Do everyone's parents mess them up? Is it just inevitable?
Anyway, I've been watching Would I Lie to You? Here's the one with John Barrowman I've just seen, pretty good. What I haven't been doing is sleeping, obviously. At least tomorrow's Saturday, so I can take the boys to the park and let them run me around till I ought to be ready to fall asleep in the grass. That sounds nice actually. Providing it doesn't pour again.
Things are going tolerably well on the chore front. I have to stand over Sherlock to get him to make his bed, but that's in no way surprising and at least he does it. Maybe I can get them in on making a chart for the fridge over the weekend. I know, the excitement never stops, right?
L's working tomorrow, maybe Sunday too.
Maybe I'll ring the boys' mum, ask if she wants to come along with us.
Anyway, I've been watching Would I Lie to You? Here's the one with John Barrowman I've just seen, pretty good. What I haven't been doing is sleeping, obviously. At least tomorrow's Saturday, so I can take the boys to the park and let them run me around till I ought to be ready to fall asleep in the grass. That sounds nice actually. Providing it doesn't pour again.
Things are going tolerably well on the chore front. I have to stand over Sherlock to get him to make his bed, but that's in no way surprising and at least he does it. Maybe I can get them in on making a chart for the fridge over the weekend. I know, the excitement never stops, right?
L's working tomorrow, maybe Sunday too.
Maybe I'll ring the boys' mum, ask if she wants to come along with us.
70 comments:
Most parents do their best not to mess up their children...but yeah, from what I've seen it's inevitable. Then again, I have a highly dysfunctional family, so maybe I'm biased.
Your weekend plans sound lovely, much better then my sitting here, glaring at the world (allergies suck).
I'm trying to remember if I actually know anyone with a "functional" family. Not sure I do.
Sorry to hear about the allergies and the glaring.
I heard once that children inherit all of their parents problems, plus a couple unique to themselves. Always made me feel very special that I could be screwed up in new and exciting ways.
Sorry to hear about the allergies too. I was watching all of the cottonwood seeds floating by like particularly idyllic snowfall today. It does indeed suck to have allergies to spring. (I have them, as far as I can figure, to everything else.)
Do everyone's parents mess them up? Is it just inevitable?
"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you."
Phillip Larkin's This Be The Verse.
In other words, yes, pretty much. But at least you and Lestrade are conscious of your patterns and issues and addressing them, which is more than a lot of people do.
All the best to you both.
:D That's exactly the bit I remember. Thank you, timberwolfoz, for being my brain.
John-I don't know anyone with a functional family either which I think is...the point? Er, wrong word, but I mean, it's normal. Some of us have better relationships, but still...we're human, we try, we fail and it's those closest to us that often see us at our worst (weither we want them to or not). The fact that most of us survive our familys is a testament to the human spirit.
Or my family's just that screwed up that survival is an accomplishment *shrugs* Don't listen to me, I'm medicated.
Allergies- Thanks for the comments, I finally found my pills so I'm slightly more human (if slightly out of it), the worst part of spring allergies is it's my favorite season, all those beautiful trees and flowers blooming, swaying in the wind...and I can't go near them.
If it's any consolation, you both seem much healthier than my parents. Growing up with a narcissist for a mother was, um, challenging.
I think kids basically need love. I saw a study recently that showed that the biggest area that parents had an impact on as their kids became adults was whether or not kids learned that they were loved and could trust people. You're providing a loving stable environment, and that's what they need.
Does it actually help you sleep at all, me being there?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I'm not doing this on purpose you know.
I know. Just didn't seem like my presence was making a blind bit of difference.
Look, if you want to go back to yours, that's fine, I'll cope on my own. It's hardly new territory for me.
I just wanted to know if it was helping. That's all. And maybe insomnia isn't new, but having the boys while you're dealing with it is. I'll be back later.
Been to the park? Seems like the rain might have gone for a bit.
I just wanted to know if it was helping. That's all. And maybe insomnia isn't new, but having the boys while you're dealing with it is. I'll be back later.
Been to the park? Seems like the rain might have gone for a bit.
Sorry.doesn't always help me sleep, but it does help yeah.it always helps to feel less alone.
yeah, we went for a bit. Sherlock's doing pretty well on his bike.
Did you see the flypast? I saw a couple of spitfires and a Lancaster, then a bunch of jets and the red arrows with the red white and blue smoke. Should have thought about it earlier.
And good, I don't want you to feel alone.
Got a few pictures, yeah. Mycroft was pretty impressed.
I'm wondering if the two of you would feel more or less secure about who wants to spend the night where if you were actually living together.
Thought they might enjoy it.
Anon - how would security would come into it if we didn't have a choice? Not sure I understand what you mean.
Would you both be less secure because of (as you say) the lack of choice on any given day; or would you both be more secure, because you'd made it clear where you choose to be, by moving in with John and the boys.
Do everyone's parents mess them up? Is it just inevitable?
I think so, yeah. In the same way that most people's parents also do the opposite, and influence the good stuff too; they just don't often get the credit. My parents tried to turn me into a good little housewife, and told me the best way to respond to violence was with violence. OTOH, they instilled in me a deep respect for education, the knowledge that good manners are not optional, and the belief that an independent mind and hard work are the key to success.
Whatever else your parents did or didn't instil in you, their son is a man who has willing taken on responsibility for raising two slightly damaged kids, and is doing so with infinite care, love, and common sense. Which seems like a pretty good thing to me.
"Do everyone's parents mess them up? Is it just inevitable?"
Oh god yes.
But sometimes being a little messed up isn't such a bad thing, and without those little bits of dysfunction you wouldn't really be you, would you?
(Although, speaking as someone who didn't get a family until I was slightly older than Mycroft, I'd say sometimes it's okay to be dysfunctional-ized by parents/guardians. You get to be loved too. And I can flip a quarter with my toes.:P )
Anon - no idea. It's not just my choice. And not John's either, not entirely.
John, be leaving in a bit. Where are you lot? Enjoying the sunshine?
In the park again, with kites painted to look like spitfires. Mycroft's flying his low so the dogs can chase it. Hope they don't catch it, they're doing some good leaps. Want to join us?
I have no idea what the right thing to say about the other thing is, but I feel like it'd be terminally stupid to let you think you're not welcome as far as I'm concerned. So. You are. And we don't have to talk about it. And people not us probably ought to stop bringing it up, thanks.
Okay. I'll drop the bike home and change, then find you.
And thanks. Although now I feel like not talking is possibly worse. I don't know.
You should move in, then you'd have a lot more money to buy me ice cream. We could probably go every day!
Although now I feel like not talking is possibly worse. I don't know.
I don't know either. Just really don't want to screw this up.
Hungarian pastries?
Yeah, pastries (and coffee) sound good.
And I've cream if Sherlock wants it.
Ice cream. Serves me right for not reading what I'm doing.
And Sherlock, you already have enough money for anything you want. But that doesn't mean you'll always be allowed it.
I don't! I hardly get any allowance at all. And anyway you said the liquid nitrogen ice cream was too expensive for all the time but if you didn't have to pay for your flat you could get ice cream instead, I bet you could get lots of ice cream for that! That's just logic. Flats must cost lots more than ice cream because you can't live in ice cream.
Well firstly, you'll have to get in line behind Bryan for my money, and secondly your mum doesn't pay for me, so I'd still have to give her rent or something.
Bryan's stupid and I don't like him and I know you said I shouldn't kick people but I think he deserves it. I would kick him hard if he ever came to bother you at our house.
If he ever came near you I'd let you kick him. Which still doesn't mean you can kick anyone else. He's a special case.
And...I really don't want to screw this up either.
IDK if Blogger ate my comment or what, so reposting and apologies if it appears twice:
John, you're right, and it isn't anyone's business but your own. Certainly not the internet's! I think we're all (over?)invested in your well being, and it may lead us to being nosy. (sorry!)
Sherlock, it is a sad fact of life that many people who most thoroughly deserve a kicking do not, in fact, get kicked. I'm not condoning the practice since it isn't the right thing to do, regardless of how much one deserves it, but it's lovely of you to want to defend your DI.
That's why else Lestrade should come live with us, I wouldn't let Bryan bother him anymore. Also because then he wouldn't have to split up my drawings between our fridge and the one at his flat, they could all be together.
It's not that simple, Sherlock. Sorry.
I really don't want to screw this up either.
I know. We'll work it out. It'll be okay. More than okay, even.
"I know. We'll work it out. It'll be okay. More than okay, even."
There. Right there. That level of effort and committment is what makes the difference.
Sounds like you all need a relaxing treat. Ice cream on top of caramel brownies, perhaps? Group cuddles with the dogs watching a good movie?
We're currently digesting dinner and watching The Trooping Of The Colour highlights on TV, after seeing part of the flypast earlier.
Sherlock is slightly obsessed with what will happen if a horse bolts, a soldier accidentally shoots someone, a bomb goes off, someone falls over and every other disaster which could conceivably (inconceivably?) happen.
And the bearskin hats. I think he wants one almost as much as he wants a gun.
They're so BIG! John did you have one of those? Do you still have it? Can I wear it to school Monday? Please!!
Yeah, most of a bear probably. Entirely possibly bigger than you. We'd never find you inside it.
And unless John somehow nicked one, I'm fairly sure he doesn't have one.
Heh. Nope, sorry. Never had one. Not my bit of the Army.
If I get lots of Degus, and then they all sit on my head, will that be like a bearskin, but without the bear, and without having to kill it and take the skin? I'd need a LOT though, because the hats are BIG and Degus are quite small. And they might not sit very still.
I'm fairly sure two Degus are enough Degus for you. We don't need an entire colony.
Two are definitely enough. And we need to make sure they can't breed.
John, you can try to make sure they can't breed. However, Goofy had several guinea pigs while growing up, they were always supposed to be male, and they were always pregnant. So, good luck
I want two boy ones, like you and Lestrade. Because you can't breed.
And I don't want girls, they're silly. Apart from Anthea, and Mrs Hudson, but Degus can't be landladies or use mobile phones. Although I might be able to teach them to use phones.
Crankybookwyrm, if the guinea pigs got pregnant does that mean John or Lestrade COULD? By a mutation. Or something. Like someone's done an experiment on one of them and they look like a boy and aren't really and it was a mad scientist and then we could have another brother?
Sherlock - BED. And SLEEP. Five minutes, me and John are coming up there to tuck you in.
And give Mycroft his phone back or I WILL get your Mum to block all phone and wireless signals from getting in your room. Capite?
No one is getting pregnant! Can't they be spayed or neutered or something like dogs?
I think Sherlock showed me a webpage that said it was a bit dangerous getting them snipped - because they're so little and don't cope with aneasthetic well.
But apparently they're also not THAT hard to sex. If the report passes inspection I'm sure we could talk to an expert.
Definitely an expert. Mum got Harry and I two gerbils and we ended up with 36. I don't want 36 degus.
I DO!
SHERLOCK!
SLEEP!
Small boys who are not asleep at nearly 11pm do NOT get pets. Fact.
Sherlock (who should not be reading this for at least nine hours!): (And I think it was gerbils, not guinea pigs.) The point was that it's easy to confuse the two genders. Until your boy gerbil has babies, at which point you know it's a girl gerbil but it's too late because it's yours.
Ahah, another brother, Sherlock? Maybe give having a pet a whirl first. ;) Assuming your report passes muster and you prove worthy of ownership by doing your chores, have you started to think of names for the degus?
My sister and I both had guinea pigs, which stayed in the same cage. They didn't mysteriously multiply; we just had the people at the pet store tell us they were both male. You won't necessarily be overrun with degus, John, not to worry! (sorry, Sherlock).
(above comment meant to imply not that those who ended up with mult. animals failed to ask the pet store person, just that with some rodents one doesn't necessarily need to ask an expert to determine its sex)
The person at the pet shop swore they were both male - the gerbils. Mum was not pleased.
(Trying again; blogger ate the first one.)
I've had 3 guinea pigs. The small animal vet I went to said that they should be spayed because female rodents are programmed to be pregnant all of the time, and if they aren't, it can cause all kinds of health problems. I don't know if that applies to degus, though.
Huh. That is very interesting. I can see Sherlock's got a lot of research left to do before I have to worry about rodents nesting in my hair.
timberwolfoz - that is unfortunately apt, thanks.
I was always asking for different pets growing up. Most of the time, my mom claimed to be allergic. She let me have two guinea pigs once, but then one killed the other. It was unpleasant. Since then, I've stuck with dogs and fish. One of each at a time. I feel it's safer that way.
Crankybookwyrm The point was that it's easy to confuse the two genders. Until your boy gerbil has babies, at which point you know it's a girl gerbil but it's too late because it's yours.
If that happened with John and Lestrade I hope Lestrade would get pregnant, because John likes girls AND boys and he wouldn't mind so much, but Lestrade only likes boys so if John were a secret girl (or the mad scientist made him into a girl) then Lestrade might not like him as much.
X, I'd like a little brother so I'm not the smallest and so I could make him do the chores because he was smaller than me, and because then I would have done lots of things that he hadn't ever done, like Mycroft has and I wouldn't be the one who has done the least. And I could do experiments on him.
I haven't thought of names yet. I want John and Lestrade to help me and not Mycroft because he wouldn't let me name the dogs.
Sherlock, that pretty much sums up why you will never get a little brother, right there.
I think you'll find what you want is a slave, not a brother. And you're not getting one of those either.
Also, I don't think the Met would be able to cope with the idea of me on maternity/paternity - I have no idea which would apply - leave in that situation.
And I would still like John, even if he were a girl. But as it's not going to happen, we don't need to think about it.
Sherlock - That's pretty much why I wanted a younger sibling when I was your age. I'm the youngest too except I've got TWO older brothers who got to stay up later and do all the fun things like school trips to France first. (plus if there were four of us we wouldn't all be able to fit in my parents little car and then they would have had to buy a big car like my friend Vicki's parents landrover and that would be really cool and I wouldn't have had to sit in the middle all the time anymore)
My parents refused to provide me with a little sister as well.
I'm told by people who are the older sibling that they have their difficulties too and apparently us younger ones are the ones who got all the attention. Personally I don't believe it
Sherlock might not be arriving at quite the right conclusions, but you can't fault his logic :-)
(Also how has no one so far mentioned how wonderful it is that Sherlock would automatically accept any offspring of John and Lestrade as his brother?)
Trills - that is...pretty amazing, yeah.
And if one of us is getting pregnant, I completely agree it should be Lestrade.
And if one of us is getting pregnant, I completely agree it should be Lestrade.
Even for us, that's quite a bizarre statement...
I'm fairly sure I'm too old.
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