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Today I:
-got lept upon by Sherlock
-managed to kiss L's ear goodbye because I wasn't awake enough to aim correctly
-went and collected Mycroft from school, along with the dogs, Mycroft's things, which have multiplied while he's been away, I'm sure of it, and Anthea.
-nearly got vomited upon by Anthea, who barely even protested at being sat down on the sofa with tea and fell asleep thirty seconds later
-discovered that secret agents make worse patients than doctors, soldiers, or coppers
-had a very nice lunch with L and the boys
-spent an astonishingly long time at the florist while we each picked out precisely one third of L's flowers
-saw a turtle (see above)
-came home
-got growled at for trying to take Anthea's temperature
-called in reinforcements (i.e. Mrs Hudson)
-made salad nicoise for dinner with the boys to make up for all the cheese
-gave L his flowers
-managed to aim correctly this time
I'm hoping for more sleep tonight than I've been getting. Been thinking about Red a lot, and his mum. The funeral's Wednesday.
37 comments:
Is that a red-eared slider?! They're my favorites!
Nothing's wrong with kissing Lestrade's ear. Maybe that's your subconscious earring!envy coming through?
I hope you get more sleep, too. And that the funeral is...tolerable. I was going to say helpful, but that's not precisely what I mean. Maybe you can divine my intent anyway.
My ear was very appreciative.
And I will forever now hold Anthea up as a symbol of how much worse I could be when you moan I'm a bad patient. Although to be fair, you seem a lot more scared of her, and are being nicer to her as a result. You just enjoy being mean and commanding at me :)
My flowers are beautiful.
I have no idea what 'to make up for all the cheese' means...
Wednesday...in London? Elsewhere? And shall we get Mrs Hudson to mind the boys?
DW - might be? It definitely had a red bit, as you can see, but I'm not up on turtled identification. Why are they your favourites?
And yeah, I know what you mean about the funeral, I think. I've been to too many to hope for 'closure', but there's...something. It's better than not going.
L - I have no idea what 'to make up for all the cheese' means...
The cheese sauce, the cheese at lunch, the... All right, you weren't with us for the brief pizza snack. But anyway. There's been a lot of cheese, that's all.
In London, yeah. And I suppose so? They can come if they want to, but I can't imagine why they'd want to.
I think...even though it would doubtless be interesting for them, Red's friends and family can probably do with a Sherlock-style quiz about it all. And I definitely count you in that.
If he wants to know things he can ask us when we're back.
I'll get my suit dry cleaned. Unless you want me to wear my uniform. But...I don't know how these things work.
my dad once described waiting for funerals as waiting for the other shoe to drop, life is kind of in limbo until it happens. Not that a funeral makes it over but that it kind of allows you to move on to the next stage, if that makes any sense at all.
I'm glad you've had a nice day with the boys but sorry Anthea is not well that must be horrible for her but she does have lots of people to look after her now she's home with you lot even if she's a worse patient than either of you two ;-)
L - your suit's fine. I can take it to the dry cleaner's if you like, I'll have to get my uniform done too.
Anonybob - yeah. No one likes them, but they are important somehow. That's the point of ceremonies, I suppose. To give the appropriate weight to things.
Anthea does have her own flat somewhere, but I don't think Mrs Hudson will be letting her go tonight.
That is a very cute turtle, poking his head up! My mom has a tiny one that is fun to watch.
Funerals are never easy, but, in my experience, I've found the ritual of it helps me say goodbye a bit easier. Not that there is ever an easy way to say goodbye.
I'll keep you and Red's family in my thoughts on Wednesday.
I'm glad Anthea has someone to look after her :-) home alone and ill is no fun at all!!
I hate funerals and have agreed with my dad that neither of us will go to his (everyone else can but we'll just sit outside together, my mum will never allow it I'm sure) but the last couple I've been to I really needed to, it made it all real if that makes sense.
your advice would be welcome right now, do you want people wishing you well and commenting here with thoughs for red and his friends and family on wednesday or not? I wouldn't want to do anything that day but what you want, it wont alter the fact I'll be thinking of you and all who knew him though :-)
We can take both uniform and suit to the cleaners tomorrow, but might have to pick them up really early Weds, given the bank holidays.
And funerals... a few I've been to I have, oddly, enjoyed. In the sense of realising how many people cared about the person who had died, and knowing how many lives they touched. Some of those, I've definitely left feeling better about things than when I went. It's too easy to only know one aspect of a person, and never realise the other amazing things they've done.
Anonybob - that's...a really kind question, thanks. I always dread that part of losing someone, to be honest, I don't know why. But from you guys I think it would be okay. Yeah.
I went to the funeral of a friend who had taken his own life, having planned it for weeks according to the experts. They had to leave the door of the church open so that everyone could hear the service there were so many people attended. It was kind of a shock that someone could feel so alone that they could do something like he had (there were no skeletons in the closet when it was all sorted out no one knew why) and still have hundreds of people at their funeral!
L - knowing how many lives they touched
There is that.
Thank you for going with me.
I know you'd do the same for me.
I'll leave Mrs H supervising the boys packing for Scotland.
Which will mainly involve saying 'clean pants, Sherlock, not degus. Clean shirts, Sherlock, not degus. Take the degus out of the bag. Where are the degus? Put the degus back in the cage', etc. all day.
Pip - thank you, I appreciate it. A pet turtle or one that lives in her pond?
Anon - I'm sorry about your friend, that is truly sad. I suppose...sometimes the world can just feel like too much and you don't want to bother other people with your problems. Even ones who would've been happy to be bothered.
thanks for the answer John. I hate people saying they are concerned about me or thinking of me so I know where you're coming from and I wanted to be sure I didn't add to a difficult day for you.
I'm glad you two are going together it's good to have a hand to hold.
Thanks John I think that one event probably effects the way I deal with other people more than anything else that has ever happened. I don't nag to know peoples problems but I do make sure they know I am there any time they need me and remind them of it often!
Anonymous - you sound like a great friend. It can be very hard to find that balance between nagging and showing your support. In the fast-paced world of today not enough people take the time just to let others know they're there for them.
Isn't cheese supposed to be comfort food? And I'll admit to wondering which kinds of flowers you each chose, and whether or not the language of flowers was involved.
And now I need to find out what salad nicoise is.
John -- I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday. Possibly trying to distract the boys a bit, because that's the task that usually falls to me on this sort of occasion, but I'll try not to be obnoxious about it.
L - I know what you mean about not feeling like you know how it's supposed to work. But don't fret about it. I've been to several funerals now and no two of them have been alike, even when they were theoretically done within the same traditional context or religion. I think every person and every family and every community has their own way of saying goodbye, and those things all blend together in the moment. You just have to go along as best you can.
Don't be nice to me Greg I don't take it well! there is never not enough time to tell people you care what else is life for than caring for other?
RSF - http://titlisbusykitchen.com/archives/salade-nicoise
Only ours had about a dozen different kinds of olives on it.
L - clean pants, Sherlock, not degus
Heh. We'll say it a few thousand times before we leave and she can take it from there.
Sorry Anonymous :) And I know - I just meet people all the time who wished they'd taken more time to get to know someone/check on them/find time to spend with them. This job never really lets you meet people who have had time to prepare or come to terms with losing someone. It's always sudden and violent and inexplicable.
RSF - I was more meaning about the uniform. If I go to funerals for someone on the force, I would wear my uniform. And obviously John is wearing his to Red's funeral. But John assured me a suit is fine. And I'm very glad to be accompanying him on what will undoubtedly be a very difficult day.
;)
I don't know how you do your job and still remain so lovely Greg but I'm glad you do :)
Thank you for the link, John. I've only just started working my way through the wonders of Titli's kitchen, but it's done wonders for my shopping list.
Maybe Sherlock can create some kind of special maze for the degus while you're gone and rig a webcam so he can see them while you're all up in Scotland. That might persuade him to leave them behind.
And L, I kind of meant the uniform/suit dilemma, though looking at it now I phrased it badly. I think you did the right thing by asking John. Every funeral I've attended has had a different standard. I don't think I've ever done the same thing twice. Sometimes I've been asked to wear black, more frequently I've been asked specifically to avoid it. At my grandmother's funeral my mom wanted us all in dresses, and none of us had a dress that was in a somber shade, so we wound up looking more colorful than the flowers.
My experience of funerals has been... varied. Some have been uncomfortable, some have been cathartic. I remember crying through the whole of my Dad's funeral, but also giggling a couple of times during the eulogy at some particularly funny memories.
It's going to be something of a week, isn't it,one way and another, what with visiting/meeting Rach, Red's funeral, and visiting/meeting John's parents. Fortunately you have each other to keep you steady every step of the way.
I'll be thinking of you Wednesday, John. No matter who or why, funerals are always a difficult and exhausting thing to get through. All the best.
John, my mom has a small turtle in a very large tank. He's got rocks to climb on and fish to play with, and he likes to sit on the waterfall filter and sun himself. The filter looks like this:
http://www.amazon.com/Tetra-Decorative-Reptile-Aquariums-Gallons/dp/B000ICNM96/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1338688268&sr=8-4
He's so cute when he does that, because he'll often have just his two front legs on the rock and the other two sticking off, "sunning."
Aww, such a cute picture, and an event-filled day!
I hope Anthea is feeling better ASAP, and that she lets someone else take care of her for a bit until she's back on her feet.
John - I don't have any personal experience with loss, so you can tell me to back off and I won't mind. :) I hope that by going, you'll be able to share and hear about the best moments of Red's life. He touched your life and made it better, somehow; that's what counts as a legacy. And it might help you to see for yourself how his mother is doing. For some people, healing comes from feeling helpful and doing something, even if it's not a big thing.
I'll be thinking about you and Red and his family on Wednesday.
~A from NW
I woke up to take my thyroid, and will go back to sleep in a moment, but must pause to note that my sister showed my almost-fourteen-year-old nephew the vid about Yellow Car, and apparently he howled with glee. She thanked me anyway, because our mother raised us to be polite even in the face of dubious gifts, and says she expects to have many years of Yellow Car in her future now.
Im glad you had a nice day yesterday John and I hope Wednesday goes as well as it can :)
RSF - Hi it's nice to see someone newer than me around here :) you seem a lot more enthusiastic (braver) about getting involved than I could manage even after a few weeks!
Mycroft - I hope you're enjoying being home. you seem to have had far more freedom to do things this half term and I hope that has made school much more fun :) It's lovely that you have John, Greg and Sherlock close enough to take advantage of every moment of free time you get :)
EBSanon
EBSanon -- Not so much braver as noisier. And I'm not on a phone, so my natural magniloquence comes into play. At least my thumbs don't ache!
I guess I've always been on the careful side of getting to know people RSF wanting to be sure I didn't step on any unknown sore spots, upset anyone or push myself too close before I was sure they wanted to get to know me. I find it difficult not to be really careful especially after my first comments led somewhere I really didn't intend!
These boys and their lovely internet friends really are a lovely caring bunch and I am enjoying slowly getting to know them all :)
EBSanon
Hi RSF, nice to see another familiar face over here.
And a public service announcement to all Badgers, if you plan on boarding a train in the UK first make sure I am not on it if you intend arriving at your destination on time. Today the heating wasn't working in half the train (I know it's June, but the month is deceptive), so they thought of cutting off the cold half, only then the other half starting leaking and there was rather a lot of water coming in with the driver. Hence an unscheduled change of train with accompanying long wait.
The school half term holiday is here
And everyone’s home with good cheer
Mycroft is home to his boys
Sherlock is playing with toys
And John likes to have them all near
A holiday weekend of fun
Which may or may not involve sun
Has friends and family time
This is quite a hard word to rhyme
And many more days yet to run
The week will not be all nice
As you’ll honour the ultimate price
But support and very much love
And many a prayer to above
Will bring the next roll of the dice
Sleep in the day is quite hard
But Sherlock has a mark on his card
Escaping with Mycroft one day
So in bed you can both chose to stay
Although they will sure have a guard.
There is nothing like people you love
For making you thank god above
For giving you time to enjoy
The fun, the laughs and the joy
Of your wonderful family of boys.
Anon who's written poems before :)
That's really lovely Anon, thank you.
That's wonderful, Anon. Thanks. :)
this is about the only way I contribute to your blogs but I do read a lot I just don't know what to say often.
You are both so lovely thanks.
However you want to contribute is perfectly fine, don't worry. Happy to have you here. :)
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