Thursday, February 2, 2012

in victorian novel terms

Remembering of course that I can't tell you eighty...no, now make it ninety percent of what's going on... The map we found, and the directions Mary's been getting seem to be related. I'm starting to have an idea of why Mrs Holmes picked me for this, and it hasn't got a lot to do with my investigative skills.

In other news, we might have snow this weekend, or, to put it as Sherlock has, several times: 'IT'S GOING TO SNOW AND SNOW FOREVER AND WE CAN SLED TO SCHOOL EXCEPT I WON'T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL BECAUSE THERE WILL BE SO MUCH SNOWWWWWWWWWWWW.'

He lost his tooth at last, put it in the designated tooth fairy box under his pillow, and went to sleep, barely. He's scornful of the entire concept of course, but still happy to have both the chance of catching me making the switch and the money. Happily, he slept through it.

We've got Mycroft coming home this weekend, and if it doesn't 'snow and snow forever', L suggested we go to an indoor ski place, where they make their own. I am hoping for real snow (see blog background), but that sounds like fun as well. And maybe better than ice skating, in that snow is softer when you fall down on it.


99 comments:

innie said...

It sounds like you can't say much about it, but is it your sharpshooting that landed you the Mary-job?

Who's going to shovel the snow? That's the question that needs to be answered before you ask for vast quantities of the stuff, I think.

Sherlock, I'm so pleased your tooth popped out! And you're lucky too - when I explained very carefully to my mom that kids in America get money for their teeth she gave me such a look. Same one she got when I explained the concept of trick-or-treating. She cannot deal with the idea of her kids "begging." Ah, the joys of being raised by immigrants.

REReader said...

VERY intrigued as to the reasons you think Mrs. H picked you for this investigation--hopefully you'll be able to share that at some point? (And I wouldn't be so fast to dismiss your investigative skills, by the way.)

Woo hoo on SNOW FOREVER--although I feel confident that if it does, there will be nevertheless be school, and you'll manage to get Sherlock there one way or another. :) (And as Innie says, who shovels it makes a big difference. Snow is HEAVY, especially when you are trying to move it!)

Whether or not you get snow, it sounds like it's shaping to be a wonderful weekend, with Mycroft home and snow in one form or another!

Mackenzie said...

Just when I make a mental bet to myself that this blog can't get any more adorable, it is immediately proved wrong. Now I owe money to myself.

Poop.

Greg Lestrade said...

If it snows enough we could break out a shovel and do the pavement, but snow shovelling isn't a 'thing' here, because we rarely get enough to worry about, and everyone's paranoid about shovelling their bit and being sued when someone slips on it...

REReader said...

Well, of course it's not like you live in an American suburb with a driveway that you have to clear to get your car out of the garage, not to mention a long walkway from the street to the front door, all in addition to the pavement that runs the sprawling length of your house. (I don't either, but my sister in New Jersey does. Happily, she also has a son in high school. :)) I guess the pavement in front of your building isn't terribly long?

Greg Lestrade said...

Not really, no.

Danger, I think it's to do with your investigative skills, your James Bond-like good looks, your tenacious wish for truth and justice and because you're fantastically kind and Mary needs someone like you on her side. (not necessarily in that order)

REReader said...

That helps. (Although snow us still heavy if you have to move it. Oddly, it's not at all heavy if you're playing in it. Magic.)

See, John? A DI knows from investigative skillz. And the rest, too. :)

Anonymous said...

Sherlock - If there's enough snow for long enough, your school might extend your term in the summer so you can't go out and play when the sun is shining.

Greg, John - I know we don't need to say this, but be careful. Snow can be a tricky little ..er, can I swear on a family blog?

John - Mrs. H picked you because of her faith in all of your abilities. Here's to hoping that you won't need to use all of them, but if you do, that it all works out well.

Mycroft - Hi hi hi! You're back! How has term been?

~A from NW

Desert Wanderer said...

I'm starting to have an idea of why Mrs Holmes picked me for this, and it hasn't got a lot to do with my investigative skills.

Does the map lead to an underwear factory? Is it an underground rap battle? A food-eating competition? The possibilities are nearly endless...

Greg Lestrade said...

And I'm the one who's called 'wicked'? DW, I'm going to get Mrs Hudson onto you!

(although they are fine, fine suggestions...)

Anonymous said...

Still no snow in Paris, but it's gotten very cold too. Also an information that might be of interest to Sherlock : in France today it is "la chandeleur", which a day to make crêpes (thin pancakes). Well originally it's got something to do with the presentation to Jesus to the temple, and even more originally it's a pagan holiday with candles that got something to do with purification and the approach of spring, but now, mostly : crêpes ! I'll go and make some and hope for snow.

CzechReader said...

Candlemas is bright and full of sunshine in Prague as well. I was so hoping that winter would give up soon but it looks like no go.

No snow here and no predictions of snow either despite -12°C during the day. This is kind of bad because lot of plants will be burned by frost but from my viewpoint of a city rat there is one advantage: dog owners are not trying to hide dog poo in the snow and the streets are more or less clean...

Anonymous from Paris: crêpes! Good idea!

DW: food-eating or food-fondling? (Yeah, guess what I was looking for when I found these blogs, hmm...) :-)

John H. D. Watson said...

DW - it is an underground rap battle. How did you guess??

A from NW - er, can I swear on a family blog

Well...we do, though we try not to. Everyone slips up sometimes. There was a time when the F word made up about 30% of my vocabulary and now I can barely even think it without my brain editing it out. (And yes I feel ridiculous writing 'the F word' but it's better than the alternative.)

Innie - but is it your sharpshooting that landed you the Mary-job?

No, thank goodness. Or maybe tangentially, in that she might be in some danger by the end of this, but it's not mainly that.

Greg Lestrade said...

Hey doc. Good day at work? Does shortstuff now want crepes for dinner? (or creeps, my phone suggests)

John H. D. Watson said...

Naturally. He wanted them with ice cream on top, but I told him that wasn't happening.

Work wasn't bad, no garlic cloves found anywhere they shouldn't be. How are you doing?

Greg Lestrade said...

Tell him he can pick a savoury filling. I would offer to get some ice cream on the way home, but I'm freezing, not sure I could face it.

And err, that answers your question. Freezing, that's how I'm doing. Lost all feeling in face and feet a good few hours ago. Despite thermals. You're definitely borrowing lots of mine for ypur lesson tomorrow, or you'll be miserable. And no one should ever be miserable on a bike.

John H. D. Watson said...

Where are you?

It is a bit chilly for ice cream, yeah, even apart from it not really being a balanced dinner. He says cheese is the next best thing.

Greg Lestrade said...

Cheese is good.

Can't really say. Searching for a head, two hands and one lower leg/foot. Somewhere bloody windy.

John H. D. Watson said...

And asparagus?

Sounds like an incredibly unpleasant day, I'm sorry. Do you want us to go to Tesco so you can just come straight home when you're done?

Desert Wanderer said...

Go for it, Lestrade. Mrs. H. Sounds like a great person to hang out with.

Rap battle, Doc? Awesome. Some day you'll have to video yourself and let us evaluate your performance.

Greg Lestrade said...

Don't go .out if you're currently warm indoors. No point.

I don't think the head and hands are here. Too convenient, all the identifiable bits missing. But we need to look. And find the leg.

REReader said...

How...macabre. (If practical.)

Also, brrrrrr! Can you warm up for a bit in a building or car, maybe?


Mmmmmm, crepes.

John H. D. Watson said...

We were warm indoors, but we've gone anyway. Sherlock has more potential-snow related energy than the flat can contain.

Any luck with the leg yet?

Greg Lestrade said...

Fair enough. Thanks. Just make sure you're warm when I get in so I can give you a hug.

No, and its getting too dark now. Just leave some lucky folks on guard overnight, start again tomorrow.

Sherlock said...

Does it have to be this cold to snow? My mittens are stupid and my hat won't stay on.

Greg Lestrade said...

It has to be pretty cold, yeah.

Why are your mittens stupid?

And your hat won't stay on because your hair is so long and curly that it's hat-phobic. If you had a haircut it would stay put.

REReader said...

Sherlock--no, it doesn't need to be freezing cold out for you to get snow. There is a whole bunch of information about snow under this link, and as they say, the temperature in the atmosphere where the snow forms has to be below freezing, but it can be up to around 40F (5C) near the ground. But if the ground is warm, the snow melts when it lands.

You need mittens with tighter cuffs, maybe the kind that have velcro straps at the wrists--those will stay on better.

REReader said...

(Oops, I mixed up your hat and mittens! I don't suppose you want a hat that ties on, so alas, you probably do need a bit of a trim for it to stay on.)

Sherlock said...

Hats can't be afraid of hair, that's silly.

They're stupid because my hands are still cold with them on but colder with them off and I can't do anything with them on like blow my nose or type on John's phone. And Tesco took FOREVER because John had to talk to a lady about melons.

Greg Lestrade said...

I didn't mean afraid of, I just meant your hair is rejecting your hat.

As for your mittens, yes, I know they can ve annoying, but it's that or very cold hands.

John was talking to a lady about melons, was he? Did she have nice melons?

REReader said...

It's sadly true that it's pretty impossible to do much with mittens on. But mittens keep hands warmer than gloves--the fingers share heat, as impossible as that seems when your hands are freezing inside the mittens.

I find it hard to know which melons are ripe and which aren't myself.

REReader said...

*ignoring Lestrade's melon comment*

*snort*

*trying to ignore Lestrade's melon comment*

Sherlock said...

They were okay but they didn't smell very melony like you said they should if they were ripe and he told her that but she just kept talking.

If I grow enough hair maybe I won't need a hat.

Greg Lestrade said...

Don't think you'll grow that much hair by the weekend though.

So did he squeeze her melons? Or just bury his nose in them? And did he buy any?

John H. D. Watson said...

Lestrade! There was no melon squeezing whatsoever.

Greg Lestrade said...

Just nose-burying? Hmmm.

And what was the full name for? I'm sure I haven't done anything to deserve that...

REReader said...

Sherlock, unfortunately if you leave off wearing a hat, the rest of you gets colder, even with lots of hair. I have a martial arts friend who has really long hair he wears in a ponytail, but he wears hats all winter anyway.

(I wear earmuffs instead of a hat--but my coat has a hood and when it's really cold I pull the hood up over my head.)


*ignoring melon discussion really hard*


John, I don't think we ever heard what Mrs Holmes's surprise was--will all be revealed soon?

Anonymous said...

*avoids the melon conversation*

Greg - The case sounds...unpleasant. I hope you get feeling back in your hands and feet soon!

Sherlock - Your hat has to cover your hair and your head, but if you have too much hair, all it does is cover your hair and leaves your head to freeze. Get a trim. Your hair and head will thank you.

John - If the melons aren't ripe, leave them out near a heat source (like a heater vent) for a few days. That should help them ripen. Also, thank you for the note on swearing.

~A from NW

John H. D. Watson said...

Right...

They were terrible melons anyway. Winter isn't really the season for them, I'm told.

Greg Lestrade said...

No, indeed.

Coming home. Prepare to be hugged.

Sherlock, I'm sure you could grow enough hair to keep you warm, but it would be unmanageable, and you'd get hot in the summer.

CzechReader said...

Sherlock - according to my hairdresser I have two to three times more hair than an average person. It was -12°C this morning when I left home and I was wearing two scarfs around my neck and face and one scarf around my head and a hat on a top of that. And I have actually ancestors from Russian Siberia and I'm quite freeze resistant! :-)

I will also remind you that going out without your hat on you can get runny nose and inflammation of cavities in your head which leads to painful blocked nose - and that is also no fun at all.

Also, Lestrade is right about long hear being too hot in the summer - when the heat wave came I had to spend about an hour every day just to handle my hair so I won't be too hot and sweaty under it. Do you really want to spend one hour every morning sitting still while John or Lestrade (hello, Nicky!) handles your hair? No playing with Degus in the meantime, no running, no twitching...

Greg Lestrade said...

Very good points, CzechReader. Sherlock, you definitely don't want to get ill, or chilblains, or anything else that will prevent you enjoying the snow to it's fullest. So wear your hat and mittens.

Anyway, I need my hair cut. Would it be so bad coming with me and just getting a trim on yours?

CzechReader said...

*long hair.. Sorry.

mazarin221b said...

Mmmm, crepes. The last ones I had were sauteed apples and walnuts with a lovely gruyere sauce. Mmmmm. (I am studiously ignoring both melons and disembodied parts. Crepes. Mmmmm.)

Sherlock said...

Can I get a mohawk?

Greg Lestrade said...

If only John had ignored both melons he wouldn't have got in such trouble... And fancy telling a lady her melons are terrible! Tsk.

Sherlock, I'm fairly sure that Mrs T has some rules about haircuts at school, and also fairly sure a mohawk won't be one that's allowed. But when you're older, you can do whatever you'd like with your hair.

John H. D. Watson said...

I didn't tell her her melons were terrible, I just-- There is no way I can win in this conversation, is there? If only she'd asked about spinach or something...

John H. D. Watson said...

Sherlock - and he means when you're older as in out of school, not as in when you're seven.

REReader said...

You could switch to hats or haircuts as a way out... :)

Greg Lestrade said...

Oh, she asked you to assess her melons?? I think you should just tell us the whole story...

You were obviously chewing the fat regarding her melons for long enough for Sherlock to describe it as 'forever'...

John H. D. Watson said...

She asked if I thought they were ripe, I gave her my opinion, and there was some further discussion on the matter. It might've been five minutes, which is forever in Sherlock-time.

Greg Lestrade said...

Hmm. I suppose, as a doctor, you're often asked for second opinions on such things. And I can't blame her for asking you.

I've often felt the need to ask you to give my plums a squeeze..

John H. D. Watson said...

She did seem to lose interest in the discussion when I said she'd be better off asking my boyfriend as he'd taught me everything I know about judging melons...

CzechReader said...

John - good point :-) But be glad the lady had not asked you about cucumbers, the discussion here would be much more ...intense.

Mazarin - I have craving for crepes now, thanks!

Greg Lestrade said...

You heartbreaker.

You should've said you could call me, but I might be too busy picking up severed limbs to chat on the phone. Then she'd probably have run screaming.

John H. D. Watson said...

CzechReader - I am quite grateful for that, yes!

John H. D. Watson said...

L - I think Sherlock was pretty close to telling her that himself.

REReader said...

It is not clear that Sherlock would think that was an off-putting comment in any way. :D

Greg Lestrade said...

Probably not, Yetilock here would think nothing of announcing he had to go shopping because I was too busy 'doing murders', I have no doubt.

REReader said...

Well, you can hardly fault him for being proud of your job....

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you could point out to him that it is more accurate (and grammatically correct?) to say that your job is solving murders, rather than 'doing murders'...?

~ A from NW

Greg Lestrade said...

A - I think all Sherlock hears when I speak is 'blah blah bodies blah blah murdered blah blah dismembered blahblah chainsaw' :) I frequently get the idea he'd be just as happy if I was the murderer, as long as I didn't get caught (which would obviously be 'boring').

John H. D. Watson said...

At least it's not 'doing murderers' which might arguably be worse.

REReader said...

Oh, I don't know about that, L--Sherlock has a pretty strong sense of justice/injustice.

(Now, if the victim deserved to be dead...well, that's different, innit? :))

Greg Lestrade said...

..well, you were a suspect :) for a short while...

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah, but there was no doing until considerably later.

Greg Lestrade said...

Indeed.

So, I need to get my room sorted for this sodding conference. You coming? Not that it makes too much difference, cos I'll get a double anyway.

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah, I'll come. Thought we might take Sherlock too? It'll save Mrs H looking after him, and we can entertain ourselves while you're busy during the day.

Greg Lestrade said...

Oh..right. Yeah. Will Mrs T be okay with him having a few days off school? Mind you, it's not like he'll fall behind, is it...

I'll get a family room then. Manchester's nice, you'll enjoy it. And I'll enjoy having the two of you there after a day of being lectured at.

Becca said...

Over here in the US, we have a wonderful product called hand warmers, which are little packets that create an exothermic reaction (make heat) for 6 - 8 hours. You can stick them in your gloves, your boot, even in your hat, and they're just fantastic. They got me through an extraordinarily cold winter in New Hampshire that reached -30 (F or C, not much difference at that point) far too often.

Sherlock, did you know that it can actually get too cold to snow?

Greg Lestrade said...

I didn't think that was true, Becca? I mean, theoretically true, but nowhere on Earth could it get that cold - like, it would need to be absolute zero, which isn't going to happen.

John H. D. Watson said...

That's what Stephen Fry said anyway.

L - and I'll do my best to keep him well away from the conference.

Becca said...

A quick google got me to this, from NOAA:

"It rarely snows when the temperature drops below zero degrees Fahrenheit because the atmosphere is too stable. One of the ingredients for snow is enough lifting of saturated air that snow can develop aloft and fall to reach the surface. When it is said, "it is too cold to snow, "in reality it means there is not enough lifting of air to cause snow to reach the surface. Even at very cold surface temperatures, significant snowfall can occur. Intense lifting can produce significant precipitation, even at very low temperatures. The temperature higher in the atmosphere can be much warmer than the air temperature at the surface, and that warm air aloft can hold more moist air than the colder air at the surface. And, moisture can be transferred into the area where lifting is occurring through advection (the horizontal movement of an air mass)."

Website is here: http://www.nssl.noaa.gov/primer/winter/ww_basics.html#

Greg Lestrade said...

Ha, just away from the bits of the conference with the graphic slideshows is fine. Although god knows what a bunch of averagely homophobic coppers will think of us.

Still, Sherlock will have a few hundred people to ask questions about crime to...he'll probably be invited as guest speaker next year.

Becca - right. Gotcha.

Anonymous said...

Well...they might be more intrigued by Sherlock's interest than what you and John might be getting up to outside of conference hours. =)

~A from NW

Anon Without A Name said...

Heh - Lestrade were you hoping for a bit of a dirty few days away? I'm sure you'll still have fun. Just a different kind of fun :-)

REReader said...

AfNW is quite right. With a six-year-old that's as knowledgeable and interested as Sherlock around? They will barely notice the two of you at all--he has the charm of novelty and surprise. :)

Greg Lestrade said...

Nameless - the thought never crossed my mind... heh.

Desert Wanderer said...

I'm sure it didn't cross your mind. Arrived and set up camp, perhaps?

Greg Lestrade said...

I was clearly planning to spend my evenings studying and reading seminar materials, DW :)

Desert Wanderer said...

Clearly. And Doc was just there to help you...revise your materials, right?

Greg Lestrade said...

Exactly. Study time, with the odd stepping out, arm in arm, to take an evening stroll.

It's minus three where I am, one of my officers tells me. Lovely. I'll need help finding my own limbs, never mind the missing ones.

CzechReader said...

-17°C this morning, -15°C at the moment. I would ask you if you wanna swap, but as I am indoors and warm I probably wouldn't want to go out even in -3°C :-)

dw said...

Goodness, Lestrade. Hope you guys find it soon and get out of the cold.

Hope everyone else stays as warm (or cool for you Southerners) as you like.

Anon Without A Name said...

It's about -6C here right now, and not likely to get above freezing - but gloriously sunny. Perfect sort of day if you don't have to stand around in it looking for body parts.

Greg Lestrade said...

Just found a piece of shin. Think the foot will be nearby...

Mycroft, I might even be on time!

CzechReader said...

Anybody else here torn between "Yay, progress!" and morbid contemplating of life?

Sorry for periodic spamming - got stuck at home today, ate something bad yesterday... Feel free to tell me to shut up.

Desert Wanderer said...

It's funny the things that bring us satisfaction, no?




Like sleep....

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, sorry, wasn't very tactful of me. Still, glad we found it.

Feel free to comment away! It's not spamming. And I hope you feel better soon.

DW - sleep is a wonderful thing.

Desert Wanderer said...

Awww, CR. Hope you feel better soon. :(

CzechReader said...

DW, L - thanks :)

L - don't feel bad. I was contemplating this just because my first reaction would be the "yay" one - and then I got hoisted by my own mental petard when I started to contemplate that my reactions are maybe not appropriate...

DW - Sleep is amazing. 'Nuff said.

Greg Lestrade said...

Well, to be fair, it is a good thing we found it. It's not like we're happy the bloke's dead, just that we might now have more of him to return to the family, and potentially more evidence to catch his killers. So I don't think 'yay' is a bad reaction to have.

Desert Wanderer said...

Did you end up finding the rest of it, Lestrade?

Desert Wanderer said...

That came across more callously than I intended. Sorry. :(

Greg Lestrade said...

Didn't strike me as callous, DW.

I didn't, but I got a message a couple of hours ago to say the foot has been found. Now all in Molly's capable hands.

Sherlock said...

Can we go and see her again soon?

Desert Wanderer said...

I regretted it as soon as I posted it. Never mind, Ignore me.

Good luck on the case.

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm sure we can, Sherlock. Maybe you can write a nice message we can email her, asking.

Cheers DW. I fear it's shaping up to be a long one.

Desert Wanderer said...

Long weeks all around, then. I hope you're wrong and you find the murderer quickly.

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