Friday, April 5, 2013

guest post

Hey, this is Murray. Sherlock says I've got to post this bat.


I guess it is pretty cool. Look at the length of that tongue. Damn. What I could do with a tongue the length of my bloody arm...anyway.

Soooo. How does this work exactly? 3C says just say stuff.  Except not that, he says. And with less swearing than usual. Right. I slept on their sofa last night. It's not bad as sofas go and I am a connoisseur of sofa sleeping. I just had to ask a seven year old how to spell that, by the way. What is my life, god. We had french toast for breakfast, that Greg's an amazing cook.

Went to see the allotment just now that Greg got Watson for his birthday, which is... I dunno. John Watson. Allotment. Not two things I would've thought went together, but he's really into it, so that's good. All their glasses match too. When did you grow up, Johnny? I only left you alone for a couple of years and nothing in your emails led me to suspect this level of adulthood although I guess getting shut down by op minimise in the middle of every other conversation made things a little weird. Started feeling like I shouldn't talk to anyone off Bastion for a while there. Like it would help or something.

Although being ancient (over forty) now I suppose matching glasses and allotments and proper jobs are age-appropriate, thank god I am still younger than you and always will be. This is bizarre, this writing thing. Makes you say things you wouldn't otherwise. Like: I'm thinking about not going back. I'll probably regret it if I don't but the way it's been since I got home, maybe there's only so much fucking over a bloke's head can take and I should stop while I'm ahead. Whatever.

Why don't I have a tag? I am giving myself a tag. 

109 comments:

pandabob said...

Hey Murray nice to see you making use of the guest blog thing ;-)

Its weird how writing things here makes people say things they wouldn't normally, I'm beginning to suspect John inserted some magical powers in the place when he set it up ;-)

John H. D. Watson said...

Wasn't me! Maybe Dr E. I know L suspects her of having magical powers anyway.

Greg Lestrade said...

Guess I can find out if we go and see her together?

Sherlock is telling Murray what he'd do with a tongue that long. Fairly sure it's not what Murray was thinking of.

John H. D. Watson said...

I promise she doesn't, she would've had a much easier time with me if she did. Do you want to?

murray said...

Greg - true, but he's got some bloody good ideas!

Greg Lestrade said...

Sherlock can always be relied upon for plenty of ideas. Not all of them good ;)

John - if you think it would help us, seeing her together, then yes I do.

Anonymous said...

eating cream eggs?

John H. D. Watson said...

Thanks, love. I think it couldn't hurt to try at least.

Greg Lestrade said...

Right.

And Murray, don't be sure the allotment means he's a grown up until we've had it a while. If Sherlock gets his way it will either be dug out as a swimming pool or made into a body farm. Possibly both - underwater body farm.

REReader said...

But then where will he grow his strawberry/pumpkin? (Strawkin? Pumpberry?)

That bat is so cute! (Sorry, Sherlock--but it's all furry and has huge eyes, it is cute. :))

Thanks for the guest post, Murray--and I like your tag!

Murray said...

I expect updates, especially if it turns into an underwater body farm. And he's got you on the grown up side of the scale too. Wasn't sure I'd ever see him stick to someone like he's stuck to you.

murray said...

rereader, thank you, my tag is both godly and accurate.

REReader said...

Two excellent things to be. :)

Anon Without A Name said...

Don't take this the wrong way, Murray, but you remind me of a bunch of Royal Navy sailors I used to know :-)

(No, really, it's a compliment...)

Writing into the ether is easier, I think, than talking to people because you can't see any reactions, it's just you and the words (of course, alcohol and a mate who's been there and seen the same stuff is good too). Sounds like maybe you've been needing to get the words out one way or another?

Lestrade - hope your night shift is just quiet enough that it's not awful, but no so quiet the time drags.

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm off to work. The boys will tell you which kitchen appliances John mustn't touch.

John H. D. Watson said...

Good luck, love. See you in the morning.

murray said...

but you remind me of a bunch of Royal Navy sailors I used to know

Lies, damn lies... ;)

Sounds like maybe you've been needing to get the words out one way or another?

I suppose, maybe. Not many people I can talk to who won't say 'why the hell would you ever want to go back there' you know?

pandabob said...

Good luck with work Greg :-)

John, Murray enjoy catching up with each other a bit more :-) I'm off out tonight to see a friend I haven't seen since before I got married so I suspect I might find myself collapsed on a sofa in the morning with a small child not resisting jumping on me ;-)

Greg Lestrade said...

And he's got you on the grown up side of the scale too. Wasn't sure I'd ever see him stick to someone like he's stuck to you.

Who's to argue with fate. Or Mrs Holmes.

Although not sure about 'grown up'. He fairly often thinks I'm more childish than the boys.

John H. D. Watson said...

Not both of them, only Mycroft, and I fairly often think I'm more childish than Mycroft, too.

Sherlock said...

I'm grown up! Murray let me drink his beer so I AM grown up but it didn't taste very nice but it wasn't horrible either are you catching a murderer?

Greg Lestrade said...

Not at the moment. Catching another nasty person, I hope.

I'm glad the beer wasn't horrible. It's the sort of taste you have to grow into, sometimes.

Has Murray made you a nice dinner? I hope you helped him with anything you could.

Mycroft said...

We both helped, yes. Stir-fried chicken and vegetables with ginger; it was quite good, and nothing caught on fire, much to Sherlock's disappointment.

Greg Lestrade said...

Ah, Sherlock's always sad when there's no mayhem or destruction going on.

I'm also glad you both helped. That was very kind of you.

John H. D. Watson said...

There was a moment when the pan was smoking a bit, but it turned out all right.

How's work.

John H. D. Watson said...

That was supposed to be a question mark, obviously...

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm sure the four of you would have coped with any crisis.

Work's fine. Hope you're having a nice evening.

John H. D. Watson said...

Pretty good, yeah. The boys are playing Holmes-rules Cluedo. No blood has been shed yet. Miss you. I wish I'd got back to bed last night at some point.

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, me too.

Just bad timing, huh? I wish I hadn't been away the night before.

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah. Unfortunate of them to send you away right before you were on nights. Still, only two nights. I suppose it could be worse.

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, exactly. Murray hasn't seen you for years. I get you most nights.

Murray said...

True, though in fairness I'm pretty sure he likes sleeping with you better than me!

John H. D. Watson said...

Should hope so.

Greg Lestrade said...

I dunno, there's been a few nights where he's longed for you lot I reckon.

Kestrel337 said...

The bat was fascinating, especially the ears that never stopped moving. Thanks for requesting that it be shared, Sherlock! Stir fry sounds delish.

Nothing like an old friend, is there.

Murray, I hope you can find some answers. It sounds like maybe you are looking for a few. Just because people don't understand the desire to go back, that doesn't make it invalid.

Greg Lestrade said...

John, I'll be out of the office for a bit.

If you were going to call, my phone will be on vibrate, so I might miss it. Don't worry about it.

John H. D. Watson said...

Okay, thanks for telling me. Call me when you get a minute free? I don't want to interrupt anything.

Greg Lestrade said...

Sure. Don't let me wake you up though.

murray said...

i have two dogs asleep on me. don't even know how they're both fitting on here honestly.

Greg Lestrade said...

That's nice - they just want to take care of you. In a huge panting smelly way...

murray said...

Yeah it's not bad actually. Warm. unmistakably London too.

pandabob said...

Those dogs are so lovely, protecting and looking after people :-)

Does sleep follow work Greg or are you off on a day of fun and adventure first?

Have a fun day all of you whatever you end up doing :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Headed for bed as soon as I was in the door.

pandabob said...

I don't blame ya ;-)

Enjoy your afternoon :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Thanks. It's a lovely afternoon. Finally feels like Spring is a possibility.

Sherlock said...

I finished all my Easter eggs even the ones John hid so I wouldn't eat them all at once

murray said...

Not alllll of them. I found some before you did. ;P

Sherlock said...

DID YOU EAT MY EASTER EGGS?

murray said...

I didn't say I ATE them...just said I FOUND them... I might've hid them a little better than Johnny did.

Sherlock said...

LESTRADE arrest Murray because he stole my Easter Eggs and make him give them back and if anyone finds them don't touch them because we need to take fingerprints and swabs

John H. D. Watson said...

m - You might be in trouble now. He takes his Easter eggs pretty seriously...

Greg Lestrade said...

Sorry Sherlock, don't have any cuffs with me. You might just have to ask Murray nicely if he'll tell you where they are. Or, preferably, tell John where they are, so he can continue rationing them.

Sherlock said...

I SHALL PERFORM A CITIZENS ARREST

Mycroft said...

Or you could simply try to find them, which might work better than an arrest since you're less than half his size.

Sherlock said...

Size doesn't matter I have the law and justice and RIGHT on my side and anyway I've locked us in so he can't escape and I just have to call the police who HAVE handcuffs to come and fetch him and take him to prison and then I can find the Easter Eggs anyway AND I've fought crime so THERE

John H. D. Watson said...

You're not calling the police because of easter eggs, Sherlock. They will not be amused.

Greg Lestrade said...

I dunno, right now this policeman is fairly amused ;)

Sherlock, seriously, you're a very clever boy. I'm certain you can figure out where the eggs are if you examine the evidence and follow clues.

I haven't moved from the kitchen table and I've already worked out where they are.

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh, the look on Sherlock's face right now...

Greg Lestrade said...

He is young. He will learn.

Although he might have ripped the flat apart first...

Greg Lestrade said...

Well, sure as I can be without checking and giving the game away.

Put it this way - I'd be happy to go in front of the beak and get a search warrant with the evidence I have ;)

murray said...

Huh. You'll have to tell me what I did wrong later.

Greg Lestrade said...

John mentioned you'd lost a fair few poker games in your time...

Anonymous said...

It's hard to fool a clever detective, Murray.

I'm astounded that Sherlock has any eggs left in any case. Mine are all gone. Then again, I'm the one who hid them.

rsf

murray said...

lost a fair few poker games in your time...

That is not fair, that bastard he was shagging is some kind of card sharp, I'm sure he cheats!

John H. D. Watson said...

What about everyone else you've lost to? They all cheat too, right?

Greg Lestrade said...

Well, in your favour, your guilty face is only very very slightly more guilty looking than John's innocent face...

Sherlock said...

WHERE ARE MY EGGS?

John H. D. Watson said...

hmph...

John H. D. Watson said...

Sherlock - Lestrade gave you a hint...

Anon Without A Name said...

Sherlock - Lestrade has suggested that there's evidence and clues that you could use to work out where they are... have you seen any clues? Remember, Lestrade said he'd worked it out from the kitchen table.

Sherlock said...

I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE

Greg Lestrade said...

...I'm so glad there's plenty of medically trained personnel here.

John H. D. Watson said...

Well, that could've gone better. He can really move fast in pursuit of chocolate.

Murray said...

Uh...sorry. I've got a feeling I won't be your first call for babysitting duties.

Greg Lestrade said...

Are you kidding us? Anyone who's met Sherlock and is still willing to be called for babysitting duties is very high on the list ;)

Anyway...no harm done. He didn't climb very high before we got him.

murray said...

I was going to offer to take them out somewhere (if Mycroft wants to go) and let you and Johnny have some peace for a bit if you want?

Greg Lestrade said...

That's very kind of you.

However, I'm fairly sure they'll be taking you somewhere... All adults can only trail in their wake, to be honest.

murray said...

Sounds all right to me.

Anonymous said...

Expedition! Get your pith helmets ready!

Greg Lestrade said...

You taking the pith Anon? ;)

Sherlock looked like he was going to dislocate Murray's shoulder as he dragged him down the stairs... obviously now the chocolate has been reunited with it's rightful owner they're friends again.

Or Sherlock's dragging him down the clink.

John H. D. Watson said...

Or going to bury his body in the allotment.

Greg Lestrade said...

Mmm. fertilizer.

Right. I'm going to grab an hour of sleep. Unless you have a better idea.

John H. D. Watson said...

If I join you does that count as a better idea?

Greg Lestrade said...

definitely.

If you stop me sleeping it might be even better.

John H. D. Watson said...

By all means, let's try that then.

Anon Without A Name said...

Hope you guys managed to enjoy your unexpected alone time.

And Mycroft, Sherlock, Murray, I hope you had/are having a good time.

Greg Lestrade said...

We did, thanks. Murray's a brave bloke ;)

Anonymous said...

I expect Mycroft and the dogs can retrieve Sherlock from most perils, if necessary.

rsf

Greg Lestrade said...

Think it was Murray in peril. But the dogs do seem to like him.

John H. D. Watson said...

There was...an incident with a pond. And also with Murray's wallet. I've spoken to Sherlock about it.

Small Hobbit said...

Tell us more!

murray said...

He pick-pocketed me! What seven year old knows how to do that?? Can he pick locks too?

Greg Lestrade said...

...some locks. We try to curtail his practice sessions if we notice. He says it's not fair.

pandabob said...

well that's an interesting development in Sherlock's education ;-)

murray said...

Some locks...right. I'm going to want a full list of shit this kid can do that I might not expect for next time. And if he wants to teach me how to pick locks, that'd be great too.

Anonymous said...

7 year olds are closer to pocket level. Makes things easier.

Piplover said...

No one expects it, which makes them great at it.

Are you saying you didn't learn to pick locks in the military? That was one of the best lessons I picked up! :)

Anon Without A Name said...

Was the incident with the pond the same as the incident with Murray's wallet, or were these two different incidents?

Hope everyone's having a good evening.

Murray said...

no I did not. :( I feel seriously undereducated right now. Serves me right for hanging out with Watson.

Greg Lestrade said...

He was very sweet and innocent when I met him. (Or put on a good show of it, anyway.)

John H. D. Watson said...

Nameless - separate incidents. Sherlock rushed the pond and then refused to come out until Murray went in and got him. They were both slightly soggy when they got back, as were the dogs. Mycroft was the only one who escaped.

Anon Without A Name said...

John - well, it's not good, but I had visions of Sherlock nicking Murray's wallet and hoiking it into the pond for some reason, which would have been worse.

Why am I not surprised that Mycroft maintained a safe distance from the shenanigans? Speaking of which...

Mycroft - are you having a good holiday? I can't remember if you go back to school this weekend or next, sorry, but I hope you've had some good times times at home during the holiday.

Anonymous said...

Sherlock clearly needs to reconsider his tactics. Damp and walletless people do not provide goodies. Perhaps he'll do something impressive in the morning to make up for it. Murray, do you like violin music?

rsf

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm not sure Murray will get more than the apology he's already had.

Mycroft said...

Nameless, it's been a very nice holiday so far, thank you. I don't go back until next weekend, and then at the end of June I'll be done until the autumn. I am looking forward to working in the garden, which is not something I previously thought I'd say.

Greg Lestrade said...

Glad you're looking forward to working on the allotment. It'll be great to have you boys helping out. Nice to have something we can all work on together.

Mycroft said...

Yes, I think it will be.

Moonlit Bear said...

There were allotments when I lived in Montreal. Now that I live in Boston, not really.

Have any of you ever heard of the song Daughter of Evil by the Kagamine twins

Unknown said...

Moonlit Bear, not sure if you'll see this, but I can't resist an attempt. Also don't know what part of Boston you are in, but at least in the South End, there is a lot of community gardening going on (also private gardens in the tiny back yards). You may have to get on a waiting list for a plot in a community garden, but at least that's a start. BNAN (Boston Natural Areas Network) puts out an email newsletter with lots of activities for the public. It does sound like John & Greg's allotment is probably bigger than most Boston community garden plots, but people still grow a lot of food.
S

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