I haven't been sleeping all that well; partly pain and partly nightmares, Sand Clowns, etc. Have you ever seen a camel spider? Don't google them. I mean it.
You're doing it anyway, aren't you? Don't say I didn't warn you. Here's a bet, if you care to take it: at least 12% of all nightmares related to the desert, or fighting in it, involve camel spiders.
I actually like spiders. Nice English spiders. European ones might be all right too. I don't like waking up with camel spiders two inches from my face and looking at me like I'm something good to eat. Never mind how much bigger you are, that spider was thinking. I can take you down.
Sherlock has not seen any more tennis. I've been running him pretty hard in the day so he won't wake up at night, because if he wakes up he will head for the telly, and once he's interested in something, getting him back to sleep is... I was going to say a nightmare, but those involve sleep. It's something awful that involves no sleep whatsoever. Possibly a camel spider.
This is all a roundabout way of saying that when I got the (tennis-related) call from his school, I was not in the best mental state.
How was it tennis-related, you ask? Seems Sherlock decided to start giving lessons. Indoors. Using books as racquets and a kiwi from someone's lunch as a ball. (In his defense, they don't exactly look like fruit, but I can't really say they look like balls either. Unless you mean the other sort of balls.) The only good thing that can be said about the situation is that the kiwi wasn't quite ripe, so it held up fairly well, and when it went the splatter was minimal.
(Not quite minimal enough, however. Apparently, I'm on the hook for the cost of a little girl's Gucci dress. Two hundred pounds. I suppose it's déclassé to offer to get the stain out myself.) <Just send me bill. I'll take care of it.> (...Er. Right. Do you read all of these before I post them?) <Only the relevant ones.> (How do you know which are... You know what, never mind.)
His teacher's on his side, but the headmistress is talking seriously about not keeping him on once the trial period is over.
...I don't know if that's good or bad, to be honest.
In closing, there is a very important poll in the sidebar to your right, up at the top. Please do take a look at it.
You're doing it anyway, aren't you? Don't say I didn't warn you. Here's a bet, if you care to take it: at least 12% of all nightmares related to the desert, or fighting in it, involve camel spiders.
I actually like spiders. Nice English spiders. European ones might be all right too. I don't like waking up with camel spiders two inches from my face and looking at me like I'm something good to eat. Never mind how much bigger you are, that spider was thinking. I can take you down.
Sherlock has not seen any more tennis. I've been running him pretty hard in the day so he won't wake up at night, because if he wakes up he will head for the telly, and once he's interested in something, getting him back to sleep is... I was going to say a nightmare, but those involve sleep. It's something awful that involves no sleep whatsoever. Possibly a camel spider.
This is all a roundabout way of saying that when I got the (tennis-related) call from his school, I was not in the best mental state.
How was it tennis-related, you ask? Seems Sherlock decided to start giving lessons. Indoors. Using books as racquets and a kiwi from someone's lunch as a ball. (In his defense, they don't exactly look like fruit, but I can't really say they look like balls either. Unless you mean the other sort of balls.) The only good thing that can be said about the situation is that the kiwi wasn't quite ripe, so it held up fairly well, and when it went the splatter was minimal.
(Not quite minimal enough, however. Apparently, I'm on the hook for the cost of a little girl's Gucci dress. Two hundred pounds. I suppose it's déclassé to offer to get the stain out myself.) <Just send me bill. I'll take care of it.> (...Er. Right. Do you read all of these before I post them?) <Only the relevant ones.> (How do you know which are... You know what, never mind.)
His teacher's on his side, but the headmistress is talking seriously about not keeping him on once the trial period is over.
...I don't know if that's good or bad, to be honest.
In closing, there is a very important poll in the sidebar to your right, up at the top. Please do take a look at it.
17 comments:
I've seen camel spiders and imagine waking up nose-to-fang with one is nightmare inducing but not as much as dealing with parents who will dress their little kid in clothing that expensive.
I admit, I voted for fashion myself. I didn't even know Gucci made children's clothing. It forces one to contemplate any number of questions, but I think the most pressing is WHY?
Sorry. I've never had a nightmare about children's clothes...
I had a mate in the Army who used to have nightmares about doll clothes. He said they were always hiding just out of sight, plotting against him. (In his dreams, that is; I don't mean to imply he was that mad when he was awake.)
What about Australian spiders?
How is this not awesome?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v299/lheah/1194055335909.jpg
I am completely terrified of spiders. The mere of sight of them makes me scream in terror, but somehow dealing with expensive children clothes is worse. At least with spiders, you deal with them once and can (hopefully) forget the experience. Children clothes on the other hand, especially the expensive one, tend to linger. You always need to buy new ones when the child grows...or buy more because the current dress is last season...Just thinking about the price makes me shiver more then spiders...
Quite right. It makes me feel bad for the little girl, too. Isn't getting dirty and ruining your clothes a vital part of childhood? I know it was of mine, and I'm sure she wouldn't dare. That girl needs overalls and trainers.
Someone once gave my daughter a string bikini when she was one year old.
String. Bikini.
One-year-old.
It probably retailed for something like $75, if not more, these four tiny triangles of designer-printed fabric. Even so, EVEN SO, I voted for the camel spiders - and no, I did not google them, because I have enough trouble sleeping at night as it is, thanks!
Spider wins, because as absolutely horrifying as dressing a child in designer clothes is, a spider too big to step on and squish is even more so.
thirdbird - Good lord. That's a bit... I'm not even sure what that is, beyond horrifying. I'm suddenly very glad that, in all likelihood, neither Sherlock nor Mycroft will *ever* feel moved to wear a bikini. (I'm fairly sure that if either of them were girls and the subject came up I would want to say something like "Not until you're thirty.")
Anonymous - ...Yes, I do see your point. Perhaps a sledgehammer.
In the U.S. (United States) We have wolf spiders which cause necrosis (skin rotting, but you probably knew that), which there have been mixed reports if antibiotics makes worse. Then black widows which are poisonous.
The problem with wolf spiders, they can hide in your bed if your comforter or any sheet has touched the floor, am assuming the same with black widows. I've always found the wolf spider much more frightening, having rotting wound and not noticing it soon enough, yikes!!
I'm unfortunately over-familiar with necrosis, although not due to spider bites. Wolf spiders and funnel webs...I don't know, I'm starting to think we had the right idea getting rid of all you spider-laden colonies. ;)
Wooo
To the anonymous who posted that spider pic PLEASE PUT A WARNING UP NEXT TIME. I stupidly followed that link think it would be something cool like the pic of a camel dressed as spiderman and instead I got the fright of a life time. I have a phobia of all spiders big and small and when I saw that thing I 1) jumped out of my chair 2) screamed 3) maddly clicked to get away from it and 4) spent the next few minuets hyperventilating.
I don't mean to have a go at you but I am going to having nightmares for nights to come.
How could I not Google camel spiders when you said it so many times? And my first thought when I saw the results (including someone's hand slowly disintegrating, presumably from a bite) was OMFG. You must be an amazing nanny because I can't imagine how you deal with those two kids, and I'm enjoying reading your blog, but please don't ever do that again.
Alright. In the interest of not perpetuating myths and misinformation, I feel obliged to point out that:
1) Camel spiders are not actually spiders: they are solifugids (Order Solifugae, while spiders are Order Araneae). Both are arachnids (Class Arachnida) though, as are scorpions and mites.
2) Camel spiders can reach up to 15 cm in Middle Eastern countries so, yes, quite intimidating, but they aren't poisonous. They just have huge chelicerae, which they use to subdue their prey (insects, spiders, lizards). So yes, a bite from them can be painful, but it’s a mechanical pain, not a chemical one.
I personally think they are very intriguing animals-- with their two small, beady black eyes (spiders have generally 8 to 6 eyes) and their weird long palps with gluey-tips (which they wave around in front of them like antennae). They also look funny while they're running around and while they're eating (check http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5I4cC3SzZgc to see).
3) Wolf spider bites (referring to spiders of family Lycosidae) ARE NOT necrotic. Nor is their habitat indoors (they are fairly common outdoors, though, so I suppose they can easily slip inside). I know of only one species of spider whose bite can cause local necrosis of the skin in humans and that is the brown-recluse spider, Loxoxeles reclusa (family Sicaridae).
4) Only 20 species out of the +10 000 spider species known to us have poisons that are harmful to humans. The overwhelming majority of spiders, although poisonous, are not harmful to us, but rather beneficiary, as they play a role in the control of insect populations. Urban spiders (spiders that have evolved with humans and adapted to human habitats, i.e. houses), for example, prey on indoor insects (like mosquitoes) and even other spiders, acting as pest control agents.
And there. End lecture mode. :) Sorry, but my interest in spiders was actually partly driven by a post full of spider misinformation, which prompted me to do some proper research on the subject. So now that I know better, I can't help myself.
If anyone would like to read more on the subject check this site: http://www.washington.edu/burkemuseum/spidermyth/
Cheers!
Post a Comment