You've heard about the ice cream yesterday from Lestrade, but I need share these pictures before we get on to the exciting news.
As you can see, they keep the little brains on that shelf. They go in the zombie ice cream.
Frosty and wisely kept behind bars so that Sherlock had to ask me about how cold things can burn you instead of experiencing it for himself. He wanted to know if you'd freeze to it if you touched it, and we talked about people licking metal poles and getting stuck to them. He looked entirely too interested, and I'm glad it doesn't get too cold here. Not that I think he'd do it himself - but daring one of his classmates? Absolutely.
After that, we met their mum at the bike shop and watched Sherlock go mad. So many black bikes to try! All of them so shiny! Mycroft held them upright while he sat on them one by one (with some surreptitious help from L).
He went for a black one with a red stripe in the end, and Mycroft got a dark red one with a black stripe. So it's actually two new additions to the family, and twins at that. They are both mildly disgruntled at almost matching, but neither of them were willing to give up the ones they wanted. We had them delivered, as then it was time for the boys to have a go on the big bike.
You've heard how that went, so I'll only mention that their mum stayed for most of it, and almost looked like she wanted to try it herself. I wonder if she's ever ridden one. I find it hard to picture, but I wouldn't have guess L was a massive motorcycle geek when we met either.
Today, therefore, was spent entirely in the park. L, who claims he's been falling down in his domestic deity duties, packed up a picnic...breakfast, really, since we ate it around ten. I have bad childhood picnic memories of being chased by wasps and chewed on by ants and ingesting potentially hazardous salad cream, but this one was lovely. Maybe the trick is to have it early.
Mycroft has a new trick: he lets the dogs pull him along, one lead in each hand. It looks (and must surely be) extraordinarily unsafe, but he so seldom does kid stuff like this that I couldn't bring myself to tell him to stop, just to keep on the grass where he can't get up too much speed or bowl over unsuspecting pedestrians.
After the tenth go without, Sherlock let us put the stabilisers on, and he was getting along fairly well with them by noon, although he did still manage to tip over and skin his knee. L and I spent a lot of time running along beside him being encouraging and clutching the seat occasionally to steady him. My leg started complaining bitterly on the way home - think I must still be favoring it, as this feels like actual muscle pain from overuse rather than someone stabbing me in the thigh.
Lastly, the tennis: it's the Roland Garros final right now, Federer vs Nadal, and I'm reasonably sure Federer is about to lose. He's down two sets and it's 5-4 in the third. I am actually shocked Federer got past Djokovic in the semis, and though I'd like him to win the final I'm not going to be gutted if he loses. But oh - it's 6-5 now! Federer broke and held! And I'm going to stop giving you play by plays you don't want and post this and go watch.
60 comments:
Well, as the racing's over you can budge up on the sofa and I'll give your leg a rub. You just have to promise me you won't attempt to jump up when you get excited and do me an injury.
No promises! There's a whole other to get through now.
SET, whole other set. Hush, it's exciting.
Ok, ok. Just move your heel out of my crotch before you make me into a eunuch when you leap up. (and yes, I know you're right there, but I'm afraid to speak for being shushed.)
but I wouldn't have guess L was a massive motorcycle geek when we met either.
I'm not a massive geek!
Are so. Is there anything about this race you don't know?
The TT? I'm sure there is, lots, yes.
Well, some. And I can't remember all the facts and figures. Not 100% accurately.
There's no proper racing today - it being Mad Sunday. But I've got a couple of things recorded...I know, I know, not until after the tennis.
Exactly.
It'll be over soon, looks like.
Exactly
Exactly what??
Don't worry, you don't have to watch. You can write the next chapter of Greg The Florist. Your fans demand it, I think.
Exactly, you are proving my point for me!
Oh well, at least Federer took a set off him. Could've been worse.
Your fans! I deny all responsibility for this thing.
How can you deny all responsibility when you started it??
I never did!! Only the bit where you were a florist! You started it all to begin with, with your threshers and rabbit shooting.
That's the only bit we're talking about! Threshers and rabbits were just...chat.
The florist was all you.
Started entirely by you.
YOU.
The original idea was yours!
How was it my idea? Did I sidle up behind you in the kitchen and whisper in my ear "You should start a romance novel about a florist and a mysterious limping stranger with a penchant for Cacti"? NO!
All the fevered imaginings of your mind, Danger, stop trying to deny it.
Is this what you do when you wake up in the night? Do you have a pen name? Is THAT how all these people found your blog??
Oh my God, I bet you do. You're some sort of porn writer and I never knew. What's your name? 'TheLoveDoctor'?
I do not write porn! Or terrible romance novels, or anything else! I don't think I'm cut out to write fiction at all, you're clearly the one with the talent in that direction. You and your annulus.
You leave my annulus out of this.
And your bits were far better. Mine were just silly.
Which reminds me, Mycroft was asking me about bullying, and what I did about it when I was at school.
I need some better suggestions than 'try to make everyone laugh, when that doesn't work, get into fights then run away'.
I'm not sure I have better suggestions. I skipped trying to make them laugh, got in fights, and didn't stop till I got pulled off. It's not really a technique I feel comfortable recommending.
Me neither. Hence my eventual running away.
He's sort of worried...I mean, he didn't exactly say this, but you know, reading between the lines, he's a bit worried people might pick on him because of us. You know? So I think he was asking what to do if people said homophobic things about us, or him. I mean beyond the usual telling a teacher/his housemaster or whoever you tell when you go to Harrow.
I think I was worryingly useless.
Unfortunately, I don't know what else you could've said. He could just not tell them...but I can't see Mycroft keeping quiet if they're making negative comments about it in general anyway. It'll be hard.
The self defense lessons will help a bit, and I'll ask his mum to talk to the school about it. I'm not convinced they'll care at all, but if anyone can make them care, she can. And if it comes to it, it's often easier to fight on someone else's behalf than your own.
It might be different for boys than for girls as girls tend to be more emotional and mental than physical in their bullying. The one time someone tried to bully me in middle school I don't remember the details of just the ending. I wasn't caving to whatever it was she wanted and she threatened to tell everyone something nasty about me if I didn't. I looked at her and said, "My friends won't believe you and I don't really care what you're friends think." She huffed and stormed off and never bothered me after that. And as she was the ring leader no one else bothered me either.
I don't know how helpful that is as an example for Mycroft though as I really did have friends who wouldn't believe her because we'd all been in school together for 8 years by then. He'll be starting from scratch which is much harder.
And I think what actually made it work was that I really truly didn't care what her friends thought so she could do whatever she threatened and it wouldn't really bother me. Even having friends I was always a bit of a loner. I'm not sure telling him to not care is the right answer either though.
Yeah, ok, so just ignore this comment.
He could just not tell them...but I can't see Mycroft keeping quiet if they're making negative comments about it in general anyway.
Yeah, I imagine a whole bunch of teenage boys in that sort of situation will be trying to sort out a pecking order early on, and it'll doubtless involve a certain amount of homophobia.
I think he's worried about people seeing us - he was talking about it when we got back on the bike - when he'd just spent a few hours walking around with the two of us holding hands. He's probably worried people will notice when we go to see him.
But of course, he'd never ask us to change what we do, because he's not like that.
Kholly - all experiences welcome! And I know Mycroft won't want to care what they think, but it's not that easy, is it? I guess we just have to really hope he gets a good room mate.
Ah, poor Mycroft. That is really tough, and unfortunately there is probably little practical advice one can give on the subject. It's an awkward age where children can be vehement and cruel about their prejudices, without any basis of "knowledge" (though I use the term loosely) informing them for logical arguments to have an effect.
Mycroft, if you're reading this, I hope that you don't end up encountering any bullying. Unfortunately, while you're unusually smart and open-minded, some people are just jealous or small-minded or cruel.
I hope that your concern right now is for naught. I was picked on a bit in school -- I was tall, a tomboy, and very smart (though nowhere near as smart as you!), and some people didn't like that. It was harder in middle school for me; by high school I'd learned not to give a damn about anyone's opinions but my friends'. It's hard to do, but worth it if you can. Come university, it doesn't matter what bitter people thought when you were 13.
I know that sort of thing is easier to say retrospectively, but there you have it for what it's worth. Some people are going to be determined to be idiots. (Hah, I would say you can't change the world, but you know, I rather think YOU may in fact be able to down the line! :))
TL;DR: In the interim, try not to worry too much if you can, especially when ultimately there may be nothing to worry about.
(in light of Kholly's comment, I feel I should add that my highschool was in an entirely different country than middle school, so relying on friends was less that we'd forged a longstanding friendship than my realizing that the kind of people who would be snarky about my being smart were not the kind of people whose opinions mattered).
Starting from scratch is hard in terms of friends, of course. But if I understand the system correctly, Mycroft won't be the only one starting anew? Besides, having a DI who solves murders and lets him ride on his motorcycle has to have some coolness cred., not to mention having an army doctor in the family too ;).
i love you even more for loving roger <3
(but i am not a fan of the new comments page fyi)
I was bullied in school too - I always slightly surprised if anyone says that they weren't. And like most people, I have no good advice. For me, at least it never turned physical (but I was at an all-girls school and the warfare was generally more psychological in nature)
One of your commenters on a previous post mentioned the importance fro Mycroft of learning how to defuse potentially unpleasant situations. I suspect that this is doubly important for a child who has had little positive socialization in the past (he's not at school now, his previous experiences around other children have gone wrong, and his intelligence and reticence could be socially isolating). I think this is where Lestrade's experience and police training will be especially useful; learning how to manage a hostile situation so that it defuses rather than escalates will be an incredibly valuable skill for Mycroft to learn. And then some good self-defence techniques in case that doesn't work.
There is information on generic bullying issues a thttp://www.bullying.co.uk/, and information plus more links on homophobic bullying at http://www.kidscape.org.uk/professionals/homophobicbullying.shtml.
It is always worth talking to the school. They should have strong anti-bullying and anti-homophobia policies, and they should be able to demonstrate to prospective parents/guardians that these work in practice. It's a much bigger deal these days than when we were all at school.
I wish I had a positive anecdote to add, especially as Mycroft can and probably will read this. I feel bad that I don't. Feel free to delete the post if you think it's unhelpful for Mycroft to read it.
Bugger - posted a long comment, Blogger ate it. Hopefully you got it via email so I don't have to type it out again.
*glares at Blogger*
tl;dr - Some good bullying (and homophobic) bullying resources on the web; the school should have policies and be able to demonstrate that they work.
I got it via email, Nameless, but Danger will have to fish it out of the spam-pot, I think.
JustBlue - You had me worried there! I didn't know who Roger was. Danger rolled his eyes at me in a way he can only have learnt from Mycroft. And I've changed my comments page back for a trial run, to see if it works again. It seems to...
Lestrade - most of it was pointless rambling, so it doesn't need recovering; the links might be useful for you though.
i love you even more for loving roger <3
there was any doubt about how these two feel about roger(ing?)
Rogering, maybe...but Roger? Not my type.
Danger can keep him.
What a fantastic match! Well worth getting up early to watch. I'm quite please to see Roger playing the best he has in the last year and a half or so. Wimbledon is going to be amazing if this keeps up.
Unfortunately, I had the shit bullied out of me in school. The most unhelpful thing people told me was that it was not the worst thing that would ever happen to me. And obviously I knew that was true, but at the time? It was absolutely the worst thing that had ever happened to me so far. On the other hand, as this is Mycroft we're talking about, this advice actually has some merit. Being told not to care what people say is easier said than done, but it helps to have a sense of perspective. And a bunch of silly teenage boys? Literally child's play compared to what he's already handled. He'll be fine.
Anon - Yeah, he's a tough kid. I just hope he talks to us if anything does happen. As mentioned, we're hardly sterling examples of what to do.
And I hope these things he's doing - days at the school, in the summer - mean he feels like he's on the way to making friends before he even goes there when term starts.
I mean, they are all bright boys who go there. Just not as bright as him. So hopefully it won't be bad.
*reads Anon's post*
?? Who said that? That's thoroughly unhelpful. It's like saying "Don't feel bad about your broken arm, you'll likely hurt something worse someday." Hardly comforting.
I don't know what to say to help with this, but I'm positive that whatever you choose to do/advise will do nicely. You lot have a good head on your collective shoulders.
The most unhelpful thing people told me was that it was not the worst thing that would ever happen to me.
Yeah, that is incredibly unhelpful. And I'm not even sure it's true. Worse things might happen when you're an adult, but you tend to have more control over them and over how you react to them.
justblue & L - I just like to watch him play, no particular desire to roger Roger.
I think this is where Lestrade's experience and police training will be especially useful; learning how to manage a hostile situation so that it defuses rather than escalates will be an incredibly valuable skill for Mycroft to learn.
Yeah, this. It's one of the reasons I think Lestrade's better suited to teaching him how to handle this crap in general, and self defense in particular, than I am.
Becca - amazing, right? Sorry to see him blow that last set so quickly, but there were some great shots even so. They really bring out the best in each other.
Hey, there was an entire advertising campaign on the telly about how soldiers were trained in all that stuff! You've seen how many times my 'diffusion' becomes 'getting punched'.
Not that I'm not willing to help Mycroft - of course I am. But I bet you know loads about all that stuff too.
Danger - it's always a shame to see things get blown too quickly.
L - not sure how to put this. Let's say I didn't have a lot of opportunity to use that aspect of the training, and it never stuck with me particularly well anyway.
I wish I had better advice for you and Mycroft. Bullying is a horrible thing to have to endure, and it can be very hard to stop.
My son (he's currently 16) had to deal with a good bit of bullying in grade and middle school (up to age 13)--not being beat up but teasing/taunting/isolating. It was all made more difficult because Max has serious problems with social cues and socialization in general.
He's now in a special program at the high school (just finishing his second year there) where there has been very little trouble. However, one of the aspects of the program he's in is that there is an aide with him most of the time; it's hard to hassle a kid with an adult right there.
I know this isn't a solution that's likely to help Mycroft. My recommendations for what might, such as they are, are for him to talk to an adult about any problems he has. (With his maturity, he should have fewer problems with being believed than my Max has.) Ideally, that should be you and someone at the school, but just having an adult providing emotional support should help.
On a more cheerful note, do any of you follow Doctor Who? (I'm always looking for more people to share with, and last night's episode was something else.)
Well I'm sure we can work on it together, right? I mean, my training, your training, some sort of vague muddle of skills? You try not to punch me in the face too often, I'll try not to let Mycroft knock my brains out on the coffee table or set the dogs on me.
Humantales - well, we're only 20 mins away on the bike. The school says the housemasters all take care of the boys - and Anthea will be right there. Mycroft gets on really well with Anthea. Plus the dogs, too! He'll just have to start taking them to class with him if he gets worried. They're well enough trained to sit through double geography, I'm sure.
one of the aspects of the program he's in is that there is an aide with him most of the time
I'm glad. I think that's really the only way to be sure, and kids are just such little shits sometimes. A lot of times. I hope it's making things easier for him.
L - yeah, together is good.
Ah, John, that you're not a Rafa fan is my only complaint about you in all these months of reading your blog - what's not to love about a man so talented who's also completely humble and has a fabulous work ethic to boot?
As for bullying - I don't know how helpful this might be, but my personal experience: I grew up in a very small town and when I went off to school I was the only non-white child there. I will give some of my peers credit for never seeming to think about it, but all too often I was treated like a novelty by the rest of them and even used as an object lesson by teachers and administrators ("Our Non-White Friends" was an assembly we had the day after a particularly vicious boy said of my brown skin that it proved that I was dirty all over). It's absolutely no fun to stick out - and Mycroft, I know your intelligence means you will always be extraordinary, no matter how smart your future classmates are - but fortunately you have the same source of strength that I counted on to get through my days at school: knowing that I had a family that loved me and wanted the best for me and was there for me even when I felt alone. You can do it!
Innie - used as an object lesson by teachers and administrators
Christ. Well, that's especially awful. The adults ought to do better and so often they just don't. I'm sorry.
And I do like Nadal! Just not as much as Federer. I am a bit glad he won though - I'd a lot rather have him as #1 than Djokovic.
Thank you. You're all very kind. That hasn't been my previous experience of most people, but perhaps I've simply met the wrong people.
My experience of bullying was that once I wasn't alone it was a lot easier.
In my case it was going to high school where there were people like me, we naturally gravitated together and ignored everyone else. I also found that having a sport I could play helped a lot. (I was a hockey goalie which requires physical fearlessness much more than fitness or skill, suited me fine!)
Given that Harrow will have a very wide profile of people there will be idiots but there may well be people who share one or more of your passions, find them and spend time with them, avoiding the idiots. Get some inline skates and practice your skating if there is no rink, any physical skill helps with idiots.
It won't be easy, and your supporters are a long way away, but if you see it as an education in reading people, acting, and finding ways to get people to enjoy doing what you ask you will go far!
(nobody loves a smartarse, many people love an obviously bright person who smiles at them and is genuinely interested in what they've been doing...)
Mycroft - you make it easy for us to be good to you, being such a good kid yourself.
John - thanks. And Vamos Rafa!
Mycroft, you will find nice people at school. There's something about school that seems to bring out the bully in some, but there are lots of nice kids, and adults, there as well. Just keep yourself open to the possibility. (This is the hard part; I don't claim it's easy.)
I hope you're successful.
A thought that occurred to me: Are the other kids going to be very jealous that Mycroft gets to have his dogs with him at school? It can't be common and I know it's the kind of thing I'd be jealous about. Not that it pertains to bullying one way or the other. Though it might help him to make friends. Dogs make a great ice breaker I've found.
KHolly: Dogs make a great ice breaker I've found. Oh yes. I once read about someone who met his best friend-to-be at school when the boy's dog bit him and landed him in the hospital; the boy visited him every day.
My experience is school was yet again different from most. I moved into a new high school every single year (often mid-year) from age 14 to 18. That's four of them in four years for those of us playing the home game. Throw in that I was incredibly tall, fat and held one of the highest GPA's in the class and I had a target painted on my back.
My solution (and it worked pretty well for me) was to be as civil and kind to everyone as I could. It's really hard to bully the girl who just offered you a cookie and some help with your math homework.
Oddly, the other thing I did was set bullying rules. I know, that sounds dreadfully strange but it worked for me. I remember an incident with someone giving me Hell over reading during a free period (I think I was in my Tolstoy/Potok phase at the time). And I put up with it for about sixty seconds and then looked up and said "Have you ever read any Tolkien? Seen the glory in a well-solved Riemann sum? Held a conversation with someone from Spain in Spanish? No? Then I'm sorry, you've no place to judge the object worth of such things and as such, have proven yourself unqualified to bully me. Please come back when you have. If you like, I can provide a suggested reading list and course of study that will have you set to call me ugly names round about February. Shall we?"
That got around really fast. Especially as I once made up little questionnaires and anytime someone started something I would hand it to them and say "Fill it out and then you can call me a twat. Thanks."
Looking back on it, I was a deeply weird kid, but my high school years weren't too bad. And it mostly worked. Nothing is foolproof, but mostly.
TTFN,
Bronwyn
Bronwyn, that must have taken an incredible amount of courage and some serious attitude to pull off. I'm impressed! (I just ignored as much of it as I could.)
I just realized I have this WordPress ID I can use. Here goes.
Bronwyn, that is amazing. You definitely have my undying respect there.
Elizabeth, I think I remember reading that too somewhere. I suppose it was memorable since it's a unique way to forge a friendship. If I recall correctly, the one boy had a smaller dog, but the Dogs of War's size will undoubtedly be beneficial, not only for the cool factor but also bc who would bully anyone whose dogs could swallow you whole?
The most unhelpful thing I was told (over and over and over) was probably "Just ignore them and they'll stop."
THEY DON'T.
Almost all of my bullying was verbal...a lot of sneaky stuff too, where people pretend to befriend you and then cut you down later. Talk about trust issues. Generally speaking, girls seem to bully more verbally than physically, though that's not always true.
Here's a pro tip though: sometimes it's better to keep your damn mouth shut when someone is at you. The one time I got the shit kicked out of me was when I said some stupid things that the other girl interpreted to mean I was calling her a whore. (What I actually meant was that I didn't take her threats of violence seriously, I thought she'd have to get one of her delinquent male friends to beat me up. I'm not sure that was a good thing to say even if she HAD interpreted it correctly. It was also wrong, as it turns out. She did a very good job of beating me up by herself.)
It occurs to me that we're pretty uniformly setting up school as this horrible experience. It's really not always that bad, honest. A lot of people have bad school stories because most kids go through a Jerk Phase at some point, and school throws everyone all together, and the adults don't do a very good job of moderating things, most of the time. There are a lot of idiots out there, but there are a lot of good people, too, honestly. If you can find them, they can become friends you keep with you all your life.
If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be, "Don't be afraid to trust people." Sometimes you do get burned, yeah, but if you don't take the risk you never gain anything.
I credit my father for 95% of my attitude during high school and most of my better ideas. And I loved three out of four schools. One of my best friends to this day tried to start something with me and when I handed her my little quiz from Hell, actually looked up the answers, gave it back and called me a bitch. I told her she got one wrong and thus a beautiful friendship was born.
School can be amazing and wonderful. So much that I never stopped doing it. I did college and graduate work and then became a high school teacher. Chin up and you'll be fine Mycroft. You're too good not to be.
TTFN,
Bronwyn
KHolly, i doubt any other kids will have dogs, no. But they won't live in with Mycroft, they'll live with Anthea. So it's not as if he'll be walking around with them all the time.
Honestly, I'm sure he'll be kess nervous after he's been to the open days and met some of the other boys who will be in his year. As someone said, they'll all be new, making new friendships, working each other out, and I'm sure he'll make some friends. Afterall, some of the boys won't just be starting a new school, but will have moved to a whole new country to do it.
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