I was going to call, but I'm less likely to say something stupid in public, so.
I'm willing to believe it's just a piece of paper to you, but it's not to me. I didn't want to ask about the ring. I suppose I should have, so this is partly my fault. I didn't mind it so much because when we went out people tended to think it was for, well, you and me. Not you and some other bloke. Which I'm well aware is stupid and also deceitful on my part. But it never occurred to me that the reason you were still wearing it was because you were still married.
I think perhaps I'm bit more traditional than you are about these things. I am not happy to suddenly find out I'm in a relationship with a married man, even if neither you nor he see it that way. I'm not happy you didn't tell me either, but I'm willing to believe you thought I knew.
I think that covers it.
Anyhow. Just come home when you can, it'll be all right.
I'm willing to believe it's just a piece of paper to you, but it's not to me. I didn't want to ask about the ring. I suppose I should have, so this is partly my fault. I didn't mind it so much because when we went out people tended to think it was for, well, you and me. Not you and some other bloke. Which I'm well aware is stupid and also deceitful on my part. But it never occurred to me that the reason you were still wearing it was because you were still married.
I think perhaps I'm bit more traditional than you are about these things. I am not happy to suddenly find out I'm in a relationship with a married man, even if neither you nor he see it that way. I'm not happy you didn't tell me either, but I'm willing to believe you thought I knew.
I think that covers it.
Anyhow. Just come home when you can, it'll be all right.
54 comments:
♥
Good man. I hope the boys are doing all right.
fucking hell, you don't want to know the scenarios that have been going through my mind today.
I don't wear the ring because I'm still married, I wear it because I work in the police, and because I wasn't out at work until now, and because suddenly taking it off would have opened me up a million questions I wasn't ready to answer. It's off now. You can do what you want to it when I'm home. Throw it in the Thames, hit it with a hammer, whatever.
I think you are more traditional, but that doesn't excuse me assuming you'd see this as I do. Believe me when I say it's not because I don't take things seriously. I do. And I'm still ashamed I couldn't make it work, because I meant to, and I thought I'd do a better job than my mum ever could, and when I couldn't, that hurt.
Please don't think any of this is your fault. None of it is. You shouldn't have had to ask about anything, I should have told you.
I'll be home tomorrow afternoon. Are the boys okay?
you don't want to know the scenarios that have been going through my mind today.
I can imagine, sorry. I just needed some time to be more rational about it.
I can see that, about not wanting to answer questions at work. And I know you meant to make it work. I can't actually say I'm sorry it didn't, for obvious reasons, but I'm sorry you got hurt. I do love you.
The boys are...confused. Sherlock doesn't understand why a piece of paper or a ring mean anything at all. Mycroft gets that part (I think) but doesn't see why I'm upset about it as it's all in the past.
*sending virtual hugs to all of you*
I'm actually a bit teary from this post. It may be silly to become so invested in the happiness of people one only "knows" on the Internet, but I'm glad to read that while things may not be entirely forgiven/forgotten, there will still be the time to do so.
All my best to you both. ♥.
Did you get my text? Be back in an hour or so. Should I come to yours or head back to mine? up to you.
Come here. The boys are out. Their mum showed up a few hours ago to take them to a concert, says she'll have them back after dinner.
Right.
Nice picture.
I didn't know it would show up next to all my comments. And cut my nose off like that. I miss you.
You'll have to let me - or one of the boys - take a proper one of you. Mycroft's got a good eye for such things.
Miss you too.
I know we have to talk, but I warn you I'm a bit wrecked. I'll try to make as much sense as I normally do.
I think a nap might be in order for both of us before we talk.
Do you promise not to kill me with a toaster as I sleep? At least not until after we've talked. Then you're free to do whatever you like.
I promise not to kill you with any household appliance whatsoever.
You two are killing ME this weekend. Just so you know. <3
Er, enjoy the nap, and I hope the Talk goes well, with no toasters involved. (And that the boys get lots of hugs and stuff when they get home, even if Mycroft thinks he's too old for it. I can't help imagining they must feel a bit shaken, too.)
Thanks, everyone.
And thirdbird - yeah, I think that's why their mum showed up out of the blue. She'd oddly dependable like that.
No matter how uncomfortable the Talk ends up being, I think you both realize the other is worth going through the unpleasant stuff with. If you can get through it you'll be stronger after. Good luck fellas.
...Wow, some very vicious anons round here today. I wonder if we'd find anything interesting if we IP tracked this one? Familiar name & face?
Hope you guys talk it out. You're a cute couple. :)
Thanks for all your kind messages. We have talked.
And please ignore the anon. Mycroft tells me it's a 'troll'. And they shouldn't be fed. That probably means more to the rest of you than it does me.
Bloody hell, Mycroft, does all of that HAVE to appear on every comment, really? Isn't the picture bad enough?
Ha! Nice one, Mycroft.
there's no need to encourage him.
Probably not, but its fun anyway!
May be entirely too many middle names there. I'll just keep calling you just Lestrade, shall I?
Please do. And if Mycroft relents I might be allowed to get rid of some off them at some point. Although John is far too delighted by the picture.
Sorry, but I'm delighted by the picture as well. I don't know why you're embarrassed about it. Would you feel better if they'd used the most recent one? Or (god help us) the even younger, more glittery Lestrade picture?
What did John call it? DI Guyliner?
No! I dunno, it's a horrible picture! All posed and odd - it's an official police one, from the 80s I think, possibly very early 90s, when I was a PC. It's like having a school photo up there. I'd rather they didn't use any, definitely not the one from the band.
You're just like me, then, you're one of those people who are just embarrassed by any photograph. I totally understand. Except that believe me, you are way more attractive than me. *G* I don't suppose a vote would convince you...would anything?
On the bright side (John tells me I have to stop putting myself down all the time - this is me trying, John) at least I'm not frowning. Which I probably do about 90% of the time. So I suppose it's not so bad. But a more recent photo would be more...honest? Helpful?
Although I very much doubt I'm more attractive than you. I'm sure you're lovely.
That's because you're a gentleman.
I'm not going to put you in the position of having to either put me down or lie to me. *G* So I'm not putting up a photo.
(But you really, really are.)
It's not a bad picture, but I feel your pain. I recently stumbled on an ID from my first job when I was of a similar age. And while it's not a bad photo - I was dorkily happy to have that job - I'm sure I wouldn't want it to represent me to the world now.
L - It's a lovely picture, I have no idea what your objection could possibly be.
And you do not frown 90% of the time. Maybe when you're at work, but not here.
Mmm. Okay. Well you're obviously very good for me, then. And will prevent me from getting too many wrinkles in old age. Although you and the boys probably cause me a few grey hairs. Which I think is a fair trade off.
It's not lovely, it's cheesy, at best. Although I do want to know how Nicky got hold of it.
I know, why I always volunteer to be the photographer. Best solution to avoid pictures. ;)
Mum got that from the local paper, Orio. They printed it, and she wrote in to get a proper copy, and got one for me. It was the only way we could ever get a picture of you in your uniform! It's your own fault, for not sending us a nice one of your choice.
Nicky
xx
ps. John, are you sure next week is okay? It's very kind of you. I'm really looking forward to meeting you all.
Very sure. We're all looking forward to it as well.
Mmm. You are. Nicky, I'm searching you for scrapbooks, photo albums and anything else I consider contraband before you come near him.
Danger, any time you and Sherlock want to come and save me from my paperwork mountain, I might be persuaded to break for lunch...And Mycroft, if he's not at a tutor. Bring food, a few lengths of rope, a grappling hook, and a search dog or two.
Fortunately that's the number of search dogs I have available. We can be there in about twenty minutes? I'll stop and get Mycroft on the way.
excellent. I think for survival I require a sandwich, possibly some cake and some decent coffee. Then the prognosis may take a turn for the better. At the moment I've got cramp in my hand, am going cross eyed and am fairly sure the walls are closing in on me.
Thanks for rescuing me, Doc. You have healing...packed lunches.
Sorry if Sherlock is hyperactive from nicking half my coffee. I'll cook tonight, if you want? Payment for lunch.
Oh god, Sherlock on caffeine? That sounds like a challenging afternoon. What's the most relaxing thing you can make for supper? Is there food that makes a 5 year old fall asleep? I suppose not or else that miracle would be common knowledge. Try John's favorite comfort food anyway.
Dinner would be great, you want me to pick anything up? We're at the park letting Sherlock run off the coffee with Phobos and Deimos.
kholly - Is there food that makes a 5 year old fall asleep?
Oh, I wish...
I desperately needed the caffeine, believe me, and I very much doubt Sherlock did. But he's an efficient sneak thief.
John, you definitely get to choose dinner. Anything you want. And you can slip Sherlock a mickey if you need to. I trust you - you're a doctor.
(I'm kidding, Mrs H)
Something with pasta and lots of cheese then. Mycroft says he'll make salad if he can put bacon in it.
ooh, macaroni and cheese... mmm... that's exactly what I was thinking when I said comfort food, but figured that was just me. Good thing there's an ocean between us or you'd have a surprise guest.
Farfalle ai quattro* formaggi?
With some of the following: Gorgonzola Dolce, Pecorino, Parmigiano, Mozzarella, Fontina or Ricotta - depending what I can find. Or less exciting cheese, if I really get desperate.
Tell Mycroft he is more than welcome to.
*or tre, cinque, sei, depending on what I get.
Oh god, yes please. That sounds amazing. There's a cheese shop on the way back from the park. We can stop and get some if you like? Speak soon if so, we're just leaving now.
go for it - just ask them what they recommend, I don't mind what it is. It'll be better than anything I can get in the supermarket!
By the way...in the light of my new attempt to confess all, and because it'll help me if all of you lot gang up on me, I smoked at the weekend. (remembering now because I so badly want a smoke now) And feel shitty about it. And now have worse cravings. So everyone feel free to leave streams of abuse I can look at if I'm tempted again. (Probably best to leave them on my journal, mind, not John's.)
As a sidenote to the above - I now have a post up on my blog, so I can always find it next time I get cravings. You'll be saving my life.
This does sound like a good idea. Pasta is a very filling meal and if you feed Sherlock enough of it he will be too full to run around and get into things a make a nucense of himself. Of course then the caffine will still be giving him energy so be prepared for the heap of talking/questions that will occure once he is sitting still.
I'm always prepared for the talking and the questions. He doesn't need caffeine for that. :)
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