Just wanted to record this for posterity in case he later decides to deny having said it:
I will only take you to Italy if you promise to let me buy you ice-cream.
Not one of his more hard-driven bargains, but it works out well for me.
Also, to everyone who's picked "What wedding?" in the poll, you could take a look at this, or google William and Kate. I picked this article for containing the line: "St James's Palace is dark, dingy and depressing." William, it says, would not want to live there. The source quoted is "a courtier," who has apparently not lived half the places I've lived, if he thinks St James's Palace is dingy.
Also, to whoever (I suspect Elizabeth, but I can't remember) (or be bothered to look it up) said that we needed a chamoise handkerchief, it'd be more accurate to say L and his bike need one. He's got a print out of it folded up in his wallet.
I will only take you to Italy if you promise to let me buy you ice-cream.
Not one of his more hard-driven bargains, but it works out well for me.
Also, to everyone who's picked "What wedding?" in the poll, you could take a look at this, or google William and Kate. I picked this article for containing the line: "St James's Palace is dark, dingy and depressing." William, it says, would not want to live there. The source quoted is "a courtier," who has apparently not lived half the places I've lived, if he thinks St James's Palace is dingy.
Also, to whoever (I suspect Elizabeth, but I can't remember) (or be bothered to look it up) said that we needed a chamoise handkerchief, it'd be more accurate to say L and his bike need one. He's got a print out of it folded up in his wallet.
37 comments:
Get Mrs Holmes to give Wills and Kate a bell, tell them they can have your flat, and you and the boys will have St James's. Plenty of room for all the dogs, rabbits and science labs you lot need, and Wills and Kates can have a nice pad for two in central London. If anyone can sort it out Mrs H can.
What me and my future-bike-to-be get up to is none of anyone's business. But I do already have a chamois.
And our union will be a lot more exciting than the bloody royal wedding.
Given this comment and the most recent on on your previous post, either Lestrade's had one-too-many espressos this morning, or his account's been compromised. You might want to have Mycroft take a look at the account.
On the contrary, I haven't had anywhere near enough caffeine.
Sorry, not having the best of mornings.
But still wouldn't turn down living in St James's.
Heh, well, we've all hit the keyboard in the wrong mood sometimes :-) (I hope John hugs the living shit out of you for that comment on his previous post, you daft sod)
I'd suggest more coffee, but I'm loathe to be the one who pushes you over into a coronary. Hope your morning improves.
I wouldn't mind St James's too much myself...
Thanks. It has, in some ways.
I was just being maudlin because when I was having breakfast this morning Sherlock came and sat on my lap and asked me if we could go for ice-cream in the park again, so I had to tell him I had work, and then he got into a proper strop about it and told me I was boring and he hated my job and then stomped off and hid in his room.
I probably didn't exactly handle it well. So I really wanted to get out of here early today, and try and spend a bit of time with them, only to discover my suspect broke his bail conditions last night. And now there's a report of what may be one a body part turned up int eh river again, and all I can see in front of me is another long day.
I've just realised I stopped making sense in that last paragraph. A body part has turned up. It may be part of my gang-killing-dismembered-body.
Hopefully the low tide and hot weather might lead to a few more bits turning up now.
I like this idea. St James's would probably be just about big enough. (I bet the cleaning staff there wasn't pleased with "dingy" either.) Sherlock could have a whole herd of giant rabbits and we'd barely see them.
Be very handy for work, anyway. Just a short walk through the park each day. Nice.
The rabbits could roam the park. Mycroft could make them radio transmitting collars, so we could find them. Or teach the dogs to herd them.
The dogs could definitely herd them, it'd give them better exercise than we're managing now. And there'd be plenty of room for Nicky and everyone to come and stay.
True. And the boys could learn to ride (can they ride? Can you ride?).
And Anthea and everyone could make friends with Charlie and Camilla's security. Share schedules.
Anthea just gave you the most epic stinkeye for that suggestion, not sure why. Maybe she thinks they have it too easy, what with the lack of stink bombs and all.
Mycroft says he can ride and that Sherlock has been on a horse a few times, but he was only three and doesn't remember it. I...have ridden a mule, once, in Africa. Not sure that counts. What about you?
Used to be able to, when I was a kid. Local stables would rope us in to hack out on the horses, exercise them if their owners were absent/had too many horses to ride. We thought it was great fun. Now I realise it was free labour - meant they didn't have to pay stable hands to do it. But still fun.
Haven't ridden for about 30 years, though. Two wheels good, four legs bad.
By the way, my 'deal' comes with a small condition.
Ovviamente, ciò significa che dovrai imparare l'italiano, così quando saremo là potrò sussurrarti all'orecchio delle paroline dolci senza che Sherlock mi guardi male e mi dica che sono 'noioso'.
So già parlare italiano, Lestrade. Comunque porterò il mio iPod e ascolterò 'Imparare lo Swahili' per non sentire quello che vi dite tu e John. E sono sicuro che troveremo un modo per distrarre anche Sherlock.
Ma certo. C'è forse qualche lingua che tu non sappia parlare, Mycroft? Una che possa sperare di imparare io stesso?
(Do you have any idea how hard it is to type in a foreign language with predictive text? It's making me doubt myself. This is more Italian than I've written for years.)
No, nessuna che tu possa sperare di imparare, temo.
(I didn't notice any mistakes. We should converse in Italian sometimes. I don't get enough practice at day-to-day discussions.)
And I've no idea what either of you are talking about.
I was trying to be clever.
Mycroft was cleverer.
I'm pretty sure Sherlock knows Italian too, sorry. And while I'm not agreeing to anything I translated via google, you can try to teach me if that's what that all actually meant. I'm warning you though, I'm not all that great at languages. You've heard Sherlock mock my French accent.
It was a suggestion you should learn Italian, so I'd be able to, er...communicate my desires to you, without Sherlock telling me I'm 'boring'. But clearly that part of the plan isn't going to work.
The rest was Mycroft telling me I don't have a hope of learning a language he doesn't already know.
We'll have to pass notes instead. Like schoolkids.
He doesn't know Klingon. 'Course, neither do I, so that wouldn't help much. I'd still like to learn Italian, but only if you'll help.
There's always texting, but I admit it lacks a certain element of romance...
Is Klingon actually a language - I mean, not just bits they made up at random for the scripts? Wow. Not exactly the language of love, I'm guessing. Be hard to whisper sweet nothings into your ear. You'd end up with an ear full of spit.
Of course I'll help. Although I probably speak Italian like a teenager, and make people laugh at both of us. I don't exactly keep up with the latest phrases/slang.
Texting on my phone could end up with anything... it managed to change 'love' to 'lice' the other day - luckily I spotted it.
Sending you all my lice...
Lice to all...
Give my lice to your sister...
lots of lice.
Anyway, as licely at it is talking to you, I'm going to have to go and talk to my suspect, with every hope we can at least charge him with something and get him held until court tomorrow, and then remanded.
And apparently he's a very unhappy customer, who believes he's entirely innocent. So this should be a fun conversation.
Good luck.
If I come home battered tonight it's because I've had to go into protection mode between him and Sal.
Sal's got a vicious right hook.
(Of course I'm not implying there will be any police brutality.)
Of course not. Sounds like police protection to me.
Wow. Not exactly the language of love, I'm guessing.
Apparently there are more than one set of Klingon enthusiasts who have gotten married in full costume with the service conducted entirely in Klingon. The internet daily introduces us to new wonders!
Also, it's hard to find an accurate word for Mycroft's confidence that seems accurate; I would say "arrogance" but that seems uncharitable given that he's probably correct.
Not going to be home any time soon.
Can we do the usual drill - you lot eat, try to preserve some food for me.
Can you tell me a story tonight?
Not tonight, mate. I'll be late, and you've got school tomorrow. Please be good for John. And I'll do my best to get home in time tomorrow.
You said you'd do your best to get home tonight.
When can I ride on your motorbike?
I know. I did. My best is no match for the criminals of London.
I won't be getting it for a month, then we'll see.
Shouldn't you be in bed? If you are in bed, shouldn't you be asleep?
He is in bed, and he should be asleep. Sorry, didn't realize he had my phone.
He'll have to teach me his pickpocketing skills sometime.
I think I'll be home before ten. This guy is so unco-operative there's just no point in trying right now.
All the people who said 'what wedding' were probably stupid Americans, like me, who were also probably kidding. Because, yes, even us clueless Yanks know that there's a royal wedding.
Which is kind of hilarious, because, what's the slang for American, septic, right? Because septic tank rhymes with Yank? That always makes me laugh, because I'm from about three thousand miles away from where anyone would call themselves a Yankee. I mean, somebody says Yankee, I think New York. I've never been further east than Reno, Nevada.
Geography/social lesson for today!
Also, it's hard to find an accurate word for Mycroft's confidence that seems accurate; I would say "arrogance" but that seems uncharitable given that he's probably correct.
i put it slightly more bluntly in the translation than he did in Italian. But yes, he's was just telling the truth, no arrogance. Just facts.
Jessica, while I know 'septic' is rhyming slang for 'American', i've never heard anyone use it in conversation. But we do call you all Yanks, yes. Never Yankees, though.
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