HAHAHAHA, that's a dreadful story but I'm grinning from ear to ear.

Murray got himself handcuffed to the bar.

I see what you did there. I'm sure that a masked intruder swooped into the bar with the handcuffs and that poor Murray was powerless to resist? You are an amazingly loyal husband(-to-be).

John H. D. Watson said...

As someone who's often wanted to handcuff Murray to something, I know where my loyalties lie! ;)

REReader said...

Hee!

(I'm sorry I was out this evening and missed the play-by-play--that is, I'm not sorry I was out, but I do wish I had seen all those comments as they came in! )

Hope you managed to fall asleep again, John.

pandabob said...

Thanks for the funny story John, it seems like Murray brings a whole world of entertainment (or should that be trouble?) wherever he goes ;-)

I hope you managed some sleep at some point and that you have a good day, you aswell Greg :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

happy to say Murray looked far worse than I felt this morning. but then he doesn't have to sit through a meeting.

pandabob said...

Are you finished yet Greg? Have a fun trip home when the time comes :-)

You having a good day John?

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, done! Just having lunch with a few of the guys then heading home :)

Murray has dissappeared ... Watch out, world :)

Kestrel337 said...

Drive-by, surprise stag night. Everyone should have such friends!

John H. D. Watson said...

Anonybob - both entertainment and trouble, always. :)

I did get back to sleep, thanks everyone.

Greg Lestrade said...

i'm nearly home! what are we going to do to celebrate? :)

John H. D. Watson said...

Going to kiss you a lot to start with... what do you want to do?

Greg Lestrade said...

Errr.. No, that sounds like the best idea. I'm not going to try to beat it

Greg Lestrade said...

i'm just going to get the bus back from the station.

You have a lot of kissing better to do to my head. Given Murray is your fault. Even NHS approved doctor kisses won't get rid of my headache, I don't reckon.

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh don't say Murray is my fault...you have no idea how much trouble I'd be in. I will try to fix your head though. And Mycroft is making dinner.

Greg Lestrade said...

his presence in my life is your fault then. The amount of whisky in me is, therefore, your fault.

John H. D. Watson said...

That I'll accept the blame for. Are you already on the bus? Do you want a ride back from the station?

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm just walking up road. Got guitar etc so biking harder.

REReader said...

Welcome home, L!

Greg Lestrade said...

Sherlock leapt on me from halfway up the stairs and stuffed a strawberry into my mouth.

REReader said...

There are lots of worse ways to be greeted, for sure! :)

Greg Lestrade said...

It was all lovely. Strawberries, kisses, the smell of dinner cooking, being licked by the dogs...

REReader said...

It all sounds beautifully homey and welcoming. :)

Greg Lestrade said...

it's very nice. Although I was right, John's kisses have yet to cure my headache. He needs to try a larger dose ;)

John H. D. Watson said...

That can be arranged.

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm intrigued, Dangercakes. Following recent news story...

Have you ever removed anything well...like the fork stuck down that guys cock? I mean, soldiers must get bored...

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah, although nothing quite that...unwise.

Greg Lestrade said...

catheter was 100% more than I ever needed inserted up there.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm glad to know I'll never come home to find you with a pencil stuck in there.

Greg Lestrade said...

well, you know, if I ever get REALLY bored...

;)

REReader said...

...?

(If L says it, don't google it... *not googling*)

John H. D. Watson said...

If you get that bored, at least use something you can sterilise!

Greg Lestrade said...

Haha! God, I love you, Doctor Watson.

You are, and always will, do the most amazing job of bringing up the boys, and putting up with me. You're perfect.

John H. D. Watson said...

I love you, too. Regardless of what you decide to put where…

Greg Lestrade said...

Want to swim tomorrow? If Mycroft feels like it, with the results and all?

I need to pop to the Yard sometime, but nothing urgent. Just got to drop things off, sort out a few things. Be less than an hour.

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah, that would be great. I think I'm more nervous about his results than he is. Even though I know he's done brilliantly.

Greg Lestrade said...

He does have at least a very calm outer...

But the amount of work he did, I'm sure it'll pay off. :)

Kestrel337 said...

Mycroft is lucky to have so many people who believe in him.

I am very carefully ignoring the whole rest of this conversation because I was quite happy not knowing about putting things in places. Picture my fingers in my ears and la la la la la.

Greg Lestrade said...

Kestrel - there's no accounting for taste. Some people like it! I've seen a few guys do it...knitting needles and stuff. But....yeah, never quite seen the attraction.

John H. D. Watson said...

Knitting needles would be a much better choice than a fork.

Greg Lestrade said...

yes, well, a fork is just.... I mean, WHY??

John H. D. Watson said...

I just...have no idea.

Greg Lestrade said...

Murray probably would... he got a bit obsessed with my nipples in the jacuzzi yesterday.

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh god... Do I need to apologise for him?

Greg Lestrade said...

errr...only if, during some ill advised tea drinking session since he's been back, you somehow hypnotised him to become entranced by my nipples?? Otherwise I don't think I can blame you...

John H. D. Watson said...

Ha. That's not what you said earlier.

Greg Lestrade said...

Oh! Well, yes, I misunderstood. You can apologise for the presence of Murray in my life, yes. You can't apologise on his behalf for a sudden interest in piercings.

You also can't blame me if he turns up with his own done.

You can blame him for being the sort of guy who sneaks up on people in jacuzzis, brandishing a bottle of champagne with no accompanying glasses, then proceeds to get a law abiding DI chucked out of his very relaxing spa experience for swigging it from the bottle under a sign explicitly stating 'no alcohol'. An no petting, too. Which the nipple thing very nearly breached...

John H. D. Watson said...

I would blame him, but I'm too busy not laughing...

Greg Lestrade said...

going to be forced to entice you off for an early night - you can welcome me home properly ;)

John H. D. Watson said...

I can't think of anything I'd like better.

Anonymous said...

One of my friends used to be a phone sex dominatrix. Some of her clients would get themselves started before calling her to cut down on the amount of billable time spent on the phone.

Only time I ever saw her widen her eyes in surprise was after a guy described what he'd done, what was currently happening, and asked her what he should do next. Her response was "go to the emergency room." I asked her what happened and she said it involved a screwdriver and blood. O.o

Ella

REReader said...

*shudder*

(I have to say, the only non-knitting use of knitting needles that occurs to me is, in a way, the exact opposite of a sex toy...)

Anon Without A Name said...

Mystify - good luck with your exam results today :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Victim of autocorrect there, Nameless?

Anon Without A Name said...

Oh, arse.

Yes, Lestrade, my autocorrect clearly in the same frame of mind as me at this time of day :-p

Mycroft, sorry - both I and my autocorrect do know you name, honestly.

Small Hobbit said...

Echoing Nameless there, with the correct spelling, Mycroft.

More tea, Nameless?

Anon Without A Name said...

SH - oh yes, please (see, that's what happens when I try to comment in a tealess state) :-)

pandabob said...

Good luck Mycroft :-)

Mycroft said...

Thank you, everyone.

Anon Without A Name: I shall be forever thankful that autocorrect did not decide to dub me 'Mycroftycakes'.

REReader said...

Now you've gone and put that notion in my head...

God luck, Mycroft. :)

REReader said...

Good. Good luck!

(It's 5:00 am here.)

Mycroft said...

Thank you, everyone.

I'm very happy with my results.

pandabob said...

great news Mycroft :-D

Enjoy the rest of your day

REReader said...

Yay!

(Don't pass up such a great opportunity to do something celebratory!)

Small Hobbit said...

I'm delighted to hear it.

And Well Done!

Murrray said...

Condolences, Mycroft.

murray said...

...I meant congratulations. Head still not on properly.

Greg Lestrade said...

He did brilliantly :) he's just too polite to say so.

Murray, your head doesn't deserve to be right yet.

Kestrel337 said...

Condolences to Murray, and Congratulations to Mycroft.

I hope you are doing something amazing and fun today to celebrate.

murray said...

My head never deserves to be right, have it on good authority.

Greg Lestrade said...

Just better sober up soon. You've got an important job to do!

Anon Without A Name said...

Well done, Mycroft! And I'm not quite sure where my phone got Mystify from, but it was pretty apt, given my sleep-fuddled state of mind at the time; I'm pretty sure I've never used any combination of words that would result in Mycroftycakes :-p Although, it does have a certain melifuous quality...

Murray - you survived! Sort of. Did you have a good time with Lestrade, whiskey and handcuffs?

murray said...

Greg - don't worry, Mycroft will keep an eye on me!

nameless - you make it sound so SORDID...well done. ;)

Greg Lestrade said...

He will. Two very well qualified eyes. He's used to looking into black holes and red dwarfs and glimpsing Uranus.

Post a Comment