If you've read the comments in L's blog, you'll have seen that Mycroft and Carla gave us the slip today. Not just us, but security as well. They lost us in the crowds of manic Christmas shoppers at Harrods. They let us know they were okay after a while, and then apparently went ice skating and had hot chocolate.
I'm...torn on how to feel about it, and what to do about it. He's a teenager now. He's obviously going to want more freedom than he's had, and it's a reasonable thing to want. I don't know how much he can reasonably have. Need to talk to his mum about that. There's got to be some kind of balance between keeping him safe and letting him grow up. Probably should've done it before now, really.
Apart from that, we all had a nice day, despite the crowds. A bit of shopping (all right, more than a bit), lunch out. L spent at least an hour trying to convince me I wanted an earring after we walked by a piercing place. Nearly gave in, but I'm sure I don't need any more holes in my head than I already have. Pretty sure.
Sherlock asked, idly, if he could get his tongue pierced. We're going to be in so much trouble when he hits fifteen or sixteen.
I'm...torn on how to feel about it, and what to do about it. He's a teenager now. He's obviously going to want more freedom than he's had, and it's a reasonable thing to want. I don't know how much he can reasonably have. Need to talk to his mum about that. There's got to be some kind of balance between keeping him safe and letting him grow up. Probably should've done it before now, really.
Apart from that, we all had a nice day, despite the crowds. A bit of shopping (all right, more than a bit), lunch out. L spent at least an hour trying to convince me I wanted an earring after we walked by a piercing place. Nearly gave in, but I'm sure I don't need any more holes in my head than I already have. Pretty sure.
Sherlock asked, idly, if he could get his tongue pierced. We're going to be in so much trouble when he hits fifteen or sixteen.
49 comments:
You think we've got until he's fifteen or sixteen?? He asked me if he could get his navel pierced and we wouldn't have to tell you then...
As for Mycroft...yeah. Easy to wish you'd had a conversation after you realised you needed it. At least he's an incredibly sensible rebellious teenager. I think I was frequently a remarkably stupid one, which must have been far worse.
I think we've got until he's fifteen or sixteen before we lose all hope of ever having any influence on him again...maybe.
Yeah. I certainly did my fair share of idiotic things too at that age.
Any good influence, anyway ;)
I dunno. No one ever said bringing up kids was easy, right?
Speaking of...when's Sherlock's show? End of the week?
Ha. No, I don't think anyone in the history of the world has ever said that.
Yeah, last day of school. Which reminds me, when do you want to get the tree?
Maybe Monday, after school? If we all pick Sherlock up we could go then? But I won't be around to decorate it much with work. Of course, only if Sherlock's very well behaved when we're away Sunday night...
Sounds good. We can always wait a bit to decorate it.
Or we could load it with tinsel while you're at work and can't object...
I can object from afar.
Anyway, I thought we sort of agreed to be restrained and tasteful last year... and then the flat ended up looking like a bunch of Christmas decoration factories had gone out on the piss and barfed all over it. So I can' only begin to imagine 'unrestrained' decorations.
i really don't mind if you decorate it. Just let me put my baubles on it. SO to speak.
Your bauballs, you mean?
When have I ever agreed to be restrained and tasteful? I don't remember this.
I suppose we could give it a try this year though. For a change.
Maybe I just had fantasies about restraining you. I mean, about you being restrained...with tinsel. No, wait, that's not right either... It would be scratchy. d
You know what I mean.
Do whatever you like. Sherlock even agreed not to wear his halo out and about because I told him he could put leftover glowsticks on the tree, on our treetop comet so, you know...
Well, if anyone's restraining me, I'd definitely want it done tastefully. And not with tinsel.
Glowstick comet...yes, of course.
Two pence worth on something that's none of my business but there are two separate issues with mycroft's trip today and they need different reactions really. He's a teenager and how you all deal with him growing up needs to be worked out and its understandable that he did what he did given the circumstances.
The lying and sneaking around is something quite different and as a parent its easy to focus on the fact you got something wrong and make yourself to blame when you really need to split the two things up.
Anyway I'll bugger off now and mind my own business.
I'm sure you always taste good when restrained, Danger.
AnonyBob - I think...and I'm not entirely sure myself about this, yet...right now, yes, I wish he'd told us he wanted to get away from us/security...but also, if he had told us, chances are, we would have said no. Whereas, once something's happened, and has been okay, then...well, when he asks us next time, maybe we'll be more likely to say yes. So, yes, I don't like that he did it. But I also feel like something like this was sort of...almost inevitable.
Unless, of course, he'd asked and we'd said yes. But we can't ever know that.
That probably doesn't make a lot of sense. And, you know, I can't really put myself in his place, because I was the opposite - way too much freedom. I mean, I wasn't even a year older than him when I left school and left home... which is a thought that terrifies me, now.
It makes sense Greg and its all up in the air for you all at the minute but, I don't know I guess I would be worried that Sherlock obviously thinks its unfair that he was in lots of trouble and mycroft isn't and sometimes you have to punish something because its right for the family as a whole and not lying to you and John is a rule that should never be broken even if the end result is changes to the way things are done.
Not sure that makes any sense at all and I don't have teenagers but I do have two so the dynamic is something I've panicked over a lot ;-)
Sorry for butting in.
It's not butting in, don't worry. No need to be sorry.
We'll have to talk a bit more - with Mrs H, too, and see what we do.
Sadly for Sherlock, being so much younger, some things are unfair.
We'll work it out. Eventually. In time to tell them how to bring up their own children (if they ever have any) and for them to totally ignore us, probably ;)
I'd like to say something to Sherlock--well, two things, actually.
Sherlock, I saw in the comments on your post about your chocolate biscuits (which look delicious, by the way!) that you didn't feel that Mycroft was being yelled at enough or punished enough. Now, I don't know what happened when everyone got home today, but I do remember reading John's post about you disappearing, and I'd like you to think about something, just to yourself. Even from the little bit that John wrote about your disappearing, it is pretty clear that he was very, very scared about you being missing. And if you really think about it, you know you would never do that again because John is the best (as you've said) and you love him, and you would never want to do that to him again now that you know how he would feel. And I know that Mycroft is much older than you, and that there were two of them, and that they both kept their phones with them, so it wasn't quite so scary for John and Lestrade and Carla's parents--but I don't think he thought about that aspect of it enough, especially after what happened to Lestrade such a short time ago. And now he will have to. So that's just for you to think about.
The other thing is something I learned by being the older sibling--when it comes to being allowed to do things, in the long run it's a lot easier being the younger sibling--no, really, it is. For example, when I wanted to start going places myself (and I won't say what age that was, because the 1970s in New York are not the same as the 2010s in London) (yes, I am really that old), I had to present arguments, and accept a whole BUNCH of conditions, and make a lot of promises, and only be allowed to do it ONCE-and-we'll-see-how-it-goes, and on and on. And when my year-younger sister wanted to go somewhere on her own the next year, she was just allowed. And when my five-year-younger sister wanted to go places on her own, she was allowed to three-and-a-half years later (almost a year-and-a-half younger than I was allowed!) and with no arguments or conditions either. So sometimes it's better to be the younger one!
Neither of the boys will ever be 'yelled at'. Sherlock was talked to, Mycroft has been, and doubtless will be more over the coming days.
Whilst agreeing with you anonybob that it is important that children understand that family standards apply to all I think there is a difference when the children reach teenage. Any child that grows up believing that everything has to be fair is in for a nasty shock when they discover that life isn't fair, and sometimes it's better to learn within the family why different circumstances lead to different outcomes, which may seem unfair. What is important is that one child shouldn't be favourited over another (I knew I had succeeded when both mine accused me of preferring the other!).
From what I can see Mycroft and Carla were fully aware of what they were doing and the likely consequences, but continued with their actions. Therefore whatever decision has to be reached needs to take into account all the circumstances. I know at that age (and now) if anyone were just to lecture me on the wrongness of my actions I would shrug my shoulders and do it again - and I hasten to add that that is not what I believe Mrs H, J and L will be doing.
Sorry, probably entirely irrelevant, but just wanted to throw my thoughts intot he pot!
I hope you all have a good day whatever you get up to and that this situation hasn't changed any plans for later :-)
SH I think I'm coming down on that idea in my thinking about stuff, like I said I'm not at teenage point yet so I have the luxury of talking to people about it and seeing how it turns out before I'm faced with it ;-)
Today is a bit more relaxed. Mark, Paul, Nicky and Sherlock have gone shopping this morning. Mycroft and Carla are cooking lunch for us all - with a bit of supervision. After lunch we're all going ice skating, and then, sadly, they need to get home, and John and I need to go and enjoy our night off :)
..John has also gone shopping. He hasn't just disappeared. And we haven't given Nicky and Mark two young boys to try to keep track of.
Have a good day and enjoy what will no doubt be a lovely meal :-)
Sorry, L, I didn't mean "yell" literally. I was just reverting to the language my siblings and I used to describe "talked to when we did something wrong," and clearly an old family shorthand is UNclear outside the family.
Right. Coming from a family where 'yell' and 'fight' weren't substitutes for 'talk' and 'argue' I'm possibly more touchy about their correct usage.
Perfectly understandable.
And I am sorry. Putting myself back mentally to my teens--when who got to do what when really mattered!--brought old speech patterns back, is all.
I think Orio, John and I at least agree that shouting isn't the way to deal with this.
We shall definitely be having a discussion with Carla about responsibility - in all its forms.
But now we're going ice skating, all of us, this time, and everyone has agreed not to go off alone. Although some of us may choose to stick more rigidly to the edge of the rink than others!
I think Carla and Mycroft should do something for or with the security people whose jobs they've endangered. Harder to compromise someone when you think of them as a person and not a job, in future.
Anon, how about choosing a way to define you so that if anyone wants to reply we know which anon we're talking to?
They've made the security people biscuits - Carla and Mycroft's idea, not mine.
I'm reasonably sure they won't lose their jobs. I think very thorough and unpleasant training courses are more likely, knowing Mrs H and Anthea, but of course I don't know for sure. And I don't know how much they were at fault either, since I don't know much about following people. I'd imagine bodyguarding in that sort of crowd depends at least partly on the cooperation of your bodyguardees.
I'm pretty sure that Mycroft knew he could explain the circumstances of their 'escape' to his mother so the security wouldn't get into trouble. I mean, they are there primarily to watch for people who mean the boys harm. Not to keep tabs on the boys as if they're prisoners. I can't imagine many people who could get the upper hand on Mycroft, if he was determined. I would hope Anthea was a pretty good match for him, though!
Danger - after that lunch I may only be good for falling asleep tonight ;)
I don't think he'll believe you Greg ;-)
L - Pfft. You've got hours to recover!
I could potentially have hours to recover, but instead I'm freezing my arse off - literally - on this ice!
You're working off that lunch! It's good for you!
I fail to see how the temperature of my buttocks relates to my working off a lunch!
Come here and be Torvill to my Dean.
...although that thunder and lightening is coming closer. We should seek refuge in a coffee shop soon.
You mean the thunder and lightening wasn't your interpretation of "Bolero"?
We have left the ice, some of us more gratefully than others.
Oh, gosh, the thought of John being Torvill to Lestrade's Dean is making me giggle. Have you seen Blades of Glory then?
What will you do now, if it keeps raining?
rsf
I think I've seen it, but i don't remember much of it, RSF. I assume there's a reference to T&D in it?
Nicky et al have to get off home. John and I have to go and have a night off. Mrs Hudson...well, she'll have to take her life in her hands :)
Have a lovely break gentlemen!
Lancs. Anon
It's the two guys doing pairs figure skating I was thinking of, Lestrade. Have a lovely night off! I hope you both have fun, and Mrs. Hudson and the boys, too!
rsf
Hey Mycroft, I hope you're having a fun morning to yourself and that you're feeling ok after the weekend :-)
Small Hobbit,
If you need a name to reply to us and "anon" is too hard, you don't really need to bother.
Is there a new policy that we all need names to be here?
Anon.
Anon--so far as I know a handle of some sort is not required, but it would be courteous.
Hey anon I don’t think SH meant to be rude or anything, there seem at the minute to be lots of lovely anon folks out there and it would be nice to be able to say hi to people without you giving yourselves away any more than you want to.
I don’t think anyone thinks you have to or even that its rude not to just that if you always stuck a ‘z’ on the end of your post or something we’d know it was the same person if that makes sense.
Obviously there is absolutely no need to do that at all this place is set up as anon posting because John and Greg want it that way and what they want goes :-)
Anonybob is right - no need for names. It just makes it easier for people to respond if they know which Anon it is, but it's absolutely up to everyone if they want any sort of identifier or not.
Just remember not all anons are the same person, and don't treat them as such, if you get my drift.
Well this was two different anons anyway and I was only one of them. Sometimes anonymous is the only way to be brave enough to say anything atall.
then please stay around and stay anon anon :-)the more people around here the more we can torment the boys ;-)
Anonymous -- then please, stay anon. I for one would rather have you commenting anon than not.
-- Anon staying anon out of solidarity with anon :)
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