Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.
I think this is going to end up being seven things that have crossed my mind a lot in the past week, whether I intend it to be or not.
1. How I could be doing a better job with the boys.
2. Murray, who's due home fairly soon. I don't know if he plans to go back.
3. How I could've been a better son.
4. Or just...how to be better generally, I suppose. Feel like I keep screwing up recently.
5. Red, his mum, how kind she's been to me in the past.
6. That BMW.
7. How lucky and grateful I am to have Lestrade in my life.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.
93 comments:
(I'm pretty sure the only possible thing to say for the first one is, you couldn't. :))
You could swap the subjects of the last two, if you wanted.
Bloke at the dealership is just waiting for you to call and confirm colour and specs. It's all ordered and paid for up to the fine details... thought you might need cheering up after this weekend. Lead time on the order is 2-3 weeks, depending exactly what you want.
As for one... we just do our best, yeah? No one can ask for more. And if our best gets better over time, then it's all good.
Also, I haven't noticed you screwing up...
It is always an endeavour to do better for the children in your care, constant review of the situation makes for good guardians :-)
I don't know the grounds on which you think you keep screwing up but being a better son is not what you're on earth to do (your parents made the choice to have you they are responsible for your happiness not the other way round.) I am sure you have never intentionally done anything purely to 'be a bad son' have you? you have lived your life as you chose to do and right now you are doing a pretty fab job of building a family for the four of you :-)
Buy the BMW you NEED it ;-)
You are...amazing. Thank you. :)
Only reflecting your amazingness back at you.
OMG Greg great job :-)
red John? it's amazing in red :-)
Yes, in red. I'd call them right now if they were open.
Aw, now I haz a big happy! (Awesome, L. :))
brilliant :-) I'm guessing you know what time they open in the morning?
Greg you know how to put a smile on your doc's face that's for sure ;-)
That's brilliant, Lestrade! I bet John's going to look fantastic riding it!
I'll certainly have to spend lots of time riding behind him, Piplover. I mean, looking out for him, for safety, that sort of thing.
Not looking at his arse. Much. At all.
I'm guessing you know what time they open in the morning?
I might have some general knowledge of their hours...
L - I love you.
Brilliant :-)
Just remember to buy yourself some very nice leathers to go with it ;-)
John, you don't strike me as having been screwing up recently, or generally.
Lestrade - Wonderful :-)
I told him you'd probably call Monday. But he'll know as soon as you call that I just gave in a few days early :)
I love you too.
Y'know, I don't think I've ever wanted a red motorcycle before. You two are corrupting me. Thank you.
As for the boys, John, from this angle you seem to be doing an amazing job with the things you have control over. It's not like you started from scratch with them, after all, and kids are always a work in progress. Also, if your mom is really good at automatically saying 'elbows off the table' and things like that, it's because she had to repeat those things ad infinitum ad nauseum when you and your sister were kids, hoping they'd sink in. (Incidentally, re: elbows on the table, would Sherlock like a serious answer? Because I've got a five inch scar on my left elbow from an operation for ulnar neuropathy and I can cite chapter and painful verse if necessary.)
sherlock doesn't need a serious answer to the question RSF he just needs to learn the phrase 'I have one mum and two guardians and that's enough people to tell me what to do thankyou very much' ;-)
The motorbike thing is a corruption, I've even got as far as finding out how and where I can do my CBT! my dad is going to kill me and it's all the Doc's and the DI's fault ;-)
Well, no question but that your Saturday will start excellently well! Shabbat shalom, gentlemen. :)
Er... sorry, pandabob, but I've had children spout that kind of thing at me at the library (usually when I've asked them to take their feet of the table, or remove themselves long enough to finish their ice cream outside of the building) and it makes me scrabble frantically at the rags of my temper every time. I have a responsibility to make sure that the library is a pleasant place for everyone to visit, and that means I have rules I have to enforce. I do try to provide the kids with the serious reasons for things like "no food" (it keeps the mice so unhappy they go live somewhere else) but the rules do matter. And the kids won't necessarily learn them from their parents. Sherlock needs to understand that sometimes he will be given directives from adults who aren't John, his mum, or Lestrade, and while it makes good sense for him to ask why, most of the time he should ask it while he's doing as he's told.
As for the elbows, leaning on them can damage the nerves leading to your hands over time, as I've found out the hard way. And I'm not real thrilled about the "cure" so far.
RSF - I would never suggest he questioned MRS T or anyone like that but when his guardians are by his side he has every right to say they are who makes the rules not you. If a librarian spoke to my four year old instead of me I wouldn't be happy sorry, I'm guessing you deal with kids without adult supervision though and that is a very different thing. :-)
Sherlock does what authority figures tell him (most of the time) like any child but John and Greg make the rules when they are there not someone who has different rules than those he is brought up to live by. :-)
Well done, Lestrade. :)
Sure sounds like someone's in the running for your award next year, though, doesn't it? Piercings come next!
when his guardians are by his side he has every right to say they are who makes the rules not you
I would say that there's at least one exception to that, Anonybob - if you're in someone else's house, then unless their rules are unreasonable, my view would be that it's their house, their rules.
Most of the kids who spout that kind of thing at me are older than Sherlock, too. And yes, they're there alone. But I do speak to four year olds before their parents if the four year olds are climbing the shelves or doing something unsafe. (Or wandering out of sight of the parents, which happens all the time.) Once I have identified which parent goes with which child (not always even close to obvious) then I engage the parent. A lot of the decison about who to talk to first about food, though, comes down to how high the stickiness quotient is. I need to stop the little fingers before they've ruined my last copy of Curious George!
I have had parents get indignant that I spoke to their child instead of them, but very very rarely. And I'll admit, if I had a child say something like that, even with a parent standing there, I'd be really quite content to see the back of that family forever, because I know I'm going to hear the same routine when the child is alone later.
(John, I'm sorry for hijacking your blog like this. Apparently I'm doomed to splinters from my soapbox tonight regardless...)
I'd personally like both the boys (and everyone else, for that matter) to do what they're told by anyone who is in a position to be telling them things, providing it's something which doesn't put them or anyone else in any danger or is unreasonable.
Things like table manners, which, in the grand scheme of things, are fairly insignificant, then yeah, they should obey the rules of the house.
They're both perfectly intelligent enough to understand when it is and isn't okay to ignore someone/refuse to do something/question what they've been told.
I don't want them to blindly follow orders, but I don't think we have anything to worry about on that score. They're too sharp to let anyone take advantage.
Maybe. You're right nameless :-) my kids behave well when they are out and about because I expect it just like John and Greg do they wouldn't let Sherlock misbehave they don't need someone else telling him off when they are there it undermines the guardians and makes the child uncomfortable. Tell me what your rules are and I'll enforce them :-)
Anonybob
I don't think I can really generalise, but what it would be good for Sherlock to learn from this specific situation is that sometimes you do things to make other people more comfortable, even when you personally don't see the reasons for them. He has a bit of trouble with things like that, but I imagine most six-year-olds do.
DW - just piercings? Not a massive tattoo of the motorcycle on my back?
Yes, L. You said that so much better than I did. And I actually like it when kids ask me why my rules are there. Most house rules have a reason, if if the reason is only "it's traditional".
My personal feeling about rules, from the "authority figure" side of the equation, is that you shouldn't have more hard and fast rules than the ones you care about when it comes to kids, because you won't be consistent about enforcing the ones you don't care about. (And consistency works better than anything else with kids. As long as I always enforce the rule, then the kids will comply when I tell them to stop breaking it, even if they grumble. Inconsistent rules not so much.)
The hard part is when you're trying to instill a "good" habit or stop a "bad" habit, because you know how many mistakes you made yourself in the lack of that rule. That's when explaining why gets embarrassing!
Ok so the original ;-) was supposed to show I wasn't altogether serious but hey ho sorry for upsetting people.
John, most six year olds are pretty copacetic about listening to the rules without asking why -- at least until they see something shiny! Sherlock sounds like a handful, sometimes, but the really fun and rewarding kind of handful, and the great thing about him wanting to know why the rule is there is that he wants to understand it on more than "just because a grownup said" level.
Maybe you can name the motorcycle and get a heart tattoo with the name in the middle...
*looks at last few comment*
Yeah, I did kind of go off there. Sorry, pandabob. Clearly I need a nap.
Maybe I should have put "deal with children" in my list of things I think about all the time!
Its fine rsf I'd hope by now Greg and John don't think I would be encouraging Sherlock to misbehave (although you never know they might!) I was more standing up for them as Sherlock's guardians and him understanding the expectations of him because they are so consistent with him.
I teach teenagers (when I get the chance) so I know the kind of issues you were talking about. :-)
I used to hate going to my grandparents when I was little. My mum was always so nervous and not herself, my dad watched every word he said which meant very few laughs and jokes which were normally plentiful and I spent the whole time being told off for things that were normally ok and my mum and dad just sat there because they were too uncomfortable to say anything. I ended up upset and I was really upset with my mum and dad for letting me take the telling off because it was easier than falling out with my grandparents.
I'm with pandabob in that I think she was being specific to this situation not in general and for someone who Sherlock doesn't know but who he knows is making the two most important men in his life unhappy or atleast uncomfortable (he's a child so the two are pretty much the same) to be telling him off for things L and John wouldn't normally is not a happy or comfortable place for him to be and he should be listened to (not just the words but what they really mean) when he wants to say no. Its no wonder he is feeling like climbing things and running around he will have all kinds of nervous energy on top of his normal Sherlock energy.
Oar stuck right in and now I'll go away again.
It was supposed to be specific to this situation you're right anon. If the people he looks to to gauge his safety and security don't appear to be themselves around someone then he is going to be unsure about following their instructions it's basic survival instinct.
Generally as I said I would never encourage Sherlock to ignore those in authority I just feel this specific situation is a bit different.
Should have kept my mouth shut though I think.
Perhaps it's just the way I was raised, but my mother and father always made it clear that I, and my siblings, were to respect others rules when we were at someone else's place. Whether my parents were with us or not, the house was not mine, therefore, not my family's rules.
I remember visiting my grandparents once and being chased off the lawn of the neighbor. Yes, I was chased off the lawn by a little old lady. When I told my mother, she told me I shouldn't have trespassed. Even today I don't walk on someone's lawn unless I'm invited.
The things we learn as children stick with us in ways we can't imagine as we're experiencing them. I have to agree wholeheartedly with Lestrade, in that figures of authority are there for a reason. If a child is told not to do something, usually the parent is there to enforce that. But not all parents are good parents, and not all will listen.
And now I'll get off my own soapbox and change the subject. I saw this and immediately thought of Sherlock and everyone here. Aren't they amazing??
http://pinktentacle.com/2007/09/kiri-origami-creatures/
Coming to this a bit late, but I suppose like everyone who has kids, or is responsible for kids, or has to deal with them on a regular basis, I have to stick my oar in too.
I think expecting kids to (and teaching them to) respect authority figures is essential to raising a decent member of society - and John's point about learning that sometimes you do things for others even when you don't understand why is also critical. And as piplover said, not all parents are good parents.
Even if they are, then it's not a bad thing to teach kids that while some rules are constant (your rules) others will change depending on the circumstances of place and situation and it's as well to be prepared for that.
What I'm having a hard time with mine, is teaching her to be respectful of her elders when they say things that I find damaging and abhorrent - and even at 4, the parents of her peers (and a few of the teachers' aides at her school) say things I find appalling (bigoted, gender essentialist and ignorant) and I still haven't found a good way to tell her to ignore what x's mummy has to say about, for example, girls and martial arts, without risking her going off and saying "My mummy thinks you're an idiot." (Never had an unvoiced thought, my child). Kind of wandering off topic there sorry.
Happy red BMW John...
Seriously John do you really mean that? Should Sherlock really be a nicer more mature person than your mum? Within hours of meeting Sherlock she was accusing him of not being very nice to lestrade because he calls him lestrade, she wasn't really taking his comfort around her and with new people into account was she?
My kids have respect for those in authority and I demand they behave well but if someone challenged them on what they call me or their other mum (people always have opinions on that) then that would be the last time they were expected to listen to them.
Those kiri-origami figures are really neat, pip!
(And yes, I went and took a nap. Well, slept, really as it's now three a.m. and the neighbors are playing their stereo just loud enough that I am being bombarded by the backbeat and not quite loud enough to call the police.)
The thing about showing respect for elders is hard, when it comes to kids, because you're right, imachar, there are some attitudes that don't deserve respect. Gradually kids learn when it's better to keep your mouth shut and when it's better to call people out. It takes even longer for most people to learn to be eclectic in how we listen to other individuals. Because a person can be an idiot on one topic and really quite expert (or fascinating) on some other topic. While John's mum may not have understood the dynamic with what Lestrade likes to be called, for example, she sounds like a really good person to consult on the topic of suet pudding.
Although I am kind of nervous about googling suet pudding. I think of suet as bacon fat -- or something to put on trees to make birds happy! Is this an American/British English difference?
Missy, I think it's all dependent on the situation. This wasn't some random person, it was John's Mum. Sherlock had already been told to listen to her about rules in the house. (shoes off, no dogs, no feet on the furniture, no food in the front room that she didn't expressly permit.)
She did question what they call me ("Sounds like you're all addressing your butler, not your...guardian or ...partner") but Sherlock just shrugged it off with his usual lack of interest for people expressing views about things which are none of their business. He has that skill down a little too well, sometimes.
I definitely wouldn't say that because she found it odd that they all call me by my surname that gives him free reign to ignore everything else she says!
...and we're climbing a mountain. It's tiring. And John.... Thanked me, really quite thoroughly last night for the bike. Being thanked quite that...enthusiastically is perhaps not the ideal preparation for mountain climbing.
Although I'm definitely thinking of him a lot. With every step, you could say...
I hope the mountains not too high then Greg ;-)
A good ride is the only proper thankyou for a new bike isn't it? ;-)
Have a lovely day all of you :-)
Anonybob
They're taking ages and I'm allowed to go ahead and then wait but sometimes I go back and walk with them too and it's fun.
I guess your right Greg I just kind of think that expecting Sherlock to be on best behaviour and 'hope he learns that sometimes you do things to make other people feel comfortable even when you don't see why' is a bit of a stretch for a 6 year old in a very stressful environment when John's mother can remark on how he addresses the men he loves.
I'm not saying he was right to question her just that maybe expecting him to consider her feelings when she had upset him, probably totally unintentionally but still not with much thought for his feelings might be expecting a bit much. Sherlock is the child after all.
I hope the mountain has everyone tired by the end and you not too sore!
Pip - those origami creatures are amazing.
RSF - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suet It's typically a solid beef fat, used in the UK in both savoury and sweet cooking. It makes a heavy sort of sponge base for puddings (that's filling in a spongy pastry case, or fillings mixed through the sponge, rather than the use meaning of pudding). The texture of the spongey stuff is quite distinctive. You can get a vegetarian version, but it's relatively rare.
Lestrade - It's clear that John's a well-brought-up guy with excellent manners, so it's no surprise that he... thanked you for such a wonderful and thoughtful gift. Vigorously.
It's nice that you can still feel his... gratitude today :-p
Sherlock - I'm glad you're having fun. Are there lots of bugs about? I would think you'd find quite different bugs on a Scottish mountain than you do in London parks.
Mycroft - are you having a good day? I imagine the dogs are enjoying the great outdoors?
Ok!
The comment I made last night was supposed to be a joke, it was in line with many that have never received such a reaction before and it came with a ;-) just to make sure everyone knew I was kidding.
My mistake maybe but I really didn't mean to open up a debate like has been going on since.
John, Greg I am really sorry, I know that this trip is stressful enough without this.
I promise to try and be more careful in future and keep a few of my parenting opinions to myself.
Glad you're having fun Sherlock :-)
Yay for mountain climbing! (At least for them that aren't finding it an exercise in "remembering" instead of just exercise... ;D )
I lived in Colorado when I was a kid, so I did a lot of it. Sherlock, my mom let us run ahead too. Her rule (another situational rule!) was that we had to stay withing "eyeshot" so she could see if we'd tripped, or put our feet down wrong on the rocks. She *said* it was in case we met up with an upset pika or a cranky marmot, but I never did, and I really wanted to meet a marmot. I did see one once, but it was trundling away from the trail as fast as it could go. I guess it really was cranky. I used to stop and look out a lot, to see how the view was changing.
Are you going above treeline? Don't step on any of the plants if you do, because it takes them a really long time to grow back or repair the damage.
Within eyeshot. No g.
*headdesk*
I need to find my glasses, don't I?
John or Lestrade points to a thing that I can't go past and then I wait but I have Lestrade's phone too just in case and they shout if I go the wrong way and I'm really careful to stay on the grass bits where everyone walks and the rocks so I don't damage anything because John says anything interesting is only interesting when it's where it is and growing not dead in my hand.
Missy - Do I think it's a lesson he'll get all in one go? No, of course not. He's six. But he is going to respect my mum's rules while he's in her house. I don't think eating with his elbows off the table is too much to ask. Either I can just tell him to do it and give him no explanation, or I can tell him why I think it's important and hope that he starts to learn something from that.
Everyone else - I do realise that some of the choices I make while I'm here may be less than optimal. I'm doing the best I can.
You're doing fine, John.
I might need you to carry me up some of this mountain though. Or give me an energy transfusion from Sherlock.
I don't think anyone was getting at you, this was bound to be a weird trip for you, lots and lots of role clash I would guess.
L - energy transfusion would be ideal. Should've gone to bed earlier last night. I have got coffee and hot chocolate for when we get to the top though...
You're like some sort of handsome gorgeous miracle on legs.
Sherlock has climbed this mountain 3 times now, the way he runs back and forth to us.
Just need some kendal mint cake and the dogs to have a barrel of brandy each...
John - every parent/guardian I know has a different opinion about parenting choices. As far as I can see, you're doing an excellent job of trying to balance a lot of competing demands on your parenting, at the same time as trying to handle a fairly uncomfortable situation for yourself. Sherlock and Mycroft are lucky kids.
Also, from what Lestrade has said, wouldn't an earlier night have made the mountain more difficult, not less?
God, but it'd be great to be six again!
L - maybe we can send him down and back up again while we rest at the top and then he'll actually be able to sit still for a bit later? Probably too much to hope for...
Nameless - ha, let me rephrase: maybe we should've gone to sleep earlier last night. And thank you. I am trying.
Yup, Sherlock, that's what my mom did. Only we didn't have mobile phones, so it was really important that we didn't get too far away. She didn't have that rule when my big sisters were little, and one time they reached a fork in the trail and went the wrong way and pretty soon everyone was looking for each other and no one was lost, exactly, but it was still a couple of hours before they knew that. Then she tried "stop if the trail forks" as a rule and that didn't work because my next oldest sister didn't want to listen to the oldest sister, and so by the time I was your age the rule was just eyeshot.
We would take magnifying glasses and sketchpads when we climbed so we could remember the interesting things we saw above treeline. I think a cameraphone would be easier, and you wouldn't have to be as careful as we had to be with the magnifying glass not to start a fire.
Did you know that the funny looking pine trees near treeline, the ones that are all twisty and flat, are called "krummholz"? In Colorado, you see them about 11,500 feet above sea level, but in Scotland treeline is a lot lower. I thought the Scottish mountains looked a lot like the Colorado mountains when I visited there.
John, I don't think there is an "optimal" when it comes to being in the middle when two bunches of people you want to like each other come together. But the fact that you thought to bring hot chocolate and coffee for the top of the mountain (and thermoses are HEAVY) tells me that you're doing your best to smooth the inevitable bumps.
Mmm... sleep. Be good.
Not that I didn't very much enjoy being thanked last night... it was very nice.
We should get on the off road course before your bike comes. Give you confidence.
L - that'd be nice. It'd distract me, too. Two to three weeks seems like forever...
Ha, yeah, know that feeling.
Sometimes a bit of anticipation is nice, though ;)
Did you ring them this morning John?
Anticipation builds to ultimate enjoyment ;-)
I did ring them this morning. The guy laughed and said he knew L wouldn't be able to wait till Monday.
Even the garage guy knows his excitement ;-) glad the two to three weeks start now :-)
I hope they make it a rush job!
Have you reached the top of the mountain yet?
(And I'm much amused because the picture part of my captcha is a sign that says "on road" -- more encouragement!)
rabidsamfan, why are they called krummholz? Is that someone's name?
Sherlock, krummholz means "crooked wood" in German. We started using the word in English around 1903 according to the Oxford English Dictionary (which is a really big book about where words in English come from and how they've been used over time.)
I learned it as a word from two very old people we met while climbing up a mountain when I was about your age. They had climbed mountains all over the world and were happy to answer questions and tell stories to me and my sisters while we waited for my mom and my little brother to catch up.
We have reached the top. And eaten sandwiches and fruit and drunk coffee and chocolate.
Its all downhill from here....
Downhill can be harder. Especially because you can't run.
My knees are aching sympathetically for the downward leg!
This mountain could use a ski lift.
*grin* I usually think fondly of ski lifts on the way up mountains nowadays. Or does Sherlock want to be carried having discovered the pitfalls of momentum the hard way?
Sherlock wants to be carried because it's much more fun having a Lestallion to do the hard work.
He even kicks me in the ribs to go faster and pulls my ears to turn me...
And he leans forward so far that both of you constantly look like you're about to launch yourselves headlong down the slope.
Feels like we are too. Chase us if we do. Or send the dogs.
Hm. Maybe I should have said you *shouldn't* run downhill instead of you can't. (Another one of my mom's rules, but one which was enforced by the laws of physics.)
L - Do slow down near any dropoffs, for the sake of John's peace of mind, and if you do keep going fast in the open stretches I hope you don't tumble too far or too hard!
We're not really running. Galloping, sometimes.
I'm too knackered to run!
I should think any mention of knackers would make Lestallions nervous. Knickers on the other hand...
Once Sherlock's rested his legs he can walk again. How long was the trail? (I know better than to ask how high was the mountain, because the highest mountain in Scotland has a top that's lower than Denver, which is where the Colorado mountains start to go up.)
I didn't really look before we started. Maybe L did? Current estimated length: interminable. We must be almost down though. I think down's a lot worse than up.
The temptation on the way down is to not stop as often as you did on the way up, but it's so much harder on your legs and knees going downslope that the breaks are just as important. I always try to stop in the same places both ways. Notice I say try. Good intentions-- paving -- You know the drill.
Mycroft, I haven't forgotten you -- are you and the dogs enjoying the trip down, or do you think up was easier?
Down was easier. Lestrade says that's because my knees are younger. We're getting cleaned up now and then we're going to have dinner with Mr and Mrs Watson again.
Have a lovely dinner. I hope the dessert is as good as the suet pudding was!
I hope you're all enjoying dinner :-) is it your last one before you head home tomorrow or are you there a little longer?
I hope you have a lovely time either way and that they are interested in all your mountain climbing stories and you are all interested in whatever adventures they've had today :-)
Yeah, head home tomorrow.
I hope you get home quickly and safely to your happy little home tomorrow :-)
I didn't want to put this on your new post John so as not to start anything up again but I wanted to say sorry for my manner to you and Greg earlier.
My children have faced questions from strangers but mostly from my family and my partners family about what they call us, do I deserve to be mum when one of them isn't mine? Should they have different names for us depending on who biologically they 'belong' to? do we divide our family up into who I gave birth to and who she did?
I have told my kids to ignore anyone who questions the names they use for me and my partner because its the only way I can stop the tears that come from not understanding why people question them having a mum x and a y mammy.
I really didn't mean to upset either of you but I have children who have experienced the questioning and I really felt for Sherlock and his confusion (however intelligent he is you admit to him struggling with social understanding.)
You are both amazingly good for both boys and I am sorry that I came across as believing anything else or that I come across as horrible because I give my children permission to ignore people who question the very basis of their understanding of how our family works.
Sorry again.
Missy - it's all right, and I guessed that the name issue had been problematic for you in the past. I'm sorry that anyone feels that they have the right to question your role in your children's lives. That's not right; it's horrible, in fact, and I can understand why you would react strongly.
Not to open this discussion again, but I wanted to say--John and L, I think you are taking exactly the right line on this. (I live in my parents' home, so I follow their rules--at age 50--even where I disagree with them. I'm here to help, and doing things that would make them uncomfortable or unhappy would not be helpful in the least.)
And woo hoo for having climbed a mountain! That's a pretty awesome tick on the things-to-do-this-holiday list!
Thanks John I wish the rest of the world was as forgiving as you. I hope Greg's ok with me having been an idiot as well.
I hope you got some sleep eventhough you were awake at 2 and that you have a good trip home.
You weren't an idiot!
I think it's very complicated nowadays, for people to identify family units. I mean, when i was little I hated it when people thought my mother's partners were my dad. But I see why they made that assumption now.
I think our situations are different - and I'm really sorry people ever feel they can question what you or your children refer to each other as a family.
I'm also confident John's parents wont do it again :)
I was an idiot to jump in on something that had already got out of hand from some other poor commenters joke and not only make you two feel bad but also to make her feel she had to come back again and say sorry for making a joke!
Families are funny things and much more complicated now than they were but life is better than when people had to pretend they didn't have two mums or two dads or a wonderful doctor and lovely policeman, at least I think it is.
I hope you're right about John's parents and maybe I should give a few people another chance to get it right with my children, I kind of wish I had your bravery but I think we might talk about it.
I hope the trip home is going well and thankyou for replying to all this eventhough you have new posts up.
I had subscribed to this post so I got an email of your comment missy and I wanted to say please don't feel like an idiot on my account, everyone comments here from there own perspective, that's why I've liked it so much since I dared to comment, and everyone's views are always valued by John and Greg.
I apologised again for what I had said because it probably was daft and I shouldn't have said it at all given the circumstances of the last few days but I thought John and Greg would know I was kidding. I've learnt my lesson and I am keeping my mouth shut more but that is not down to you having commented from a perspective of far more understanding than I have of the situation it's from me wishing not to put them in a worse position because something I say as a joke is taken seriously by others because I don't put it across well enough.
I hope you do well with your family and that you maybe take some inspiration from these two :-)
Anony, I've started, when I'm not sure it will be clear I've been joking, finishing up with "[/joke]" -- fake HTML code meaning "end joke". It's not elegant--but I hope it gets the job done! Feel free to borrow at need. :)
Thanks RR but I'm not really sure what I could have done more than it be in line with other none serious comments I've made and the ;-) on the end, I was more shocked and upset than I should have been when it got the reaction it did so I'll be keeping my mouth shut a lot more :-(
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