Around ten this morning, a very large man came into the surgery, went up to the receptionist, and said, 'I've got a knife, right, so you've got to let me see the doctor right now.'
He had one hand in his coat pocket, presumably holding the knife. The receptionist rang for me to come out. He explained the situation re: his supposed knife. I asked him to step into my office so I could take a look at him.
Once inside, I explained he'd have to remove his coat and shirt, at which point he pulled his hand out of his pocket, grasping not a knife but a paper-wrapped package. 'I don't have a knife,' he said. 'It's just chops. Can I put them in your fridge?'
We put them in the fridge. I listened to his breathing, and the police arrived a few minutes later. He looked confused, said he hadn't done anything wrong, and explained about the pork chops. They took him off in a police car anyway. He left the chops behind.
As if that wasn't odd enough, one of Lestrade's colleagues stopped by an hour later to make sure everything was all right. Said he'd heard that 'Lestrade's doctor was in some trouble...again.' I hope I'm not getting a reputation...
He had one hand in his coat pocket, presumably holding the knife. The receptionist rang for me to come out. He explained the situation re: his supposed knife. I asked him to step into my office so I could take a look at him.
Once inside, I explained he'd have to remove his coat and shirt, at which point he pulled his hand out of his pocket, grasping not a knife but a paper-wrapped package. 'I don't have a knife,' he said. 'It's just chops. Can I put them in your fridge?'
We put them in the fridge. I listened to his breathing, and the police arrived a few minutes later. He looked confused, said he hadn't done anything wrong, and explained about the pork chops. They took him off in a police car anyway. He left the chops behind.
As if that wasn't odd enough, one of Lestrade's colleagues stopped by an hour later to make sure everything was all right. Said he'd heard that 'Lestrade's doctor was in some trouble...again.' I hope I'm not getting a reputation...
89 comments:
I love how you're 'Lestrade's doctor' btw (a bit like how Lestrade is Sherlock's DI).
Also how his colleagues care about Lestrade so much that they check on his doctor
Hi Trills, good to see you again!
I love how you're 'Lestrade's doctor' btw
Ha, yeah. It was kind of him to stop by, too. Just...an odd day, all round.
Hi Trills!
Well, Danger, we do have a big screen and siren at the yard that goes off every time you're involved in trouble :)
Was it Dimmock?
It wouldn't surprise me...
It was Dimmock. Did he say something to you?
well bet you didn't expect that kind of entertainment when you left the house this morning ;-) it will give you a good story to tell Sherlock though I'm guessing.
L's collegues know just how important you are nowadays so they will be taking special care of you :-)
Anonybob
No, he's just the only one I could think of who's in who would check up on you.
And those chops should be evidence, really.
said he hadn't done anything wrong
HADN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG?!?!
It's a good thing he didn't try that in New York--line-jumping is a capital crime here, and we don't wait for the police to take care of it!
(I'm really glad it was pork chops and not a knife, John. :))
Yeah, he seems like a nice guy.
I suppose they might've taken them without me noticing - I was trying to calm everyone in the waiting room down. I'll check tomorrow.
RR - I'm quite glad it wasn't a knife as well!
What does it say about you that the receptionist on being confronted by a man supposedly with a knife concludes that their non-appointment must be with you?
Glad that it was funny!
Lancs. Anon
Ha! Nothing good, I suspect... But the only other doctor in this morning is older than Mrs Hudson, so I'm glad she picked me!
I suppose so but I don't think anything uniquely qualifies you to deal with pork-chop wielding headcases!
Lancs. Anon
Ha, true enough. I'm sure he'd have done as well as me in this case, but if the man had actually turned out to have a knife, I'd much rather the receptionist called me, that's all.
I'm going to have words with your receptionist. Or give you my stab vest. Or at least a frying pan...
It's not as if we get knife/chop wielding headcases in there every day! She did ring the police as soon as she could.
Or at least a frying pan...
For cooking the chops?
I'm not sure John should cook chops after last time.
I'm glad you're all right, John, and that it wasn't really a knife.
SH - I did think about it being for cooking the chops, but decided it would be safer and end with fewer people in hospital if he just beat the guy around the head with it, to be honest.
Hey Mycroft, good day at school?
Thanks, Mycroft... What, you don't think I should try again? Get back on the horse as it were? They were only a bit burned.
John: maybe sometime when you're sure Sherlock won't distract you.
Lestrade: yes, it was all right. We're reading The Frogs now, and I like that one. And some of us have got permission to go out tonight with a telescope if it's clear.
You definitely can't cook horse until you've mastered other meats. Especially beef... :)
I hope the night stays clear for your stargazing Mycroft :-)
I can't believe that you will all pick on John about his cooking after the day he's had, he must be traumatised enough by chops without being reminded of burnt ones ;-)
Hope you're all having a nice evening
Anonybob
AnonyBob - after a shock it's important to get back to normality, right? Picking on John's cooking is normality.
I did stop short of bringing us home pork chops for dinner. Just.
Thought not short of asking me when he got home if that was a chop in my pocket or was I just happy to see him...
You haven't told me which it is yet....
What, it couldn't be both?
for once I am going to stick with picking on John is not fair on him :-)
It looks like you're recovered from the shock though John and I hope he brought you something very nice home for dinner as a treat :-)
It could be... I suppose. Pleased to meat you too.
Don't you mean pleased to meat you moo?
Gentlemen, that is not punny.
(Or rather, it IS! :P)
Indeed, very pheasant to make your acquaintance. I'm sure veal get on famoosely.
Lestrade, you're going to get someone's goat with all those puns. You'll feel sheepish then.
--ANJ
ANJ - You think it's a misteak? Danger can take a little ribbing you know... I'm still waiting to see what's in his pocket, though... pork chop or T-Bone?
OK, I gotta delurk here out of sheer morbid curiosity and ask...did he say why he was so desperate to see a doctor?
No, he never got that far! I would also quite like to know.
Here's hoping there's not a death in custody for a certain DI to investigate tomorrow then!
Anon - don't joke...are you joking? I might ring the local nick...
Man goes to doctors desperate enough to see him that he threatens violence and noone checks what's wrong with him before they arrest it?! Not sure if I'm joking or just hoping that a police doc would have looked at him.
I'm sure someone saw him once he got where he was going. He wouldn't have let them forget.
John, seeing how good you are with keeping the boys' ages up to date in your journal's subtitle, maybe you should revise the journal's proper title as well? Just so no one else decides to make a liar out of you like a chop-wielding, desperate man?
I thought youd have called Lestrade to help, he usually likes playing your hero doesn't he?
This is utterly bizarre. He's desperate enough to see a doctor that says he has a knife (but doesn't go to A&E), actually has a couple of pork chops, then doesn't understand what he might have done wrong. Sounds like the guy has a problem :-(
It's very sweet that one of Lestrade's people came round to check on you though :-)
They both make great heros don't they Ttid :-)
I hope you're having a nice and less pork choppy day John ;-)
Anonybob
Danger doesnt need me playing the hero - he's entirely heroic enough on his own! :)
Nameless - maybe he just wanted to see John, rather than a doctor ;)
Innie - I can't change it now, I'll jinx myself!
Everything okay, John? (4:23 is a bit early for you to be up for the day, so...)
He is getting a lie in now. Although I've no idea why he was up earlier. And he does need to get up any minute....
A few minutes extra sleep in the morning is the best sort of gift... ;)
Wow, I go away for three days and I come back to find pork chops and sperm are the topics of the day! :D Only on these blogs ...
Hi Ro, yep, all we're waiting for is the inevitable song ;)
I can't do songs SH will poetry do?
Three days in the life of these boys
Are anything but playing with toys
As bizarre as you thought days could be
Just log on right here and you’ll see
You could never imagine such joys
Excitement walked into John’s day
In a strange and rather humorous way
A man with a mystery illness
Claimed the knife in his pocket meant business
For an appointment he was determined to stay
As he took off his raincoat for danger
John could tell it was something less major
He produced a small bag from the shops
That was filled with a number of chops
John was sure no one’s day could be stranger
Greg’s day had been plodding along
And the evidence he held was quite strong
Then a phone call brought a suggestion
And a very difficult question
With answers that could never be wrong
Two women who wanted a child
Had the name of a father to find
Would Greg feel like offering his seed?
To meet the two women’s need
Now how that put a twist in his mind.
It will take more than three days to make
A decision on the route life will take
But one thing’s for sure in this place
Though the talking’s not all face to face
We all know whose lives are at stake
So John may have thought that his pork
Would beat anyone’s day by a fork
But somehow Greg’s sperm
And where it might squirm
Took the award for the weirdest day!
Ha! That is amazing, Anon. :)
Anon, that is amazing - thank you for writing it.
thanks John, SH
Glad you don't mind me butting in with it.
That's great anon :-)
I'm quite a fan of poetry/songs :-)
Anonybob
That's stunning, Anon. Thank you!
(Since the comments on L's blog are almost at 200...)
Good morning, all, anybody awake?
Awake and at work.
And how was Sherlock after his late night?
Sounded like it was a nice evening all round. Which is lovely, of course, but I imagine it doesn't make your decision-making any easier. (And by "your" I mean both of you.)
Thanks pandabob
thanks Greg glad it didn't bug you me just butting in with it! You pair do have very interesting lives!
He got up late, but he's not too bad.
And...I think it has made my decision easier, actually.
I'm glad Sherlock wasn't too tired after his exciting evening and I hope you and john aren't too tired after yours either :-)
Seeing everyone in person and together, watching how they interact is going to make things easier on the mind than it all being theoretical I would have thought.
I hope work treats you well today and that you're almost all healed from the plate incident ;-)
Anonybob
Anon - no one here butts in. All are welcome.
AnonyBob - getting better. It's that doctor-glare that still smarts ;)
Not to be too forward and nosy, but I hope we hear what you decided someday. I know we don't have the right to it, but I do admit I'm a bit curious if there will be a tiny Lestrade in the world at some point.
(Sorry--I fell asleep just about when you answered, L!)
Anything that helps with decisions like that is good, so I'm glad it helped. :) (And I'm also glad Sherlock didn't have a bad morning, too!)
Maz - I thought I'd probably do a blog post about it this evening.
Maybe you'll remember to look after yourself if John burns his glare into your brain ;-)
I'm glad you're getting better but please be careful with yourself in future :-)
A blog post is a way to lay it all out Greg, will make interesting writing I would think and fairly interesting reading for all us fusspots as well ;-)
Anonybob
I do try and be careful! Dangerous job and all that. And then it's only once the adrenalin's gone you realise something hurts a bit, by which time I want to get the bloke processed and booked in and in an interview before he has a chance to think about it all.
Okay. Sorry, I'm just a bucketful of awkward of late, and it seems I'm getting it all over everyone.
Well I don't think you were being awkward! Is tell you all everything here and now... but then what would I have left to blog about :) anyway, I need to take a bit of time and make sure I say it right.
As far as I'm concerned, anything i talk about on here in open for discussion.
I know you try to be careful and actually I know it's a stupid thing to say because in reality you're right your job is dangerous and sometimes adrenalin is what gets you through not thoughts of being careful BUT women are funny things and those with small people are even weirder because even when 'be careful' is the daftest thing to say we still find ourselves saying it!!
so how about, when you realise something hurts please get it looked at rather than please be careful would that be OK?
I'm looking forward to that post, L.
It's a big--and very personal--decision either way, and it's very generous of you to share it with us.
My gorgeous boyfriend and young ward are suspiciously quiet today.
Don't have too much fun without me, you two.
The flat may be slightly boobytrapped...
Slightly....
Only slightly. No tiger pits.
Should I book out my riot gear from stores?
Any livestock involved here? Sherlock?
(Sounds like you've been having a good afternoon! :))
women are funny things
I really don't think it's gender-related...
I didn't mean it in any offensive way nameless sorry.
No livestock were harmed. Even L made it in with only minor difficulties.
Ha!
No, I wasn't afraid for the livestock--I know Sherlock would never put the degus' health at ristk! I had more in mind his interest in venomous insects and the like. :)
What was the nature of the booby trap, now it's been sprung?
Sorry, AnonyBob, I didn't mean to be pissy. I'm having a bit of a day of it, I'm afraid :-(
John - did Sherlock have any particular reason for bobby-trapping the flat? Or have we all jumped to the wrong conclusion, and it was you who booby-trapped the place?
It's not a problem Nameless I should probably have really said I was a funny bugger who found myself saying 'be careful' to people all the time for fear something might go wrong and I hadn't tried to stop it rather than saying women do it. I really think it might just be a me thing!!
Sorry your day has not been great.
I'm glad you no one fell into a trap John but it sounds like it might have been a fun afternoon :-)
AnonyBob - is this where we hug? :-D
For those who remember the Duck Tours discussion a few weeks ago, the Queen and DoE were on one today in Liverpool. Pics (which made me laugh - Her Maj is not one to crack smile unnecessarily) here http://www.metro.co.uk/news/899402-queen-makes-a-splash-riding-duck-boat-in-liverpool-on-diamond-jubilee-tour and here http://twitpic.com/9lzy5m
I'd go for shake hands and discuss football Nameless ;-)
On that note the queen was here yesterday and looks more like shes in pain than smiling to me ;-)
http://www.burnleyfootballclub.com/page/LatestHeadlines/0,,10413~2774611,00.html
days late in saying this anon but great poem!
the talent in this place amazes me!
do the badgers have a gig booked yet?
EBSanon
ok seriously does the spam filter have something against me?! I don't think I said anything that was spam, but hey ho.
EBS anon
No one understands the spam filter I'm afraid EBSAnon. It works in mysterious ways... it's put my comments on my own blog in spam before!
how can your own comments be spam?
anyway I was only complimenting the talent around here, anons new poem was lovely, and asking if the badgers had a gig ;)
EBS anon
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