Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
1. Dishonesty. Game playing. Manipulation. All that sort of thing.
1. Dishonesty. Game playing. Manipulation. All that sort of thing.
2. Cruelty.
3. Really small hands on men. Sometimes on women too. I don't know why.
4. Excessive back hair.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.
On another note, related to 1 and 2, I hope everyone's read L's post by now.
When I started this blog, I was easily the most unhappy and alone I've ever been in my life. Watching this change from just me talking into the ether, into a place where all of you can come and talk and share your lives hasn't just made me happy; it's changed my view of humanity, maybe given me back some small amount of faith in people. Thank you for that.
Edited to add the clues from Ryo's game, which I haven't even started on because my brain still hurts from the last one:
Live but not die
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.
On another note, related to 1 and 2, I hope everyone's read L's post by now.
When I started this blog, I was easily the most unhappy and alone I've ever been in my life. Watching this change from just me talking into the ether, into a place where all of you can come and talk and share your lives hasn't just made me happy; it's changed my view of humanity, maybe given me back some small amount of faith in people. Thank you for that.
Edited to add the clues from Ryo's game, which I haven't even started on because my brain still hurts from the last one:
Live but not die
Devil but not angel
Era but not period
eve not adam
draw not color
pan and pot but not stove
Ron but not Mike
Wed but not marry
Rat but not mouse
Reward but not present
ten but not eleven
bad but not good
loot not treasure
lever not pulley
Era but not period
eve not adam
draw not color
pan and pot but not stove
Ron but not Mike
Wed but not marry
Rat but not mouse
Reward but not present
ten but not eleven
bad but not good
loot not treasure
lever not pulley
deified not god-like
Ewe not us.
Saw not hammer
was but not will
Ewe not us.
Saw not hammer
was but not will
123 comments:
You amaze me as ever John, it must be stressful dealing with this place when it has it's issues and still you find it possible to thank us for being here and talking to, at and around you.
Is Greg a wax or a razor man? ;-)
Ha. His is fine! It's just when it gets to be really...I don't know. Like the person is question is wearing a shag carpet. Not good.
So basically, John, your ultimate turn-off is the evil monkey from Chris's closet in Family Guy!
Lancs. Anon
I've experienced wax. Never again.
And shaving my face is arduous enough, never going to try for the rest of my body!
(Now I'm checking out everyone's hands like a weirdo! Mine are reassuringly large, I think.)
I'm with you there :-)
More hair on the back than on the head and they really are going too far ;-)
Frankly, we should be thanking you! After all, you are what brought us all together. Besides, even though you guys have your tough moments, it's nice to read about people who take such joy in each other.
Four turn-offs....
1. Nose rings (they always make me think of snot or something stuck on the nose like that)
2. Unfounded arrogance
3. Being so afraid to displease me that you can't actually make a decision, even when I've asked you to (I'm really not that scary!)
4. Lying
ryo
Lancs. Anon - I had to look up the evil monkey on youtube. Ha!
L - your hands are lovely! And when did you wax any part of yourself?
I did read L's post, and it made me think of last year's posts, when he was the one getting trolled and how he just took it. So when he leapt to the defense of the community today I... well, let's just say that it's a good thing that you found him first, because if I had the appropriate equipment and he was free, I'd be moving to London in hopes of meeting him!
Turn offs for me. Hmm.
1. Strong perfume. (Sets off my asthma.)
2. Constant casual profanity or crudity. (Occasional strong words are okay.)
3. Trying to see if you can get to home base when you haven't rounded first yet.
4. Bullying.
Danger - I didn't wax part of myself. A brutal attack force of females did it for charity. My chest. I nearly cried it hurt so much!
I'm definitely all about the furry...but even I make my better half stand in the bath tub every few weeks so I can wield an electric shaver and make him a little less of a neanderthal. On the flip side, he has a beard, so he's dispensed with the face-shaving part of the equation.
I've never thought about it before, but does the Met allow facial hair, Greg? I know many police forces in the US allow moustaches but not full beards.
And my four
1. Meanness, in any form - financial, emotional or physical. In the days when I dated, one of my first mental checkpoints for a date was how he treated the waitstaff - not just in terms of a tip, but also respecting them as people.
2. Self- absorption
3. Incompetence - at work, at life, sex....whatever....
4. Bad hygiene - not situational stinky, like camping - more like "haven't taken a shower in a week because I'm lazy" stinky - makes you wonder about the state of their sheets *shudder*
And John, late as I have been in actually participating in this endeavour, I've been reading for a while and you've created a wonderful community of people here...so thank *you*
Four turn offs
1. Laziness, an 'I can't be bothered' attitude
2. Self pity
3. Anger and aggression
4. Telling half truths so as not to get in 'trouble'
RSF - I think you're right it is a pretty amzing thing for Greg to do a post like that, I think us all respecting the request not to comment leads to some worry that it might be thought we didn't read it. We have all used anon from time to time so it's value is great but not to do the things some people are using it for :-(
L - ohh, yes. I remember you telling me that, sorry. I'd got it mixed up somehow with you shaving your head.
AnonyBob - Blogger can tell us how many page views an entry has, so we know if people have read things, generally.
Danger - just don't go getting ideas :) too dangerous with nipple rings, anyway!
too dangerous with nipple rings, anyway!
Eeep!
That's good to know Greg because it is hard not to sign your name to something like that just to show you've read it.
Some joke about waxing somewhere else is needed here ;-)
1. Arrogance
2. Emotional blackmail, manipulation.
3. Lack of respect for yourself or me
4. Being judgemental, buying into society's rules (and expecting me to).
AnonyBob - it's not a very exact science, as you can read that entry without clicking off the main page, but yeah, gives me an idea.
As for whoever it was 'trolling' me...well, my job means every time I step out of the office half of London feels the need to pile on the abuse. Thick skin now, really. An Anon on a blog isn't really going to worry me!
This place, though, it's just meant to be fun. And when it stops being fun, I imagine I'll stop posting. Go back to my luddite life pre-blog :)
I tell you, I'm buggered if I can come up with four things for tonight's post.
The idea that people who won't even give themselves a name could end the fun that is this place is a rather sad thought :-( as named people we have our moments of falling out and stressfulness but it's always sorted out somehow and things get fun and happy again :-)
people who just want to be horrible because they can hide behind a computer screen and anon cannot win! we will not let them :-)
I'm not sure what the fact you have no turn off's says about you really but there you go ;-)
Ha! I have thought of four.
It was more about trying to think about how...deep I wanted to go.
L - I'm buggered if I can come up with four things for tonight's post.
Smelly feet? Off key singing? There's got to be something!
You're going first tomorrow, by the way.
I'm buggered if I can come up with four things for tonight's post.
Maybe if you ask nicely...? ;)
I found this one odd, because, aside from being inappropriately specific, I couldn't really think of turn-offs per se. In the end I went with "If you are [this], I probably won't want to shag you". I mean, really, I don't want to shag anyone except my husband, so essentially, my biggest "turn off" is someone not being him. But then, it's not so much that they turn me off, it's that they don't turn me on... and I get confused and not sure what I'm trying to say.
Hmmm.
I've done it!
Why do I have to go first??
Nameless - Thank you! There's nothing about John that turns me off, and nothing about anyone else that really turns me on... so I was stuck!
DW - well, he did come up with four...
L - because!
You started this whole ten things thing! Only because I'm very kind and thoughtful that I caught up with you at all! ;)
L - I've known too many people who have developed thick skins and think that just because they can take it everyone else should have to take it too. Thank you for not being one of them.
And John, I'm really glad you created this place. I don't know how it is, but I've articulated some things here I haven't done anywhere else, and I'm grateful.
rsf
RSF - it's the people here, I think. Nothing to do with me, I just...say things.
L - well, then because you're better at talking about that sort of thing in public than I am. And no, the Army doesn't count as public so anything Spence or any of that lot told you at the funeral...feel free to disregard.
All Spence and the others did was express their surprise that I had managed not just to keep you on one continent, but in one city, dear Danger.
I promise not to mention anything about your penchant for lipstick, only wearing your boots and your helmet (and a well placed sock), where the medical depts.' supply of lube went or anything else like that.
Lies, all lies! At least about the lube.
Where did it go then, if it didn't go where they said it went??
Where did they say it went?? Not answering until I know. Unscrupulous lying bastards, all of them, and any more of my friends you might meet in the future... Especially Murray!
As a police officer I could never divulge what a witness said to the suspect. Basic rules, Danger! However, I must tell you that anything you don't say now and later rely on in court may harm your defence, okay?
I made Murray a Christmas cake. I'm sure he will nothing but honest with me.
Aren't you at least supposed to tell me what the charges are?
He is easily won over with booze-soaked baked goods, I admit.
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
1) People who don't wash or brush your teeth. I think it's disgusting, and I won't get near you if you smell like you don't know the meaning of soap and water.
2) Smoking. It's one of the sure fire things that sets my asthma off, and just being around someone who smokes can be enough to trigger it.
3) Manipulating. Especially the mind games that some people play, or the "woe is me, love me or I will fall into despair" games.
4) Clingyness and neediness. It's nice to be needed and wanted, but I want someone who has their own life, their own friends, and who isn't going to fall into a pit of despair if I make plans with someone else. I have my own life, I want the other person to have their's as well. Meeting in the middle and creating a new niche in the person's life is part of the fun of a relationship.
May I just say, John, that your time in the military sounds a lot more... adventurous? Than mine.
Where did all the lube go? The world may never know.
Danger - you know what the charges are. Misappropriation of Army Property. Namely - All The Lube.
I wince for those poor soldiers who got that sort of examination after supplies had...run dry.
It was nowhere near ALL the lube!
You tell us what happened, we'll form our own opinions.
you know this is becoming one of those 'the truth can't be as bad as what people are imagining' moments don't you John ;-)
AnonyBob - after my crack earlier about ... examinations, plus this conversation... I'm going to need to close my eyes and scrub my brain just thinking about where Danger's fingers do end up when he's at work...
(Maybe crack was the wrong choice of word there...)
Ha!
closing your eyes will only produce more images ;-) brain bleach is the only answer!
doctor's have the best jobs ;-)
John - lipstick?
Lestrade - perhaps you need John to provide you with some better images to think about. After all, as he pointed out, you did come up with four things ;-)
I say we collaborate on more booze soaked baked goods for Murray and then give him a link to the blog!
I'll start as soon as I stop giggling.
He'll find it eventually. I live in fear...
I'm formulating my answers carefully lest they be misinterpreted.
As if we would misinterpret...
By the way, talking about socks losing their pairs last night, I meant to add what we do in this flat.
The radiator on the stairs is a lonely hearts club for socks. They stay there until they find their other half. Some, sadly, have been lonely a while... I might just let them play the field together.
seriously John you're really spending time trying to write something that won't be misinterpreted? you know your bolgs better than that surely ;-)
socks should never match it's easier on the laundry that way :-)
AnonyBob - I think he's actually worried the real answer will be too tame, after our minds have all run wild all this time.
He's also spending quite a lot of time making threats against my person. Assaulting me with soft furnishings. Begging me not to go and ask Mrs Hudson if I can borrow some lippy...
I'm going to need to close my eyes and scrub my brain just thinking about where Danger's fingers do end up when he's at work...
Just don't think about it. Or if you do, at least remember I'm wearing gloves.
The lube... There may have been a small amount appropriated for use in a wrestling contest on which there was some heavy betting. That's all.
Were you... lubed up and in the ring. So to speak. Giant Dangerstacks?
Notthinkingaboutit.
I only have white, green and black socks, each of the same make/model, so pairing is easy. You don't even have to pair them, then! Just have a little drawer of each color, and pull two out when you need 'em.
I refer you to Item #2 of my "9 Things" entry.
I decline to say whether I participated or not.
all the time taken didn't work John.
Well lubed doc in the ring!
Which, as Sherlock would say, 'means yes'.
Does not.
Is that what they said or did they make up something worse?
AnonyBob - I have no doubt that he and his ring were well lubed. Probably got on top of his opponent with a Butt-Drop, before finishing up with a Big Splash.
Speaking of, Danger, you can always practice your best moves on me....
Not telling you what they said. That would put you out of your misery...
You're meannnnn.
And before anyone gets carried away, let me add that no one was naked for this, especially not me!
the 'especially not you' makes it all so much more believable John ;-)
I'm sure Danger has practiced those moves on you more than a few times Greg ;-)
I just wanted make sure it was clear!
And he's not going to see any moves tonight if he keeps on laughing like that.
Danger doesn't believe I didn't make those wrestling moves up.
And quite, AnonyBob. 'Especially not me' is not especially believable.
I think I might need to drag him to bed and brush up on some of his ...grips and grappling.
mmm... naked lubed wrestling.... ;) Making myself go do work was worth coming back to this.
I have a friend who just never wears socks that match. Then, no problem. I've never asked about her sock drawer though -- I assume she just throws them all in in a jumble.
ryo
It was not at all naked! It was just a bit of fun to pass the time, honestly. All of you stop picturing orgies this minute.
Clues from the current game are in this post now.
And I'm going to chase L to bed.
you were the one who kept us waiting all night for an explanation John you have to accept that we will form our own ideas if you don't tell us the truth soon enough ;-)
ryo I think I might just have a clue for your game just got to come up with something that works now :-)
ryo
hannah but not bill?
nap but not sleep?
In John's defense, may I direct everyone's attention to this video, made by some guys also trying to pass the time? Being a soldier can do weird things to you. ;-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haHXgFU7qNI
Oh wait, maybe I've got it.
Flow but not stream?
Madam but not mister?
Straw but not grass?
Pip - thank you! ...Sort of. It could've been worse, it was almost a slip n slide instead.
Chase me, Chase me! :)
(my phone insists you chafe me. Please don't...)
If I actually sussed this one I will be amazed!! :-)
nice vid Pip but really it just confirms that soldiers will do anything doesn't it ;-)
yep, yep. pandanon and john are right on!
coming up with words that actually work is the hard part -- that's why I was so impressed when DW came up with deified.
bored soldiers seem to have a certain similarity to bored college students....
ryo
Excellent, thanks Ryo!
Right, off to chafe my boyfriend.
thanks ryo :-)
I'll sleep well tonight having actually worked one out :-)
pandanon -
in retrospect (and with the aid of google), it is actually technically a game of sleep, as well. not something I would commonly think of.
ryo
ah yes it is but not of slumber?
Anonybob
Compared to others, my activities of removing hummer doors and drawing mustaches on sleeping comrades with shoe polish seem very mild mannered.
Ryo, I'm completely stumped. Could you give us the answer? *Begs*
My brain just can't find any connection.
Civic not citizen
Racecar not tank
Kant not Descarte
Rotator not cuff
Raw not cooked
War not peace
Yar not ahoy
Ray not Charles
kant does not work -- i think you got a bit carried away, dw! And yar? really? :)
John, Lestrade -- any plans for a solutions post as earlier proposed?
WARNING!!!! possible spoiler!!!!
Hints for pip:
1) Notice that any palindrome automatically works (civic, deified...)
2) Also, drawer works and that necessarily means that reward also works. Think about the connection between these two words.
If you're still lost, pip, I'd be happy to reveal the solution in so many words. Let me see if a solution post materializes...
ryo
Not carried away; unable to spell. :( I was only trying to think of one that would help pip. If it'd been knat, it would have worked.
Yes! Finally, I got it...I think...feeling a little slow and unobservant here, but here goes.
Stew but not boil
Flog but not beat...
Do these work?
yes, imachar! way to go.
ryo
(who is in class, but we're taking a break right now -- seriously this class is SO boring.... )
Now, I've worked out ryo's game, and rsf's, but I'm still stuck on Mycroft's! Argh!
And something for Sherlock - I meant to post this a week ago. I found this spider drowned in a tub of water in my backyard. I've never seen one like it! I don't know what kind it is, unfortunately :(
... oops. I meant Lancs' game, not rsf.
OK! Now I get it! Now I know why I always lose at riddles and Scrabble, lol! Thanks for the answer!
Just to make sure,
Murder but not kill?
Dew but not water?
well, I think murder is debatable -- isn't that just a plot device and not real? dew is definitely correct.
ryo
(way to go, pip!)
Ah. Now I've got it.
Nip but not bite.
Was but not is.
dog but not cat.
(It was the clue that said it wasn't a game of "die" that threw me, because I deal with a lot of holiday books from different cultures.)
rsf -- that didn't occur to me, even though I've actually heard of that holiday. my mistake!
depending on what languages we allow, it is possibly a game of is. :)
glad I was able to challenge people -- I know the other games have been challenging me.
ryo
rsf, if you were following the same rules as me, I think we can do ours?
Liver not heart or lungs
Unapologetic not remorseful
Even not odd
Panama not Nicaragua
DW - Not quite what I was thinking, but close enough that I can suss out what you were thinking.
So it would be a game of Arabic not French
and a game of robot not mannequin, yes?
Ryo, I think I've read those book titles so often that I've sort of elided words into my vocabulary, but if we start playing this in more languages than English, I'm definitely doomed. Even American to British is throwing me now and then. I should have started learning languages when I was little. (Do Sherlock and Mycroft have languages at school? I seem to remember Greek and Latin being mentioned and... Portuguese? Hm. Gulping down over a year's worth of blogs isn't necessarily good for retention.
Ro - what part of the world are you in? I've got a book at my library called "Know the Spiders" I can look at in the morning, but it may only be for North America.
Yes, rsf. Also, double bonus points for using "elided" in a sentence. :)
Wow - I'm still so freaking lost on the games because I've been away - I don't even have any idea where to start.
And isn't vacation supposed to be relaxing? When I get home I think I'll need a vacation from my vacation!
Here's my 4 turn-offs, as I missed all the other things:
1. Emotional manipulation. Don't.
2. Trying too hard to be something you're not.
3. Expecting instead of allowing things to develop naturally (gah, that will kill the mood faster for me than almost anything. Set a "date night" and it's a non-etc. guarantee.)
4. Horrible hygiene. Look, if you want me to do certain things to you with certain parts of me, you had better be clean.
When I get home I think I'll need a vacation from my vacation!
Isn't that the way it goes, though, Maz? Or, even worse, getting sick on vacation. If only there was some way to fool the universe into thinking you were on vacation when you weren't so it really would be one when you were.
RSF - I'm in Melbourne, Australia. I'd love to know what kind it is! I tried looking up venomous spiders of Victoria (my state), but no joy. I guess it just *looks* poisonous!
Maz, DW, so true, by the time you've got home and sorted everything out it feels like you've not had a break at all. And thank you for asking DW, my trip was great, saw lots of new places that I want to go back to as there wasn't enough time to explore properly.
Ro have you still got it? Can I have it?
How's school Sherlock? I hope you've been learning interesting things :-)
Hope work is treating you well John and you to Greg :-)
Birthday morning passed with great excitement and no mention at all of the missing present so I think the upset was overtaken by the excitement :-) (sadly I think we're going to have to cancel her friend coming for birthday tea on Friday because friends mummy is in hospital trying not to have a baby! but I think she'll understand that)
Where did the last five years go?!!
Pandabob - Hippo Birdee to the birthday cub! I hope by Friday her friend can come over. (Friend's father may be happy of the distraction factor by then!)
Sherlock, I hope Ro's kept the spider too. I may need to know what the underside looks like. But it would be neat if you could add it to your collection. It may be poisonous -- most things that brightly colored are, or are pretending to be -- so you'd have to be very careful handling it.
Maz, Lestrade has put up an answers post, so I'm about to go reveal my secrets there. But if you'd rather have more clues instead, just say so.
Sherlock, I do still have it - I've left it where I found it. I'm not so sure it'd survive packaging and sending to England, though. It's quite waterlogged, and I'm concerned it may be disintegrating. (Good lord, it actually took me 6 attempts to get the spelling right - I think I need sleep!) I'll try to check him out before the light goes tomorrow. I'm hoping to at least get some good macro photos before it falls apart.
Ro, it might survive a trip to your local museum, if my books turns out to be unhelpful. That's what we did with a gigantic caterpillar we found in our garden one year, and the museum had an expert who was actually really happy to see it because it was outside the normal range.
AnonyBob - if you find the last five years then tell me where! I could put them to good use now :)
Glad the birthday morning went well. Happy Birthday to Small-Panda.
Sherlock, I'm not sure our flat needs a soggy dead spider, really.
DW - I hesitate to do this, because so far my record isn't stellar...
Demilitarized , but not peaceful? United Arab Emirates, but not Abu Dhabi?
And having struggled to think of examples, I sincerely apologise to other players if they're wrong and send you off in the wrong direction!!
I'm worse than Sherlock - have a meeting now and want to know if I was right!
potato, but not carrot?
feta but not cheddar?
Yes, Lestrade! I was beginning to think no wanted to play anymore.
Sorry, been in back to back to back to back meetings this morning. You, too Dox.
Sarah and James but not Norman?
Bob and Pat but not Wendy?
Federer and Nadal but not Djokovic?
DW--fine, but not good?
Okay, but not iffy?
(I am currently none of the above still. :( )
(I guess "okay" being right would depend on how strict your rules are, though.)
So why couldn't I think of any short words that fit??
By the way, Danger, I did obey your command, on my blog.
If I've got it right, lots of three-letter words fit...but I like your long ones better, L, I was wondering how you ever came up with those!
Well done, everyone. Clearly mine wasn't hard enough for such a smart sett.
Woot! Lestrade, those were truly excellent examples! And pandabob, looks like you've got it too.
I'll be at work in a couple of hours, Ro. Any chance you can measure your spider?
I found some neat spider websites for Australia, Sherlock, if you want to know more about them.
http://www.findaspider.org.au/find/spiders/Medium.htm
http://www.termite.com.au/spider-identification.html
http://ednieuw.home.xs4all.nl/australian/Spidaus.html
http://spiders.zacharoo.com/index.html (he has words for "spider" in different languages on his introduction page)
http://australianmuseum.net.au/Spiders/ (The museum might be a good place to send your picture, Ro.)
RR, I'm not sure I'd allow okay, but DW's good with it, so hooray!
And that last comment sat waiting for me to remember to do the captcha for at least forty minutes. *headdesk*
At least I knew why it could be problematic! :)
beef gravy on toast! I cannot believe that it took me so long to figure this one out. I was about to give up!
Speaking of which....
It's a game of give, but not present.
And a game of color, but not green.
And, depending on how you want to interpret the rule rr so subtly referred to,
a game of syzygy, but not eclipse.
ryo
(gethoth was the filter word...)
It's a game of tape, but not Scotch.
It's a game of Rome, but not Dubrovnik. (Blame my calendar for that one.)
It's a game of code, but not program.
It's a game of bug, but not pest.
Well done, ryo and CB!
Ooh, my first attempt DW:
Fine but not well
Feline but not cheetah?
Yup, SH! Clearly, I have no future in puzzle-making.
Don't give up, I was just excited at finally having solved one!
I just got back from a road trip (home from my last meeting, yay!) but we played yellow car because that was about all the mental energy we had left. And nowy friend says I'm evil for introducing her to it.
DW, it's a good puzzle -- and I bet Sherlock can get it, if he's still interested.
Ro, went and posted the spider information at L's blog, but I'm thinking woodlouse spider. Your picture seems to be the underside.
And now I'm wondering how to scan pages of the book for Sherlock, because there's a really good diagram of the names of spider parts.
thankyou for all the birthday wishes for the short one, she had a great day and has been spoilt rotten :-)
DW I liked your puzzle because I could actually work it out :-)
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