Since L's super gave Sherlock (and Mycroft, but Sherlock is the one bent on abusing it) that NSY card, he's been treating it like he did the birthday boy badge Mrs Hudson gave him, i.e. a symbol to bend the rest of the world to his will.
Uses to which he has attempted to put it today:
1. Arresting the girl who got to the swing he wanted before he did.
2. Arresting the tree that dropped an acorn on his head.
3. Threatening the man at the fish and chips shop with dire legal consequences if he shorted him on chips.
I put a stop to the first one, and the tree was not impressed, but he got what he wanted out of the third encounter, which was to tell someone new the story of how he got the card.
I asked Mycroft if he planned to tell anyone at school what happened. He said no one would believe him, and he's probably right.
Uses to which he has attempted to put it today:
1. Arresting the girl who got to the swing he wanted before he did.
2. Arresting the tree that dropped an acorn on his head.
3. Threatening the man at the fish and chips shop with dire legal consequences if he shorted him on chips.
I put a stop to the first one, and the tree was not impressed, but he got what he wanted out of the third encounter, which was to tell someone new the story of how he got the card.
I asked Mycroft if he planned to tell anyone at school what happened. He said no one would believe him, and he's probably right.
84 comments:
I really did laugh out loud at this, so LOL!
(Did the fish and chips man believe him?)
Not at first, but I think he believed me when I confirmed it. Possibly. We definitely weren't shorted on chips at any rate.
I might start handcuffing my warrant card to myself, just in case...
Sounds like you all had a good day, anyway.
Sherlock, sorry kiddo, the Super made me have a tattoo that said 'property of Metropolitan Police, c/o HSCC, New Scotland Yard' today. So you've lost out.
Tell me Sherlock's got a lisp, just so the scene is complete. I already know about the big eyes and the messy mop of curls and can just imagine that boy-soprano piping "dire legal consequences."
You're a brave, brave man, Danger.
A good story deserves extra chips, true or not. But I imagine you used your innocent face and were totally believed. *ducks*
Innie - he does, actually, but only on certain words, usually ones that start with S. Thipder, for example, but not, I'm afraid, conthequenthes.
L - I think you're safe. This one has his own name on it and is therefore better, even if it doesn't let him arrest people for real.
RR - I haven't got an innocent face! I only look innocent when I'm standing next to L.
The Super said you 'seem like a nice chap', Danger. You must look a bit innocent...
Want anything in particular for dinner? Or eaten too many chips already...?
Your avatar looks very innocent...
Lestrade! You did not get one, you said you didn't even want a tattoo ever! I don't believe you, you're making things up.
RR - my avatar is pouring tea, that's why.
L - that just proves it, I was standing next to you at the time.
Risotto? I liked that one you did with the mushrooms.
Hmmm. It is true the tea makes almost anything look better...:D
Sherlock, think of it as an exercise in judging whether witnesses are lying to you. And when Lestrade gets home, you'll be able to check. Won't he enjoy that? ;)
Risotto's good, yeah.
Doesn't prove you don't look innocent all the time.
Sherlock, I didn't want it! But as I belong to them I don't get an option. He was obviously worried about you laying claim to me yesterday.
If you really did then you have to get one that says you're mine too and also one for John but I don't believe it, the police can't make you get tattoos.
They make us do lots of things we wouldn't necessarily do, Sherlock, like have certain haircuts and wear or not wear certain jewellery.
He also injected a little microchip into me - like the dogs have.
I wonder if there's an online source that says what NYS can and cannot require of its members...
RR - the super's still writing it. Just like Mrs T is still writing Sherlock's rule book.
Er, NSY. (Obviously my Touch has an American bias.)
Your Super mustn't let all that power go to his head.
But while he's already writing rules, perhaps he can write one that gives John the authority to say when you have to leave for the day.
Might be too late there, RR.
I have been trying not to work too much. But we just don't have enough officers. And I'll be on nights again soon.
Heh.
Well, with that microchip thingie, couldn't they just let you go home and yank you back as needed?
(Nights, blech.)
Hah, they'd just set all the door locks to lock as any of use approached when we had cases piling high.
Danger, sorry, I am a bit late, but leaving now.
By the way, Mycroft--I think people would believe you. And of course, you can get confirmation from Lestrade and John when they come to give that safe driving talk.
John said he'd get Mummy to put a microchip in me if I kept running off. I like it when you work at night because you stay home and have fun with us in the day.
"Arresting the tree that dropped an acorn on his head." That is the cutest thing I have ever imagined ever.
Danger, help, officer in need of assstance - Sherlock hasme face down on the sitting room floor, kneeling on my back, trying to rip my clothes off to find tattoos and microchips. He has pointy kmees and only let me have th phne back cos i pleaded my one phonecall after arrest.
You really have only yourself to blame for this... But I suppose I'll help because you probably can't make risotto from that position.
Ha! You buy, you pay. :D
(And why call Danger--HE's not a police officer! You need to call Mycroft.)
RR - I was hoping Danger would defend me on account of him being the only one allowed to rip my clothes off.
But apparently his motivation was dinner. Still, same result. I am now free of small sergeants trying to put me in arm locks.
Hee! Well, whatever gets the job done...
Sherlock - working nights is worth it because of the time I get to spend with you.
I was hoping Danger would defend me on account of him being the only one allowed to rip my clothes off.
Right, only me...and your tattoo artist apparently...
She didn't rip them off. She was very careful.
So you went quietly then? Didn't put up a fight?
Don't I always come quietly?
Actually I was cuffed, wrists and ankles. So there wasn't much I could do. And I don't like to be a nuisance. You know me.
Hm. I have to say that hasn't been my experience, no.
the quietness, or the nuisance? Or both?
You'll have to rip my clothes off later and check me all over for microchips and tattoos
So...was Sherlock planning to handcuff the tree and take it downtown? Also, don't end up covered with tattoos there, L. It could make undercover work interesting. ;)
I need to learn to make risotto.
Sorry, that's classified information.
I will. Later. When I'm less full of risotto. Mmmmm.
Calliope - I think what he really wanted was to strike a dramatic pose and inform it that it was under arrest for assaulting an officer. Which he managed nicely.
I'd pay good money to have seen that! (I won't say cute or adorable. I'm afraid of pointy knees and toes.)
He'll have to try and hold back on the dramatic poses if he ever really wants to arrest people. Generally it's a good idea to be so subtle about it they barely know they're being arrested until you're snapping the cuffs on.
You look wonderfully content, sprawled on the sofa with your hand on your belly full of risotto.
I would be even more so if you'd come over here and let put my hands in your hoodie pocket. And that is not a euphemism.
But if I come there and let put your hands in my hoody then you'll be able to feel my full belly...you might go off me...
on the other hand, you're far too lovely to resist.
Wouldn't subtlety be rather wasted on a tree? :D
L - it would take a lot more than that.
RR - you make a valid point.
RR - I presumed he was practicing for 'real' criminals. I'm sure the tree didn't attempt a swift getaway.
I do feel like I ought to get up and check what he's up to. But Mycroft's upstairs too and you're far too comfy.
You have to watch those oaks all the time. They're shifty characters.
No moving, I'm definitely too comfy.
Not as shifty as banana trees. They walk.
Mmm. My feet are cold
Do they slip on their peels?
They certainly are.
I presumed he was practicing for 'real' criminals.
I've somehow picked up the impression that Sherlock is not completely sold on the idea of needing to practice things.
If you can't hear him, he probably does need checking on. (Or at least that's what my mother always said.)
I would, RR, if Mycroft weren't up there too.
Maybe I should get some fluffy socks. I just prefer having bare feet.
Good point.
Someone should get you fuzzy slippers for Christmas. Maybe with bunny ears.
You just prefer sticking your cold feet on various warm parts of my body, you mean.
I don't like slippers. Anyway, the dogs would just eat them.
And it is far more fun to put them on you.
You know given John is a military man I was expecting something quite different from the title!
The contents of the entry were quite disappointing.
I was worried for a minute, Rider. But Danger ensures this is a family blog.
Lestrade, ah well.
I'm sure there will be short arm inspection at some point!
I'm ignoring both of you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzTRTQkmHpU
Entirely possible, Rider - but not on the blog for all to see!
Danger - I always wanted Scalextric when I was a kid. But that is probably the next best thing...
Hi guys! Avoided a trip to the hospital by the skin of my teeth. But not for the pneumonia, which I'm done with. I managed to get so stressed out I was making myself ill... Have seen my doctor however and am on new medication, which seem to be working. YAY!
So, congrats on catching a (most probably) murderer all of you! John, you sir are a BAMF. Maybe you could volunteer at NSY as a medical/tactical consultant?
Greg, while night shifts suck, I'm glad you'll get to spend more time with Sherlock. You'll both enjoy that I think. With the added bonus of John!
Sherlock: You should talk to Greg about how police procedure happens. That way when you grow up and -actually- become a policeman and catch murderers, you'll know lots! Remember though, you have to write reports on what happened. Do you think you could write Greg's superior an after action report? :D Get Greg to proof read it before it goes anywhere.
Mycroft: You are amazing. Simply amazing. I agree that you should tell the story right around when John and Greg are coming to the school for the talk on safety. That way they can back you up!
Hey, glad you're okay, Tink.
He's a lovely BAMF, isn't he? And he's just persuaded Sherlock to go to sleep, which means he's a miracle worker too.
I'm fairly sure I'll be on nights during the week, so won't see loads of Sherlock, but it's great to be able to fetch him from school - he's always so full of things to tell us, that I usually miss out on. I'm fairly sure Sherlock has no interest in being a police officer though. Or only the 'fun' parts, anyway.
No six year old wants to do paperwork. Or 46 year old either. Eventually he'll get used to the idea that he can't just do the fun parts of everything.
Or just invent a job that is the fun parts of everything.
Or employ someone to do the boring parts of everything.
Or change the boring parts to make them fun...
Do you come with paperwork, or just fun parts? ;)
No paperwork, but plenty of boring parts I'm afraid.
Oh, boy, would I love to do just the fun parts of my work! (Or at least earn enough to hire someone else to take care of some of the not-fun parts. :) )
Well, it's almost sunset, so I'll wish you all a Shabbat shalom--a peaceful Saturday. (I don't suppose Sherlock will consider "peaceful" something to hope for, but Jews ask for it coming and going, after all! Either because we've had so little historically, or because we argue do much, take your pick. :D) See you tomorrow night!
I just think it would be hilarious to hand over to your Super an AAR written by a six year old. You'd have to try and keep a straight face the entire time :D
John, he'll get homework eventually, and then he'll start to understand that even though it may not be fun, he still has to do it because it will sink into his brain and stick there so he'll know lots and lots.
Your kids are adorable. Both of them. Have you gotten the suit and wings back from the drycleaner?
I have yet to find any boring parts about you. Entirely fascinating, in my opinion.
SHabbat shalom, RR. Although I guess you won't see it...
Eeeerrrr...have we got them back? Have they even gone? I feel bad that I don't even know. Sorry, Danger, I don't mean to treat you like a housekeeper or PA or something.
They have gone, but they're not back. It's all right, I've got time and you don't.
How'd the drop off go? I'm trying to imagine the look that the proprietor had!
He was utterly stone-faced. You'd think people dropped off muddy fairy wings every day of the week. I was disappointed.
Maybe he was just scared to ask. You were dropping off a muddy half-ruined suit complete with bloodstains and some fairy wings, and had bruised knuckles and a black eye.
Would you have asked, seriously??
...You know, I really hadn't thought of it that way. Excellent point.
we should go to bed, before I fall asleep here on top of you, with you all trapped in my pouch.
But I don't want to move. comfy and tired
Bed is more comfy though.
mmm, not sure t is. Don't get a Danger pillow in bed. And whatever youre doing to mess up my hair is very relaxing.
It's late and you'll be up at the crack of dawn as always, come on. I will carry you if I have to.
Okay, okay.
Not always up early.
Nearly always.
We could pay Mycroft to entertain Sherlock in the morning...
but we do have a pond to dig. Quite a lot of pond.
We could get breakfast out, on the way to school.
Sleep'd be nice though. tired. comeno
It is quite a lot of pond, yes. I'm starting to think of it as a lake.
Breakfast out would be nice. That place with the stuff. And the things.
stuffnthings
yeah.
now sleep Dangerpilllow
Y'all are so cute. <3
Thought of Sherlock today when I was buying wings for my daughter's Halloween costume. They are very sparkly; I want some of my own!
conthequenthes!!! I suppose that would have been too much to ask for, but the thought of Thpider is awesomely adorable.
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