I went to the pub with Harry last night, a fairly pointless exercise, given that we both had soda water and lime. She's been sober for almost three months. It's not quite her record, but it's close.
She's a different person when she's sober. It's true we've never really got on, and it's easy to blame that on her, what with her penchant for locking me in the basement when our parents were out and she was supposed to be looking after me, but the thing is... When she's sober, she's my sister again. And lots of people are horrible when they're kids, and god knows she didn't have an easy time of it growing up. And I miss her when she drinks.
She disappears. It's like talking directly to the alcohol, and of course alcohol doesn't listen to reason, or to anything else. I'm not a superstitious person generally, but I find myself not wanting to jinx her, so I won't express any hopes for the future, one way or another.
She wants to get to know the boys better, and I'd like that too. Our dinners with her have gone surprisingly well, and she's more patient with them than she ever was with me. Her upstairs neighbor keeps bees on the roof of their building, and she says he'll let Sherlock (or even Sherlock's entire class!) come for a visit. That would be lovely, especially if I don't have to go.
I keep wondering, would it have been better if I hadn't gone to Afghanistan? Would she be where she is now? Would she and Clara still be together? Surely I could've done something if I'd been here?
But I wouldn't have. Truthfully, I think I was pretty awful to her before I left, and yeah, there were reasons for that, but you can always find reasons to behave badly, can't you? Anyhow. Sorry about this post's complete lack of entertainment value. I'll do better tomorrow. Tomorrow's ice skating, so it's bound to be better.
She's a different person when she's sober. It's true we've never really got on, and it's easy to blame that on her, what with her penchant for locking me in the basement when our parents were out and she was supposed to be looking after me, but the thing is... When she's sober, she's my sister again. And lots of people are horrible when they're kids, and god knows she didn't have an easy time of it growing up. And I miss her when she drinks.
She disappears. It's like talking directly to the alcohol, and of course alcohol doesn't listen to reason, or to anything else. I'm not a superstitious person generally, but I find myself not wanting to jinx her, so I won't express any hopes for the future, one way or another.
She wants to get to know the boys better, and I'd like that too. Our dinners with her have gone surprisingly well, and she's more patient with them than she ever was with me. Her upstairs neighbor keeps bees on the roof of their building, and she says he'll let Sherlock (or even Sherlock's entire class!) come for a visit. That would be lovely, especially if I don't have to go.
I keep wondering, would it have been better if I hadn't gone to Afghanistan? Would she be where she is now? Would she and Clara still be together? Surely I could've done something if I'd been here?
But I wouldn't have. Truthfully, I think I was pretty awful to her before I left, and yeah, there were reasons for that, but you can always find reasons to behave badly, can't you? Anyhow. Sorry about this post's complete lack of entertainment value. I'll do better tomorrow. Tomorrow's ice skating, so it's bound to be better.
12 comments:
Having a sibling is one of the great joys of my life (and my little brother is kind enough to say he feels the same way) - I hope you and Harry can get there! It's clear that the two of you deserve it, and that you're doing your best to make sure Mycroft and Sherlock have the chance too.
After reading this I had to wait several hours before coming back to comment. That bit about not want to jinx your sister's recovery is exactly how I feel about my uncle. It's rather difficult to come to terms with the feeling, sometimes.
I wish you and Harry the best of lucks. :)
I was all ready to be depressed by the end of that, but then I caught sight of your tags, and was cheered.
Pictures of cute aminals to cheer all.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v299/lheah/1251753373626.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v299/lheah/1219004149897.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v299/lheah/1244784002473.jpg
Inne - Thanks. We are trying, and it makes me so happy that Mycroft and Sherlock are getting along a bit better these days.
annoyedwabbit - I'm sorry you know the feeling. It's hard even to hope, and of course impossible to stop. I think the worst bit is not being able to do anything to help.
Christ, I'm full of joy tonight, aren't I? Sorry. I think Trista has the right idea with the small fuzzy animals.
http://zooborns.typepad.com/zooborns/otter/
Lupe - thanks. :)
Trista - ...Why are the pigs dressed up as tigers? WHY? Inquiring minds want to know.
Also, the sloth photo is brilliant, not just because someone has a baby sloth wrapped round their hand, but because someone had a baby sloth and thought "Hm, what shall I do with this sloth? I know! I shall take it for an outing to the beach!"
I was struck by the picture, and it turns out that a Google for pigs lying on tiger leads you to Snopes.com (though the picture is genuine)
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/tigerpig.asp
Ann - Thank you! That was driving me mad, and I did concoct a mental scenario like the one Snopes debunked. This isn't the happiest of scenarios either, but at least the tiger cubs are alive.
The pygmy three-toed sloth lives exclusively on an island off the coast of Panama, and can swim! I don't know if that picture is a pygmy but it definitely looks like a three-toed, so maybe...
That beach could easily be in Panama! Maybe he wasn't from a zoo at all. Maybe they were just hanging out together.
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