Innie wanted to know: What made you decide to become a doctor and a soldier? How did you make that pairing work?
By the time I was 12 I was pretty sure I was going to be a doctor, because...well, just because. I don't think I ever thought seriously about doing anything else. Other than being an underwear model, obviously.
I also wanted to get far away from home, and I wanted adventure, and not to spend my life looking at ingrown toenails, which was our GP's gloomy prediction for my future when I mentioned what I wanted to be when I grew up.
The Army wasn't the first thing I thought of - I thought maybe a charity organisation of some sort - but I think it was always where I was going to end up.
My grandfather was in the RAMC, in World War II. He was killed in France when my father was quite young, but he wrote him letters the whole time he was in Europe. My father started reading them to me when I was...maybe two or three? So young that I can't remember a time when I hadn't heard them. I've probably still got most of them memorised just from hearing them so often.
Even so, when I started talking about the Army, both my parents thought it was a phase and I'd give it up when I learned more about it. They had a point, in a way. I obviously didn't have a clear grasp at 12 of what I'd be getting into. Grandfather didn't exactly sugar coat his stories, but even so.
But the more I learned, the more sure I was that it was the right thing for me. And it was. There was never a time when I had to question if what I was doing really mattered, and that's the best I could ask from any job.
By the time I was 12 I was pretty sure I was going to be a doctor, because...well, just because. I don't think I ever thought seriously about doing anything else. Other than being an underwear model, obviously.
I also wanted to get far away from home, and I wanted adventure, and not to spend my life looking at ingrown toenails, which was our GP's gloomy prediction for my future when I mentioned what I wanted to be when I grew up.
The Army wasn't the first thing I thought of - I thought maybe a charity organisation of some sort - but I think it was always where I was going to end up.
My grandfather was in the RAMC, in World War II. He was killed in France when my father was quite young, but he wrote him letters the whole time he was in Europe. My father started reading them to me when I was...maybe two or three? So young that I can't remember a time when I hadn't heard them. I've probably still got most of them memorised just from hearing them so often.
Even so, when I started talking about the Army, both my parents thought it was a phase and I'd give it up when I learned more about it. They had a point, in a way. I obviously didn't have a clear grasp at 12 of what I'd be getting into. Grandfather didn't exactly sugar coat his stories, but even so.
But the more I learned, the more sure I was that it was the right thing for me. And it was. There was never a time when I had to question if what I was doing really mattered, and that's the best I could ask from any job.
91 comments:
Thank you for answering my question, John. Hearing your grandfather's letters read aloud sounds absolutely amazing, and inspiring.
And this - There was never a time when I had to question if what I was doing really mattered - is so crucial, because there's so much wrapped up in what you put out into the world. I'm glad you have that sense of purpose again.
There was never a time when I had to question if what I was doing really mattered, and that's the best I could ask from any job.
Most people don't think of their jobs that way, and it says a lot about you that you do.
I'm glad you found something that you loved so much. Goodness knows the military can use all the good docs it can get. Not all of them have your combination of compassion and steel and others are clearly just.biding their time until they can go back to "the real world."
I think it's brilliant that you knew what you wanted to do with such conviction.
I also hope you know what you do now really matters too. Maybe not so many lives in your hands, but two such young ones, and with such potential.
You're wonderful.
Given that Remembrance Day isn't a day off here in Ontario, the memorial ceremony downtown was held today -- just got home from it, actually. So given that the post is on an appropriate subject, I just wanted to say thank you, John. No matter the reasons behind becoming a doctor and a soldier, you've definitely made a difference. Thank you everyone else who reads this blog who has also served as well.
You're clearly still making a difference now, in different ways -- I know that saying you matter to the boys and L is a vast understatement! But... yeah, thank you.
I also hope you know what you do now really matters too. Maybe not so many lives in your hands, but two such young ones, and with such potential.
I'm sure you don't need me to endorse this...but it's true all the same. (Three, really--because you know L needs you, too.)
(My captcha was "pregs". Is there something you're not telling us? ;D)
X - Isn't it a holiday? I work at TD and it's closed on the 11th.
John - It's funny. I have a friend who lives in Texas, who recently joined the Army and who had to miss his brother's wedding (and almost his own) because the Army has rules about skipping out of training. I've had a hard time understanding why he joined up - I thought, for a while, that he was going for the adventure and excitement and what you see soldiers doing in movies, but that was never the kind of person he was, and he always got his excitement and danger from (American) Football and Snowboarding. But then you said this: " There was never a time when I had to question if what I was doing really mattered, and that's the best I could ask from any job.
So... basically, thanks for helping me understand why my friend signed up. It won't keep me from worrying about him, but I understand, a bit.
(And now for something completely different... I just thought about a sort-of army story you could tell on the blog. Afghanistan was a joint effort, right? So, what kind of Americanisms or Canadianism or otherwise non-Britishisms confused you or made you giggle?)
RR - only if one of the boys has invented a method of male pregnancy.
I wouldn't rule it out--just not yet. Probably. :D
this conversation happens far too often around here for my liking
Complain to your captcha generator. I didn't come up with it!
We sometimes think Mycroft runs it.
Babies don't exactly seem to be of interest to him though.
It doesn't seem to be his sort of humor, no...but then again...Mycroft? If it is you, HA!
I'm fairly sure he's got more important things to do.
I feel sure he could juggle far more than he's got on his plate now with no trouble at all.
(I don't really think it's him, though. Probably not.)
There was never a time when I had to question if what I was doing really mattered, and that's the best I could ask from any job.
John, this was a lovely post, thank you for sharing it. Like everyone else, the line above really stood out for me. And, like everyone else, I believe it's as true for your job now as it was then.
(Oh dear lord, I think your captcha is getting obsessed, it just gave me "ovulag" :-p)
(Oh dear lord, I think your captcha is getting obsessed, it just gave me "ovulag" :-p)
*giggling hysterically*
(The cough medicine might have something to do with that. I can't be held responsible.)
Random -- it's not a stat holiday, though, as Ive been told and Wiki seconds. NS, AB, etc, schools and /all/ businesses are closed for the 11, but not here as I understand. I know the only reason my office is closed Friday is that the other offices in my company are all in places where it is a stat holiday (such as NS and AB). When I lived in Halifax, you couldn't get groceries or a coffee at Starbucks even on the 11th. Good idea, really.
The captcha on this blog is disturbingly sentient sometimes n
RR -- glad I'm not the only one who has that reaction to cold medicine. People tend to give ms strange looks when I tell them that it hits me harder than alcohol. Last time I took DayQuil was in my undergrad: giggled inappropriately all the way through class (we were studying poetic forms so it really was not amusing) then went home and passed out, dreamed that a flock of bluejays was in my room making a mess of everything, and got up in my sleep to close all the windows and close off the cracks under my doors.
Haven't done that since, haha. I try to avoid taking anything if I can, actually.
You want to make sure your cold medicine doesn't have alcohol. (Mine is alcohol free and it still makes me silly.)
Sherlock, I just put up a video of me doing t'ai chi sword form here, and (in my medicated haze) it seemed like something you might like to see. It is t'ai chi, so it's sort of like in slow motion. (You don't have to be polite and pretend to watch it if you don't want to.)
You can come on job with me anytime, RR - just bring your swords!
I don't 'believe' in any cough/cold medicines. Would rather have a hot toddy before bed and the odd paracetamol if needed.
Hee! They make a good show, but my being able to break cement blocks--once I can do that regularly, that is--would be far more useful, I think, because if you can break blocks, you can break bones.
Theoretically, of course.
I don't like taking cough medicine either, because it makes me loopy. But I'm supposed to attend a play reading tomorrow afternoon and I wanted to see if the suppressant works well enough that I can go. (This is only a test...)
I find blocks tend to stay far stiller than bones...
Do not adjust your set, this is just a test?
Danger, you're being very quiet. You okay? Sherlock still drowning out all your thoughts?
True. Also they are considerably less brittle. So maybe impressive swords are the way to go after all.
Yeah, "this is a test of the emergency broadcast system"--I guess I was free-associating a little too freely!
I meant to say--bones are less brittle than blocks, but I see I got that wrong way round. Oops.
the swords look about the size some of them round here carry. I'm sort of assuming yours aren't too sharp, though?
Just...trying to work out what to say to everyone.
Unedged, totally. The broad sword weighs 3 or 4 pounds, but it's brittle enough that if someone sits on it hard it'll snap--that's what happened to one of my classmates. :) The straight sword is also unedged but it's thinner--more apt to bend than break on the flat of it--but because it is thin it sort of has an edge but it's not sharpened in any way. They are just practice swords.
A broomstick or baseball bat would probably be a more effective weapon, but there's the psychological impact of a sword. Although I haven't done much in the way of sparring with them, just forms, and those more as a way of extending energy. It's an odd feeling, extending one's senses out to the tip of a sword.
You don't have to say anything, love.
RR - We'd have to sharpen them up if you were out with me!
Oh I dunno, having been whacked on the elbow with a blunt sword it does tend to make you stop for a bit!
I've been fencing with proper swords (as in rapiers and broadswords not foils and epees) for some years and all it does is make me think I wouldn't want to do it for real.
Especially with 2 handers... way too easy to be an inch or two out, a degree or two off, a second or two late, and eat steel.
(Much of the time with a 2 hander I hit them OK, but they hit me too! Which is alright for the fencing school, have a laugh and try again. But with sharps, no thanks.)
Even bods who get their swordfighting ideas from the movies can get lucky after all.
I was more meaning that the ones we encounter would be sharp, so may as well have an even playing field.
Having seen what a well placed baton can do to people, I know blunt instruments are very effective at stopping people.
I wouldn't want to try to do more than block a sharpened sword with one of my practice swords--I think they could hold up for that, if I took it on the edge, and I think I could do that, it's a matter of redirecting the thrust. But they ARE practice swords, not fighting swords, and although we are taught what each move is for (in the fighting sense) and I do keep that in mind, that isn't at all the same as actual fighting.
A good whack with the side of the broad sword over the head would likely take out someone, and that's a move I've practiced in the form and by itself.
The Grand Master of my system sometimes takes out real, sharpened swords and practices with them--not often, because of all the half-trained people around--and he had us handle them a couple of times. His are HEAVY--I think the long sword weighed a good 16 pounds, I don't think I could fight with it, not now. (Give me another decade and we'll see. :))
John, I think we know. (((hugs)))
You don't have to say anything
You sure? I don't want to be... I don't know. Rude. Or something.
I can't speak for everyone, but I imagine no one would think you rude. As RR said John, I think we know. (((hugs)))
Sometimes a comfortable silence is better than awkward words, in my experience.
(not that I suggest you be silent, either...just don't have to say anything on any subject you find it hard to articulate in. People do know.)
Thanks.
Yeah. Maybe tomorrow.
John, your childhood desire to be a doctor is way more worthy than my childhood desire to be a hitman or criminal mastermind. (In my defence, I lost the desire to be either when I realised the reality involved a lot of inflicting harm on others, and it wasn't all about travelling and doing interesting things and being a cool lone wolf type).
Ro - Heh. I'm not at all sure that's not Sherlock's current career of choice, too.
he could go either way. but there's less boring paperwork being a criminal mastermind than a Met detective.
there's less boring paperwork being a criminal mastermind than a Met detective
Ha! True--but it's harder, and therefore more fun, to solve puzzles than to create them. And in today's computerized world, who's to say that criminal masterminds don't have piles of paperwork anyway?!
I've never arrested a criminal who has sighed, shrugged and said 'At least it gets me out of the paperwork'.
Whereas if I was kidnapped or something by a criminal, that would be one of my first reactions.
That's all I'm basing the supposition on.
Ah, but were those arrestees criminal masterminds mere flunkies, or simple independent operators? I'd think heading up an organization of any sort would involve a good deal of record-keeping. (Based on being a freelancer, although not of the criminal persuasion.)
And please never be a position to actually have that reaction. Because being kidnapped would be Not Good.
(There should be a comma after "masterminds". Or that sentence makes no sense.)
Yes, but then there'd be all the reports to complete in triplicate once you'd been rescued.
just don't have to say anything on any subject you find it hard to articulate in. People do know.
Yeah, this (John, you have a wise boyfriend - but I guess you already knew that).
RR - great video! Very controlled, very graceful.
RR - all sorts. Bosses, middle managers and employees. None ever been grateful I got them off doing paperwork.
I shall try not to get kidnapped. Imagine John, Mycroft and Sherlock would be pretty angry if I did.
SH - I'd engineer an injury which prevented it. Get Sal to do it all.
Lestrade: Lol! Yes, my actual job is much more boring and worthy. (You should see the pout on me at the moment). No drilling bank vaults for me.
I bow to your superior experience.
Not to mention Nicky and her family, Mrs. Hudson, Mrs. H, Sally and the rest of your team...and all of us, if it comes to that. *glares warningly*
Thanks, Nameless!
I'm about to be kidnapped - or consumed, at least, - by the old records vaults. I may or may not return. We might head out and harass a gang again. (not just for fun. We're certain we know the two gangs involved in this shooting. And they're mainly around at night.)
Danger, hope you're sleeping. See you in the morning.
John, you have a wise boyfriend - but I guess you already knew that
I do. And that's especially clear tonight.
L - RR has a point; have you ever arrested an actual criminal mastermind? You can think about it and answer in the morning.
Not sleeping this second, but I think I will be shortly. Good night, everyone. Thanks for your patience.
When I was Sherlock's age, I wanted to be "either a baby doctor or an elephant.". No, that's not an autocorrect error. The desire to be a doctor outlasted the desire to change species, thankfully.
John, backing everyone who pointed out that you don't have to say anything. We won't take it amiss (though I will say that I am sorry if my possibly maudlin first post made you uncomfortable or upset in any way. Since I'm from a long line of veterans on both sides of my family, Remembrance Day things always hit me hard; sorry to have brought that to this venue).
When I was little, I wanted to be Christine in the Phantom of the Opera musical. I thought I'd be a lock since we /had the same name/. I also wanted to be a highwayman after hearing the poem the first time....
Decided to completely start the last drawing I was working on over again; I might do something else first though before retrying just to distance myself from the frustration of it, haha.
(and the beginning of my previous comment you can feel free to disregard entirely too, btw. Not looking for a comment on the subject, promise :))
X - it's not you, or anyone, don't worry. It's more a combination of everyone being very kind, which always throws me off, and trying to talk about all this at all.
I'm not really a natural talker about...well, anything I really care about. This post took forever to write. And it's worse if I can't make a joke of it, which I can't with this. So I'm just a bit stuck for what to say.
I hope that all made sense. I'm not really awake.
Well, if it would make you feel better we could try being mean and nasty. *bats eyelashes*
When i was a child I wanted to be an Astronaut or a scientist. The very last thing I wanted to be was a librarian like my parents.
And now I'm a librarian. It's rather more interesting than I expected.
John -- perfect sense, especially given the time of the morning. But on any subject, know that we don't expect you to reply to anything, especially if it was hard to talk about to begin with.
On an arting note, today's contribution. Decided in place of trying to fix or redo the not-fairy-wing picture, I'd draw a massive Jude Law instead. Mmm Jude.
It didn't come out nearly to my satisfaction as I'm drawing while tired and is obviously unfinished (again, too tired/lazy to finish the hair/hand/coat) but HEY I DID SOMETHING: http://flic.kr/p/aCyP6w
You keeping your head down around those gangs, Lestrade?
Doing my best, RR. They're not being exactly cooperative.
Best is best. Just, well, watch your back, okay?
"There was never a time when I had to question if what I was doing really mattered, and that's the best I could ask from any job."
I cannot tell you how much I agree and felt the same way.
When I was younger I had a lot of things I wanted to be, from a marine biologist to an interpreter to a teacher, to a soldier.
Thanks for sharing this, John! I hope you have a good night, and a great few days with Lestrade.
Am doing, RR. Only casualty tonight is my shirt. Needs some buttons replacing. Criminals will try to rip my clothes off, y'know?
Clearly, they can't resist your charms. Or your cuffs.
I believe John has a monopoly on that. You need to explain that quite clearly to the criminals before he takes it the wrong way and has a word with them himself...
(This is my clever way of expressing relief that it was no worse, could you tell? Because that sounds a little close for comfort.)
DW - I think he was trying to resist my charms quite strenuously. But he gave in in the end ;)
RR - just some good old fashioned resisting arrest. I shall assure Danger that he's the only murder suspect I've allowed to do such a thing properly. And even then only after he was no longer a suspect.
Well, you sound quite cheerful about it all--it's one way of staying awake, I guess! And you're off in less than an hour, so I'll wish you a safe ride home and good night...:)
Night RR. And yeah, cheerful it wasn't any worse.
Thanks for the company!
Just another hour or so and I can fall face first onto the bed and enter a comatose state.
I need coffee.
L - Still at work or taking Sherlock to school? Either way enjoy your sleep when you get there.
J - don't appear to have commented on your post, probably because I couldn't find the right words to express how good it was. And no, like the others I don't expect you to say anything, we do understand.
Have a good sleep, Lestrade :-)
X - your drawings are brilliant :-)
Wow, X. That's lovely.
RR, are you getting enough sleep?
Thanks for the company!
My pleasure!
RR, are you getting enough sleep?
No. :(
I didn't figure so. Any particular reason? Besides Lestrade's scintillating conversational skillz, I mean. ;)
Partly this stupid cold, partly worrying about everything I have to do. It's okay, I'm used to it, actually.
I think if we did a poll, most of the people 'round here wouldn't be getting enough. Except maybe Sherlock. It may be one of the signs of reaching adulthood.
Oi, my conversational skills are second to none!
I don't think Sherlock gets enough sleep for someone his age, but it seems to be enough for him.
And morning. Or afternoon, even.
Good morning, for me--and to you!
Ha, yes, it's Lestrade's fault I didn't sleep enough--your turn to be responsible for something!
They are always publishing studies saying that most adults are sleep-deprived, so I guess ypu're right, DW.
I used to wake up before dawn as a child, myself, and it didn't seem to do me any harm. If Sherlick isn't falling asleep in school or walking around with dark rings under his eyes, I wouldn't worry.
SherlOck!!! (Why on earth would predictive text go THERE?)
I did say your skillz were scintillating. We all know you have a golden tongue...
Random Anon Lurker - I'm glad it helped. I know it can be a hard choice to understand. Harry thought I was completely mad for doing it and was convinced I'd see sense right up to the day I left for training. I hope your friend finds that it's the right choice for him, too.
X - that's brilliant, and I am once again really impressed. Great expression on him. And I'm sure he'd appreciate the amount of hair you've given him.
You wanted to play Christine, or you wanted to actually be Christine?
DW - hold on, did you grow out of wanting to be a doctor too, or are you one? I don't think you ever said precisely what you were doing over there and I didn't like to ask for fear of being too nosy, but…obviously that's no longer stopping me.
RR - we could try being mean and nasty.
Ha! I wouldn't want to tempt you, having seen how you handle that sword.
*snerk*
Well, we aim to please. Whatever you want. :)
Random, DW, thank you so much! If you have any specific picture requests as I move forward, do let ms know. :)
John: hah, it was an older source image, so he did still have gorgeous hair. Sigh. I think when I do greyscale pics I should stick to pencil rather than pencil crayon -- smudges more, but is erasable!
On the Christine front, i wanted to play her since I love singing. I probably wanted to /be/ the Phantom, since he had mystery, magical skills, and a whole opera house to wander around in.... But then Darth Vader was my favourite Star Wars character when I was 4 or 5, too. I wanted him to win vs Luke, who I thought was whiny.
Do you have any childhood heroes that really shouldn't have been? I always found the baddies more compelling. :/
Sorry, that should have said Anon, not Random. I think I wrote Andm by accident and my phone stepped in. Wasn't ignoring you, Nameless Anon!
X - I'll take that thanks as a down payment - I hadn't seen the drawings when I went to work this morning, but you've got a real talent!
John - Thanks. I'm sure it is the right choice for him... Just hard for me to get it, I guess.
John, just got home from work, but I saw your question at lunch, so I've been thinking most of the day about my answer. Firstly, I think given how willingly you've answered questions (even difficult ones) you shouldn't worry about bring nosy. I, for one, will answer any question asked of me, with the usual provisos for on-going operations, classification, etc.
To answer your question, I neither grew out of wanting to be a doctor nor am one. I went. To college at the Air Force Academy, which is like Sandhurst/West Point for the AF. It's extremely hard to get a slot to medical school from there. Only a handful from the 1000 in eqch class can go. I was not the best cadet; I struggled a lot mentally, emotionally, physically for lots of reasons. So much so, I. Spent more than half my time on probation. I didn't sign up for the classes I would've needed to apply to med school because I'm not smart enough to have done well enough to be competitive. At the time, I was fighting just to stay in, and adding that on top would have finished me off. I was crushed when I realized I'd have to sacrifice being a doctor to being an officer.
Eventually, I got my degree in political science, which, in some military logic, explains why I'm in communications (networks, phones, airfield navigation systems, etc.) now. I suppose I could have left to go to a civilian uni and gone to med school that way, but by then that would have felt like quitting. I've really enjoyed comm, especially working with enlisted troop, so maybe it's for the best?
TO;DR. I never outgrew wanting to be a doctor, I just wasn't smart enough to do it from the school I attended.
That... Was intensely long and more than you wanted. Apologies.
DW, I was in communications! I worked in the shelters providing the secure communications.
How are you liking being back in the states?
Small world, Pip! Did you enjoy it?
It's been a little bit of a culture shock. Just little things, like looking for an MoT test instead of the DMV/DOT. Or looking the right way when crossing the street, which I haven't seemed to master yet. :)
I'll feel less like a transient once my stuff gets here. But the.base and the town are lovely and you couldn't ask for nicer coworkers, so...
DW - as long as it's not more than you wanted to say, it's not more than I wanted to hear. How much I share here is my own choice and sometimes it's a difficult one, and I wouldn't want anyone to feel obligated to say more than they want to - not that I think you did, but just to be clear.
From what I understand, the Air Force Academy is bloody hard to get into, and to graduate from. It sounds as if you picked a difficult road for yourself and I'm sorry it didn't end up where you wanted it to.
I do think that life offers us more than one way to be happy and to live well (though I'm not sure I would've said that a year ago), and I'm really glad that you've found a career and a life you enjoy.
DW - I really liked being in communications! In fact, I was just waiting for my top secret clearance so I could be transferred to the White House when I was injured. I was really disappointed when I was medically discharged, but I guess everything happens for a reason.
Oh, well! It was fun while it lasted.
I'm really sorry to hear that. You must have been good if they were sending you to WHCA. I admire your equnanimity, very much.
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