Tuesday, October 2, 2012

after school special

Mrs N asked to speak to me when I picked Sherlock up today. She's coming to tea on Friday. Sherlock has apparently promised her baked Alaska, which I don't think is going to happen, but I imagine we can at least provide brownies or chocolate swirl biscuits or something.

He was a chimpanzee on the way home. On the whole I prefer elephants, since they very rarely try to climb up you while you're waiting for the light to change.

Sherlock: Chimpanzees fling poo.

Me: No.

Sherlock: They do, I saw them!

Me: I mean, no, your chimpanzee impression does not need that level of verisimilitude.

There is no more reliable way to distract him than with new words, but I'm going to run out eventually. 

61 comments:

Greg Lestrade said...

...I can only apologise.

John H. D. Watson said...

For what?

Greg Lestrade said...

... he surprised me earlier. he leapt out and yelled 'What animal throws poo!'

So I answered 'Elephant!'

And he scowled and said 'Really?'

So I said there was a recent video going around where an elephant threw poo at a guy with it's trunk.

So, yeah, sorry about that. I didn't know chimpanzee was the right answer.

John H. D. Watson said...

Ha. It's okay, I think he's over elephants for now. They're so ten minutes ago.

Greg Lestrade said...

..I might have mentioned penguins too.

John H. D. Watson said...

Penguins fling poo??

Greg Lestrade said...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-16270214

I'm not sure why I have such a wide knowledge of poo-flinging animals... I blame the criminals I have to spend my time with. Some of them aren't above it.

John H. D. Watson said...

...I had no idea poo flinging was so universal.

Anonymous said...

...the things I learn from your blogs!

Thanks, everyone, for the congrats on the new job.

John, are you looking forward to tea with Mrs. N? Is Lestrade going to cook, or are you going to try?

John H. D. Watson said...

I have yet to ask Lestrade, but I'm hoping he will. And I meant to say congratulations as well - I thought it very hard at you when I read your comment, but somehow that didn't translate into any actual typing on my part. I hope it's a better fit for you than the last one.

Anonymous said...

Thank you! I think I'm really going to enjoy it! Also, I totally think I've written something and then later find out I've only thought it. I guess I'm waiting for a telepathy helmet to be invented!

John H. D. Watson said...

Telepathy-operated keyboard at the very least. Surely someone's got to be working on that by now.

Anonymous said...

I'll add my congratulations too, Pip. Sorry I didn't earlier, but today was busy and tomorrow is going to be busier.

Sherlock, keep watching those videos. Remember, it's not just that you might notice the bad guy actually taking the picture, but that you might notice the pattern of who's there when the pictures are taken, and also who you might see show up during your regular days with Lestrade.

rsf

(New words distracted me, too. But I never did feel the need to fling feces...)

Anonymous said...

I would even be happy with a monitor that tracks your eye movement and types into the window you're looking at rather than the one that is "active." I know they can do that, they just need to figure out how to do it cheaply.

wolf-were said...

Have you ever read "The Superior Person's Book of Words"? It may give you a bit more of a vocabularic edge--as long as Sherlock doesn't find the book and learn them all first.

For a shorter-but-free list of nifty words, I just found these sites:

http://www.physics.ohio-state.edu/~wilkins/writing/Resources/essays/superiorwords.html

and

http://blog.topplaza.com/2012/03/1000-fancy-english-words/

Greg Lestrade said...

Course I'll cook. With some help :)

And hope to steer the conversation away from poo-throwing...

REReader said...

I remember first running into "verisimilitude" in "The Mikado". Somehow it doesn't have the pizzazz of poo-flinging chimpanzees, does it?

I'm with rsf, Sherlock--keep those videos in the back of your mind, so if you see anyone you've seen in the videos, you'll be able to tell John or Lestrade (quietly, so they don't get away, of course).

And having Mrs. N to tea should be quite fun! (Even without Baked Alaska.)

REReader said...

And good morning, L! (I hope you're all recovered from whatever it was that had you feeling ill the other day.)

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, thanks. Obviously withdrawal from the Doc.

REReader said...

*nods* That would explain it.

:)

Anonymous said...

In order to mark their territory, hippos poop while spinning their tails like a propellor.

Small Hobbit said...

Yes another instructive blog - all I have to do now is work out how to introduce my newly acquired knowledge into my conversation at work today.

Greg Lestrade said...

Worryingly it would be easy to introduce it in mine...

Is that everyone's challenge for the working day? Let us know how you get on.

We sometimes have challenges here about managing to get certain words or phrases into a briefing or press release - obviously not on serious issues, I should add. Although clearly other departments have in the past, and been found out.

pandabob said...

I think I've just worked out why today was no good for the day off for the zoo, I hope everyone is ok and enough people who offered to travel to Manchester were able to get there or are able to get there tomorrow.


The weirdest words come up in some live TV broadcasts because people have been challenged to put them in so it doesn't surprise me that the police play the same game some times ;-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Sherlock just texted me demanding biscuits with cherries for Mrs N.

John H. D. Watson said...

That does sound good... Although I will speak to him about demanding things rather than asking. Again.

John H. D. Watson said...

Wolf-were - thanks for those word lists, I've just been looking at them. Some of those words are amazing!

Greg Lestrade said...

The conversation went:

Cherries

What about them?

I NEED THEM FOR MRS N FOR BISCUITS

REReader said...

:D

It's a big deal, having a teacher to tea!


(To be fair, Sherlock does sometimes remember to ask very nicely--we've seen him! :))

John H. D. Watson said...

I NEED THEM FOR MRS N FOR BISCUITS

Ha. Are you making these biscuits or is he? It sounds like he has a plan.

Greg Lestrade said...

He might be making me make them? Not sure.

John H. D. Watson said...

That is usually how it goes.

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm sure he'll help.

Sherlock, how do you know Mrs N likes cherries? And do you want biscuits with cherries in, or a cake, or what? And real cherries or glacé cherries?

Sherlock said...

What's glacé?

Greg Lestrade said...

The bright red slightly see through ones we use on top of cakes and things. They're cooked over and over in syrup, I think.

Preserved, not fresh, basically.

Sherlock said...

Not those, real ones. Or maybe dried ones. She has dried ones at lunch sometimes and she gave me one once and it was good. So she must like them and she would like them in biscuits or cake because everything is better in biscuits or cake.

Anonymous said...

Words to live by, Sherlock! Although despite your preference for fresh or dried cherries I may have to go and buy some glacé cherries now I've thought about them.

Lancs. Anon

Greg Lestrade said...

Okay, I'll get some tomorrow when you're at school. Decide what you want to make tonight and I'll get everything.

REReader said...

Excellent reasoning on the cherries, Sherlock--and it's very nice of you to think what Mrs N would like best.

(And now I want cake with cherries in it! ....Hmmm, there's a cherry cake I used to make occasionally, the recipe must be around here somewhere.... *starts rummaging in back of desk instead of working*)

John H. D. Watson said...

He's making a list...with illustrations.

Greg Lestrade said...

He has just thrust it at me before I'm properly in the door.

He's now grabbed my laptop and is sitting on the floor, wearing my leather jacket (which is like a small yurt around him) and shouting out random instructions.

"No coconut!"

REReader said...

Apparently it's very stressful, crime-fighting and hosting a teacher simultaneously.

(I bet he looks really cute in your jacket. :))

REReader said...

And of course, sometime between now and Friday he'll want to tidy his room so he can show it to her, too... (Because you'll surely want to show Mrs N the degu cage, with all the tunnels and hammocks and things, Sherlock!)

Sherlock said...

It is tidy anyway

REReader said...

Oh, good, one less thing to do then. :)

pandabob said...

you still detectoring Sherlock or looking up recipes for Friday?

Sherlock said...

I want these ones but with better cherries.

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/9837/gooey-chocolate-cherry-cookies

or ones like it but better.

REReader said...

Oh, my goodness, Sherlock--those look delicious! Are you thinking of making them with dried cherries instead of glacé?

Anonymous said...

Work challenge for the day, staying awake now after having been wound up for a 90 minute lecture to a bunch of seniors about mystery books I like. I didn't sleep much last night...

rsf

Cherries are good. I like the fresh ones best of all, but dried cherries are good in baked things and maraschino cherries are good on top of whipped cream.

Anonymous said...

John, if you want to keep Sherlock busy with words, and other things too, I suggest you show him freerice.com. It started as just a way to learn English vocabulary, but they added a bunch of more categories, and now they've got the website with categories in French, Italian, Spanish, and Korean. For every answer you get right, 10 grains of rice get donated to the World Food program (the advertisers pay for it.) The more right answers you get, the harder the questions. Mycroft would probably like it too. (Heck, I spend time there! Lately I've been trying to learn the names of countries in French.)

rsf

John H. D. Watson said...

That looks brilliant, rsf, thanks. If nothing else, I can use it myself and dole them out to him when distractions are necessary...

Anonymous said...

The really good words start in about level 40. And yes, it's one of the better ways I know to waste time when I've got insomnia, even if I don't always think of it. (Doesn't mean I shouldn't encourage you to go back to sleep -- or are you planning on spending the day in bed once you've got Sherlock safely off to school?)

rsf

REReader said...

I play FreeRice, too. rsf! It's neat.

A from NW said...

I love FreeRice! Though I do get a bit frustrated when I get stuck on a level and go in circles...

John - Foreign language is a good back-up for when you need words. And if you really wanted Sherlock to focus, try a non-Latin/logographic (i.e. Mandarin, Japanese, Korean) language.

Pip - Congrats on the new job! May it bring new friendships and satisfaction to your life!

All - Hi! Still alive over here; it's been busy, but quiet; started crocheting again; taking my gov't service exam tomorrow (the 4th), so hopefully when I come back around, I'll have news.

~A from NW (who is quietly panicking)

Anon Without A Name said...

Good luck, AfNW!

Small Hobbit said...

Best of luck AfNW.

Thanks guys for reminding me about FreeRice - I can use it to learn a few Italian words in a hurry - failed miserably earlier and we go on Saturday.

Anonymous said...

To bring this back to the issue of poo flinging:

http://cheezburger.com/6570892544

Greg Lestrade said...

I've got to ask...it seems to come up a lot, so to speak, is 'poop' considered more polite or something in the US. I mean, no one here says poop that I've ever heard, but it seems a lot more common than poo over there.

REReader said...

I dunno about comparative politeness, but poop does seem to be the euphemism of choice, at least in this part of the country.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure why we say poop rather than poo. I think poo sounds better, actually. Something about that last "p" with makes it seem more... crude. But now you mention it, I don't think I've heard many people say poo.

Another thing I never thought I would be contemplating early in the morning!

Anonymous said...

I hear poop as a noun and a verb, and poo as a verb on occasion with only a smattering of poos as a noun, usually by immigrants. (And toddlers who think that Pooh Bear has a very funny name.)

rsf

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